HOW GAMING IS RUINING MY LIFE

[somuch4food]

A great metaphor I heard once was this:
Think of your normal brain state as a cucumber. Once you get addicted your brain (or rather a specific pathway in your brain) gets pickled. This pickle (the pathway) can never turn into a cucumber again. You can never really use the activity you were addicted to like a healthy, non-addicted person again.

This obviously is only a metaphor, so it is limited in its accuracy, but it is true for a lot of addictions.

That's mostly true until you break free of what was causing the addiction.

Yeh I agree except according to OP his life is good and has nothing to escape from.

His current life is good, but he has baggage that he can't seem to totally shake off which triggers his relapses. I was also always having a pretty good life despite my addiction because I was hiding my problems and putting on a mask in social settings. The addiction would show itself when I was by myself with my insecure mind.

 

[redsun]

That's mostly true until you break free of what was causing the addiction.



His current life is good, but he has baggage that he can't seem to totally shake off which triggers his relapses. I was also always having a pretty good life despite my addiction because I was hiding my problems and putting on a mask in social settings. The addiction would show itself when I was by myself with my insecure mind.

If baggage is his problem all he needs to do is drop the bags. Thats up to him if he wants to hold onto this things forever. He either drops it himself, or gets help from a professional.

 

[Kratos]

One thing that video games destroy is the adrenals, sitting down while getting your heart rate jacked up will slowly destroy an already sick person. Those flashing images will exhaust anybody.

 

[FrenchKiwi]

I have just read Marisa Peer's book entitled "You are enough" and I am amazed at how the simplicity of changing my inner dialogue and thoughts about myself affect my day to day mental and physical well being. Has anyone read this?

 

[Peatogenic]

If baggage is his problem all he needs to do is drop the bags. Thats up to him if he wants to hold onto this things forever. He either drops it himself, or gets help from a professional.

It feels appropriate that since this is a physiology savvy forum to correct you that trauma doesn't work that way. It dysregulates your system in a profound way and can create a kind of coding regarding triggers that causes your body/mind to have involuntary reactions. But not just towards triggers, even chronically. I didn't know any of that until I sought professional help, and then learned how to administer my own healing.

So yes, baggage has to be dropped, but the baggage is the dysregulated endocrine/nervous system, and has to be dropped slowly. My issue wasn't gaming, but I could involuntarily space out (dissociate) in my own way when faced with any stressor, large or small. When I untangled everything, I no longer had involuntary responses to stress/memories and was able to have control over my life, more neutral, complex, etc.

 

[redsun]

It feels appropriate that since this is a physiology savvy forum to correct you that trauma doesn't work that way. It dysregulates your system in a profound way and can create a kind of coding regarding triggers that causes your body/mind to have involuntary reactions. But not just towards triggers, even chronically. I didn't know any of that until I sought professional help, and then learned how to administer my own healing.

It depends on the person but yes it can work that way. I was fortunate enough to have the right mindset to deal with my own traumas. I self-studied about psychology a bit in order to understand it in order to deal with my own baggage. It took time but in my case it was enough for me.

I had more fortunate circumstances as I said along with the right mindset to help me out. You don't need to have professional help but most do need it. It also depends on severity of trauma as well and your own personality.

Nothing wrong with either route, and in some cases professional help is necessary and preferred.

 

[Peatogenic]

It depends on the person but yes it can work that way. I was fortunate enough to have the right mindset to deal with my own traumas. I self-studied about psychology a bit in order to understand it in order to deal with my own baggage. It took time but in my case it was enough for me.

I had more fortunate circumstances as I said along with the right mindset to help me out. You don't need to have professional help but most do need it. It also depends on severity of trauma as well and your own personality.

Nothing wrong with either route, and in some cases professional help is necessary and preferred.

Ok, what I've described is not in the realm of psychology. It precisely is not dealt with using the mind, but the body. The most progressive research on this acknowledges that it's a "bottom up" process. We are talking about different things.

 

[Artynoa]

How are you supposed to even attempt to integrate gaming into your life if you are still addicted to it? Because if your gaming sessions are never planned and always extend beyond their time that means you are still obsessed with it, your mind still think's it is scarce and is going to lose it. Funny how deprivation works. When people try to restrict something because they are told it is bad for them they do it. But this particular thing wasn't something they were even attached to that much at the start. But now once they decided they no are going to partake in it, suddenly they want it. They start craving and obsessing and thinking about this thing they cant have, doesn't matter how small or large it is. They become attached to this thing they stopped, and now they cave first time and stop cold turkey again. And just like that something that was just a normal part of their life not long ago is now an addiction they can't stop thinking about.

Well i have friends in „real“ world who did gaming their whole life , most of them are 5-10 years older then me .But as far as i know they game not that excessive as i do. I talked a lot with them about gaming and they told me that gaming longer than 2 or 3 hours makes them feel just tired and messy. They start forget things and get less motivation for doing simple things like cooking, laundry or cleaning. So they decided if they do gaming, then with a alarm clock on. What i want to say is: if they play longer then planned, they start feeling worse in health. They start be slower in „real life“, make more mistakes and need more time to get things done. Also they told me, that being at work and living life by going out with friends gives them more „value“ than gaming at home for hours. So does this mean that if they play longer than planned, they feel guilty and thats why they feel bad after the session? or does it mean that the designed game itself throwing them in a hamster wheel and putting them under hypnosis which results then in destroyed health? I dont know, its just feeling guilty of gaming and thats why i play 12 hours a day...this explanation is too easy for me.

Gaming is hedonism for you. You get pleasure out of it, its considered hedonism. You can also be addicted to something that is giving you pleasure. That is the case with you. But if you have guilt about gaming, this problem will never go away. Again I will restate my original post, you can't just let yourself be when you game or do this or that. You have thoughts in the back of your mind telling you how bad what it is your doing is and then you snap and give in and fall into a pit of never ending gaming.

living a life of hedonism in this modern western society - without doing harm to other people or yourself , is impossible. In my understanding hedonsim means you only do things which brings you pleasure. Gaming brings me pleasure, but also pain and chaos. The rule of hedonism is to avoid pain. Gaming 6 hours brings me pain and i feel afterwards like i drunk 2 bottles of wodka. Going for 6 hours a bike tour- i feel after that free and energetic and full of pleasure and motivation doing daily „western society“ stuff.

You can also try to evaluate your past and all that, which I personally think is a monumental waste of time. All it does is take you out of the present moment and stopping you from just being and keeps you stuck in your mind. The problem is your mind, and you desire for control. If you do this, do it with professional help, not on your own.

evaluating the past means exploring who you really are. Evaluating the past lets you understand why you think the way you think, why you talk the way you talk or why you behave the way you behave. Calling it a „monumental waste of time“ is in my opinion a monumental waste of thought. This thought makes a lot if big names in human history of psychoanalysis looks very ridiculous. The existence of the present moment is without the past not possible. The past decides who you are in the present moment. Ignoring this fact makes the human very naiv and helpless. I understand your thought about „just being“ and i like it. I like to „just be“ and let things happen and dont think about duties and consequences in life. But i think i would have to leave „modern civilization“ to survive this kind of being. Just be does not work in our world. Just be means to be free. And freedom is very rare in usa or germany or any other slave state.

but thank you for your comments. I still thinking a lot about your posts.

Video Game Addiction Treatment | Dr. Alok Kanojia | Healthy Gamer
Clinical experience with over a hundred gamers tells us that abstinence isn’t necessarily the best way to overcome video gaming addiction

thank you for the information @boris . This is interesting, i didnt know this guy, i already watched a few videos and he seems to know what hes talking about:) i will dive into that!

I see it that although the title is “how gaming has ruined my life”- it’s harder to say/acknowledge “how my abusive dad took my childhood” “how my critical mother crushed my soul” “how my pain has caused me to make choices that are in conflict with who I really am”.

I say this because focusing on the behavior doesn’t move towards wholeness.
It may stop the behavior; and replace it with something more accepting socially, less internally shaming- but I needed to look at myself/my story - not at my behaviors.
That got me nowhere time and time again (as the OP has also discovered).

Thank you for your comment @Peatful . Yes, you nailed it. Its funny how i chose that title. I thought too much about the title, maybe if i just wrote without thinking i could have got a better title, just let the fingers unconsciously flow:) wholeness is the most important thing for me. connecting the dots is a big art, and im thankful that i get so many responses on my post, because this helps me to get my "lens" clearer! I think all life on this planet is social based. Being socially active is multilinear- compared to a game. Of course gaming was invented through social interaction, but sitting alone in a room with a headset full of online friends... cant compare it to real life social activities. This gaming device is still a "dead" machine. sometimes I think the more time i spend with this machine , the more i transform to a "machine". Going out with friends, or just talking with humans lets me connect to who i really am. I am human. i am a highly complex bioreactor which loves to communicate with other bioreactors by sitting next to them, doing sport with them or going out with them. Maybe this dead devices are way more than Shame or Guilt. Maybe they are interfering with us in much more complex energetic layers and letting us do things that we don't "feel"...

I disagree here. Addiction can also be an escape. Personally, I was using TV, video games and mangas to escape my social anxiety/low self esteem. My compulsions would come and go, but whenever I felt stuck in real life, I went to those media to fill the void in my life. The thing that completely broke this cycle for me was having a kid. I now care a lot less about others and try to live my life. I no longer think I'm worthless.

This forum has become a kind of addiction though, but I need it to decipher my health problems (mental and physical) that I believe stem from inadequate nutrition and nurturing while growing up. It's more productive for me to obsess over health than games since I'm trying to overcome my problem instead of running away.

Thank you for your thoughts @somuch4food . Yes thats also what i think. i have the feeling that im hiding with my console in my dark room not because im ashamed or guilty -but because i think "**** this world!". "**** this job, **** the people ,**** my father ,**** nutrition and **** everything because im going to destroy and rek some rivals here..." I feel rage and disappointment, i feel over sensible and overstimulated of "western society", i feel so angry and on the other side hopeless how some people (myself included) can only change with infinity effort... these kind of feelings makes me do what i do- makes gaming a self-destruction system.

A great metaphor I heard once was this:
Think of your normal brain state as a cucumber. Once you get addicted your brain (or rather a specific pathway in your brain) gets pickled. This pickle (the pathway) can never turn into a cucumber again. You can never really use the activity you were addicted to like a healthy, non-addicted person again.

This obviously is only a metaphor, so it is limited in its accuracy, but it is true for a lot of addictions.

That is a interesting metaphor @milkboi . im not hopeless... what about -instead of changing the pickles- replacing the cucumber with a carrot?

Yeh I agree except according to OP his life is good and has nothing to escape from.

Hm. Why do you say this? Do i need to be a refugee with 6 kids and 20€ in my pocket to feel pain and rage? do i need to be a 8 year young black kid digging for gold in African mines to feel angst? do i need to be an 70year old woman sitting in the 12th floor of bogotá's worst district alone in my flat and being panicked about getting robbed or shot while going just to supermarket? no human deserves these kinds of horrible circumstances. nobody. you can see that everybody has different problems. i have different problems but i am thankful for the life i have. But that is not enough for me, because i never will stopp ask questions to make my situation better.

His current life is good, but he has baggage that he can't seem to totally shake off which triggers his relapses.

Having a wonderful girlfriend and a own business- that doesn't mean life is good. At the beginning of this Diskussion i said that im living a "good western society life". I adapted to this system and i have someone with whom i can survive this "society". That is wonderful. But that doesn't mean my baggage or my past just dissapears. It is still here. The memories are crystal clear, as if theyre real in present. The memories are like a second shadow. The goal is to thrive with my partner. Because there is no limit for thriving.

If baggage is his problem all he needs to do is drop the bags. Thats up to him if he wants to hold onto this things forever. He either drops it himself, or gets help from a professional.

I don't want to get professional help because i have 1 year experience with talk therapy. At least not now, maybe sometime. But the goal why im here is to search for solutions to "drop the bags".

One thing that video games destroy is the adrenals, sitting down while getting your heart rate jacked up will slowly destroy an already sick person. Those flashing images will exhaust anybody.

Thank you @Kratos for your comment. I agree and i feel every time how much stress the virtual world is for the present body, sitting their and only moving the fingers. You are moving, running and shooting by acting only with your fingers, your eyes and ears- the rest of the body, the rest of the about 150 bones , 600 muscles or trillions of cells are sitting their in standby mode and getting attacked with a immens amount of stress form the nervous system. I mean wtf? this is one of the worst misbalances you can do to your body...the brain is locked in and the body just tries to understand wtf is going on. I think there is a mechanism where you can let the brain go and fly and jump and run around- and thats called sleep. i think sleep is the natural way of simulating virtual reality.

I have just read Marisa Peer's book entitled "You are enough" and I am amazed at how the simplicity of changing my inner dialogue and thoughts about myself affect my day to day mental and physical well being. Has anyone read this?

Thanks for the suggestion @FrenchKiwi . I didn't read it, but i saved it on my checklist!

It feels appropriate that since this is a physiology savvy forum to correct you that trauma doesn't work that way. It dysregulates your system in a profound way and can create a kind of coding regarding triggers that causes your body/mind to have involuntary reactions. But not just towards triggers, even chronically. I didn't know any of that until I sought professional help, and then learned how to administer my own healing.

So yes, baggage has to be dropped, but the baggage is the dysregulated endocrine/nervous system, and has to be dropped slowly. My issue wasn't gaming, but I could involuntarily space out (dissociate) in my own way when faced with any stressor, large or small. When I untangled everything, I no longer had involuntary responses to stress/memories and was able to have control over my life, more neutral, complex, etc.

Having no longer involuntary responses sounds really good to me. That is something i will definitly go for. Thank your for your thoughts @Peatogenic .

 

[cardochav]

I’ve notice that I was getting more migraines when I would indulge in video games, especially the highly invoked focus centric ones. Adrenaline was obviously the driving force during those games. I quite video games years ago and migraines have reduced again. If your looking at a screen and your heart rate goes up because of it then it’s prob not a good thing. There are several ways to play as an adult that aren’t video games just get out in nature and find them.

 

[unicorn]

''When your thyroid function is restored to normal, you can think what you want about things''

Where did Ray say that?

Thanks

I guess its because a person can then have the energy to 1) fight off bad thoughts and 2) the energy and power to think positively.

It takes energy to be mentally powerful...

 

[mipp]

One thing that video games destroy is the adrenals, sitting down while getting your heart rate jacked up will slowly destroy an already sick person. Those flashing images will exhaust anybody.

Interesting comment. I remember when I was still able to waste my energy on video games and how physically exhausting it became as I got older. Eventually I gave up, it was just too demanding but I still have a porn addiction which I think is doing more or less the same - constant overstimulation while sitting down. I always wondered how is it possible that I could work at the computer for hours and days without problems when an activity which should be relaxing sucks all the energy out of me in a few hours and takes longer and longer to recover from. This is a serious problem and it's more physiological than I though. Thanks for pointing this out.