Is It Harder For A Guy To Get A Girlfriend Then A Girl To Get A Boyfriend?

[sladerunner69]

Women tend to be the ones who raise the children, so I would have to disagree that they don't have much to offer aside from beauty. My wife grew two babies and painfully pushed those things out of her body. She didn't use her beauty to push those things out, that's for sure.



I think the OP was talking about getting a boyfriend/girlfriend. Funny how all the males were like "Yah women can have sex whenever they want" when sex wasn't even mentioned in the original post.

Next are you going to say that Girlfriends/boyfriends, significant others, husbands and wives don't necessarily have sex with each other?

I'm aware that other factors exist, loneliness for example, but sex is a pretty big one.

 

[schultz]

Next are you going to say that Girlfriends/boyfriends, significant others, husbands and wives don't necessarily have sex with each other?

I'm aware that other factors exist, loneliness for example, but sex is a pretty big one.

People sometimes date and don't have sex before marriage, though it doesn't seem to be very common anymore. So yah, sometimes girlfriends/boyfriends do not have sex with each other. Sometimes husbands and wives don't either, but that seems like a sad scenario in my opinion. Marriage and sex are almost synonymous.

 

[Donnea]

@sladerunner69 - not everybody is even looking for sex. For someone like me who has struggled with sex for most of my adult life, and an inability to orgasm, I can tell you that it isn't what I look for. Truth be told, sex to me has always been something that I have to do for someone else. And to not hurt their feelings, I pretend.
I bought into the whole "be honest", "tell him What you like and don't like", but that doesn't work. That is why so many women fake it. It isn't for their benefit, it is for his. With my last boyfriend I tried to be upfront and honest from day one, telling him that I don't orgasm, and that there is nothing that he does wrong, I just can't do it. It doesn't mean that I don't like it, I just can't get there. Instead of leaving it at that, it became an endless obsession of his, with apologies when I didn't orgasm. It becomes very stressful and makes me dread having sex. The pressure is on, and then I can't even enjoy it. So fake it and get it over with is the only solution. I have only had 4 partners in my life, but it has basically been the same with each of them, except for my x husband who would accuse me of not loving him. Having a rather high sex drive but an inability to orgasm has ruined sex for me because of the constant guilt toward my partner. Estrogen dominance is real. And it sucks.

 

[DaveFoster]

That's completely bokers and I see it said all the time.

Crazy women = random sex wirh multiple partners. Not the other way around.

Almost every psychological issue (depression, anxiety, schizoid) that predicted lower partner count in men led to a higher partner count in women.

Nice, pointing out the erroneous reverse causality.

 

[Sepulchrave]

@Sepulchrave - I don't see that at all. I see that women often carry the larger burden in families.

That doesn't invalidate what I said. Raising families and related duties or just the functions of an animal.

"Women are directly adapted to act as the nurses and educators of our early childhood, for the simple reason that they themselves are childish, foolish, and short-sighted — in a word, are big children all their lives, something intermediate between the child and the man, who is a man in the strict sense of the word. Consider how a young girl will toy day after day with a child, dance with it and sing to it; and then consider what a man, with the very best intentions in the world, could do in her place."

-Schopenhauer

 

[alywest]

In general, men are not as shallow as women. They don't care what career you slave away in.

.

 

[cyclops]

To meet your other half:

 

[LUH 3417]

That doesn't invalidate what I said. Raising families and related duties or just the functions of an animal.

"Women are directly adapted to act as the nurses and educators of our early childhood, for the simple reason that they themselves are childish, foolish, and short-sighted — in a word, are big children all their lives, something intermediate between the child and the man, who is a man in the strict sense of the word. Consider how a young girl will toy day after day with a child, dance with it and sing to it; and then consider what a man, with the very best intentions in the world, could do in her place."

-Schopenhauer

Wow thank god for Schopenhauer. If I remember correctly with my feeble female mind getting the actual baby out of the womb also required the assistance of a woman...but only for several thousand years of course.

 

[mayweatherking]

True, generally women don't have much to offer besides beauty; they believe this themselves that's why women are usually the most shallow and invest so much time/resources on makeup/hair/heels/attire and their fake personalities. However once their beauty fades their worth becomes very low. So as they age their value decreases. Men who make good decisions like you say gather wisdom, networth, skills and all the like and therefore increase in points.
I hear many 40 year old women because desperate, some go crazy and become cat ladies.

men also go through the same thing.........

 

[Badger]

How so? Never heard of cases of "cat gentlemen."

men also go through the same thing.........

 

[LUH 3417]

How so? Never heard of cases of "cat gentlemen."

My dad bought a really expensive care when my mom stopped wanting to sleep with him.

 

[LUH 3417]

Car not care.

 

[mayweatherking]

How so? Never heard of cases of "cat gentlemen."

men lose a ton of value as they get older, same as women, and are extremely shallow too

 

[Badger]

Men lose a ton of value as they age? In what ways? I disagree. Men don't lose value when they get older but they increase it. It depends on variables they focus on cultivating or attaining. While the most obvious are looks - requiring men take care of themselves, keep the weight down, etc. - looks are much less important for older men than they are for women who are pursued by men, who put the most value on appearance. Unlike younger men typically, older men have acquired social status, which is an outcome of having connections, social savvy, experiences, business acumen, and character. Closely related to this and an outcome of it is they have more money - often lots more - than younger guys. But its not just social/economic status. They are also calmer than when they were younger, that is, older men are much less affected by insults and slights given to them by women and others. Their self-confidence has significantly increased from their younger days. It has grown from dealing with life over more time than younger guys have, and older men have successfully weathered many more storms of life. Plus typically older men are much less involved with the pump/dump belt notch-making activities of younger guys, so women tired of the dating game and looking for stability/commitment have a much better chance of getting this with an older men. Also, older men are simply more masculine, which is a real issue now when so many millennial men have become de-masculinized and feminized.

These things mentioned above all comprise traits in older men that, in my observations and that of others, are very valued by and attractive to, women, and which they typically can't get from the men their own age. Of course, the above assumes the older men in question are successful, not losers and failures. One can notice wide disparities in 3rd world cultures between the age of older men and the much younger women they often marry, it's common and no big deal in such cultures. Same in pre-modern cultures. Read Barbara Tuchman's "A Distant Mirror," a splendid history of late Medieval France. She shares many examples of older aristocrats marrying teenage girls (with age disparity of 10 or more years), and no evidence anybody gave a bleep about it at the time.

Women's optimal value is different and emerges at a different period of time in women's life than it does for older men. It's very tied to their looks and available window of procreative capacity. When younger, women are prettier/thinner and much more capable of producing healthy children. Such women are very highly valued by men of all ages. Once they get older and their looks diminish and the procreational window gone or more compressed, their value to all men goes way down. I've seen it many times women finding this out the hard way when they put all emphasis on career before marriage and a family. They do career first in their 20's, and when ready for marriage and kids by late 20's or early 30's, they reached an age where their looks have diminished, as they find themselves competing with younger, prettier women for an ever-more-finite pool of quality men, and the clock has gone against them for children at the same time.

men lose a ton of value as they get older, same as women, and are extremely shallow too

 

[pimpnamedraypeat]

Wow thank god for Schopenhauer. If I remember correctly with my feeble female mind getting the actual baby out of the womb also required the assistance of a woman...but only for several thousand years of course.

Women needed other people to pull the baby out?

 

[LUH 3417]

Women needed other people to pull the baby out?

I mean there are the rare cases of the women going to the river by herself and giving birth. These could be fairy tales as they're usually fringe stories regarding Native Americans or women in Africa but yea traditionally women were the first and only birth attendants until after the Middle Ages and even then there were so many laws around modesty and seeing a naked female body that except for big cities female midwives attended most births. Also the state of obstetrics is pretty sad in the US and midwives are definitely the minority.
https://faithgibson.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/Tension_20thCent-_OBs_Mfry_Nov2007.pdf

 

[pimpnamedraypeat]

I mean there are the rare cases of the women going to the river by herself and giving birth. These could be fairy tales as they're usually fringe stories regarding Native Americans or women in Africa but yea traditionally women were the first and only birth attendants until after the Middle Ages and even then there were so many laws around modesty and seeing a naked female body that except for big cities female midwives attended most births. Also the state of obstetrics is pretty sad in the US and midwives are definitely the minority.
https://faithgibson.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/Tension_20thCent-_OBs_Mfry_Nov2007.pdf

I don't think they're fringe. Women can give birth by themselves they do it all the time

 

[LUH 3417]

I don't think they're fringe. Women can give birth by themselves they do it all the time

 

[LUH 3417]

I agree with you but I also don't know any women personally in America who have given birth alone. I've read some blogs where women choose to do it as a form of protest against medical interventions and they get a lot of slack for it. There are also some YouTube videos but the comments are quite hateful and people call these women irresponsible baby killers (even if all goes well).

Michel Odent is a French obstetrician who believes that leaving women alone actually allows them to go into a state of lowered awareness and allows a "birth reflex" to kick in. That's why I think women have better results with midwives...they basically sit around and wait just in case. Or the midwife can do a few maneuvers if things aren't progressing as planned.

 

[mayweatherking]

Men lose a ton of value as they age? In what ways? I disagree. Men don't lose value when they get older but they increase it. It depends on variables they focus on cultivating or attaining. While the most obvious are looks - requiring men take care of themselves, keep the weight down, etc. - looks are much less important for older men than they are for women who are pursued by men, who put the most value on appearance. Unlike younger men typically, older men have acquired social status, which is an outcome of having connections, social savvy, experiences, business acumen, and character. Closely related to this and an outcome of it is they have more money - often lots more - than younger guys. But its not just social/economic status. They are also calmer than when they were younger, that is, older men are much less affected by insults and slights given to them by women and others. Their self-confidence has significantly increased from their younger days. It has grown from dealing with life over more time than younger guys have, and older men have successfully weathered many more storms of life. Plus typically older men are much less involved with the pump/dump belt notch-making activities of younger guys, so women tired of the dating game and looking for stability/commitment have a much better chance of getting this with an older men. Also, older men are simply more masculine, which is a real issue now when so many millennial men have become de-masculinized and feminized.

These things mentioned above all comprise traits in older men that, in my observations and that of others, are very valued by and attractive to, women, and which they typically can't get from the men their own age. Of course, the above assumes the older men in question are successful, not losers and failures. One can notice wide disparities in 3rd world cultures between the age of older men and the much younger women they often marry, it's common and no big deal in such cultures. Same in pre-modern cultures. Read Barbara Tuchman's "A Distant Mirror," a splendid history of late Medieval France. She shares many examples of older aristocrats marrying teenage girls (with age disparity of 10 or more years), and no evidence anybody gave a bleep about it at the time.

Women's optimal value is different and emerges at a different period of time in women's life than it does for older men. It's very tied to their looks and available window of procreative capacity. When younger, women are prettier/thinner and much more capable of producing healthy children. Such women are very highly valued by men of all ages. Once they get older and their looks diminish and the procreational window gone or more compressed, their value to all men goes way down. I've seen it many times women finding this out the hard way when they put all emphasis on career before marriage and a family. They do career first in their 20's, and when ready for marriage and kids by late 20's or early 30's, they reached an age where their looks have diminished, as they find themselves competing with younger, prettier women for an ever-more-finite pool of quality men, and the clock has gone against them for children at the same time.

What’s The Average Age Difference In A Couple?

i see your point, but imo, it's individual.. men and women alike can both take care of themselves or not take care of themselves, and that will reflect their desire to the opposite sex.. i don't agree with generalizing the entire thing, at the end of the day, if there's something you want or don't want in a partner, you can work to get that