Narcissism

[fatmaaaa16]

Hi All

I’m trying to understand how to reduce narcissism within oneself and high ego; inability to rationalize being humble and having emotional reactions to “disrespect”.

I have this problem since I was young where I would feel “humiliated” easily and be unable to not react to it or “handle” it. I seem to sometimes be delusional in that I’m better than everyone (I hate this about myself, this is nothing I do intentionally and it hurts me and I have been co stipulated practicing IGNORING it but it is 100% still there.

I seem to care too much about how I look even when it’s not logical, be too embarrassed and want to never show weakness, essentially I suppose it’s fear. Irrational fear. I was somewhat raised that way, that I come from royal blood (which is true) and since very young always being told I’m better than everyone has apparently made me unable to lose that belief. Some days I am more empathetic, more humble, down to earth and wise(?). I don’t react to stupid narcisstic people and am able to easily separate that me not having a reaction or reacting to them isn’t a sign of weakened but strength. I guess I want to have more patience and a shorter fuse.

Things can be daily occurrences such as rude people on the street (I’m a woman and it’s usually other bitchy women) and I will get angry and come with a bitchy comeback but I don’t like this. I want to be above it because I genuinely believe this high ego is draining. I just want peace in my mind.

I have many health issues but honestly I’ve resolved them all now, essentially. However this is the one thing I can’t resolve. It sticks no matter what. I literally have to tell myself “that’s narcisstic” 24/7 in order to gather myself before doing an action that I otherwise would view as perfectly logical and the only possible response.

I guess I’m asking; what are the causes of this mental disorder of severe narcissism, high ego, being defensive when criticized….

I’m even ok with controlling my emotions now, but this constant narcissism is draining me.

 

[ThisWorld]

What's your diet and lifestyle like? Are the people you're around draining or uplifting?

 

[fatmaaaa16]

What's your diet and lifestyle like? Are the people you're around draining or uplifting?

I currently am living in a non ideal situation as I’m living with a cousin who is a horrible person and very depressing, but before this I lived alone and I still had these issues. I’m moving this month.

I was the worst I ever have been when living with my parents (severe bulimia for 8 years; amenorrhea; all kinds of mental Ilness) who are very negative and mentally unstable (I love them and they helped me a lot In life (maybe guilt?) but they admit they are unwell and have financially supported me to live alone since I was a teen as it made me get better),

Now I work in politics and it’s simply draining. The people I work can be uplifting but we’re all drained and stressed as it’s a high pressure job, very competitive and very demanding, and you keep going because it pays well. It’s basically working with royalty and aristocrats and everything is always last minute and urgent, looks very important, affording things or whatever (I don’t care as to me it’s not who I really am, just part of the job, so I treat “looks” as work but it’s when they no longer are that I identify this as narcissism). I can’t leave my job as it fulfills me and it’s my career now. I also do enjoy it.

I can take the pressure and stress as I have always been able to handle pressure regardless and the higher the expectation of me the better I do actually. (at least at work - maybe not in my health). But the narcissism I can’t take because it genuinely feels like it’s killing my soul, I’m a spiritual person and I literally can’t handle feeling like I’m beginning to have no soul or humanity. That’s the one thing I won’t accept no matter what. I would in fact be homeless and accept death if that’s how I have to live.

My lifestyle isn’t so bad, I’m always in good company, I do things I enjoy and I don’t have stress outside of work and i have the freedom to do what I like most of the time. I will under sleep at times on weekdays but not too much. Maybe 5 or so hours a night as I don’t have time to sleep more than that, but weekends I sleep 10+ hours a night.

 

[fatmaaaa16]

What's your diet and lifestyle like? Are the people you're around draining or uplifting?

My diet now is very low fat except coconut as high fat makes me depressed, tired and sleepy. Low fat medium protein and high carb makes me feel like a human. I don’t eat much and usually skip meals but this actually doesn’t affect the narcissism at all for me. Actually sometimes it seems eating makes me more narcisstic and an ego boost. Not eating or eating less humbles me (??). I have no appetite these days and usually just have breakfast and sometimes lunch, I drink a lot of black coffee since I was 15 (helps me be … smarter ? Do better?) smoke cigarettes as it makes me less emotional and helps me with excess emotions and emotional outbursts, stress, anxiety, fear

 

[Meta]

I was raised by in a household in which my father has/had NPD. I commend you for being able to recognise these behaviours and willing to change. My suggestion would be instead of trying to resist traits and behaviours, continue to recognise them and detach from them instead of identifying them as who "you" are. If you are spiritually inclined, self-inquiry will provide the stepping stones to help you recognise the ego as conditioning and begin to let go. There are also life changing interventions that will wake you up to reality much quicker if you decide to go that route. Just remember the greatest gift you can give someone is to be kind, this experience is temporary and love is your natural state of being.

 

[Elast1c]

Hi All

I’m trying to understand how to reduce narcissism within oneself and high ego; inability to rationalize being humble and having emotional reactions to “disrespect”.

I have this problem since I was young where I would feel “humiliated” easily and be unable to not react to it or “handle” it. I seem to sometimes be delusional in that I’m better than everyone (I hate this about myself, this is nothing I do intentionally and it hurts me and I have been co stipulated practicing IGNORING it but it is 100% still there.

I seem to care too much about how I look even when it’s not logical, be too embarrassed and want to never show weakness, essentially I suppose it’s fear. Irrational fear. I was somewhat raised that way, that I come from royal blood (which is true) and since very young always being told I’m better than everyone has apparently made me unable to lose that belief. Some days I am more empathetic, more humble, down to earth and wise(?). I don’t react to stupid narcisstic people and am able to easily separate that me not having a reaction or reacting to them isn’t a sign of weakened but strength. I guess I want to have more patience and a shorter fuse.

Things can be daily occurrences such as rude people on the street (I’m a woman and it’s usually other bitchy women) and I will get angry and come with a bitchy comeback but I don’t like this. I want to be above it because I genuinely believe this high ego is draining. I just want peace in my mind.

I have many health issues but honestly I’ve resolved them all now, essentially. However this is the one thing I can’t resolve. It sticks no matter what. I literally have to tell myself “that’s narcisstic” 24/7 in order to gather myself before doing an action that I otherwise would view as perfectly logical and the only possible response.

I guess I’m asking; what are the causes of this mental disorder of severe narcissism, high ego, being defensive when criticized….

I’m even ok with controlling my emotions now, but this constant narcissism is draining me.

The New Testament describes what you are experiencing as the flesh and the spirit. Paul wrote their is a law in the body that works against him. That which he wish he would do, that he does not do and that which he would not do that he does. So a desire to do righteousness but a lack of strength to do so perfectly (so at all). This is exhausting and the Psalms write about it. Christ specifically calls to people to give them rest who are heavy laden.

If you believe that Christ is morally the standard for perfection, then you can easily read the Pharisees as narcissistic rulers and also hypocrites. Christ is the only righteous potentate. He could necessarily doom everyone everywhere to the endless Lake of Fire for their disrespect and be in the right place to. When we see what He does in the New Testament I think we can see what total righteous and perfect conduct looks like in that despite the esteem and glory and power of Diety, Jesus still had mercy and gave freely of Himself to any who would trust in Him for their sins. According to the Bible, If you've fallen short you can grow in grace by having a relation to that standard of all righteousness which is Christ because His blood was shed for people to be saved from their self-righteous rags. The Bible makes a picture of the believers who are finally at the end, so I don't think ambition is evil at all ends because God makes a place for ambition of those who are being motivation of what God promised for believing in Him. I think that's human. Fearing what people think of you when God is viewing you as accepted is not reasonable.

Revelation 1 (KJV)
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
⁴ John to the seven churches which are in Asia: Grace be unto you, and peace, from him which is, and which was, and which is to come; and from the seven Spirits which are before his throne;
⁵ And from Jesus Christ, who is the faithful witness, and the first begotten of the dead, and the prince of the kings of the earth. Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood,
⁶ And hath made us kings and priests unto God and his Father; to him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.
⁷ Behold, he cometh with clouds; and every eye shall see him, and they also which pierced him: and all kindreds of the earth shall wail because of him. Even so, Amen.
⁸ I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty.

 

[angelina]

It's also possible that being raised by narcissist(s) can show up as what looks like NPD (and sometimes is), but are compensatory mechanisms. Most children of narcs will face this question at one time or another and wonder if they are narcissistic. Some co dependent personality issues can look very similar to NPD. If I were in your position, I would read and watch every book/video by Sam Vankin. You could also look further into co dependency (to rule in or rule out) by watching and reading things by Lisa Romano. Personally, Ollie Matthew's videos changed my life. I will caution that he is not for everyone. I needed the tough love, rough language, and cold water type of help for my co dependent issues. I love the advice given above by Meta.