Help Me Fall Out Of Love

[Aymen]

Hi Aymen,

WOW! Reading these words I penned four years ago is astonishing.

So to answer your question in a single word, NO. I no longer need advice on this topic.....I left that relationship, felt compelled to move on. It was one of the most excruciatingly difficult decisions I've ever had to make. Truly agonizing and yet quite revealing on so many levels.

However the story doesn't end there, many months later we reconnected. He expressed his agony from my absence and a real conversation began to take place.

He was much more open to listening and I was able to explain my view of life/biology through a Peat inspired lens. He got on board and we have continued the journey together. The physical results for him over the last 3 years have been nothing short of amazing. His labs have improved dramatically, blood sugar regulation is vastly improved, testosterone is way up, cholesterol (which was very high) is now normal, his mood/outlook is superb, his energy is great and he's filled with gratitude.

He's a very intelligent man, but I think his cognitive function has also improved.

We make a fabulous team and are inseparable, so we decided to get married. The End.

But thanks for asking!

Nice ending , yes it was 5 years ago , and old thread but i commented on it because i couldn't email you about it (you don't allow anyone to send you a message) .

 

[LUH 3417]

Perhaps, it's debatable. I'm certainly not trying to tell you or anyone else what they feel or don't feel, these are things that the individual has to come to their own conclusion on. All I'm saying there's scientific, evolutionary explanations for the so called feeling of "love". If it can be explained through the lens of evolution, then it begs to question is there really a higher purpose to the feeling of love, or is it just an innate response to the survival of our species. My original comment was more centered around mates and mating. However parental love for children could also be explained. There's nothing more crucial to the single organism then the survival of their genetics, and passing them on. So it would make sense that parents are fiercely protective and "loving" to their offspring, it is, in essence, the main purpose of life.

Then it appears to be a question of teleology...is evolution directed towards the development and blossoming of love? and is love a means to an end (survival) or an end in and of itself (warm fuzzy happy feeling)?

 

[TeaRex14]

Then it appears to be a question of teleology...is evolution directed towards the development and blossoming of love? and is love a means to an end (survival) or an end in and of itself (warm fuzzy happy feeling)?

I think that sums up the controversy. A controversy that will probably never end because it's subjected to different beliefs systems by the individual.

 

[ecstatichamster]

congratulations @thebigpeatowski

 

[DaveFoster]

Perhaps, it's debatable. I'm certainly not trying to tell you or anyone else what they feel or don't feel, these are things that the individual has to come to their own conclusion on. All I'm saying there's scientific, evolutionary explanations for the so called feeling of "love". If it can be explained through the lens of evolution, then it begs to question is there really a higher purpose to the feeling of love, or is it just an innate response to the survival of our species. My original comment was more centered around mates and mating. However parental love for children could also be explained. There's nothing more crucial to the single organism then the survival of their genetics, and passing them on. So it would make sense that parents are fiercely protective and "loving" to their offspring, it is, in essence, the main purpose of life.

Grünbaum asked his Primordial Existential Question: "Why is there something rather than nothing?"

Also, things have many layers of meaning. If I spill a cup of milk, and I cry over it, one may explain many ways due to which the cup fell. I hit it with my hand, and gravity ensued. Why did I hit it, though? I had a stressful week. Why did I have a stressful week? I hate my job. Why do you hate your job? Because I'm too cowardly to switch jobs. Why are you so cowardly? My father was cowardly, and I inherited his predispositions and also became like him. Why is your father cowardly? Because if he wasn't, he would have killed himself, as he was depressed. Why was he depressed? Because he spilled a cup of milk, short circuited his computer and destroyed all of his academic work.

Anyway, in the context of evolutionary biology, rationalism, like theism will justify any process, and it will base this on a theoretical benefit to reproduction. "Evolution has led to serial monogamy in some people, but pair bonding in others." Based on the dogma of Darwinism, it appears that there must be some respective advantage to each in either group of people. "In competent individuals, they prefer serial monogamy to propagate their genes, whereas in risk-averse individuals, they prefer pair bonding so that they can guard against the probability of resource loss." You can justify every process by relating it to some hypothetical advantage, and this evolutionary theorizing lacks falsifiability.

How about the fact that unrequited love leads to suicide and murder in many cases? "Love weeded out the weak: those who have respectively failed in choosing a mate or who lack the social or biological value to attract another, or, in the case of murder, those punished because of their infidelity."

What about when unrequited love leads to extreme reclusion and creative genius? "Love filled a necessary role, as it allowed for intelligence to free itself from monogamy and manifest itself in higher planes."

And when people forego love and becomes nuns and monks? "The collective advantages of certain individuals filling that role outweighed the evolutionary disadvantages."

Give me a scenario, and I'll give you an evolutionary justification.

 

[S.Holmes]

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