23 yr man completely lost in life, advice from older men wanted

[pro marker]

ever since i was a kid i have been an outsider amongst outsiders. ive never had friends and ive missed out on my youth and wasted my entire life so far. i am very intelligent and artistic but also autistic and socially retarded. ive never had a friend and when i speak to people my age its clear i am extremely far behind. i might be 10 times smarter than them and more mature in my way of thinking but i dont know how to even hold a conversation.
after quitting school in 10th grade i have done nothing with my life. ive always had great dreams and aspirations but severe depression from 1st grade and every health problem imaginable has made those dreams unnatainable. 2 years ago i started my health journey and i have made an unbelievable recovery to where i am now cured of chronic fatigue and most issues. but as i am desperately trying to get up on my feet everybody else has already been walking for 10 years, and life moves on. at this pace, i will never catch up.

one of my autistic behaviours is that i am extremely objective about everything. this alienates me from my peers. being biased and tribalistic is just human nature and i feel like normies doent even look at me as a human. sure i can force my self to constantly signal my virtues in every single sentence and speak politically correct when i have to, but i just cant shake off my robot like objective world view. and god damn virtue-signaling makes me wanna tear my eyes out. but if you dont then they will assume the worst about you. whenever i meet someone with a similar interest to me i have to pretend im as biased as them because if i don't then im "not on their side".
this is actually the reason why i took an interest in ray peat, i can recognize myself in the way he thinks. he takes no sides, listens to no authority, and makes an effort to pursue the objective truth.

its just so damn hard to be young now. i don't need to tell you about how horrible to world is right now, but its VERY hard when you're young. i feel like a jew walking around without my armband on hoping to not get caught. its not enough to not say the wrong things anymore, you practically have to scream out your politically correct opinions 24/7 in order to not get executed.

an article i saw today: "why have fashion brands been so quiet on x political event?"
this is straight-up tyrrany. nobody is safe anymore.

my girlfriend has many thousands of followers online and her dm´s are filled with random strangers asking her why she isn't commenting on current events or calling her a racist for never addressing racist issues. She's posting just pictures of her ******* sewing projects... people are not just virtue signaling anymore, they are going out of their way to fulfill their duties even when nobody is watching. being young is supposed to be all about expressing yourself. take that away and then what are you supposed to do?

after 23 years of every single possible thing going wrong, my learned helplessness feels uncurable. i keep telling myself that if just one nice thing would happen then maybe i could get the motivation to break out of this hell, but with the only person who even knows i exist being my gf, its unlikely that any miracle is going to happen. i keep mindlessly self-improving in order to avoid insanity but even if I could magically get my testosterone through the roof and reach metabolic euphoria I would still not know how to talk to someone without creeping them out. im sorry if this ended up just being me whining about everything but i just need someone who has been in a similar situation to guide me. how can one break out of life long learned helplessness? how can i catch up on all these years of missed social development? everyone is taught from a young age to exclude people like me. every day is just the same. i feel like the world is a big house party and im oustide looking in the window at all the people dancing and laughing.

and even if 15 years from now i end up with a loving family, lots of money, a great home in the country side, my own chickens and fresh milk every day... the thought of growing old without ever experiencing what its like to be young is just so painfull.

people my age are now settling down, getting kids etc... how could i possibly become a good father for my chirldren if i dont go through the experiences that young people are supposed to? life is learned by trial and error.

right now im considering just going to africa to get as far away from all this bull**** as possible. surely they havent been touched by this plague yet?

 

[Cloudhands]

***t, im pretty lonely, seeing as i just moved during the pandemic, if u ever wanna chit chat and talk about stuff feel free to message me

 

[gaze]

***t, im pretty lonely, seeing as i just moved during the pandemic, if u ever wanna chit chat and talk about stuff feel free to message me

Me as well

 

[jimmy5493]

i'm not old experienced man, but i recommend learning about kali yuga and dharma and karma. i believe that this life is not the end, and that everything happens for a reason.

also i think many people are struggling and unhappy during this time (this time of human history -- look up kali yuga). I knew someone who seemed like he was thriving, who seemed enviable in his carefree nature, who seemed social and the epitome of youthful happiness, and he killed himself.

There are many ways to be happy and have a meaningful and glorious existence in this era of the world, but no matter what if will be hard and be a struggle. But there is glory and beauty in struggle, and I hope we all find it.

 

[Sulcuscentralis]

I’ve been in a similar situation as you described, although less severe, I’m soon to be 32. All I can say is - age is just a number as long ad you’re healthy. Focus on your health, seek like minded people - internet makes it easy. Go to the gym - it will increase dht. Do small little steps in improving your social skills. If all else fails you can try lsd microdosing. Also cyproheptadine in small doses can help with learned helplessness, but it will make you a Grumpy zombie for a few days, so beware.

 

[reaching]

Being almost 30, all I can say is i would do so much more if I was 23!!
So I’ve been trying to live my life and do things so that when I am 40, I don’t think, “wow I wish I was 30!” Or “I wish I had done more!” It’s hard in this current climate but you are in control of what you do and how you let things affect you. Or that’s what I try to tell myself haha.

being outside and in nature helps.
exercise helps.
avoiding vices helps.

 

[Jem Oz]

You've actually got a good handle on what's troubling you. That counts for more than you know.

I'd say you're being too hard on yourself, but I know from my own vast experience with that beast, that hearing that doesn't help. In fact, people used to say it to me and I'd use it to be even harder on myself!

Here's the truth: you're young, you've got time, lots of time, you're figuring things out. That doesn't take the pressure off or make you magically happy, but it is the truth. There has, I suspect, always been tremendous pressure on young people (by which I mean late teens through to mid 20s), and I don't think any young person ever really lives up to their youth. FOMO etc. I'm late 30s, so not some old wise man with all the answers, but I've learned a thing or two, all of it the hard way.
try
The political, SJW stuff in America sounds much more intense than where I'm from, and god knows it's bad enough here. It's a nightmare and it WILL pass. But also, I'll say this: not everyone subscribes. I GUARANTEE there are pockets of people your age who are just out there having fun, getting lost in enjoyable pursuits, and they NEVER EVER talk about that boring, virtue signalling bs. Finding your tribe is one of life's most important quests and it's half the fun. Might just take some time and a bit of trial and error.

If you ever think you're behind the 8 ball, and everyone else is sorted and further along than you, mate I PROMISE it isn't the case. There are lots and lots of terribly interesting people who've taken their own sweet time to find their way in life. And there are lots of people who haven't gone down traditional routes right out of the gate: full time career, marriage, family, mortgage.

Finally this: tend your own garden. It sounds twee but it's true. Run your own race, tell yourself you're figuring stuff out in your own time and way, and consciously try to interject when you catch yourself comparing with others. As for the social stuff: that's a tough one, but there is enormous room for growth there too. It may not be possible for you right now, but finding a kick **** therapist who understands the deeper things going on underneath that social stuff can change one's life. It certainly did mine.

Good luck.

 

[Sulcuscentralis]

I’ve been in a similar situation as you described, although less severe, I’m soon to be 32. All I can say is - age is just a number as long ad you’re healthy. Focus on your health, seek like minded people - internet makes it easy. Go to the gym - it will increase dht. Do small little steps in improving your social skills. If all else fails you can try lsd microdosing.

Also

Being almost 30, all I can say is i would do so much more if I was 23!!
So I’ve been trying to live my life and do things so that when I am 40, I don’t think, “wow I wish I was 30!” Or “I wish I had done more!” It’s hard in this current climate but you are in control of what you do and how you let things affect you. Or that’s what I try to tell myself haha.

being outside and in nature helps.
exercise helps.
avoiding vices helps.

Yes - nature! Absolutely! If you feel like loosing your s..t go on a long walk around the beach or in the forest.

 

[johnwester130]

ever since i was a kid i have been an outsider amongst outsiders. ive never had friends and ive missed out on my youth and wasted my entire life so far. i am very intelligent and artistic but also autistic and socially retarded. ive never had a friend and when i speak to people my age its clear i am extremely far behind. i might be 10 times smarter than them and more mature in my way of thinking but i dont know how to even hold a conversation.
after quitting school in 10th grade i have done nothing with my life. ive always had great dreams and aspirations but severe depression from 1st grade and every health problem imaginable has made those dreams unnatainable. 2 years ago i started my health journey and i have made an unbelievable recovery to where i am now cured of chronic fatigue and most issues. but as i am desperately trying to get up on my feet everybody else has already been walking for 10 years, and life moves on. at this pace, i will never catch up.

one of my autistic behaviours is that i am extremely objective about everything. this alienates me from my peers. being biased and tribalistic is just human nature and i feel like normies doent even look at me as a human. sure i can force my self to constantly signal my virtues in every single sentence and speak politically correct when i have to, but i just cant shake off my robot like objective world view. and god damn virtue-signaling makes me wanna tear my eyes out. but if you dont then they will assume the worst about you. whenever i meet someone with a similar interest to me i have to pretend im as biased as them because if i don't then im "not on their side".
this is actually the reason why i took an interest in ray peat, i can recognize myself in the way he thinks. he takes no sides, listens to no authority, and makes an effort to pursue the objective truth.

its just so damn hard to be young now. i don't need to tell you about how horrible to world is right now, but its VERY hard when you're young. i feel like a jew walking around without my armband on hoping to not get caught. its not enough to not say the wrong things anymore, you practically have to scream out your politically correct opinions 24/7 in order to not get executed.

an article i saw today: "why have fashion brands been so quiet on x political event?"
this is straight-up tyrrany. nobody is safe anymore.

my girlfriend has many thousands of followers online and her dm´s are filled with random strangers asking her why she isn't commenting on current events or calling her a racist for never addressing racist issues. She's posting just pictures of her ******* sewing projects... people are not just virtue signaling anymore, they are going out of their way to fulfill their duties even when nobody is watching. being young is supposed to be all about expressing yourself. take that away and then what are you supposed to do?

after 23 years of every single possible thing going wrong, my learned helplessness feels uncurable. i keep telling myself that if just one nice thing would happen then maybe i could get the motivation to break out of this hell, but with the only person who even knows i exist being my gf, its unlikely that any miracle is going to happen. i keep mindlessly self-improving in order to avoid insanity but even if I could magically get my testosterone through the roof and reach metabolic euphoria I would still not know how to talk to someone without creeping them out. im sorry if this ended up just being me whining about everything but i just need someone who has been in a similar situation to guide me. how can one break out of life long learned helplessness? how can i catch up on all these years of missed social development? everyone is taught from a young age to exclude people like me. every day is just the same. i feel like the world is a big house party and im oustide looking in the window at all the people dancing and laughing.

and even if 15 years from now i end up with a loving family, lots of money, a great home in the country side, my own chickens and fresh milk every day... the thought of growing old without ever experiencing what its like to be young is just so painfull.

people my age are now settling down, getting kids etc... how could i possibly become a good father for my chirldren if i dont go through the experiences that young people are supposed to? life is learned by trial and error.

right now im considering just going to africa to get as far away from all this bull**** as possible. surely they havent been touched by this plague yet?

Ask Jeffrey Epstein

He is still alive

 

[Jib]

You're OK dude. The magic question: What're you gonna do?

I'm 31. I was about 3 years older than you when I had sex for the first time and got my first girlfriend. My history before that? Disaster. In and out of mental hospitals. In therapy and on psych meds since I was 12. Psych meds have completely ruined my mind and have ruined me sexually. I'm physically incapable of inserting myself even half an inch without ejaculating immediately thanks to Rexulti.

I do have some friends. I made real efforts to be more social and to monitor my behavior around other people. It's something I have to consciously work on. If I'm sleep deprived, I'll still blurt out extremely inappropriate things like how I think I was molested by a pediatrician when I was 8 or so, all the abuse I went through with my father, all this nightmarish stuff growing up. I have lost friendships over this. When I'm stressed I have no self control and I get desperate and crave connection but always seek it in the wrong way.

You can rewire your brain despite all this. Trust me dude. I was in a worse situation in some ways: on top of everything, I was actively stigmatized because I missed a lot of high school due to being hospitalized for psychiatric issues, and people knew it. People talked trash about me and told people to stay away from me. Never kissed a girl until I was 21, and as I said, didn't have sex and an actual relationship until 5 years after that. Dropped out of college after 1 semester because of psychiatric issues, was hospitalized shortly after that, then got my first job working minimum wage after I got out, through a rehab center. Worked there for 5 years.

For all intents and purposes, my life absolutely sucked balls and I was suicidal right up until my first relationship. I made tremendous efforts to make that happen. Had to change myself 100% to get to a point where I could hook up with a girl and have a relationship. It took me literal years to get to that point.

Now that my relationship ended a few years ago, I've been single, have not had sex, or touched, or done anything with any girls after, and feel like I have zero ability to. On top of that I'm sexually ruined from these psych meds I was on (ironically, to deal with depression/anxiety from trauma of relationship ending).

And yet? I'm doing better than ever in a lot of ways. I'm more isolated than ever and less capable of maintaining friendships than I've ever been in my life. But I'm enjoying my days lately. Just appreciating being alive. Even though I have honestly no hope for the future at all or that anything will change for me.

So what I'm telling you is you have no excuse to not feel good right now! Sounds corny. But it really is true that reality is within our minds. And we do have the power to change. I have not completely given up on myself, by the way, I'm just saying: all the "outside indicators" are showing that my life is not going well and that I should be miserable.

Just like you, I didn't enjoy my youth. However, I'm still "young." I'm feeling older at 31 but I'm still young, all things considered. You have time.

I'd recommend working on yourself even more. Zero in on the social skills. Whatever that means. Buy a course and do it. Watch free videos on YouTube. Whatever works. If you seek, you shall find.

23 is young dude. And you have a girlfriend. Having a girlfriend was a huge milestone of development for me. I have a friend in his thirties who's never had a relationship or done anything with a girl, lives alone in a tiny apartment and hates his job. He still manages to enjoy his hobbies and projects and is actively working to improve his life despite the fact that it completely sucks and is almost completely void of pleasure and enjoyment.

A friend of mine with a few kids just found out his wife has been cheating on him with multiple men for years. And is suicidal over it. Don't be quick to think anyone else has things figured out, or is immune to having their life fall apart. Your quirks and odd, isolated life may be your salvation in a sense that you're not aware of.

Many people who "have their s***t together" end up having it fall apart. Life is full of ebbs and flows. Thinking you "missed out" on life is only a delusion. Trust me. I can very easily feel like I've missed out. Truth be told I had great experiences with my ex girlfriend and I'm devastated that it's over. But I lived it. I did have those experiences. What is it worth now that it's over?

Know what I mean? Peace of mind is where it's at. I've been doing a lot more meditating, qigong, a LOT of working out, and focusing on taking care of my body. Regular sleep, good food, exercise for my mind and body. I have not given up on myself socially. But it is hard. Very hard. Trust me, I know what it's like being the odd man out. Ostracized and separate from society, just feel like you don't belong anywhere.

When you learn how to feel like you belong in your own mind, things will shift for you. Make more of an effort to understand what it means to feel comfortable in your own mind. To like yourself. To enjoy being in your mind. The more you struggle against yourself, the worse you feel.

I had an amazing day today working on projects, working out, watching some Netflix, and having some great food. Socializing is harder now with COVID lockdowns. Otherwise I'd advise forcing yourself to go to parties and gatherings as much as possible. I get extremely anxious and extremely awkward and pretty much consistently fail at making friends or contacts. But I still would try back when these kinds of things were open. And is actually how I met my girlfriend.

Anyway. I shared the sob story not for sympathy but so you can know someone else feels like their life is void of pleasure and enjoyment and that their youth has passed them by. And they're having a great time. How is that possible? Being comfortable in your own messed up brain and enjoying your own company. It's a skill that takes practice. Part of the solution is changing yourself. The other part is not giving a s***t what other people think about you. Paradox. But life is a paradox so it all works out. From one astronaut to another -- good luck on your journey, friend. Learn how to really, truly like yourself, and value yourself and your time with yourself on earth as you would with a cherished friend.

 

[Explorer]

I can relate to some of this and I feel similar I have the same thing with objectivity and Asperger's and never having been able to sort of fully tap into that social connection thing that most neurotypicals naturally do good at and such.

 

[TheSir]

this time of human history -- look up kali yuga

Kali Yuga ended centuries ago, around the 1600s or so (lifespan, empathy and metaphysical understanding of man was at its lowest in the medieval ages). We are now in ascending Dwapara Yuga, the Bronze age. That's not to say that things will not remain quite bad for some time, but that the overall trend is for the better, across the forthcoming centuries. The human condition has clearly been improving since about the 1700s with notions of liberty, equality, democracy, individuality and so on. Admittedly, all of these principles are perversely applied in the current society, but they will eventually lead towards an ultimate good, as man becomes more attuned to these principles due to the improving electromagnetic circumstances which the approach of the sun's binary pair is going to result in:

 

[Elie]

i'm not old experienced man, but i recommend learning about kali yuga and dharma and karma. i believe that this life is not the end, and that everything happens for a reason.

also i think many people are struggling and unhappy during this time (this time of human history -- look up kali yuga). I knew someone who seemed like he was thriving, who seemed enviable in his carefree nature, who seemed social and the epitome of youthful happiness, and he killed himself.

There are many ways to be happy and have a meaningful and glorious existence in this era of the world, but no matter what if will be hard and be a struggle. But there is glory and beauty in struggle, and I hope we all find it.

I second that

 

[retroactive]

Have you had any good experience with anitbiotics? Ever take activated charcoal with coconut oil?

 

[NodeCerebri]

I know it’s quite impossible for an autist to shut down his mind for a moment (been there ?) but I wouldn’t think of your surroundings or compare yourself to peers this much. You are incredibly gifted. F**k Social skills. Find what you love doing or losing yourself in and do it and everybody can just f**k off. I also agree with the people who advised you to find your tribe. You don’t have to comply to the norm. You are unique and you have your own ways and your own pace. F**k what others do and f**k what others think! You’re a king in your own world and you’re your own party. Let other people join if they want to, and if they don’t, keep on celebrating yourself.

Now some practical advices:
-don’t watch TV, News, Netflix
-don’t read the news
-cut down on social media (if possible completely). Most importantly don’t follow these quacks who seen it all done it all
-focus on yourself
-f**King realize that you’re unique and you’re a gift to this world
-you’re not lost if you don’t know which way to go. Feeling overwhelmed is normal. It will pass. Be prepared for a crazy journey! Your own journey!

-Hugs from me who thought she’d never make it to 24 years of life because she was just as overwhelmed as you are right now.

 

[tankasnowgod]

The political, SJW stuff in America sounds much more intense than where I'm from, and god knows it's bad enough here. It's a nightmare and it WILL pass.

Well, maybe, but it won't pass on it's own. The political SJW stuff has it's roots in the 60's with the Women's Lib movement, and carried on, and added fuel to the fire in the 90's with the political correctness movement. NONE of those things have passed. They have only gotten worse. It's been going on for 5+ decades, and it ain't stopping on it's own.

Here's Aaron Russo talking about how Women's Lib was funded by the Rockefellers and the CIA, mainly to break up the family and indoctrinate children. And, it's working-



And as Alex Jones points out in the clip, there were real problems that women were facing, but the movement was highjacked or controlled for sinister reasons.

Trump was one of the best famous fighters on this front, but this politcal SJW stuff is an enemy that is organized that needs to be defeated. Not just something that will pass on it's own. After all, it's still here and apparently stronger than ever 5+ decades.

 

[reaching]

Ask Jeffrey Epstein

He is still alive

No u.

 

[Brandin]

I know working out isnt according to some around here healthy but it certainly is according to me if u have reached good health prior to staring. The cortisol spike should not be a problem if you can keep cortisol low overall and just have it as a robust once a day signal.

Working out changed my life forever. Not to mention that there are plenty of people at the gym that im sure would like to talk with you. I am also somewhat odd in other peoples eyes but the gym has brought me many friends that I hopefully will keep a long time.

Im also also desperate to find more gaming friends so if u play games feel free to contact me lmao...

 

[Cloudhands]

I know working out isnt according to some around here healthy but it certainly is according to me if u have reached good health prior to staring. The cortisol spike should not be a problem if you can keep cortisol low overall and just have it as a robust once a day signal.

Working out changed my life forever. Not to mention that there are plenty of people at the gym that im sure would like to talk with you. I am also somewhat odd in other peoples eyes but the gym has brought me many friends that I hopefully will keep a long time.

Im also also desperate to find more gaming friends so if u play games feel free to contact me lmao...

U or anyone else on here play super smash bros?

 

[Vileplume]

U or anyone else on here play super smash bros?

I do, but only the N64 version because I don’t have a switch