Should I Stay In A Non-peat Relationship

[Arrade]

You want some sprite for that thirst?

his thirst is more respectable than Op's orthorexia about PUFA.
Like another poster said, why not take Vit E on occasion? Are you trying to live to 100 on simply coconut oil and rice?
Good luck finding a 20 something woman who doesn't consume fast food and copious amounts of alchohol

 

[SuperiorFatties]

I would definitely ditch her, she seems crazy with all her cheese and eggs. You should consider dating men instead, since they tend not to cook for you.

 

[Runenight201]

There are plenty twenty something women who are good girls, don’t drink, take care of themselves, etc...but they’re not going to be found at your club or bar on a Saturday night.

I’d rather be single then be in a relationship with a girl who would be upset if I didn’t eat her food that made me feel bad. If she wants to feel like she’s taking care of OP, make food that he finds completely acceptable, problem solved.They can still eat meals together, I don’t understand why they have to eat the same thing. She can eat her interesting, creative, tasty food, leave OP to his “boring” diet that makes him look, feel, and operate at his best.

 

[Arrade]

There are plenty twenty something women who are good girls, don’t drink, take care of themselves, etc...but they’re not going to be found at your club or bar on a Saturday night.

I’d rather be single then be in a relationship with a girl who would be upset if I didn’t eat her food that made me feel bad. If she wants to feel like she’s taking care of OP, make food that he finds completely acceptable, problem solved.They can still eat meals together, I don’t understand why they have to eat the same thing. She can eat her interesting, creative, tasty food, leave OP to his “boring” diet that makes him look, feel, and operate at his best.

Well a woman that cooks like that is going to want her man to eat it... you wouldn't love gardening then be with someone who refuses to eat the vegetables. Unless she started to cook for a living it wouldn't change

His boring diet consists of pretty much nothing, not sure how he even gets enough minerals or micronutrients. She couldn't fit anything into that diet, unless it was sculpted from coconut oil

 

[Gadsie]

Well a woman that cooks like that is going to want her man to eat it... you wouldn't love gardening then be with someone who refuses to eat the vegetables. Unless she started to cook for a living it wouldn't change

His boring diet consists of pretty much nothing, not sure how he even gets enough minerals or micronutrients. She couldn't fit anything into that diet, unless it was sculpted from coconut oil

I was exaggerating, with my optimal diet. I would eat curry with lean meat and coconut milk, or mashed potatoes with veggies and meat, nasi, stir fry. But yes also a lot of milk and OJ.

Thanks for all the insight everyone. I’m not really considering breaking up over this, but it remains something that’s bugging me a little every day.

 

[Jennifer]

I find it so cool that she cooks for me and also takes my wishes into account, but at the same time deep down I really just wanna eat a diet of rice, skim milk, oj, a bit of chocolate and pretty much nothing else.

Gadsie, have you ever told her this? It wouldn't surprise me if cooking for you is a way of showing her love for you so I would think if she knew how you felt, she would be understanding.

 

[Ulysses]

Gadsie, have you ever told her this? It wouldn't surprise me if cooking for you is a way of showing her love for you so I would think if she knew how you felt, she would be understanding.

Depending on how much she cooks for him, she might actually be happy to hear that he's satisfied with such simple food. It means less effort for her.

 

[zewe]

I would definitely ditch her, she seems crazy with all her cheese and eggs. You should consider dating men instead, since they tend not to cook for you.

Thanks for the great big belly laugh!

 

[Jennifer]

Depending on how much she cooks for him, she might actually be happy to hear that he's satisfied with such simple food. It means less effort for her.

LOL True!

 

[catan]

I can relate. I’ve been experimenting with different ways of eating since my 20s and have always found it problematic that my partners have a totally different way of eating.

I’m in my mid-30s now and have been able to compromise in my latest (also 9 month old) relationship. We both cook and I eat what he cooks for us with gratitude. He eats food I don’t eat and I eat food he doesn’t eat and we just respect that. We go out to eat maybe once a month and I try to make the best choice possible given the restaurant. It is hard enough to find a compatible partner and then being able to have a loving relationship, the pros of that outweigh a little PUFA imho. Actually I don’t find it too difficult, just try to stay low fat as possible when dining together, and have vit E if not.

I think now I generally look for a person who prioritizes his health and is also open-minded and somewhat skeptical, so he is at least open to listening to me talk about Peaty ideas and skeptical to mainstream recommendations.

 

[thomas00]

uh-oh sounds like it's time to find a Peat Approved Girlfriend® on PeatsList.

If she can't make it to 2g of PUFA daily, ditch her...

just altered my tinder profile. getting way more hits.

 

[dreamcatcher]

uh-oh sounds like it's time to find a Peat Approved Girlfriend® on PeatsList.





just altered my tinder profile. getting way more hits.

LOL

 

[Sourdoughbanana]

If you guys eat 100g of cheese and 30g of butter every single dinner it’s not a PUFA-related problem, but a high total fat problem. That’s a monster load of pro inflammatory acids you’re having.

That being said, you’re clearly not realizing what’s out there. Others have said before me - the standard girl in North Murica would outright laugh at you and want you to pay for her drinks and pizzas. Sit back for a bit and enjoy a low fat diet (all fats) with your awesome GF.

 

[walker_in_aus]

Everytime I thought I'd seen the dogma of "optimal diets" go too far, another thing comes along to prove me incorrect.

Mate, relax. I am an anti-vaxxer, pufa avoiding, sugar mainlining, blue light shunting, emf hating hippie who wants to live in a remove tiny house with my own greenhouse/aquaponics system and spend all my money on that fancy shielding fabric woman. I am married too a man who likes to eat KFC and laughs at me banning phone calls in the car and having icecream for lunch on holidays. We are exceedingly happy and have been for 10 years, despite my first 5 of depression, expensive dental visits and attempts at paleo ketosis.

Don't Sweat The Small Stuff.

 

[danishispsychic]

I cannot imagine my BF posting on a forum asking if he should break up with me because of PUFAs. ( head exploding )

 

[Lynne]

I’m going to go against the grain here, as I’ve pondered this deeply myself with future relationships, after viewing how sensitive I am to food and how I take careful consideration of everything I put into my body. Yes, I think it’s fine to cheat every now and then, but on a daily basis, I hundred percent am with OP where if I was in a situation where my significant other couldn’t understand my need to eat an incredibly fine tuned diet, and constantly creates food outside what id ideally like to eat, and then feel bad that I didn’t eat her food, she would ultimately have to go.

There are fundamental things we all look for in a relationship. Non-negotiable items that must be met, and then there are things that can be worked with. Relationships work when the non-negotiables mesh, and couples are willing to compromise on the negotiables. Food is a non-negotiable for me, and either SO meshes with my food paradigm, or she’s out.

OP, see if you can talk to your gf about expressing her love towards you in different ways. If she must cook for you, At the least, let her know that you would be much happier eating the food exactly how you’d like it. If she can’t get behind that, and she’s unhappy unless she can make the food her way, than ultimately your two sources of happiness in the relationship are at a contradiction and I don’t see how it can work out. It’s shitty, and sometimes love doesn’t always work out, but a mature individual recognizes what can and can’t be worked with, and makes the necessary choices for their betterment.

I agree with Runenight201. If she really loves you she'll respect and support your dietary choices. It's not hard, and it is about her. It's about her feeling good about feeding you and chosing that satisfaction over your choice to improve your health. Be honest and tell her how mportant this is to you. Tell her if she can't respect your choice that you'll start making your own food. You can't lose, either she'll take it on board or she'll leave. The former is most likely and if the latter then you'll know your relationship was not build on solid foundations and would eventually fail over some other issue anyway.

 

[tara]

Non-expert opinion in this field too. :)

If she uses coconut oil, butter, olive oil and cheese and leaves out the seed oils, and she's adventurous and loves cooking, then her style sounds at least as 'peaty' to me as yours. If the relationship is good on other criteria - you both enjoy each others company, conversation, have things you like to do together, values, etc, and you can resolve your other issues, then I'd be considering how you are going to keep her happy enough to stick around. :)

Unless this food issue is making you unhappy, in which case maybe you could see if you can negotiate a way that you could both be happy with? Have you tried? I don't know what would work - that depends on the two of you. Could be that she'd be happy not cooking for you quite so often as long as its planned ahead of time rather than disappointed after she's done the work, or including a bit less butter fat, or using combinations of butter and coconut oil that would suit you better, or some other solutions you two can think of? How much could you relax your 2g PUFA goal and still be happy? If you are going to try for resolving it, do it in a really friendly appreciative way, with no pressure. If you think she might be a good longer term mate, then finding a good solution that you are both happy with (not something she'll put up with to make you happy) is great practice for all the other times you'll want to solve problems together.

If you can't find a way you can both be happy with, then I guess that's your other option.

Btw, love is perhaps the most systemic protector there is. Nothing induces coherence in an organism with its environment like mutual love.

:)

Its called adults liking each other enough to care about cooperation more than being right

+1

Break up with her ASAP and then tell her lampofred over at raypeatforum.com doesn't mind eating 10 g of PUFA a day

I would definitely ditch her, she seems crazy with all her cheese and eggs. You should consider dating men instead, since they tend not to cook for you.

lol

I am an anti-vaxxer, pufa avoiding, sugar mainlining, blue light shunting, emf hating hippie who wants to live in a remove tiny house with my own greenhouse/aquaponics system and spend all my money on that fancy shielding fabric woman. I am married too a man who likes to eat KFC and laughs at me banning phone calls in the car and having icecream for lunch on holidays. We are exceedingly happy and have been for 10 years,

Congratulations. :)

 

[Herbie]

@Gadsie

Is the issue fundermentally to do with your freedom and independence? To do what you want, when you want, your way?

 

[Arrade]

If his avatar is him why not be single

 

[nwo2012]

I think the mental stress will age you quicker than the little extra PUFA. You should either accept the altered diet or if you cant then end the relationship. Because if you cant deal with the different eating now, you will argue like cat and dog if you ever have kids together and she wants them to eat her way. Btw macadamia nuts are Peat friendly and a good compromise as long as keeping overall fat reasonable.