Childhood Abuse - How to Forgive?

[GermanTruther]

(19/M)

I‘ve been emotionally and physically abused by mother since I was a child. She wasn’t a bad mother over all, she did a lot to make me happy and I was taken care of.
Unfortunately, I think she’s mentally ill or just has a destroyed gut which made her unleash all her anger and frustration onto me.
I was severely emotionally tortured and insulted, made fun of and told I should have never been born etc.
The typical stuff a stressed parents tells their children. Also physically abused and basically grew up being scared when she’ll have another breakdown.
On top of this my parents divorced when I was 8.. so yeah imagine that, the only person who was always nice and chill (my dad) had to leave the house. Super traumatizing.
Funnily enough whenever I consume raw animal foods, my desire for revenge increases a lot and all i re-experience all the trauma in my head. Drank fermented raw milk yesterday and now all the memories come back.. this always happens.
My questions:

1. What causes a parent to physically and emotionally abuse THEIR OWN child?

2. Why does something like raw milk make me re-experience all the trauma?

 

[JamesGatz]

If I remember correctly - serotonin brings up bad memories and vice-versa I think - it's interesting - when I eat a food that is serotonergic I will remember all the bad memories I had with a person but when I eat a high dopamine food I will remember all the good memories with a person

 

[GermanTruther]

If I remember correctly - serotonin brings up bad memories and vice-versa I think - it's interesting - when I eat a food that is serotonergic I will remember all the bad memories I had with a person but when I eat a high dopamine food I will remember all the good memories with a person

What foods increase your dopamine personally?
That may actually be it, that the milk kinda upsets my gut. It’s A1 and conventional raw milk after all.

 

[Mauritio]

1. What causes a parent to physically and emotionally abuse THEIR OWN child?

2. Why does something like raw milk make me re-experience all the trauma?

Serotonin and other stress hormones, especially adrenaline. Traumatized people are often stuck in survival mode, that's why stellate ganglion blockade helps them (just google it).

You probably can't digest milk properly . Meaning you have bacterial overgrowth ,which the milk feeds ,creating more endotoxin ,which increases serotonin, which increases the trauma mindset /hormonal pattern.

 

[JamesGatz]

What foods increase your dopamine personally?
That may actually be it, that the milk kinda upsets my gut. It’s A1 and conventional raw milk after all.

Yea so the way I see it is it's intertwined so if you eat something hard to digest - gut serotonin is raised which results in the stomach upset which immediately results in the serotonergic increase in the brain if I remember correctly - so a clean gut generally helps a lot with htis

For me I would say the ones that have the best effects and make me see the best in people is gelatin, cocoa (darker chocolate but not too dark maybe about 50% or so), coffee, Orange Juice, pineapple is probably my favorite

Hans has a pretty good article on this:

17 Best Dopamine sky-rocketing Foods » TESTONATION

Motivation, focus, relaxed energy, confidence, drive and smarts are all easily obtainable with dopamine optimizing foods. We all want to feel great right? Live life at full capacity? Living life in a low dopamine state is like looking deflated while wearing an oversized shirt. Boosting dopamine...

men-elite.com

I do like to prioritize having a clean gut though because for me even if I am eating high dopamine - if my gut isn't clean it still results in serotonergic increase - for this I like eating pineapple to reduce endotoxin and then I do the carrot once a day but I do like pineapple a lot - raises my androgens nicely as well which does really good things with my mood

If you can get A2 milk where you are, I would try that because that works really well for me - I also eat cheese too without those troubling enzymes - that's also easier on digestion I feel

 

[Mauritio]

Something that really stuck with me is that Peat said when you're in good metabolic health,you can basically choose what youre thinking ,so working on that is probably the best bet to get out of the trauma-mindset.

 

[GermanTruther]

Serotonin and other stress hormones, especially adrenaline. Traumatized people are often stuck in survival mode, that's why stellate ganglion blockade helps them (just google it).

You probably can't digest milk properly . Meaning you have bacterial overgrowth ,which the milk feeds ,creating more endotoxin ,which increases serotonin, which increases the trauma mindset /hormonal pattern.

So would you recommend me stopping the raw milk consumption? It’s my only source of raw fat..

 

[GermanTruther]

Something that really stuck with me is that Peat said when you're in good metabolic health,you can basically choose what youre thinking ,so working on that is probably the best bet to get out of the trauma-mindset.

Yes, I really want this. I‘m basically on autopilot mode regarding what I say think and do. I want full control over my body.

 

[GermanTruther]

Yea so the way I see it is it's intertwined so if you eat something hard to digest - gut serotonin is raised which results in the stomach upset which immediately results in the serotonergic increase in the brain if I remember correctly - so a clean gut generally helps a lot with htis

For me I would say the ones that have the best effects and make me see the best in people is gelatin, cocoa (darker chocolate but not too dark maybe about 50% or so), coffee, Orange Juice, pineapple is probably my favorite

Hans has a pretty good article on this:

17 Best Dopamine sky-rocketing Foods » TESTONATION

Motivation, focus, relaxed energy, confidence, drive and smarts are all easily obtainable with dopamine optimizing foods. We all want to feel great right? Live life at full capacity? Living life in a low dopamine state is like looking deflated while wearing an oversized shirt. Boosting dopamine...

men-elite.com

I do like to prioritize having a clean gut though because for me even if I am eating high dopamine - if my gut isn't clean it still results in serotonergic increase - for this I like eating pineapple to reduce endotoxin and then I do the carrot once a day but I do like pineapple a lot - raises my androgens nicely as well which does really good things with my mood

If you can get A2 milk where you are, I would try that because that works really well for me - I also eat cheese too without those troubling enzymes - that's also easier on digestion I feel

Raw organic pineapple? At the moment I only have canned pineapple at home. Is that okay?
raw carrot lowers my androgens, digests bad.
do you drink raw orange juice?

 

[JamesGatz]

Raw organic pineapple? At the moment I only have canned pineapple at home. Is that okay?
raw carrot lowers my androgens, digests bad.
do you drink raw orange juice?

Canned I think is fine if it's not everyday - I do think that some of the metal is absorbed from the can given that the juice tends to be acidic - I do think raw, ripe pineapple is best in my view

If you get stomach ache from pineapple I would combine it with gelatin as well and possibly coffee because I do think it is slightly irritable to the gut lining and gelatin ensures that it stays intact

Yea - for raw carrot I do think it reduces androgens - What I do to minimize beta-carotene in it is I cut the outer skin off of the carrot and only consume smaller parts of the inner once a day - the effect is still there but it's slightly better in my view

most of the stuff i eat is store bought and not raw - In my city it is unfortunately difficult and is a lot of traveling to obtain this - I just go by feel - a lot of store bought stuff I react well to - maybe when I am rich I will have everything raw but experimentation is one's best friend in this case in my view

 

[GermanTruther]

Canned I think is fine if it's not everyday - I do think that some of the metal is absorbed from the can given that the juice tends to be acidic - I do think raw, ripe pineapple is best in my view

If you get stomach ache from pineapple I would combine it with gelatin as well and possibly coffee because I do think it is slightly irritable to the gut lining and gelatin ensures that it stays intact

Yea - for raw carrot I do think it reduces androgens - What I do to minimize beta-carotene in it is I cut the outer skin off of the carrot and only consume smaller parts of the inner once a day - the effect is still there but it's slightly better in my view

most of the stuff i eat is store bought and not raw - In my city it is unfortunately difficult and is a lot of traveling to obtain this - I just go by feel - a lot of store bought stuff I react well to - maybe when I am rich I will have everything raw but experimentation is one's best friend in this case in my view

I get canned because raw organic ones here are never ripe (at least in the major supermarkets). Canned also digests better for me.
I don’t know man.. is the raw carrot really necessary? It’s just one of those fiber rich foods where the bitterness taste has been bred out so people eat it and stay submissive. That’s the whole point of vegetables (and whole fruit actually).
In nature we’d never eat plants, we would some fruit, but not like it’s today eating 30g fiber a day ?
fiber lowers androgens.

In which city do you live?

 

[Mauritio]

So would you recommend me stopping the raw milk consumption? It’s my only source of raw fat..

Yes. I'm peating for 4 years now and I still can't digest milk. Its mucogenic and leads to hair loss for me. This is one of the few things I disagree with peat. I don't think milk is good for everybody. It depends on if you can digest it or not and that can change. It's very important that you find out how you react to certain foods . And have a list of safe foods that always work for you.

Yes, I really want this. I‘m basically on autopilot mode regarding what I say think and do. I want full control over my body.

Yes and you deserve this. Everybody deserves this. But you need a functional body/metabolism for that.

 

[GermanTruther]

Yes. I'm peating for 4 years now and I still can't digest milk. Its mucogenic and leads to hair loss for me. This is one of the few things I disagree with peat. I don't think milk is good for everybody. It depends on if you can digest it or not and that can change. It's very important that you find out how you react to certain foods . And have a list of safe foods that always work for you.

Yes and you deserve this. Everybody deserves this. But you need a functional body/metabolism for that.

Did you try (raw) A2 milk? Goats, sheep, horse, camel, donkey, buffalo..

Do you have full control over your body or are you still working towards achieving this goal?

 

[Braveheart]

(19/M)

I‘ve been emotionally and physically abused by mother since I was a child. She wasn’t a bad mother over all, she did a lot to make me happy and I was taken care of.
Unfortunately, I think she’s mentally ill or just has a destroyed gut which made her unleash all her anger and frustration onto me.
I was severely emotionally tortured and insulted, made fun of and told I should have never been born etc.
The typical stuff a stressed parents tells their children. Also physically abused and basically grew up being scared when she’ll have another breakdown.
On top of this my parents divorced when I was 8.. so yeah imagine that, the only person who was always nice and chill (my dad) had to leave the house. Super traumatizing.
Funnily enough whenever I consume raw animal foods, my desire for revenge increases a lot and all i re-experience all the trauma in my head. Drank fermented raw milk yesterday and now all the memories come back.. this always happens.
My questions:

1. What causes a parent to physically and emotionally abuse THEIR OWN child?

2. Why does something like raw milk make me re-experience all the trauma?

In answer to point one...ignorance...."forgive them for they know not what they do"...ignorance means you don't know your own mind...doesn't mean you are stupid....I am German...old German upbringing is really ******* tough...your story sounds familiar...American expression: "been there done that" The damage parents do to their children is heart breaking, but they don't realize what they are doing... and so I want to hate...but the answer is to realize they are destroying themselves and you should have pity on them...you are finally free from this ***t because you are awake and you realize and recognize all this...you are almost home free!!

 

[oldfriend]

I get something like this and personally think it's foods with high glutamic acid. It was especially bad when I was adding gelatin to everything. I stopped gelatin, eat gelatinous meats instead and only moderate protein and it's better now.

 

[LUH 3417]

In answer to point one...ignorance...."forgive them for they know not what they do"...ignorance means you don't know your own mind...doesn't mean you are stupid....I am German...old German upbringing is really ******* tough...your story sounds familiar...American expression: "been there done that" The damage parents do to their children is heart breaking, but they don't realize what they are doing... and so I want to hate...but the answer is to realize they are destroying themselves and you should have pity on them...you are finally free from this ***t because you are awake and you realize and recognize all this...you are almost home free!!

I don’t know whether it is healing to recognize but it’s absolutely true. Your mother missed out on the joy of motherhood, of loving a child. Realize you are not her trauma, and if you can get in touch with all the anger and pain and hate you feel, just imagine this woman and how much she hates herself, the intensity of her own misery, to not be able to love a child?

 

[Braveheart]

Yes, I really want this. I‘m basically on autopilot mode regarding what I say think and do. I want full control over my body.

Do it, you got it...you are smart enough to know what you want...half the battle has ben won!

 

[opethfeldt]

I didn't have a great childhood either. For me, the key to forgiveness is empathy. I had to realize that my parents were abused as well and that they were highly stressed while raising me so they didn't always do the best job making me feel valued and supported. Having lived a decent chunk of life now myself, I find myself struggling with the same toxic qualities, so it's easier for me to understand why they weren't always the most pleasant people to be around. My goal now is to transcend these tendencies, mostly by optimizing my health. When you're healthy and have low levels of stress, it's much easier to be a decent person. Anyway, I hope that this resonates with you and helps you have some compassion for them, as difficult as that may be.

 

[GermanTruther]

In answer to point one...ignorance...."forgive them for they know not what they do"...ignorance means you don't know your own mind...doesn't mean you are stupid....I am German...old German upbringing is really ******* tough...your story sounds familiar...American expression: "been there done that" The damage parents do to their children is heart breaking, but they don't realize what they are doing... and so I want to hate...but the answer is to realize they are destroying themselves and you should have pity on them...you are finally free from this ***t because you are awake and you realize and recognize all this...you are almost home free!!

It’s not their fault though. Our parents are also humans who fell into the game and lies of the elite. They’re victims themselves!

 

[Braveheart]

I don’t know whether it is healing to recognize but it’s absolutely true. Your mother missed out on the joy of motherhood, of loving a child. Realize you are not her trauma, and if you can get in touch with all the anger and pain and hate you feel, just imagine this woman and how much she hates herself, the intensity of her own misery, to not be able to love a child?

Yes, recognizing your problem is half the battle....So forgive and forget the anger, because your mother will carry her misery to the grave and that will be with you forever.....