Romance is stressful(Shaking from stress)?!

[LeeLemonoil]

I‘d second an Aspirin 300 or 500mg an hour or 45 min prior - reduces cortisol, raises testosterone and dopamine and reduces inflammation.
All of which either might reduce the anxiety a tiny bit, increase your attractivity a tiny bit and most importantly make you handle your situation a bit better.

Taurine a few hours earlier is also decent advice. GabaB-agonism and grounds you. Red Bull contains to little of it.

In any case it’s normal to be nervous even agitated when dating seriously. Don’t fret too much - be yourself with all your faults and strengths and if you establish a good rapport things will even out by itself.
For some guys dating has been ruined by pick up and „alpha male“ propaganda everywhere. Being needy certainly isn’t helpful, but being nervous is absolutely normal and fits the purpose. Most girls will find it sympathetic, even charming if they notice you are nervous and fine/natural with it. Just don’t make an issue of it.

Have fun and good luck with the girl!

 

[BearWithMe]

The cure to this is very simple.

Go out and interact with women so often you will basically numb yourself to it.

Once you get used to interacting with women, it will become completely normal, routine thing. Like turning on a light bulb or tying your shoelaces.

Do you have any emotional reaction to tying your shoelaces?

 

[Lee Simeon]

Good. British guys need to man up... Western men are generally pathetic these days. Keep going, stop batin'!

Pathetic, how?

 

[Waynish]

Pathetic, how?

Really? What percentage of men can even talk to a female they don't know these days? What percentage watch porn? What percentage can resist bending the knee to new cultural norms that are destroying their children? "Pathetic" is an extremely nice word for what modern western men have become.

 

[lampofred]

Ye, I'm hoping after the initial awkwardness it'll become just like hanging around family & friends. Don't know why I find it so hard dealing with stress though as it effects my ability to hold down a job. This is my main priority at the minute though

The initial awkwardness is the best part and is what makes you remember each other. Once that's gone it goes stale. A gf shouldn't feel like a friend, only friends should feel like friends. It shouldn't be a defensive awkwardness of course but a slight unfamiliarity that makes you want to present yourself well is a good thing. I think "just being yourself" is lazy, you don't want to lie or pretend to be someone you're not but you should make the effort to present your best self (not in a desperate way), not your ordinary self.

But that's only if you're hoping for something long-term, if just looking for something casual then that doesn't matter and it's just a numbers game. And any effort is actually counterproductive

 

[Lee Simeon]

Really? What percentage of men can even talk to a female they don't know these days? What percentage watch porn? What percentage can resist bending the knee to new cultural norms that are destroying their children? "Pathetic" is an extremely nice word for what modern western men have become.

What cultural norms are you reffering to?

 

[Waynish]

What cultural norms are you reffering to?

Acting weak, following women, watching porn, worshiping women, allowing children to cut off their sex organs & take hormones, socially distancing children with masks on during government-run education every day... They're pretty endless these days.

 

[Ben.]

Acting weak, following women, watching porn, worshiping women, allowing children to cut off their sex organs & take hormones, socially distancing children with masks on during government-run education every day... They're pretty endless these days.

acting weak is a result of a persons parental education, environment and experience. You can't say western men are weak, as if you could even comprehend the amount of men in the western world, let alone know each one of them individually.

with worshipping a woman which i assume you mean as in "being a simp" or "being a doormat" or "catering to her every need" is also a result of a lack of self esteme which has the similar origins as mentioned in the sentence above. Or in some cases it is just a very caring personaly type, which most people could only wish in having as a friend/partner.

cutting sex organs off or taking hormones are NOT norms by any stretch.

Wearing masks and social distancing is a global event, followed by even the toughest of men you could imagine so idk why that is even mentioned.

 

[BearWithMe]

acting weak is a result of a persons parental education, environment and experience. You can't say western men are weak, as if you could even comprehend the amount of men in the western world, let alone know each one of them individually.

with worshipping a woman which i assume you mean as in "being a simp" or "being a doormat" or "catering to her every need" is also a result of a lack of self esteme which has the similar origins as mentioned in the sentence above. Or in some cases it is just a very caring personaly type, which most people could only wish in having as a friend/partner.

cutting sex organs off or taking hormones are NOT norms by any stretch.

Wearing masks and social distancing is a global event, followed by even the toughest of men you could imagine so idk why that is even mentioned.

Have you ever been to Russia, Middle East, or even Eastern Europe?

 

[Ben.]

Have you ever been to Russia, Middle East, or even Eastern Europe?

I didnt visit thoose places, no.
But i have friends with these cultural backgrounds and have met their parents too and im aware of the differences in behaviour in comparison where i live. And they have a another whole host of other issues. I do not see these cultural differences as weakness or strength and the "weak western men" bashing on this forum seems to me to stem from personal "views", "taste" and "emotions" rather from an understanding of cultural, biological and psychological undestanding of the developement of a human being.

Don't hate the weak men, but the system/environment/history creating them. I feel like people literally despise weak men, but why? Why does it bother one personally? Sounds like a personal problem. And what defines "weak men" (rethorical question)?

A intelligent person would consider the possibility that the own perception may be wrong or that other personalities and behaviours are or may even be better depending on the circumstances.

---

Didnt mean to derail the thread.

more ontopic:

I agree with bearwithme. Doing it often enough, preferably in a freqent, shorter time window until the body/brain is not reacting that way is the probably the best teacher to get rid of the initial response of stress that dating causes. Wanting to be "liked" and wanting to appear attractive is a pretty normal and initially stressful experience for both genders trying to find a mate.

Like trying to swim for the first time, it is insanely scary but doing it often enough teaches the body that there is not much danger.

On another note, if you go out with a woman and do not feel or care for anything that is not good either. Its a basic response for oneself to know that this is important to you.

 

[BearWithMe]

Nobody in this topic hate on weak men. It seems like your own personal assumption based on your personal experiences maybe?

But anyways, it is not a personal issue.

Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. Weak men create hard times.

 

[Ben.]

Nobody in this topic hate on weak men. It seems like your own personal assumption based on your personal experiences maybe?

But anyways, it is not a personal issue.

did you miss the posts from waynish for example?

Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. Weak men create hard times.

If anything is a assumption than it is that.

 

[Lee Simeon]

Nobody in this topic hate on weak men. It seems like your own personal assumption based on your personal experiences maybe?

But anyways, it is not a personal issue.

Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. Weak men create hard times.

How does good times create weak men? Hard times can sometimes create strong men, but it can also break them.

 

[Frankdee20]

Personally, I hate being in relationships and only do it to gain access to sex... I have bad narcissistic qualities and I tend to hurt women a lot

 

[golder]

Personally, I hate being in relationships and only do it to gain access to sex... I have bad narcissistic qualities and I tend to hurt women a lot

Likewise. Not to absolve personal responsibility here, but I feel I did this the most when I was the most metabolically weak. I don’t see this an excuse, but as it’s improved so have my relationships.

 

[Frankdee20]

Likewise. Not to absolve personal responsibility here, but I feel I did this the most when I was the most metabolically weak. I don’t see this an excuse, but as it’s improved so have my relationships.

Perhaps some truth to that, and I just think for me, I make poor choices in women. They ultimately go out of there way to do things for me, but some personality traits I just can’t stand.... I also drink a lot and can be verbally abusive... They really should just legalize prostitution in New York. I don’t want to be bothered with the nonsense and drama... I do notice that when my GABA levels are higher, I can be quite nurturing and loving toward them.... but this doesn’t last long and then I’m an ***hole again

 

[Waynish]

Nobody in this topic hate on weak men. It seems like your own personal assumption based on your personal experiences maybe?

But anyways, it is not a personal issue.

Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. Weak men create hard times.

Look someone gets it :)

 

[Waynish]

acting weak is a result of a persons parental education, environment and experience. You can't say western men are weak, as if you could even comprehend the amount of men in the western world, let alone know each one of them individually.

with worshipping a woman which i assume you mean as in "being a simp" or "being a doormat" or "catering to her every need" is also a result of a lack of self esteme which has the similar origins as mentioned in the sentence above. Or in some cases it is just a very caring personaly type, which most people could only wish in having as a friend/partner.

cutting sex organs off or taking hormones are NOT norms by any stretch.

Wearing masks and social distancing is a global event, followed by even the toughest of men you could imagine so idk why that is even mentioned.

99% of Austrian, German, and Swiss men I've met are either in a "partnership" with their woman, unable to attract a woman, or working loads to keep up with her spending habits. Austrians are surely "western men." The rest of the above rationalizations I'm not interested in debating. If you know the direct cause of acting weak, then it doesn't make sense that you still rationalize (a weakness) this much. Wearing masks is followed by the toughest men I can imagine? Many people enjoy their slavery so who am I to try to take it from them or convince them to prefer freedom.

 

[Lee Simeon]

99% of Austrian, German, and Swiss men I've met are either in a "partnership" with their woman, unable to attract a woman, or working loads to keep up with her spending habits. Austrians are surely "western men." The rest of the above rationalizations I'm not interested in debating. If you know the direct cause of acting weak, then it doesn't make sense that you still rationalize (a weakness) this much. Wearing masks is followed by the toughest men I can imagine? Many people enjoy their slavery so who am I to try to take it from them or convince them to prefer freedom.

Its a mask lol, not slavery

 

[BearWithMe]

Its a mask lol, not slavery

Are you free to not wear a mask?