23 yr man completely lost in life, advice from older men wanted

[DrJ]

You need to get out of your own head all the time by DOING. Not thinking. DOING. Set a goal then work to achieve it. Repeat. Repeat. Until you can set and handle 3 goals at a time, 5 goals, etc. Don't stop.

Stop talking or thinking about normies. Start setting goals and achieving them. Then the world is along for your ride, not the other way around. People do stupid stuff all the time. Doesn't matter. It's a game. Play the game. Don't overanalyze. Observe the moves of others, say to yourself 'interesting move', and then just keep playing your game. Does the world appear to be full of retards? Good. This game is on easy mode.

This period in which most of the world is detached from reality is temporary. The skills you build while setting and achieving your goals are not and will be invaluable soon.

 

[Cloudhands]

I do, but only the N64 version because I don’t have a switch

Well im on switch, but its nice to know someone else appreciates the game as well lol. I notice that it makes my cortisol and adrenaline spike tho lmao

 

[Vileplume]

Well im on switch, but its nice to know someone else appreciates the game as well lol. I notice that it makes my cortisol and adrenaline spike tho lmao

Lol, for me NDT does that. I wish it was just the game that did it.

 

[tankasnowgod]

Ask Jeffrey Epstein

He is still alive

This compilation of videos that Lin Wood posted on are pretty incredible-

 

[Diokine]

Firstly, the rules of the game are pretty simple. The mind is primary. When you first start anything, you’re probably not going to be as effective as you want .We’re talking about everything here, relationships, business, physical fitness. But you train, and you improve. For me, it was difficult to begin the work, because I had the intellectual capacity to understand the scope of the things I was trying to do. This kept my mind open with all kinds of possibilities and made it impossible to move. But the key is, MOVE, a little bit every day. Turn this movement into momentum. Recognize the things you do consistently and it will help you discover your purpose.

When you’re young, you’re cherished and appreciated for your capacity to learn wisdom from older people. Not much is more irritating than a precocious child or foolish adult that speaks of things they do not and cannot fully understand. So it is important to remain in the space of childlike learning and engagement when you have not yet mastered something.

As an adult, your value is your capacity to focus, to hold a task or goal in regard for extended periods of time. This focus is a skill you can learn. Battle with distractions, and generate strategies to overcome them. One way or the other, you will come to discover that time is the most valuable thing we have, next to honest friends and family. Stop ******* around.

Around your age, you should begin to realize that the world does not work the way you think it does. If you are not getting results and are getting discouraged, the fault does not lie with the system around you. The fault lies in your approach. This brings up an incredibly important point – You cannot lose. Every failure is an opportunity to be better. It is very important to develop a resilient mind. This resilient mind engages challenge, and does not shrink away from it. If I was speaking to a younger me, this would be the primary point I stressed.

Strenuous physical training is valuable in this regard. Very hard workouts that challenge the metabolic systems require enormous focus. It’s easy to rationalize as to why we wouldn’t offer everything we have at the moment to training, but these actions can lead to weakness. Program a hard workout that will require focus, and when you’re in the middle of it thinking about how much it sucks – realize it’s a game. Smile, yell, dance, understand that the burning in your legs and sweat dripping from your body can’t do ***t to your mind. Keep pushing. The more you can hone the edge of your mind and remain in the place where you’re dancing with struggle, the more momentum you can generate in the face of difficulty.

Honing the edge is another point. It’s important to push hard to stimulate adaptation, but it’s equally important to maximize recovery. Don’t eat ***t all the time and sleep well. Listen to your body and don’t ignore signs that point to possible injury. If you are unable to maintain a high level of engagement, find the level that you can maintain. Learn to reframe your feelings about difficulty. I used to feel unpleasant feelings in my stomach and would dread them. Now I take this anxiety and transmute it into excitement. As you strengthen your mind, your ability to do this will increase. Notice the things that you shy away from and don’t want to think about. Sit in a room with them. There is no reason to fear. Give them a sly smile and dance with them. You can’t lose.

Another thing – don’t pay attention the news and bull**** articles on the internet. Remain informed but don’t be swayed. A large majority people are caught up in the current of constant bull**** that spews from morons thinking their opinion is important. It’s only important if it’s useful to you. If you constantly engage with this content, it will make your mind weaker. Guard what you look at very carefully.

Stop judging people. People are naturally drawn to what makes them feel good - and agreeing with other people feels good. I agree that society is a bad state right now, but do not judge people for this. Remain dedicated to your vision and purpose. This is the best thing you can do if you were inclined to help anyway. People need inspiration, not condemnation.

Write things down, regularly. First start by recording what happens in the day, recording victories, losses, challenges, things that you think about often, things that scare you. Turn over the rocks in your mind and look at the bugs underneath. This would be the next most important thing I would tell a younger me. I spent so much time vacuuming up information that soon I had a huge bin of dust that formed no coherent ideas. What a waste. Apply logic and focus to what you are doing. If you’re researching, take notes and make a reference so you can look back at it and integrate it into your being.

As you get better at recording, start authoring. What does the life you want look like? Do you want to travel, get an awesome job, or fly a helicopter, scuba dive? Do you want to be effective? You’re the one writing this story, so start thinking about it. Write paragraphs, fantasies about how you want your life to look, turn it into chapters, be specific, and begin the process of writing your book.

There will be things that you legitimately cannot engage with effectively. Do not be anxious about these. If you’ve honestly done what you can, give it up to God and let him handle it. Do not try to engage too heavily with things beyond your comprehension. Write down your thoughts on them, and let them go.

Another thing – don’t take things so seriously. Personally I take time to reassess my perspective if I’m starting to notice more gravity in my thoughts. If I’m getting ready for bed, thinking about how I goofed with the girl at the supermarket, and starting to feel like an awkward ***hole, I’ll write it down and then shake my body out. It doesn’t matter. Nobody cares about these things as much as you think, and if they do then it’s their deal. You'll know things are going the right way when you wake up in the morning excited about what you can accomplish in that day, and you greet it with open arms. Be willing to engage any unknown - even the apocalypse.

Have fun. Realize being open to love is being open to being hurt. Let it go. There is no “end” to this journey; you’ll never get there – not this side of heaven anyway. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Be like gravy on mashed potatoes, flow into the nooks and crannies, be salty and delicious. Give people grace. They **** up and so do you. Serve people. Encourage. Be light.

 

[Brandin]

U or anyone else on here play super smash bros?

sadly not. Mostly Valorant, minecraft or csgo haha. Enjoyed it at my friends house doe. I remember sucking and getting rekt on any character other than that karate dude. My friend told me to never play with any other character lmao.

 

[GelatinGoblin]

Bruce Lee quotes and philosophy. Check out John Butler on YouTube (not musician). God Bless

 

[Pistachio]

And stay awa

ever since i was a kid i have been an outsider amongst outsiders. ive never had friends and ive missed out on my youth and wasted my entire life so far. i am very intelligent and artistic but also autistic and socially retarded. ive never had a friend and when i speak to people my age its clear i am extremely far behind. i might be 10 times smarter than them and more mature in my way of thinking but i dont know how to even hold a conversation.
after quitting school in 10th grade i have done nothing with my life. ive always had great dreams and aspirations but severe depression from 1st grade and every health problem imaginable has made those dreams unnatainable. 2 years ago i started my health journey and i have made an unbelievable recovery to where i am now cured of chronic fatigue and most issues. but as i am desperately trying to get up on my feet everybody else has already been walking for 10 years, and life moves on. at this pace, i will never catch up.

one of my autistic behaviours is that i am extremely objective about everything. this alienates me from my peers. being biased and tribalistic is just human nature and i feel like normies doent even look at me as a human. sure i can force my self to constantly signal my virtues in every single sentence and speak politically correct when i have to, but i just cant shake off my robot like objective world view. and god damn virtue-signaling makes me wanna tear my eyes out. but if you dont then they will assume the worst about you. whenever i meet someone with a similar interest to me i have to pretend im as biased as them because if i don't then im "not on their side".
this is actually the reason why i took an interest in ray peat, i can recognize myself in the way he thinks. he takes no sides, listens to no authority, and makes an effort to pursue the objective truth.

its just so damn hard to be young now. i don't need to tell you about how horrible to world is right now, but its VERY hard when you're young. i feel like a jew walking around without my armband on hoping to not get caught. its not enough to not say the wrong things anymore, you practically have to scream out your politically correct opinions 24/7 in order to not get executed.

an article i saw today: "why have fashion brands been so quiet on x political event?"
this is straight-up tyrrany. nobody is safe anymore.

my girlfriend has many thousands of followers online and her dm´s are filled with random strangers asking her why she isn't commenting on current events or calling her a racist for never addressing racist issues. She's posting just pictures of her ******* sewing projects... people are not just virtue signaling anymore, they are going out of their way to fulfill their duties even when nobody is watching. being young is supposed to be all about expressing yourself. take that away and then what are you supposed to do?

after 23 years of every single possible thing going wrong, my learned helplessness feels uncurable. i keep telling myself that if just one nice thing would happen then maybe i could get the motivation to break out of this hell, but with the only person who even knows i exist being my gf, its unlikely that any miracle is going to happen. i keep mindlessly self-improving in order to avoid insanity but even if I could magically get my testosterone through the roof and reach metabolic euphoria I would still not know how to talk to someone without creeping them out. im sorry if this ended up just being me whining about everything but i just need someone who has been in a similar situation to guide me. how can one break out of life long learned helplessness? how can i catch up on all these years of missed social development? everyone is taught from a young age to exclude people like me. every day is just the same. i feel like the world is a big house party and im oustide looking in the window at all the people dancing and laughing.

and even if 15 years from now i end up with a loving family, lots of money, a great home in the country side, my own chickens and fresh milk every day... the thought of growing old without ever experiencing what its like to be young is just so painfull.

people my age are now settling down, getting kids etc... how could i possibly become a good father for my chirldren if i dont go through the experiences that young people are supposed to? life is learned by trial and error.

right now im considering just going to africa to get as far away from all this bull**** as possible. surely they havent been touched by this plague yet?

A good start would be with reading the Book of Proverbs and Ecclesiasticus and understanding it.

 

[Davsey85]

Spend more time in nature

Perhaps a cabin in the forest for a week or so

Sometimes a reset can help

 

[Cloudhands]

I think a good start to letting go of ego would be to stop constantly analyzing and judging others. The whole "everyones so dumb and i know everything" mindset only served to make me depressed everytime i fell into it. Like constantly seeing how people are dumb or wrong just wont make u happy. Sure maybe they are dumb or wrong, but whats the point of just trying to be right all the time, no one likes a know it all. Just vibe with people. Look up different strategies to get better at small talk on youtube. Be humble and just be friends with people. These are strategies that worked for me.

 

[Rave re-peat]

ever since i was a kid i have been an outsider amongst outsiders. ive never had friends and ive missed out on my youth and wasted my entire life so far. i am very intelligent and artistic but also autistic and socially retarded. ive never had a friend and when i speak to people my age its clear i am extremely far behind. i might be 10 times smarter than them and more mature in my way of thinking but i dont know how to even hold a conversation.
after quitting school in 10th grade i have done nothing with my life. ive always had great dreams and aspirations but severe depression from 1st grade and every health problem imaginable has made those dreams unnatainable. 2 years ago i started my health journey and i have made an unbelievable recovery to where i am now cured of chronic fatigue and most issues. but as i am desperately trying to get up on my feet everybody else has already been walking for 10 years, and life moves on. at this pace, i will never catch up.

one of my autistic behaviours is that i am extremely objective about everything. this alienates me from my peers. being biased and tribalistic is just human nature and i feel like normies doent even look at me as a human. sure i can force my self to constantly signal my virtues in every single sentence and speak politically correct when i have to, but i just cant shake off my robot like objective world view. and god damn virtue-signaling makes me wanna tear my eyes out. but if you dont then they will assume the worst about you. whenever i meet someone with a similar interest to me i have to pretend im as biased as them because if i don't then im "not on their side".
this is actually the reason why i took an interest in ray peat, i can recognize myself in the way he thinks. he takes no sides, listens to no authority, and makes an effort to pursue the objective truth.

its just so damn hard to be young now. i don't need to tell you about how horrible to world is right now, but its VERY hard when you're young. i feel like a jew walking around without my armband on hoping to not get caught. its not enough to not say the wrong things anymore, you practically have to scream out your politically correct opinions 24/7 in order to not get executed.

an article i saw today: "why have fashion brands been so quiet on x political event?"
this is straight-up tyrrany. nobody is safe anymore.

my girlfriend has many thousands of followers online and her dm´s are filled with random strangers asking her why she isn't commenting on current events or calling her a racist for never addressing racist issues. She's posting just pictures of her ******* sewing projects... people are not just virtue signaling anymore, they are going out of their way to fulfill their duties even when nobody is watching. being young is supposed to be all about expressing yourself. take that away and then what are you supposed to do?

after 23 years of every single possible thing going wrong, my learned helplessness feels uncurable. i keep telling myself that if just one nice thing would happen then maybe i could get the motivation to break out of this hell, but with the only person who even knows i exist being my gf, its unlikely that any miracle is going to happen. i keep mindlessly self-improving in order to avoid insanity but even if I could magically get my testosterone through the roof and reach metabolic euphoria I would still not know how to talk to someone without creeping them out. im sorry if this ended up just being me whining about everything but i just need someone who has been in a similar situation to guide me. how can one break out of life long learned helplessness? how can i catch up on all these years of missed social development? everyone is taught from a young age to exclude people like me. every day is just the same. i feel like the world is a big house party and im oustide looking in the window at all the people dancing and laughing.

and even if 15 years from now i end up with a loving family, lots of money, a great home in the country side, my own chickens and fresh milk every day... the thought of growing old without ever experiencing what its like to be young is just so painfull.

people my age are now settling down, getting kids etc... how could i possibly become a good father for my chirldren if i dont go through the experiences that young people are supposed to? life is learned by trial and error.

right now im considering just going to africa to get as far away from all this bull**** as possible. surely they havent been touched by this plague yet?

My advice is to be your own man. People Will respect you alot more for that. If you think social media is a Hassle then dont bother with it. Show the world what you stand for. Call it bulls hit. Do what you Enjoy. Like someone Said here. Age is just a Number. You are dragging yourself down letting this sh it get to your head. It does. It do that to me too and i have Many Friends who pretend they Enjoy it but they then tell me they hate it. Or that it gives them ***t sleep. We have been Force feed this bull**** that you should strive for more and be succesfull. Its all just a f ing guilt trip. Im 28 soon to be 30. You can say i threw away a few years of My life here in My mid 20s. But f uc k that. No regrets. We are Still Young man. You cant be expected to know all answers. You got alot of Time you need to waste just learning. Thats the problem today. You feel like everyone is expecting you to do all THE right choices even at Young age. You are Still very Young.
Only One person know the right choice and thats you man. And you Will do some wrong just to figure out whats right. Thats progress. Be happy your not fatigued anymore. You live only One Time man and you seems unhappy becoz your letting the world get to you. Thats truly wasting your life away. Dont bother with the haters. Own yourself. You seem smart and your actually thinking about solutions. Youll figure something out. Its natural.
Look at Kanye West dude. The Guy is mad. Probably autistic, ADHD, Bipolar among Many things. Still he conquered everything he ever wanted just by Being himself and not listning to other People. Thats His gift. Im not a Huge kanye fan but thats true about him. He did what he believed and his Bipolar confidence helped him. But thats all you need confidence. You dont need anyones approval to have confidence. All you need to do is believe you are strong. People Will call you mad and delusional. But in the end they be cheering for you. Saying this Guy is going against the flow



Lyrics:
I'm living' in that 21st century
Doing something mean to it
Do it better than anybody you ever seen do it
Screams from the haters, got a nice ring to it
I guess every superhero need his theme music

 

[Sulcuscentralis]

I think a good start to letting go of ego would be to stop constantly analyzing and judging others. The whole "everyones so dumb and i know everything" mindset only served to make me depressed everytime i fell into it. Like constantly seeing how people are dumb or wrong just wont make u happy. Sure maybe they are dumb or wrong, but whats the point of just trying to be right all the time, no one likes a know it all. Just vibe with people. Look up different strategies to get better at small talk on youtube. Be humble and just be friends with people. These are strategies that worked for me.

Same here. Good advice.

 

[Jon2547]

To the OP, read the King James bible. It is the best source of useful knowledge.

 

[LucyL]

I'm not recommending this because I know next to nothing about it, other than the description (and what I've heard Jack Murphy say about it) seems to fit what you are looking for,

The Liminal Order

The Liminal Order is an exclusive men’s organization whose mission is to change our culture by changing ourselves. We ascribe to positive masculinity and believe in the power of individual

jackmurphylive.com

The Liminal Order is an exclusive men’s organization whose mission is to change our culture by changing ourselves. We ascribe to positive masculinity and believe in the power of individual accountability. The men of the Liminal Order know we must improve ourselves such that we may be of better service to our families, communities, and our Nation.

Through education, training, fraternity, and service, the Liminal Order equips the mind, body, and spirit to thrive in today’s chaotic culture.

We help men help mankind.

 

[PeatBull]

23? Ow ***t i wish i had 23, your life its just beging, a lot of good things ahead.
I would start asking myself: whats the most important thing in life? Your family, your soul, religion, yourself, *****, etc. Its a good start.
I always recall that this life is just an ilusion, one day you’ll be gone and will take nothing with you. When teenager i was also a social retard, all i did was smile and listen, but the girls loved me, becouse i was shy...
Its important to understand that the most people just want to express themselves, and beeing a man of trust, not judging anyone, bein someone on who u can rely on, its very valuable.

 

[Salome]

ever since i was a kid i have been an outsider amongst outsiders. ive never had friends and ive missed out on my youth and wasted my entire life so far. i am very intelligent and artistic but also autistic and socially retarded. ive never had a friend and when i speak to people my age its clear i am extremely far behind. i might be 10 times smarter than them and more mature in my way of thinking but i dont know how to even hold a conversation.
after quitting school in 10th grade i have done nothing with my life. ive always had great dreams and aspirations but severe depression from 1st grade and every health problem imaginable has made those dreams unnatainable. 2 years ago i started my health journey and i have made an unbelievable recovery to where i am now cured of chronic fatigue and most issues. but as i am desperately trying to get up on my feet everybody else has already been walking for 10 years, and life moves on. at this pace, i will never catch up.

one of my autistic behaviours is that i am extremely objective about everything. this alienates me from my peers. being biased and tribalistic is just human nature and i feel like normies doent even look at me as a human. sure i can force my self to constantly signal my virtues in every single sentence and speak politically correct when i have to, but i just cant shake off my robot like objective world view. and god damn virtue-signaling makes me wanna tear my eyes out. but if you dont then they will assume the worst about you. whenever i meet someone with a similar interest to me i have to pretend im as biased as them because if i don't then im "not on their side".
this is actually the reason why i took an interest in ray peat, i can recognize myself in the way he thinks. he takes no sides, listens to no authority, and makes an effort to pursue the objective truth.

its just so damn hard to be young now. i don't need to tell you about how horrible to world is right now, but its VERY hard when you're young. i feel like a jew walking around without my armband on hoping to not get caught. its not enough to not say the wrong things anymore, you practically have to scream out your politically correct opinions 24/7 in order to not get executed.

an article i saw today: "why have fashion brands been so quiet on x political event?"
this is straight-up tyrrany. nobody is safe anymore.

my girlfriend has many thousands of followers online and her dm´s are filled with random strangers asking her why she isn't commenting on current events or calling her a racist for never addressing racist issues. She's posting just pictures of her ******* sewing projects... people are not just virtue signaling anymore, they are going out of their way to fulfill their duties even when nobody is watching. being young is supposed to be all about expressing yourself. take that away and then what are you supposed to do?

after 23 years of every single possible thing going wrong, my learned helplessness feels uncurable. i keep telling myself that if just one nice thing would happen then maybe i could get the motivation to break out of this hell, but with the only person who even knows i exist being my gf, its unlikely that any miracle is going to happen. i keep mindlessly self-improving in order to avoid insanity but even if I could magically get my testosterone through the roof and reach metabolic euphoria I would still not know how to talk to someone without creeping them out. im sorry if this ended up just being me whining about everything but i just need someone who has been in a similar situation to guide me. how can one break out of life long learned helplessness? how can i catch up on all these years of missed social development? everyone is taught from a young age to exclude people like me. every day is just the same. i feel like the world is a big house party and im oustide looking in the window at all the people dancing and laughing.

and even if 15 years from now i end up with a loving family, lots of money, a great home in the country side, my own chickens and fresh milk every day... the thought of growing old without ever experiencing what its like to be young is just so painfull.

people my age are now settling down, getting kids etc... how could i possibly become a good father for my chirldren if i dont go through the experiences that young people are supposed to? life is learned by trial and error.

right now im considering just going to africa to get as far away from all this bull**** as possible. surely they havent been touched by this plague yet?

I feel like I could have written parts of this. I also feel very unfulfilled, like I'm not working hard enough, or learning fast enough. How did you cure your health issues???

 

[korpesh]

There's a lot of great insight on this thread, so I will try not to restate what has already been said.

I'm now squarely in middle-age, and yet still feel like I struggle with a lot of the same things as the OP. That said, I've had tremendous highs and lows through my life. In the periods where my life seemed to be going exceptionally well, it always involved getting along with a lot of people. At the lowest points there has also always been a consistent pattern of isolation. Which comes first, the success (internal and external), or the friends? Did I have downturns in life because I lost friends and relationships, or did I lose the friends and relationship because of failures in life? I'm not sure, but I do know it seems to almost be incompatible to have one without the other.

I also know it is nearly impossible to keep many friends, if you are always prioritizing your discussions and interactions with them on convincing them of the truths that you know, or debating the justice of past events. As someone who is pathologically objective like yourself, I have incredible empathy for the struggle you seem to be going through on fitting in these days, with how ridiculous and biased most people have become in their communication. You could be, and even are probably, correct in the truths you know, however, somehow in the way this reality is constructed, wanting to communicate with people in such a sincere fashion just can't be your first priority. It doesn't even matter if you are right and they are wrong, or even if your insight would actually help them in the long run. No one will care, not until you have a solid history of friendship with them.

But there is a cheat-code to friendship. When interacting with people make it your priority to help them get what they THINK they need. I emphasize the word THINK, because when you first start trying to do this, you will probably feel very weird, and find it extremely difficult to quiet your inner dialogue that wants to explain to them what they really need, or to try to help them see a better way for them to look at things. You might even struggle with wondering if by you assisting them, you are not doing something morally wrong, and obviously, you shouldn't help people do blatantly abusive or immoral things (where they take advantage of or hurt others). Through listening to almost anyone though, you can often find a core good thing you can assist them with, which will fit with your own moral code, yet organically "force" them to see you as a friend on at least some level. It's sort of the same concept that a lot of con-men use to gain people's trust to take advantage of them, but you are doing it to actually start healthy friendships. Haha.

Am I saying that if a social justice warrior is incessantly talking about rounding up and arresting people who don't say the politically appropriate thing you should agree with them in order to get along with them? ABSOLUTELY NOT. But I am saying you can train yourself to get better at switching the conversation to a goal they want, which you can agree with them on as being decent... whether that is getting a dog, getting in better shape, a better job, eating interesting food, finding interesting books, or a kick **** new video game, etc. In your interactions with them, you then prioritize helping them achieve that particular goal, rather than debating them on what they're seeing incorrectly. And, although online is easier, I think there is something to the fact you really need to do this in real life, interacting with people face to face.

Eventually, if they come to think of you as someone who is helping them, they will just naturally see you as a friend, and then you have a much better chance of growing the relationship into something where you can have more sincere discussions about things you might disagree with them on. And, once you start to have a lot of friends, life will magically get way easier and enjoyable, and you will be able to get more of what you desire to be happy, including eventually finding a few core people that you can completely see eye to eye on things with.

Besides for that, the other advice I'd give is travel internationally. I have been to several different countries outside of the United States, and it I have always felt inspired, recharged and like the world isn't as hopeless as I thought once I do. When you travel, you are forced to disengage from the "American mindset" and there's almost no way to feel hopeless anymore because you realize the world and its opportunities are so much greater than anyone one person, group or society can even comprehend. You are reminded good people exist everywhere, and there is always a new opportunity for things to still work out up around the next bend in the road.

23 is INCREDIBLY young, and your life can still turn out fantastic. Over the past twenty years I have made many mistakes, but I find I don't regret the actual mistakes as much as I do all the time I wasted worrying about and dwelling on what went wrong. So, just to summarize.... leave the past in the past while focusing on helping strangers (and they will become friends), and do some traveling. In a few years you won't remember all the negative feelings you're having now, because you will have become stronger, kinder, and wise enough that people being ignorant or hateful will just make you sad for them rather than being able to bring you down. You will be happy enough that your past pain will be reframed to the point where it no longer exists.