How To Cope With Being Ugly

[Regina]

I know this forum may not seem suitable, but you guys seem like intellectual people. Really the title says it all-how does one cope with being ugly knowing they are going to be looked down upon and disrespected by a lot of society?
I've read up on ray's stuff on learned helplessness--not really what I'm looking for though.

Just thought i'd ask.

If you live in a town where good aikido is practiced, I have seen phenomenal transformation in young men your age. Truly startling before and after every time.

 

[javin]

Read 'Rules of the Game' or join the style life academy by Neil Strauss. These programs will shed a new light on your inner self that has been untapped yet. I'm apart of the program and its worth every penny. Let me know if I can be more helpful.

I don't know much about this book other than that it is pure egotistical and sexist nonsense. Game-playing is only for scum of the earth.

Better advice would be to get away from your ego as much as you can. Dive into spirituality. @Constatine had some really great advice as well!

Just please don't read that awful book.

All humans are beautiful.

 

[Constatine]

That's a lot of vitamin K

Yes it is.

 

[EIRE24]

Wow in that case your really lucky then. Just get in good health and you should be good looking once again. I recommend focusing on bone facial structure by utilizing the following regime: Vitamin k 45 mg, vitamin a at a reasonable amount, vitamin d 15000 ui, magnesium at a reasonable amount, low dose aspirin, 1g lysine, perhaps haidut's pansterone applied to the scrotum (we need to raise testosterone and 5-ar derived androgens so any androgen product will work), and anything else that increases osteoblastogenesis. Also drink a moderate amount of milk, lift heavy 3x a week for about 45 min sessions, stay active, eat gelatin and foods rich in gelatin, and follow the ray peat life style obviously. This should improve facial appearance via improving bone structure. Before I started going health nuts I was unattractive and had BDD because of it. Now people tell me I look like a model where ever I go and so on (brag brag brag). Attractiveness is not genetic and not definite, don't stress out about what you have now, rather take joy in your journey for a better future.

What is a reasonable amount of vitamin A? And wouldn't 15'000 IU of vitamin D be a lot?

 

[Makrosky]

I think you should completely forget about it and go on with your life. Do whatever you like. Follow what you want. That is much more important than being narcissistic and being driven by your ego and cultural beauty standards.

Beimg spontaneous and true to yourself is more important specially FOR YOU.

But of course if what you want is going to the club and shag top models...then yes, by all means follow the advice other members gave you. You can go for plastic surgery as well. And don't forget to enter into the rat race to become rich, nothing attracts more pusypusy than a ferrari.

 

[Velve921]

I don't know much about this book other than that it is pure egotistical and sexist nonsense. Game-playing is only for scum of the earth.

Better advice would be to get away from your ego as much as you can. Dive into spirituality. @Constatine had some really great advice as well!

Just please don't read that awful book.

All humans are beautiful.

This is not how I've perceived any of the information that Neil has taught me. I have been able to find more happiness, positivity, and authenticity within myself from his guidance; as a result I've built better relationships with people than I ever thought was possible. I believe everything we learn can be perceived based on our own thoughts and experiences.

Thank you for your thoughts and I will continue to be mindful of how I display what I've learned from my personal experiences.

 

[johnwester130]

I agree your appearance can be altered with diet and correct supplementation, stress free living and correct light exposure.

 

[Lecarpetron]

Symmetrical faces are very important to humans. Look at people in high school. It's all about how cute your face is. Girls tell each other "OMG you're so pretty!" or they fight with each other precisely because of one having a more symmetrical face. Look at celebrity culture. People love nice faces.

Besides symmetry, general craniofacial development contributes to what we perceive as attractive, with relatively broad faces and forward jaw position being the main indicators.

Look at the faces in Nutrition and Physical Degeneration. Even faces from different ethnicities look very similar (and "good") when facial bones are fully developed.

 

[javin]

This is not how I've perceived any of the information that Neil has taught me. I have been able to find more happiness, positivity, and authenticity within myself from his guidance; as a result I've built better relationships with people than I ever thought was possible. I believe everything we learn can be perceived based on our own thoughts and experiences.

Thank you for your thoughts and I will continue to be mindful of how I display what I've learned from my personal experiences.

That's good. I suppose Neil's advice could be taken in a myriad of ways. I've just had a negative connotation toward that author because he seems to support gender roles/stereotypes and his views come off as sexist. That and all the guys I personally know that love that book are egotistical slobs. However that's only been my experience on the matter. If you're genuinely trying to make an emotional/spiritual connection with another person, then all is good. :)

 

[Velve921]

That's good. I suppose Neil's advice could be taken in a myriad of ways. I've just had a negative connotation toward that author because he seems to support gender roles/stereotypes and his views come off as sexist. That and all the guys I personally know that love that book are egotistical slobs. However that's only been my experience on the matter. If you're genuinely trying to make an emotional/spiritual connection with another person, then all is good. :)

There are certain people that read his material and are not in the proper mindset to truly understand his message. I read his first book before learning from Dr. Peat and I initially interpreted his material as tricks on how to mislead women. However, after going through Dr. Peat's wisdom and reading the book 'Miracle Morning' I found a better perception of life which changed my mindset. In 'Rules of the Game' Neil gives wisdom, affirmations, and missions to teach an individual of how to understand the environment and how to connect with people better socially; however, with learning his wisdom the wrong person can use this mindset with manipulation. But then again, he will state that life is generally about manipulation in some way for people to achieve what they desire. The number 1 change that Neil has taught me is to smile as much as possible and the world around me will improve :)

 

[Constatine]

What is a reasonable amount of vitamin A? And wouldn't 15'000 IU of vitamin D be a lot?

A reasonable amount of vitamin A would be around 1000 ui. The vitamin D dose is really not that large and there will be no side effects if you take vitamin A and K with it.

 

[lollipop]

to smile as much as possible and the world around me will improve :)

This.

 

[Quality]

Also you can just become good looking. Your facial appearance is very reflective of you health and changes all throughout adulthood. To great degrees when one drastically changes their lifestyle.

Have to disagree with you there, you cant just alter face shape by increasing health.

 

[Gl;itch.e]

There are certain people that read his material and are not in the proper mindset to truly understand his message. I read his first book before learning from Dr. Peat and I initially interpreted his material as tricks on how to mislead women. However, after going through Dr. Peat's wisdom and reading the book 'Miracle Morning' I found a better perception of life which changed my mindset. In 'Rules of the Game' Neil gives wisdom, affirmations, and missions to teach an individual of how to understand the environment and how to connect with people better socially; however, with learning his wisdom the wrong person can use this mindset with manipulation. But then again, he will state that life is generally about manipulation in some way for people to achieve what they desire. The number 1 change that Neil has taught me is to smile as much as possible and the world around me will improve :)

Don't worry about Javin. I'm sure he is a natural with the ladies!

 

[BastiFuntasty]

It's media which makes you believe you are ugly and the small headed ones out there who bully everyone who's not mainstream.
I can feel your pain, all this has destroyed so much time in my youth. I tried so hard to change, but it's still a creepy shadow lurking within me. Physical changes did not help me, I'm still not happy with what I am.
In my opinion only mental training will rly change your own view of yourself, at least it does for me.

 

[Constatine]

Have to disagree with you there, you cant just alter face shape by increasing health.

I personally have altered my face structure via nutrition. I also notice people's faces alter all the time (and not just skin or water retention). Androgens seem to have the most powerful effect in morphing facial structure though, or at least that is what we often see due to anabolic steroid abuse. Just look at barry bonds's facial structure before and after steroid abuse (or any celebrity for that matter). People find certain faces attractive because it is a reflection of hormonal profile, general health, and what not. You can even determine a person's personality fairly accurately by examining their face (this is done naturally and subconsciously). If such health conditions change then over time so will the face. Also in my opinion the best way to change your opinion of yourself is to increase neurosteroids, reduce serotonin, and increase dopamine. I know this is a very scientific approach to a personal problem but it does help.

 

[JCastro]

Hey bud, CBT didn't work for me either (2 years of it) but don't be discouraged. You really have to make a holistic change, be willing to change everything you are doing for this problem. And I know you have been at this for a long time, and that makes it even more discouraging, but once you figure everything out things can *click* change like that.

I read your other post about your health...and agree with the poster there about low calcium. Are you eating any calcium? You really need a lot for skin and hair health (of course with enough Mg as well). 1000mg per day is MINIMUM, and I think Ray says up to 5g is good. Magnesium, maybe supplement with the glycinate form, 400mg or more per day. Also, vitamin E 400-800 IU, continue the zinc.

Are you sticking with the diet, high calories, high nutrition? Despite how ***t you feel, maintaining a healthy diet is of utmost importance. You're 22, 132 lbs, 5'11...how much protein are you getting? 80-120g per day is needed for someone like you, or more if you're exercising. You'll just waste away more if you're not feeding enough nutrition. Do you use Cronometer.com? I use it every day to check nutrients.

Ray, in one year, was able to lift his face from sagging to firm with 4000mg pregnenolone per day. I wouldn't recommend that dose but if you tolerate it, can you take 50mg a day? That will help. Have you tried red/infared/incandescent lights in your home? You can sit in front of/under them as you go about your business which will promote healing of your skin and hair. I also heard a caffeine/aspirin solution rubbed on skin or hair will heal/promote growth. Paleness has always decreased my confidence and highlighted all my facial imperfections so suntanning or finding a way to increase tanning/tone, safest = best

But really...my hair was like straw from calcium deficiency among other things. At 19 I know what it's like to feel elderly. I was also scared of dairy but finally jumped right in after months of no progress. Try lactose-free if you want or just supplement calcium if you really can't tolerate it. Again 1000mg+! I'm filling that deficiency for 16 days now and my hair is 40-50% better. And this is after 4 years of dandruff, hair falling out, thinning, drying, nothing "conventional" working. Also, a solution of baking soda, apple cider vinegar, and coconut oil rubbed into my hair and scalp helped. For your scars and acne, maybe try using coconut oil as a facial rub. Aloe vera reportedly is very good for scars. And if you're going to try something, stick with it for a while, even if you're not seeing fast results might as well make a healthy habit.

For the attitude part...just working on posture and attitude can do wonders, and if you see progress from nutrition that will enhance it further. Always remember guys like Thom Yorke, Benedict Cumberbatch, odd ("ugly") faces but with charm and they are considered heartthrobs. Donald Trump has an orange face, redness, wrinkles, probably some broken blood vessels, bloated, but is able to love himself, so the world is his oyster.

A health-life "guru" guy I know promotes scraping your face with a dull razor (dermaplaning)

 

[LUH 3417]

I think a lot of people on here have a good point. Just like Chinese face reading - certain characteristics are fortuitous while others are undesirable. I would say yes all humans are beautiful - because beauty is pleasant, strange, mysterious, and lots of other things.
It is unanimous though that wide faces with broad cheekbones and good chin to nose angle is very attractive.
I too believe faces change over time. Your cheekbones can become more or less prominent (I've noticed this on myself) but I don't think it will change to some great degree. I've never actually seen plastic surgery that improved peoples looks substantially, and I'm sure there are some negative aspects of it on a cellular level.
pulling out your teeth will most likely lengthen your face so try to avoid that at all costs. There's much about mewing, face exercises etc to change bone structure. Some of this stuff can really drive you crazy if you spend too much time reading it. Personally I would take someone with a great personality and sense of humor and avg looks any day as compared to someone who is super hot and dull. My boyfriend has some acne and I find it cute in a way. Also I've never met anyone extremely good looking and also interesting. My mom was super model status when she was younger and all she's ever talked about or judged people on is looks. She's very uninteresting. I could be generalizing here but for the most part hot people are really into their hotness and are not that much fun to do anything with besides look at.

 

[Miggie]

I personally have altered my face structure via nutrition. I also notice people's faces alter all the time (and not just skin or water retention). Androgens seem to have the most powerful effect in morphing facial structure though, or at least that is what we often see due to anabolic steroid abuse. Just look at barry bonds's facial structure before and after steroid abuse (or any celebrity for that matter). People find certain faces attractive because it is a reflection of hormonal profile, general health, and what not. You can even determine a person's personality fairly accurately by examining their face (this is done naturally and subconsciously). If such health conditions change then over time so will the face. Also in my opinion the best way to change your opinion of yourself is to increase neurosteroids, reduce serotonin, and increase dopamine. I know this is a very scientific approach to a personal problem but it does help.

This is very true atleast for myself. If i look back at pics before anabolic steroids and now its day and night. People from high school don't even recognize me anymore.

 

[InChristAlone]

Ugly people find love all the time! You need to look in the mirror everyday and say I love you. No matter what you look like you have to love who you are. So many people struggle to like themselves.