How to be seen as the "alpha male" sorta guy other than with looks?

[BearWithMe]

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[Nomane Euger]

I only hang with people who don't care about that and focus on being of service. Unless forced by circumstances.

Hi what do you mean by being on service?

 

[Hugh Johnson]

Hi what do you mean by being on service?

Being of service to others. Or nature etc.

 

[Nomane Euger]

Being of service to others.

do you value being in service of others independently of the reasons and intentions the person do it?do you consider someone being in service of others valuable even if this person has not reach a near optimal well being her self?

 

[Hugh Johnson]

do you value being in service of others independently of the reasons and intentions the person do it?do you consider someone being in service of others valuable even if this person has not reach a near optimal well being her self?

Intention matters. "It is the love with which you do things that radiates, not the things themselves." And so on. But even a selfish person can be nice to deal with if he realises his own interests are best served by contributing to others. In fact, in my mind self interest is truly best served by service to others.

Even capitalist business seeks to serve the customers. And that moderates the selfish motives.

Basically seeking to do good. Even a kind tone of voice to the cashier matters.

 

[BearWithMe]

Intention matters. "It is the love with which you do things that radiates, not the things themselves." And so on. But even a selfish person can be nice to deal with if he realises his own interests are best served by contributing to others. In fact, in my mind self interest is truly best served by service to others.

Even capitalist business seeks to serve the customers. And that moderates the selfish motives.

Basically seeking to do good. Even a kind tone of voice to the cashier matters.

You know what it means to be alpha, right?

Dominance hierarchy - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[BearWithMe]

Being alpha male doesn't have anything to do with doing good. In fact, the most notable alpha males of human history could be described as evil and did horrible things.

 

[Nomane Euger]

Being alpha male doesn't have anything to do with doing good. In fact, the most notable alpha males of human history could be described as evil and did horrible things.

Hi,how do you know what happened during most human history if you were not there over 100 years ago?

 

[BearWithMe]

But being alpha does't mean to be evil, either. It is just that our society rewards fked up behavior, which puts fked up people into alpha male positions.

 

[ironfist]

There's a difference between people who do nice things since they're nice people, and people who do nice things to gain themselves. You can FEEL the difference. One seems performative and gross. I know some "alpha" bros who are very nice when people are watching. These people are vile. They make big gestures and make sure everyone knows they are doing the nice thing. They have a nasty energy and aren't fun to be around even though everyone seems to love them. -- insert rant on most folks not being able to find people's real selves --

edit - no, I'm gonna do it anyway. It's like when there's some person who you can tell is nasty and unreliable and has a repulsive sensation about him, yet everyone seems to love them. And then you later find out they're convicted of murder or rape or drugs or fraud whatever and everyone is so surprised and you're like ARE YOU SERIOUSLY SHOCKED RIGHT NOW? This ******* piece of ***t, how could you not tell? And then you get pissed at everyone for being stupid and can't even stand to be around them but you're nevertheless pissed that you, who are actually a decent person (not a murderer/rapist/druggie/fraudster) can't get the same kind of attention and admiration, not that you'd want it, but it would be nice. And then you realize that the only reason you can tell is because of childhood trauma and many people never were exposed to that and aren't hyper focused on other people. And you resist the urge to say I told you so.

Then just for fun, you're moreover great at identifying shady salesmen. Which, to be truthful, are basically the same kind of folks discussed with the above paragraph.

And you, moreover, are grossed out because it seems everyone either has their own creepy **** agenda or is just a selfish jerk. You can count on one hand the number of "good" colleagues you have, "good" meaning not narcissists, and not "nice guys," and no agenda, and not boundary pushers, who don't give to get, and who don't do things from a place of social reciprocity but rather because giving actually feels good. People who help you out because you are asking for help, not so they can hang it over your head in the future. People who don't litter. People who aren't annoying as f*ck just for fun. People who have real empathy. Not people who will screw you over the moment they can for their own gain. Having win/win as a thought pattern rather than "what can I get for myself?" As mentioned above, society rewards narcissism. Sadly.

 

[Hugh Johnson]

You know what it means to be alpha, right?

Dominance hierarchy - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

Yeah. And in humans, and primates in general, the alpha is the good guy that is appreciated by the people.

 

[BearWithMe]

Yeah. And in humans, and primates in general, the alpha is the good guy that is appreciated by the people.

Uhm no. I wish it was true, I really do. But it is not.

 

[IT'S OVER]

Uhm no. I wish it was true, I really do. But it is not.

so what it is then?

 

[BearWithMe]

so what it is then?

Power.

Unfortunately, it is much easier to gain power by force and violence rather than by being good and respectable person of moral values.

In a world where violence is endorsed, valued and celebrated (e.g. movies, music, games...), it is pretty much impossible to gain power and respect by being a "good guy".

Some people will understand and respect you, the majority will laugh at you and beat you down just for sh#ts and giggles.

The majority doesn't understand what moral values is. They mistake moral values for weakness, because they don't understand.

Trying to impress people with moral values is like trying to impress a monkey with scientific paper on quantum physics.

Ever wonder why the majority of women is so attracted to gangsters, thugs, drug dealers, bikers and criminals?

 

[Nomane Euger]

Power.

Unfortunately, it is much easier to gain power by force and violence rather than by being good and respectable person of moral values.

In a world where violence is endorsed, valued and celebrated (e.g. movies, music, games...), it is pretty much impossible to gain power and respect by being a "good guy".

Some people will understand and respect you, the majority will laugh at you and beat you down just for sh#ts and giggles.

The majority doesn't understand what moral values is. They mistake moral values for weakness, because they don't understand.

Trying to impress people with moral values is like trying to impress a monkey with scientific paper on quantum physics.

Ever wonder why the majority of women is so attracted to gangsters, thugs, drug dealers, bikers and criminals?

Hi boy, I live in the suburbs around Paris, the most respected people I know are not people who use physical violence often, they are extremely rarely physically violent.
they are respected because they have characteristics that manifest a higher degree of energy, quietness, boldness, strength, masculinity than most other people who live in that area, these characteristics are usually height ,width,masculature,a deeper voice,more fearlessness than most,social intelligence(good intuitions about what other feels)they are the most respected people even before resorting to physical violence.

The people who are more often physically violent are not the people who are the most respected where I live.
my next sentence is a serious joke: "moral values" don't exist, it's an invention of weak peasants to manipulate other confused peasants, and try to set themselves above them, peoples are not going to respect a barefoot / earthy **** of 1M 60 with jumped burlap pants,that smells of manure and beer, which proclaims " girls, look at my big virtues"

the majority of people I know who are heralds of "virtue", are weak people, and weak relative to the people in their area.

if we assume that women are so attracted to gangsters,thugs,drug dealers,bikers,criminals,is because they more likely make the woman feel better,and because they are perceived by women as having a higher degree of power than the herald of "virtue"weak peoples,wich in it self is a having a better value.

 

[BearWithMe]

Hi boy, I live in the suburbs around Paris, the most respected people I know are not people who use physical violence often, they are extremely rarely physically violent.
they are respected because they have characteristics that manifest a higher degree of energy, quietness, boldness, strength, masculinity than most other people who live in that area, these characteristics are usually height ,width,masculature,a deeper voice,more fearlessness than most,social intelligence(good intuitions about what other feels)they are the most respected people even before resorting to physical violence.

The people who are more often physically violent are not the people who are the most respected where I live.
my next sentence is a serious joke: "moral values" don't exist, it's an invention of weak peasants to manipulate other confused peasants, and try to set themselves above them, peoples are not going to respect a barefoot / earthy **** of 1M 60 with jumped burlap pants,that smells of manure and beer, which proclaims " girls, look at my big virtues"

the majority of people I know who are heralds of "virtue", are weak people, and weak relative to the people in their area.

if we assume that women are so attracted to gangsters,thugs,drug dealers,bikers,criminals,is because they more likely make the woman feel better,and because they are perceived by women as having a higher degree of power than the herald of "virtue"weak peoples,wich in it self is a having a better value.

You are perfect example of a person that's unable to distinguish between having moral values and being weak.

What you described is not a respectable person of moral values. It is the opposite, actually.

I haven't said "physical violence" even once in this thread.

Your response is based on completely incorrect assumptions.

 

[Nomane Euger]

You are perfect example of a person that's unable to distinguish between having moral values and being weak.

i am a bad exemple,i make a distinction, "moral values"do not exist, feeling and being weak relative to your context is a real phenomenon.

What you described is not a respectable person of moral values. It is the opposite, actually.

i did not described such thing, it does not exist

I haven't said "physical violence" even once in this thread.

i did not implyed that you said physical violence, you said"force and violence",

Your response is based on completely incorrect assumptions.

i shared my experience on this subject,the intend was not to oppose what you claimed based on unlegit assumptions

 

[BearWithMe]

i did not described such thing, it does not exist

You think it does not exist because you are unable to distinguish one.

 

[Nomane Euger]

You think it does not exist because you are unable to distinguish one.

the common sense that people attribute to "moral values" is wrong, there are no "values" which are only the result of "reflection", of "philosophy";
any "value" is always associated with a feeling, an intuition, which determines the affinity and the appreciability that the person has for the"moral value" due to his biological state. (biological state that is determined by environment, diet, stress, necessity, competitiveness, possibilities).

Most of what people think of as "value" isn't absolute value, just something that may have value in some contexts, and potentially no value in others.

I am personally very appreciated by the majority of the people I know and that I meet, and I am considered by many of them as a person with "moral values", this is not the case, I have little stress and I eat things that often make me feel high energy, so I often tend to be philanthropic, optimistic, funny,and a lot of peoples tend to confuse it with "moral values"

 

[ecstatichamster]

The question “How to be seen as an alpha male” is one that involves an assumption that being seen a certain way is a benefit.

When I lived in L.A., people would lease an expensive car they could not afford. So they could appear affluent and successful.

This is the answer to being seen as an alpha male. Simply live beyond your means in how you dress, your car, etc.

Of course, the better question is, how to become an alpha male? But that requires actual accomplishment.