Is It Possible To Increase Your Looks?

[Arrade]

The link Aymen posted had an interesting quote here:

"Researchers asked young women (ages 15 to 29) to choose potential dates from a series of photographs and descriptions, while the women's mothers (ages 37 to 61) were asked to select possible boyfriends for their daughters using the same information. Results showed that a man's looks influenced both groups of women more strongly than his personality profile. This held true even if a man's profile was filled with highly desirable personal qualities, such as being respectful, honest and trustworthy."

I find this to be true. This is why I've all but quit bothering with online anymore. The thing is you can't properly charm a woman with your confidence and social affluence through online avenues, which leaves the only way a woman will swipe right on you is if you're attractive enough (half the time, women don't even read your profiles I've found, so I know this to be true). I know this because I actually do care about what I write about on my profiles, and often-times all someone will do is say "Hey" or ask something random that was explained in the profile.

In-person approach is a different animal, because in-person yeah the looks still matter but you have the chance to shine - to make them laugh at your humor, to be intrigued by your dark and mysterious personality, whatever. None of this properly shows in an online profile.

It also depends on the site. Match.com is better for relationships.
Women do have an artificially raised level of power online, on top of society's already overvaluing of women's sexuality.
Tinder women will be 7's and think 8-10's are only worthwhile.
Honestly that just makes me think if they dont look at the bio then you can immediately get it in. They are open immediately.

Also most attractive women don't "need" online because they receive so much attention in real life. I found it pretty hard to find attractive women online and if they were they were in the late 20s-early 30s range.

Having a good social life with social hobbies or running in circles with successful people is a better way to get a relationship

 

[Aymen]

The link Aymen posted had an interesting quote here:

"Researchers asked young women (ages 15 to 29) to choose potential dates from a series of photographs and descriptions, while the women's mothers (ages 37 to 61) were asked to select possible boyfriends for their daughters using the same information. Results showed that a man's looks influenced both groups of women more strongly than his personality profile. This held true even if a man's profile was filled with highly desirable personal qualities, such as being respectful, honest and trustworthy."

I find this to be true. This is why I've all but quit bothering with online anymore. The thing is you can't properly charm a woman with your confidence and social affluence through online avenues, which leaves the only way a woman will swipe right on you is if you're attractive enough (half the time, women don't even read your profiles I've found, so I know this to be true). I know this because I actually do care about what I write about on my profiles, and often-times all someone will do is say "Hey" or ask something random that was explained in the profile.

In-person approach is a different animal, because in-person yeah the looks still matter but you have the chance to shine - to make them laugh at your humor, to be intrigued by your dark and mysterious personality, whatever. None of this properly shows in an online profile. An in-person approach gives an otherwise "swipe left" guy a chance to get "swiped right on" because in-person you can't just swipe someone left and tell them to go away (I mean someone might, if you're especially creepy) but most people will entertain a minute or two conversation even if they're not initially interested in your romantically at the grocery store or something.

that's true about online dating , women don't visit your profile , well most of them .
even if someone is very handsome he may be ignored by women ( either in street / public or online dating ) , they assume he is a player, just making an account to boost his ego , one night stand ,etc .

 

[Cirion]

Of those providing surefire confident advice on how looks are be-all, end-all up there with height, how many can consistently, confidently approach women randomly out of the blue and keep a balanced comfortable conversation going for more than 8 minutes?

Those who are age 26+ know damn well how easy online game is if youre reasonable or fun looking. The actual true test is face to face..

I'm not saying looks are end all be all. I'm saying looks are end all be all IF you want "free access" without any work involved on your part or want any success on an online site.

Otherwise, totally agree, skill with in-person approach is the key to success. I mean you still need it in any event (you can totally screw up a meet-up from online for sure) but you can't even get in the door from online without an insanely good profile. My experience has shown me I maybe get 1 match for every 100-200 people I swipe on with tinder (so maybe a 0.5% success rate). That's a full time job, so I just don't bother anymore.

 

[Aymen]

It behooves you to be as handsome as possible, but there is always a random wild card of connection/ your skills with a woman + circumstance.
I hope you guys know what I mean, it's like the "joker" in the deck. A 40% black space where logic or your looks won't matter.

Also recognize most women aren't 10's! Most are 6's. Like 75%

6 with the makeup they put in their skin , dressing well , having a good haircut .

 

[Arrade]

6 with the makeup they put in their skin , dressing well , having a good haircut .

"Girls with makeup get demanding, but they fake like orange tanning" - Mac Miller

 

[Arrade]

6 with the makeup they put in their skin , dressing well , having a good haircut .

We treat these 6's like 8s. It's the double standard that women "don't enjoy sex" and lose their respect if we acknowledge their lasciviousness. So we have to act like their sex is a great gift to undeserving men and we're "lucky" to get from them the exact same thing they're getting and wanting just as bad.
Honestly a ugly man can get a babe so never stress a chick ever. But do make yourself most attractive as possible, it makes it 10x easier and increases your social capital.

 

[Arrade]

I said /end rant dammit

 

[Luckytype]

I'm not saying looks are end all be all. I'm saying looks are end all be all IF you want "free access" without any work involved on your part or want any success on an online site.

Otherwise, totally agree, skill with in-person approach is the key to success. I mean you still need it in any event (you can totally screw up a meet-up from online for sure) but you can't even get in the door from online without an insanely good profile. My experience has shown me I maybe get 1 match for every 100-200 people I swipe on with tinder (so maybe a 0.5% success rate). That's a full time job, so I just don't bother anymore.

I wish I had a data point for online to compare.

I realized very early that the mystique and confidence associated with an in person approach gives me the upper hand big time. Ive also noticed by observing others that the reason a ton of girls use online profiles is because they control how they look and literally put what they believe is a great picture forward. Hell, girls from my gym friend group look amazing in their photos, they blend in any other group in person. Not only that but ive noticed that all this "tech neck" is strongly correlated to an inability to have in person interactions. I just plain dont have an interest in someone who cant look up from their phone or really finds value in online attention. The connection is greater and immediate, there is no expectation or let down.

Data point: Part of this friend group of mine there is a tall, handsome, fit guy, kids got the brain of a Dorito, does the online thing, hasnt had success in 2 years... looks dont give anyone free access. This kid couldnt close a screen door.

That said, there are plenty of average or goody looking stupid dufuses out there who cant think for themselves that have great successes

 

[Cirion]

Luckytape I'm glad you see success online, truly, but I think your experience is out of the norm, not the exception. I don't know any guys who have success online except the 1%'ers. Judging from your avatar pic you looked pretty much ripped so I'm not surprised honestly! It doesn't matter how witty your message is in an online avenue, because most messages aren't even read or totally ignored (you would ignore most messages too if you got 100's a day).

 

[Cirion]

I said /end rant dammit

Hahaha, sorry, I've said my piece now, I'm good :P

 

[Luckytype]

Luckytape I'm glad you see success online, truly, but I think your experience is out of the norm, not the exception. I don't know any guys who have success online except the 1%'ers. Judging from your avatar pic you looked pretty much ripped so I'm not surprised honestly! It doesn't matter how witty your message is in an online avenue, because most messages aren't even read or totally ignored (you would ignore most messages too if you got 100's a day).

I dont use anything online anymore, im saying i find huge huge value in a random approach in person. Full clothed too

 

[Aymen]

We treat these 6's like 8s. It's the double standard that women "don't enjoy sex" and lose their respect if we acknowledge their lasciviousness. So we have to act like their sex is a great gift to undeserving men and we're "lucky" to get from them the exact same thing they're getting and wanting just as bad.
Honestly a ugly man can get a babe so never stress a chick ever. But do make yourself most attractive as possible, it makes it 10x easier and increases your social capital.

Nice answer Vegito :) .
the problem with looks is when it comes to long term relationship women prefer average good looking men than handsome men .

 

[Arrade]

Hahaha, sorry, I've said my piece now, I'm good :P

I think I was responding to someone else lol.
Honestly I had a lot of matches on Tinder. I’m a good looking guy but no way a model or hunk. I’m shorter than all the 6 foot friends in photos as well. You have to treat it like IG with best outfits and fitness pics.

Ok I’ve discussed women enough for a lifetime. At least here it is logged

 

[Arrade]

Nice answer Vegito :) .
the problem with looks is when it comes to long term relationship women prefer average good looking men than handsome men .

Very good point. Women are happier in relationships where men are ugly. Perhaps it could be natural to admire the feminine form
I honestly found a lot of women disloyal. But I guess paying the bills and getting a woman above your caliber is worth it, and may these women only cheat when something is seriously broken.
If you are handsome, which is an admirable goal from my view, just get a woman who is absolutely gorgeous and perhaps financially affluent or something else. Being handsome you will find that fish in the small pond aren’t the ones meant for you to keep

 

[Light]

What I was trying to say with the last point that when women *DO* use looks as a distinguisher (some do, especially those looking for a fling and not a relationship, or some are just really picky in general, and most women using online dating sites), that they're going to be pickier in their standards. Does that make more sense?

Totally, we are extremely picky, and we see every little thing - in men, in other women and in ourselves. I promise I have spent more time obsessed over other women's breasts than any body part of any man I ever met...

So maybe a woman is only slightly interested. She may not actually think your height is a deal breaker, but you are not in a good place she may turn you down by saying she only likes "tall men." Perhaps that's a preference but really as a whole she is not interested enough in you, your height may not even be the reason at all. She's just passively trying to turn you down at the moment. Perhaps if you were more popular or she appreciated your personality more, another factor and then the height thing disappears as an issue.

I don't think height is a deal breaker, but it's certainly a bonus for making good first impressions. After a minute or two of talking to a guy other things take over. I was once two hours into a really good first date before I figured out the guy was shorter than me...

Also like I said above, women don't truly know what they want. They want a good guy but really they love drug dealers for the free drugs and unattached sex, they love the pervert, they love the unfaithful man. They will often describe their ideal man, which is out of a romantic novel and not even within their grasp.

The truth here is that people at large don't know what they want. Every researce into human behavior shows that - we say we want a political leader who is honest and can work with the other party but vote for the a-hole, we want to be thin and healthy but binge watch game of throne with 2 large pizzas and a tub of ice cream (just me??), we say we want a good solid guy but go for the prick who breaks our heart.
The deeper more animalistic motives always prevail.

The link Aymen posted had an interesting quote here:

"Researchers asked young women (ages 15 to 29) to choose potential dates from a series of photographs and descriptions, while the women's mothers (ages 37 to 61) were asked to select possible boyfriends for their daughters using the same information. Results showed that a man's looks influenced both groups of women more strongly than his personality profile. This held true even if a man's profile was filled with highly desirable personal qualities, such as being respectful, honest and trustworthy."

I find this to be true. This is why I've all but quit bothering with online anymore. The thing is you can't properly charm a woman with your confidence and social affluence through online avenues, which leaves the only way a woman will swipe right on you is if you're attractive enough (half the time, women don't even read your profiles I've found, so I know this to be true). I know this because I actually do care about what I write about on my profiles, and often-times all someone will do is say "Hey" or ask something random that was explained in the profile.

In-person approach is a different animal, because in-person yeah the looks still matter but you have the chance to shine - to make them laugh at your humor, to be intrigued by your dark and mysterious personality, whatever. None of this properly shows in an online profile. An in-person approach gives an otherwise "swipe left" guy a chance to get "swiped right on" because in-person you can't just swipe someone left and tell them to go away (I mean someone might, if you're especially creepy) but most people will entertain a minute or two conversation even if they're not initially interested in your romantically at the grocery store or something.

When you only have looks to go with of course it'll matter more than a list of traits, but that changes when you meet someone in person.
I remember seeing a study being done with couples - they took a photo of one of them and photoshoped it to make 5 photos - 2 that looked worse than in reality, 2 that looked more attractive and the real one.
Then the 5 photos were given to their partner and they were asked to identify which one was the real one.
When people were inlove they picked the more attractive version of their partner, and when they were in a bad relationship they picked a photo that made their partner look worse than in real life.
"Love is blind" is not an empty metaphore. Feelings absolutely affect perception, and the older I get and the more I learn, it seems to me that feelings may be the most powerful human motivaton, more than facts, more than reason for sure, more than ideology.

 

[Aymen]

Very good point. Women are happier in relationships where men are ugly. Perhaps it could be natural to admire the feminine form
I honestly found a lot of women disloyal. But I guess paying the bills and getting a woman above your caliber is worth it, and may these women only cheat when something is seriously broken.
If you are handsome, which is an admirable goal from my view, just get a woman who is absolutely gorgeous and perhaps financially affluent or something else. Being handsome you will find that fish in the small pond aren’t the ones meant for you to keep

yes , i mean it's the woman who fears handsome man may cheat in a long term relationship.

 

[Arrade]

yes , i mean it's the woman who fears handsome man may cheat in a long term relationship.

I think I already said that. But if a woman is even more beautiful, perhaps it won;t matter. Or enjoy what biology and mindful self care gifted you- frolic in the gardens as Solomon did. And then marry a 20 something in your 30s-50s and breed even stronger children.
Forget about a relationship because every man not as handsome as you wishes they had what you do, and can't do what you can

 

[Aymen]

Totally, we are extremely picky, and we see every little thing - in men, in other women and in ourselves. I promise I have spent more time obsessed over other women's breasts than any body part of any man I ever met...


I don't think height is a deal breaker, but it's certainly a bonus for making good first impressions. After a minute or two of talking to a guy other things take over. I was once two hours into a really good first date before I figured out the guy was shorter than me...


The truth here is that people at large don't know what they want. Every researce into human behavior shows that - we say we want a political leader who is honest and can work with the other party but vote for the a-hole, we want to be thin and healthy but binge watch game of throne with 2 large pizzas and a tub of ice cream (just me??), we say we want a good solid guy but go for the prick who breaks our heart.
The deeper more animalistic motives always prevail.


When you only have looks to go with of course it'll matter more than a list of traits, but that changes when you meet someone in person.
I remember seeing a study being done with couples - they took a photo of one of them and photoshoped it to make 5 photos - 2 that looked worse than in reality, 2 that looked more attractive and the real one.
Then the 5 photos were given to their partner and they were asked to identify which one was the real one.
When people were inlove they picked the more attractive version of their partner, and when they were in a bad relationship they picked a photo that made their partner look worse than in real life.
"Love is blind" is not an empty metaphore. Feelings absolutely affect perception, and the older I get and the more I learn, it seems to me that feelings may be the most powerful human motivaton, more than facts, more than reason for sure, more than ideology.

great answer Light.
i,m obsessed at looking at women's feet when they walk / move , is this normal :) ?

 

[Arrade]

great answer Light.
i,m obsessed at looking at women's feet when they walk / move , is this normal :) ?

NO. you're a subclass of human.

 

[Aymen]

I think I already said that. But if a woman is even more beautiful, perhaps it won;t matter. Or enjoy what biology and mindful self care gifted you- frolic in the gardens as Solomon did. And then marry a 20 something in your 30s-50s and breed even stronger children.
Forget about a relationship because every man not as handsome as you wishes they had what you do, and can't do what you can

that's true .