Wife w/Terminal Cancer Commits Suicide, Videos Show Husband's Abuse

[Regina]

Not every trending story is a psyop, especially not when the 'story' has documentation for events going back several years. And it wasn't trending in national media, it was just popping up in certain sections of twitter, typically battle-of-the-sexes type accounts.

While I don't know this couple in particular, I do know this dynamic. It's very real, very toxic. Personally, I think there was something off about their environment that led to 1) his intense rage and 2) her reoccurring breast cancer.

Just as it's not wise to take everything read about at face value, I don't think it's wise to assume that every store that pops up is a nefarious psyop.

Yeah. I get it.

If it's just as we saw it, then I think you are spot on about the actual environment being toxic.

 

[davidgraham]

Narcassist abuse is hell on earth. I lost everything to narcissistic partner home money kids etc. I started secrelty recording episodes of my ex wife and I conversations as I did not know what was real anymore. You feel you are doing everything wrong and take blame for everything. Even when physical abuse was involved I would think how weak and pathetic a man I was for it happening but I'd also justify the behaviour saying abuse is normal. It's absolutely horrendous when kids involved. The trauma etc.

I was healthy until 6 years into my relationship with my wife my body broke down. Constant fight or flight walking in egg shells, scared to make mistakes and so on. Not a way to live and the stress will eventually manifest it's way through physical illness.

 

[ursidae]

While I don't know this couple in particular, I do know this dynamic. It's very real, very toxic. Personally, I think there was something off about their environment that led to 1) his intense rage and 2) her reoccurring breast cancer.

I agree, mold is a possibility. Fascinating stuff

 

[EustaceBagge]

And just to be clear: The man was vindictive and used the court system to punish his wife. He could have just walked away and left them. He could have walked away and hired an intermediary to help with kids handoff if he wanted to share custody and didn't want to interact with his wife. Instead, he used hundreds of thousands of dollars to destroy his wife in the courts and take their kids away from her. I'm just excusing this. I'm just ... trying to understand what causes this toxic dynamic. I don't believe the "he's just evil" line. There's always a reason, there's always a trigger, there's always an explanation for the deterioration. And that's what I'm interested in. I'm not trying to absolve this man of his wrongdoings.

So basically we don't know the reasons for their behavior, and we are just speculating? Gossip.

 

[Jackson Chung]

Narcassist abuse is hell on earth. I lost everything to narcissistic partner home money kids etc. I started secrelty recording episodes of my ex wife and I conversations as I did not know what was real anymore. You feel you are doing everything wrong and take blame for everything. Even when physical abuse was involved I would think how weak and pathetic a man I was for it happening but I'd also justify the behaviour saying abuse is normal. It's absolutely horrendous when kids involved. The trauma etc.

I was healthy until 6 years into my relationship with my wife my body broke down. Constant fight or flight walking in egg shells, scared to make mistakes and so on. Not a way to live and the stress will eventually manifest it's way through physical illness.

I've been there. Know exactly how you feel. Luckily no kids, but when you are the sole earner and you support your family (parents/brothers/sisters as I was the only one with a good job) its easy for a women to take all the power and physically abuse you and you cant do anything about it. Don't feel pathetic about it. The system kills good people that work hard (men and women).

Its like having a gun towards your head all the time. If you try to defend yourself, your spouse can call the police and YOU will be arrested. I had to deal with the abuse and just put up with it. Verbal abuse nearly every day, threats of divorce (and losing a considerable fortune), being forced to get a degree for my wife (covid) and doing housework and working a full time job. I look at before and after photos and wow I went from a person that was physically fit, strong, handsome face, good hair to someone I didn't even recognize. I saw chin fat for the first time, I had a small gut (bad posture), I was 1 inch shorter from being afrraid all the time.

Like you I wrote eeverrything down, every day for a year. I recorded every minute of the last 6 months and made my escape plan. I finally escaped and after threatning human trafficking charges against her she settled for a small amount.

However no one in my foreign immiigrant community (I'm American but parents are not) believed me. Our reputation is damaged. Even now she wants to get back together and she's so good at gas lighting that sometimes I feel it was my fault! Never go back!

 

[Regina]

I've been there. Know exactly how you feel. Luckily no kids, but when you are the sole earner and you support your family (parents/brothers/sisters as I was the only one with a good job) its easy for a women to take all the power and physically abuse you and you cant do anything about it. Don't feel pathetic about it. The system kills good people that work hard (men and women).

Its like having a gun towards your head all the time. If you try to defend yourself, your spouse can call the police and YOU will be arrested. I had to deal with the abuse and just put up with it. Verbal abuse nearly every day, threats of divorce (and losing a considerable fortune), being forced to get a degree for my wife (covid) and doing housework and working a full time job. I look at before and after photos and wow I went from a person that was physically fit, strong, handsome face, good hair to someone I didn't even recognize. I saw chin fat for the first time, I had a small gut (bad posture), I was 1 inch shorter from being afrraid all the time.

Like you I wrote eeverrything down, every day for a year. I recorded every minute of the last 6 months and made my escape plan. I finally escaped and after threatning human trafficking charges against her she settled for a small amount.

However no one in my foreign immiigrant community (I'm American but parents are not) believed me. Our reputation is damaged. Even now she wants to get back together and she's so good at gas lighting that sometimes I feel it was my fault! Never go back!

"but when you are the sole earner and you support your family (parents/brothers/sisters as I was..."

I understand that this may be cultural and appreciate the noble qualities this may instill. It may also contribute to why you ended up with a narcissist in the first place.
All relationships have been transactional from the gitgo.

 

[Jackson Chung]

"but when you are the sole earner and you support your family (parents/brothers/sisters as I was..."

I understand that this may be cultural and appreciate the noble qualities this may instill. It may also contribute to why you ended up with a narcissist in the first place.
All relationships have been transactional from the gitgo.

Yes. You are right. I am an INFJ the protective personality. My ex wife lost her mother and had an abusive father. I still feel bad for her. I wanted to give her a good life. She took advantage of it. Yes people say I am selfless…it’s why I now avoid people. I seem to attract people that need my help. It’s hard sometimes.

 

[shucknchuck]

The man in question is exhibiting high serotonin, high estrogen behavior. Someone get this man some glycine and progesterone.

My read is the guy has rage problems, and an extreme vindictive streak, basically no moral categories other than "for me" and "against me", all being fair in love and war, moving mountains to avenge himself, "if Cain shall be avenged sevenfold, Then Lamech seventy-sevenfold", manifesting a certain feeling of Fīat jūstitia ruat cælum, "let justice be done though the heavens fall" etc., a twisted perversion of true justice. I appreciate your thoughts OP.

Thanks. He's definitely full of rage, but in a "beta" sort of way (don't like that word but not sure how else to describe it). Great references.

This is the wey

 

[Regina]

Yes. You are right. I am an INFJ the protective personality. My ex wife lost her mother and had an abusive father. I still feel bad for her. I wanted to give her a good life. She took advantage of it. Yes people say I am selfless…it’s why I now avoid people. I seem to attract people that need my help. It’s hard sometimes.

Yeah. Me too.
I keep getting new lessons in why discernment is so important.

 

[shucknchuck]

Yes. You are right. I am an INFJ the protective personality. My ex wife lost her mother and had an abusive father. I still feel bad for her. I wanted to give her a good life. She took advantage of it. Yes people say I am selfless…it’s why I now avoid people. I seem to attract people that need my help. It’s hard sometimes.

@Regina

I've heard wise councilors say that, until you heal certain pains and traumas, those betray signals in your attitude about yourself, that draws (like a magnet) people who unintentionally co-depend upon it, or narssicistically use it.

 

[Regina]

@Regina

I've heard wise councilors say that, until you heal certain pains and traumas, those betray signals in your attitude about yourself, that draws (like a magnet) people who unintentionally co-depend upon it, or narssicistically use it.

Yeah. Every vampire smells it a mile away.

It's anything from contractors, neighbors, "friends". Life partners of course. But it's that first list that we have to train ourselves to hold back AND move on quickly the moment you know. DO NOT ignore the red flags sailing over their heads.
I'm not saying to just be a selfish b****. There are people who need us and we can help without it being a sacrificial swap.

Trusting the whiff is key. Move on immediately without regret. This person has nothing to offer and is just a flesh-eater who will leave you sick.

 

[shucknchuck]

Yeah. Every vampire smells it a mile away.

It's anything from contractors, neighbors, "friends". Life partners of course. But it's that first list that we have to train ourselves to hold back AND move on quickly the moment you know. DO NOT ignore the red flags sailing over their heads.
I'm not saying to just be a selfish b****. There are people who need us and we can help without it being a sacrificial swap.

Trusting the whiff is key. Move on immediately without regret. This person has nothing to offer and is just a flesh-eater who will leave you sick.

Yes completely agree! Boundaries are poorly taught, by people with a lot of hurt themselves, and many fail to do good in the world from being over protective of their heart. the gut speaks the truth. The bible has a verse about feeling the Life of the Lord in the gut, and the literal Hebrew translation says "kidneys!" lol.

I think such a pain, is a good indicator, however, of some real traumas that we should deal with (with some trusted wise people). Kinda like a canary in the coal mine? nobody wants to watch a canary die - it is indeed a bad thing, yet that little bit of misfortune does a whole lotta good if we are constructive with the information!

 

[Regina]

Yes completely agree! Boundaries are poorly taught, by people with a lot of hurt themselves, and many fail to do good in the world from being over protective of their heart. the gut speaks the truth. The bible has a verse about feeling the Life of the Lord in the gut, and the literal Hebrew translation says "kidneys!" lol.

I think such a pain, is a good indicator, however, of some real traumas that we should deal with (with some trusted wise people). Kinda like a canary in the coal mine? nobody wants to watch a canary die - it is indeed a bad thing, yet that little bit of misfortune does a whole lotta good if we are constructive with the information!

Yes. In aikido we say, "where there's a gap; there's a slap."

The demons will see the gaps and have no breaks or apprehension stepping into them.
It doesn't mean armor up all the time though. Because when you are rigid and/or stiff, you're not going to feel the teeny shifts in the dynamic.

In Chinese medicine, the kidneys are associated with fear. So, it's the gift of fear.
Personally I feel it more in my heart and around the navel.

 

[Apple]

is it still RP forum or yellow press ?

 

[shucknchuck]

It doesn't mean armor up all the time though. Because when you are rigid and/or stiff, you're not going to feel the teeny shifts in the dynamic.

Yeah, I basically disagree with building walls of protection (except for immediate or extreme emergency cases), but rather pulling up the root, or core lie, that makes one susceptible to abuse or copes or other problems

if you want, check this out:

View: https://vimeo.com/433719476

In Chinese medicine, the kidneys are associated with fear. So, it's the gift of fear.
Personally I feel it more in my heart and around the navel.

interesting

 

[Regina]

Yeah, I basically disagree with building walls of protection (except for immediate or extreme emergency cases), but rather pulling up the root, or core lie, that makes one susceptible to abuse or copes or other problems

if you want, check this out:

View: https://vimeo.com/433719476



interesting

That was great! Thank you.
I'll enjoy listening to that again later this evening.

 

[shucknchuck]

That was great! Thank you.
I'll enjoy listening to that again later this evening.

so awesome

 

[Birdie]

Opinion on the case:

View: https://twitter.com/draytontiffanie/status/1668294398382166016?s=20

 

[Birdie]

Some thoughts on abuse, why it starts, why it's not immediately apparent, why it's not worthy of pity -

If one is brought up with abuse, then one can feel comfortable with abuse and not even recognize it when meeting an abuser. The abuser/narcissist will show at first wonderful behavior and may only occasionally lash out. The abused will be only confused when this suddenly happens, but find it so very familiar that the behavior is not identified as a warning.

I can't speak for men but I find that women who've been married to narcissist abusers began with high hopes. After the abuse becomes strong enough and they leave, they are haunted by the hopes and love they once had. The abuser isolates them from friends and family early on. So, when she leaves there is no support. She is confused about what happened and cannot lose the admiration she had for this man who was a fake. Her whole being is shattered by his rejection. He, on the other hand, finds another poor soul who will put up with his abuse, and spreads lies about his first wife.

When it comes down to it, it does not matter why the abuser ended up that way. A narcissistic mother? He's not the first. Did he watch another child in his family as that mother abused her driving her insane? Was he a favored child? So, did he end up like his mother? Looking kind and wonderful to the outside world? Some in this situation would be confused and pity the sister. Then, perhaps he would not become an NA himself.

There is a choice. It is never okay to become an abuser just because you were brought up by one.