No fap input and perils

[Herbie]

I've found if one wants to be successful, Its important to know what you want. The question is am I looking for a life partner/husband/wife?

If so than there is a danger which occurs. After some time on no fap it's common to get extremely aroused and in these states one may pursue sexual relations with people who you wouldn't normally pursue and end up doing and experiencing undesirable things, maybe even winding up in a disfunctional/codependent relationship, derailing life plans and goals, regret it, sleeping with someone's wife, disrespecting boundarys, knowingly take advantage of vulnerable women, lie, feel disgusted and cause harm to your self and others and delay actually finding or pursuing the life partner/husband wife.

It's like being drunk for days/weeks and having less inhibition and going with people who in your instincts know to not pursue.

I'm not religious but learning through experience and at this moment feel that random sexual encounters with poorly matched partners who I'm not fully attracted to and visa versa is destructive behaviour. But if you just want a huge motivation to get yourself out there than its probably the most effective thing around.

I've found no fap to be a paradox where not practicing no fap is actually an insurance which stops me doing in my opinion stupid things and allows me to focus on the mundane nesssary life things like learning a skill/art and developing as a person and keep a logical and clear mind.

 

[Raw Egg Gnostic]

There is definitely something to this. It is powerful and that needs to be respected. It may help to think about it in terms of semen retention rather than nofap. If you break your steak you might as well do it in the way that has the lowest negative effect on your life.

 

[EustaceBagge]

I've found if one wants to be successful, Its important to know what you want. The question is am I looking for a life partner/husband/wife?

If so than there is a danger which occurs. After some time on no fap it's common to get extremely aroused and in these states one may pursue sexual relations with people who you wouldn't normally pursue and end up doing and experiencing undesirable things, maybe even winding up in a disfunctional/codependent relationship, derailing life plans and goals, regret it, sleeping with someone's wife, disrespecting boundarys, knowingly take advantage of vulnerable women, lie, feel disgusted and cause harm to your self and others and delay actually finding or pursuing the life partner/husband wife.

It's like being drunk for days/weeks and having less inhibition and going with people who in your instincts know to not pursue.

I'm not religious but learning through experience and at this moment feel that random sexual encounters with poorly matched partners who I'm not fully attracted to and visa versa is destructive behaviour. But if you just want a huge motivation to get yourself out there than its probably the most effective thing around.

I've found no fap to be a paradox where not practicing no fap is actually an insurance which stops me doing in my opinion stupid things and allows me to focus on the mundane nesssary life things like learning a skill/art and developing as a person and keep a logical and clear mind.

Why not do nofap and when the situation gets out of hand masturbate and restart? And I don't know how many people do nofap to get in a relationship, most people do it to fix their brains and dopamine receptors, not to get out there.

Also the whole "nofap" concept is stupid, it's a lifestyle, not a transitory phase lol. It's rooted in esotericism but I don't know how true the concept behind semen retention etc. is.

 

[Logan-]

Is There A Way To Safely Reduce Male Libido?

Is there a way to reduce a man’s libido without affecting his general well-being? I know Ray said that high estrogen causes "insatiable sexual interest"; but let's assume the man in question doesn't have high estrogen, and is generally healthy.

raypeatforum.com

Injaculation (Retrograde Ejeculation) As A NoFap Substitute

Maybe you didn’t read too much about it’s effects on addiction and dopamine. I’d like to try it soon, BTW I don't need to read more .. if you need to take a drug so you can keep on ejaculating that is only going to make more problems in the long run.

raypeatforum.com

 

[Herbie]

@EustaceBagge yeah thats what I meant when I said faping as an insurance against making poor decisions and as a balancer. I thought I'd write it down because see I've never seen anyone bring up this aspect of it.

Yeah and I'm unsure if semen retention is healthy.

 

[EustaceBagge]

@EustaceBagge yeah thats what I meant when I said faping as an insurance against making poor decisions and as a balancer. I thought I'd write it down because see I've never seen anyone bring up this aspect of it.

Yeah and I'm unsure if semen retention is healthy.

I think that if something is instinctual and very difficult to resist, there is either an underlying issue that needs to be addressed first, or your on the wrong track.

Since peating I've had less trouble building muscle, but I also have less sexual urges. My libido is good but it's not rampant and hard to control. So when people make a cult out of self-discipline I find it unreasonable, it is as if self-torture is glorified. The periods where I used to masturbate 3+ times a day where all when I was highly stressed as a teen.

So unless your a sex addict, nofap shouldn't be very complicated or take 50% of your willpower to do.

 

[Herbie]

@Logan- insatiable sexual interest means unable to satisfy which means that someone who has sex and orgasms is never satisfied and needs more and more. This is relevant for a nymphomaniac not someone who is purposfully refraining from any sexual activity despite strong libido.

I wasn't asking for advice or not looking for a problem to solve, just musing about an aspect of no fap which I haven't seen anyone bring up before.

 

[Herbie]

I think that if something is instinctual and very difficult to resist, there is either an underlying issue that needs to be addressed first, or your on the wrong track.

Since peating I've had less trouble building muscle, but I also have less sexual urges. My libido is good but it's not rampant and hard to control. So when people make a cult out of self-discipline I find it unreasonable, it is as if self-torture is glorified. The periods where I used to masturbate 3+ times a day where all when I was highly stressed as a teen.

So unless your a sex addict, nofap shouldn't be very complicated or take 50% of your willpower to do.

I've done no fap for 6 months but I think if you can't refrain for a week then that may be a sign of underlying issue but I think most healthy people would get a bit overwhelmed building up after a week but at some point people just adapt to not doing it.

Yeah the cult is all based around shame and probably stems from religion. I found the concept and claims interesting and was curious as to what it was like.

 

[EustaceBagge]

I've done no fap for 6 months but I think if you can't refrain for a week then that may be a sign of underlying issue but I think most healthy people would get a bit overwhelmed building up after a week but at some point people just adapt to not doing it.

Yeah the cult is all based around shame and probably stems from religion. I found the concept and claims interesting and was curious as to what it was like.

Exactly, the expectations and anxiety cause you to relapse harder, or at least to waste a lot of unnecessary energy. Like you stated, 1 week for me is no problem rn.

 

[Sphagnum]

Whenever I’ve read any in depth piece on semen retention, opposed to simply “no fap,” there is always the aspect of taking that stored sexual energy and transmuting/repurposing/transferring (whichever word best suits the true intent, I’m not positive.)

That transferring of the energy has always been the key purpose from what I’ve read, and would theoretically address the issue in the opening post completely.

 

[shucknchuck]

I am religious so I’m biased.

There is a book by an author I dearly love, who assistant-pastors a very popular church, and has seen angels and demons his whole life. His collective experiences point to 3 major causes for a demonic assignment to succeed in your life:
Lack of quality relationships,
Lack of play,
Lack of rest.

He has seen all sorts of seemingly impossible addictions go away with that.
Now, he’s authored this book for Christian’s, so presumably there are a lot of lies out of the way, and a heart open for the Lord to work, but nevertheless he says these are 90% of the reason for a stronghold to sustain in a person. He said another 5% is because of unforgiveness and bitterness.

I’ve personally had a ton more success when I’m just hanging with guys a few times a week, and one of those times we share where our heart has been hurt the most or a thing we’ve struggled with — no condemnation but encouragement to see ourselves “in newness of light” (bible).

relationships, rest, and play, are definitely historic factors to healthy society that is totally lost in the west today.
I think anyone can agree with this.

 

[Herbie]

@Sphagnum I'm aware of it but it's a religious practice which I'm not religious and not sure if it's healthy.

I wrote in the post that semen retention actually makes me less focused on things which people want to achieve in transmutation and makes all of my attention go to chasing women and thinking about it as if that's all which matters but it's not. I know people are looking to problems but I wanted to share my experiences.

 

[EustaceBagge]

Whenever I’ve read any in depth piece on semen retention, opposed to simply “no fap,” there is always the aspect of taking that stored sexual energy and transmuting/repurposing/transferring (whichever word best suits the true intent, I’m not positive.)

That transferring of the energy has always been the key purpose from what I’ve read, and would theoretically address the issue in the opening post completely.

This is my experience as well, but worded differently: Nofap will only work if your not lustful while on it. That means the energy is not being wasted. Otherwise your just constantly trying to keep lust under control which is a sign of bad transmutation.

I am religious so I’m biased.

There is a book by an author I dearly love, who assistant-pastors a very popular church, and has seen angels and demons his whole life. His collective experiences point to 3 major causes for a demonic assignment to succeed in your life:
Lack of quality relationships,
Lack of play,
Lack of rest.

He has seen all sorts of seemingly impossible addictions go away with that.
Now, he’s authored this book for Christian’s, so presumably there are a lot of lies out of the way, and a heart open for the Lord to work, but nevertheless he says these are 90% of the reason for a stronghold to sustain in a person. He said another 5% is because of unforgiveness and bitterness.

I’ve personally had a ton more success when I’m just hanging with guys a few times a week, and one of those times we share where our heart has been hurt the most or a thing we’ve struggled with — no condemnation but encouragement to see ourselves “in newness of light” (bible).

relationships, rest, and play, are definitely historic factors to healthy society that is totally lost in the west today.
I think anyone can agree with this.

This is amazing. The lack of rest is very apparent, but the lack of play is Imo even more difficult to address. When I'm stressed nothing is really fun anymore, except vices which tire you eat even further.

 

[Mossy]

I've found if one wants to be successful, Its important to know what you want. The question is am I looking for a life partner/husband/wife?

If so than there is a danger which occurs. After some time on no fap it's common to get extremely aroused and in these states one may pursue sexual relations with people who you wouldn't normally pursue and end up doing and experiencing undesirable things, maybe even winding up in a disfunctional/codependent relationship, derailing life plans and goals, regret it, sleeping with someone's wife, disrespecting boundarys, knowingly take advantage of vulnerable women, lie, feel disgusted and cause harm to your self and others and delay actually finding or pursuing the life partner/husband wife.

It's like being drunk for days/weeks and having less inhibition and going with people who in your instincts know to not pursue.

I'm not religious but learning through experience and at this moment feel that random sexual encounters with poorly matched partners who I'm not fully attracted to and visa versa is destructive behaviour. But if you just want a huge motivation to get yourself out there than its probably the most effective thing around.

I've found no fap to be a paradox where not practicing no fap is actually an insurance which stops me doing in my opinion stupid things and allows me to focus on the mundane nesssary life things like learning a skill/art and developing as a person and keep a logical and clear mind.

Aristotle would agree with with your measure of success: “Those who wish to succeed must ask the right preliminary questions.” —Aristotle.

Your list of dangers, I'd say, are valid ones, and ones that are worthy of concern; and ones which anyone would consider and struggle with who is attempting to be successful—to do good and fulfill something in the right way.

My first answer would technically be a religious one, though a very practical one; and so practical you could simply imagine an old sage, or someone you respect, saying it and it could apply. Paul, in the New Testament, gives this answer to those struggling with the desire part: "...if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (1st Corinthians 7:9). Maybe that didn't solve anything, but just repeated what you were saying. At the very least, it confirmed that this has been a struggle for people for eons; and sometimes the right answer is simply the practical one.

Now, that still leaves the great challenge of choosing the right partner. You seem to have the right perspective, in desiring to do what's right (e.g. wanting to avoid destructive behavior, taking advantage, lie, etc.), and to choose wisely (e.g. no drunk pursuits, developing as a person, keep a logical and clear mind.). Apart from the religious (destiny) aspects, I'd say you're positioning yourself best you can. Generations and generations of people who have gone before us have believed God brings people together. Whether you decide to put faith in God for that, is up to you.

 

[dukesbobby777]

As a single person I do it once per week. Girls do it as well. There's this focus on men all the time (and how guilty we should feel), but women do it as well.

It's not an inherititantly bad thing. I personally believe in it being a healthy thing (draining your stagnent fluids), as long as it isn't done too much. And if you just don't do it at all, the body will take matters into its own hands and force it (wet dreams).

All I notice by not doing it is better energy (for sure), but also irritability and mood issues. And all the hobbies/interests/activities in the world makes little difference to that for me, anyway.

 

[shucknchuck]

I want to add that in Christianity, there is not agreement as to whether masturbation is a sin or not.

There are some very pure people I know, who have never looked at porn, nor did they fantasize about another, while masturbating. I don’t believe they have anything to worry about.

But, I’ve noticed (given my background of porn and masturbation for coping), that even if I do masturbate without anything lustful, it is still happening in that coping context that has been ingrained in me — I’m gaining nothing when that happens — every time it has lead to porn use later.

So, modest masturbation is either a never, or at best, down-the-road option, for most people with a past with porn (even having a past that was screwed up and taught one since childhood to look for escapes, will have profound impacts).

As always, I encourage solid counseling from the wise.

 

[shucknchuck]

@EustaceBagge

Same, It’s been confirmed in my life quite a lot.

I actually got a video game and payed for the first time since high school, and it has been sorta enlivening.

Yes, when I’m stressed out, the only thing that helps me is vice.

There are other things I have had to grow in as well, specifically to reduce stress, like being very present minded — this made it easier to engage, with the ability to find joy and healing in simple truths. I can’t neglect play, rest, or relationships, but there is no other way around other needs that resolve that principle problem of stress, and it’s only found in our Maker, with prayer and worship.

 

[Waynish]

There have been celibate monks for centuries at least. This is a real testament to how lost these "male communities" (*uhmm-gay*) are. Why not investigate just once how those before you achieved it? It is a spiritual practice, not a physical or biological or will power practice. But you don't even believe in the spirit... Only like .00001% of those online talk about it as if they have direct perception of it - about the same as the % in real life. Even if you don't know which exact method is legit, then you can still attempt to follow in the footsteps of greater men. If he doesn't literally have supernatural abilities, then he probably doesn't know as much as he is claiming to know... At least follow Christ, Buddha, and/or Muhammed. How is that not a bare minimum?

"I just don't want to touch myself" - well that is a very low bar, just stop being a pervert.

 

[EustaceBagge]

There are other things I have had to grow in as well, specifically to reduce stress, like being very present minded — this made it easier to engage, with the ability to find joy and healing in simple truths. I can’t neglect play, rest, or relationships, but there is no other way around other needs that resolve that principle problem of stress, and it’s only found in our Maker, with prayer and worship.

I agree. In a way stressing out over minor things is almost like a sign of bad faith, not trusting in God and His plan.

Philippians 4:6 - Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

And I don't agree about the part that video games are a vice, if not overdone, unless I misunderstood.

There have been celibate monks for centuries at least. This is a real testament to how lost these "male communities" (*uhmm-gay*) are. Why not investigate just once how those before you achieved it? It is a spiritual practice, not a physical or biological or will power practice. But you don't even believe in the spirit... Only like .00001% of those online talk about it as if they have direct perception of it - about the same as the % in real life. Even if you don't know which exact method is legit, then you can still attempt to follow in the footsteps of greater men. If he doesn't literally have supernatural abilities, then he probably doesn't know as much as he is claiming to know... At least follow Christ, Buddha, and/or Muhammed. How is that not a bare minimum?

A lot of wisdom here, appreciate it. Supernatural part is weird, unless genuine peace of mind also counts as one :).

 

[Herbie]

@Mossy unfortunately I cannot put faith in books but only my own experiences and even then I have to re exam things constantly because of constant change. I am not the usual case, I am independent and don't even have friends. I approached Ray's work with doubt but experimented with anything to see for myself. I am not personally struggling because I took a two year vow in sexual abstinence due a sacrifice I am making for a better future but wrote the post for others.

The problem with marrying instead of burning with passion is that it's not good to marry just for sexual satisfaction and this passion is short lived anyway, it's not real enough to rely on. The entire thing is walking on a tight rope between degeneracy and purity.