Hi everyone, I lurk a lot but post very little. I do read enough to know that you lot are a very knowledgeable a helpful lot 
.
Some background: My life has been nothing but stress since I was about 7. When I was younger I dealt with that by completely detaching, feeling nothing, and interacting with people as little as possible. When I was a teenager, worked for an abusive woman and would do a very physical job in 90 degree heat for up to 14 hours a day with no food a little water for sometimes days at a time. (Not intentional, but I'd get up so early that I wasn't hungry, was never allowed a break there and would get home and just collapse from exhaustion, too tired to even think about eating). That destroyed my metabolism and health in general. When I was 18, some repressed memories surfaced and all hell broke loose. My familiar coping mechanisms no longer worked and I had no idea how to deal with emotions that I had been dead to for the last 11 years. My life turned into chaos which I will spare you the gory details of, but the main effect now is that I am far too sensitive and minor things can cause me days of stress and worry. Big stressors nearly cripple me. My life now is less chaotic and I'm very blessed to have a husband who is so zen I swear he was Buddha in a past life.
Early in my marriage, my internal chaos was at it's peak as I still hadn't dealt with the repressed memories, I was 19 and we had a baby and I had postpartum depression so severe, I was terrified of myself. I left him and he had a child with another woman during that time. We had every intention of divorcing and were apart for 3 years. Well, life is unpredictable to say the least and here we are together again. We have been together again for 3 years now and life with him is great except for one thing, his ex-gf, the mother of his other child. She is crazy and hell bent on causing us as much suffering as possible regardless of what it does to her child and that leads me to today's question.
My stepdaughter's mother withheld contact with us for 5 months even though we had previously been having her most of the time. That is only one on a long list of terrible decisions that hurt my stepdaughter. She also sued us for child custody during that time. I've been sick with worry for the past 7 months over this. I love my stepdaughter like she's my own daughter and her mom will destroy her if she wins. She already made her severely obese when she kidnapped her and feeds her nothing but McDonald's and chicken patties and other crap like that. She's 6 and weighs 10 lbs more than my 9 year old! (to make that even crazier, when we finally had her for a week after not seeing her for 5 months, she accused us of being responsible for her 15 lb weight gain!) When she comes back from her mom's house, she acts much younger than her age, but that corrects after enough time with us.
We had our first hearing yesterday. My entire gut felt like it was on fire and I had a headache so bad that even though I took enough aspirin to knock out a horse, it didn't even touch it. My heart was racing the entire 3 hours we were there and my temps skyrocketed and then crashed hard. The good news- we won primary physical and legal custody! It's only temporary though so we have more hearings to go to. I feel completely wiped out today, my gut is still churning, and my heart still feels like it's getting rushes of adrenaline. My diet's not perfect yet, but I'm getting closer and being better about eating more. I do feel a little better for the day to day stuff, but how can I strengthen my body to deal with our future hearings a little better? I'm currently on T3 and take vit E, K2, D, and magnesium. I also take aspirin and progesterone occasionally.
. Some background: My life has been nothing but stress since I was about 7. When I was younger I dealt with that by completely detaching, feeling nothing, and interacting with people as little as possible. When I was a teenager, worked for an abusive woman and would do a very physical job in 90 degree heat for up to 14 hours a day with no food a little water for sometimes days at a time. (Not intentional, but I'd get up so early that I wasn't hungry, was never allowed a break there and would get home and just collapse from exhaustion, too tired to even think about eating). That destroyed my metabolism and health in general. When I was 18, some repressed memories surfaced and all hell broke loose. My familiar coping mechanisms no longer worked and I had no idea how to deal with emotions that I had been dead to for the last 11 years. My life turned into chaos which I will spare you the gory details of, but the main effect now is that I am far too sensitive and minor things can cause me days of stress and worry. Big stressors nearly cripple me. My life now is less chaotic and I'm very blessed to have a husband who is so zen I swear he was Buddha in a past life.
Early in my marriage, my internal chaos was at it's peak as I still hadn't dealt with the repressed memories, I was 19 and we had a baby and I had postpartum depression so severe, I was terrified of myself. I left him and he had a child with another woman during that time. We had every intention of divorcing and were apart for 3 years. Well, life is unpredictable to say the least and here we are together again. We have been together again for 3 years now and life with him is great except for one thing, his ex-gf, the mother of his other child. She is crazy and hell bent on causing us as much suffering as possible regardless of what it does to her child and that leads me to today's question. My stepdaughter's mother withheld contact with us for 5 months even though we had previously been having her most of the time. That is only one on a long list of terrible decisions that hurt my stepdaughter. She also sued us for child custody during that time. I've been sick with worry for the past 7 months over this. I love my stepdaughter like she's my own daughter and her mom will destroy her if she wins. She already made her severely obese when she kidnapped her and feeds her nothing but McDonald's and chicken patties and other crap like that. She's 6 and weighs 10 lbs more than my 9 year old! (to make that even crazier, when we finally had her for a week after not seeing her for 5 months, she accused us of being responsible for her 15 lb weight gain!) When she comes back from her mom's house, she acts much younger than her age, but that corrects after enough time with us.
We had our first hearing yesterday. My entire gut felt like it was on fire and I had a headache so bad that even though I took enough aspirin to knock out a horse, it didn't even touch it. My heart was racing the entire 3 hours we were there and my temps skyrocketed and then crashed hard. The good news- we won primary physical and legal custody! It's only temporary though so we have more hearings to go to. I feel completely wiped out today, my gut is still churning, and my heart still feels like it's getting rushes of adrenaline. My diet's not perfect yet, but I'm getting closer and being better about eating more. I do feel a little better for the day to day stuff, but how can I strengthen my body to deal with our future hearings a little better? I'm currently on T3 and take vit E, K2, D, and magnesium. I also take aspirin and progesterone occasionally.
