Going through a rough time (breakup) and experiencing extreme anxiety, panic, and depression

[spanner]

You asked for supplements. Have you tried methylene blue? Niacin?

 

[artist]

Taurine and glycine are both worth trying. Taurine seems to make me keep things in perspective (low dose like 500mg) and glycine helps physically relax me (I like higher doses for this like 5-10g). Second antihistamines as well. Everyone is different though. Just remember that there is nothing objectively “true” about how you’re feeling right now, your body is freaking out because of stress and it’s okay to do what you need to to get back to a state of calm. I wouldn’t worry too much about overshooting to “numb” right now, you just need to get out of crisis.

Edit: I see you tried taurine already. Another substance that REALLY brightens my mood is vitamin E (normal doses like 200-400IU) I’m not sure why but it cuts off negative emotions like turning a faucet off.

 

[ironfist]

I only read the OP and the first reply.

The lone cases where I've seen where someone CANNOT get over a breakup usually involves some type of Cluster B disorder and codependency. Precisely, the person who got dumped is codependent and the person who did the dumping probably has borderline personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder.

I would recommend visiting r/bpdlovedones There are thousands of stories there and they're all exactly the same. View a couple threads and if they immediately result in you feeling "heard," then you've just discovered the problem.

I might be wrong, but I don't think so. In these cases, it's not about "moving on" or "getting over it" or "manning up" or any of that other ***t. It's abut breaking the trauma bond.

 

[gunther]

@helpmyhair

Any update?

 

[helpmyhair]

Really not doing well at all. Falling into a a bigger pit of depression, anxiety attacks, body shakes, panic, fear, etc. This is without a doubt, the worst time in my entire life. I've been taking zopiclone to fall asleep from my GP, but I only end up sleeping around 5 hours before I wake up in an anxiety attack. These pills make me really tired an lethargic during the day, which doesn't help.

I really need to find a way to sleep a solid 8+ hours a night. Second I need to find something that can calm my body down from the intense anxiety/panic/bodily feelings. Third, I need something that can cure this intense depression.

I definitely think I have some codependency issues. Working with a psychotherapist, but I find that talk therapy is just not enough as even if I can rationalize things, it doesn't stop the depression, anxiety attacks, panic, fight or flight, tenseness, etc. I am also having trouble doing much of anything. Can even leave my apartment without feeling horrible and overwhelmed. I find that the anxiety/depression is the worst in the morning, still bad during the day, and seems to level out a bit at night. Nighttime I feel like things are little more bearable with the anxiety even if the depression is still there.

Really need some good supplements to solve this that won't make me feel like zombie as that would probably feed the depression.

 

[ironfist]

Go read r/bpdlovedones

That forum has been unparalleled in helping me over the years. I promise you if you make a thread there, use an anonymous account if you want, you'll get wonderful advice and people who can relate.

 

[gunther]

Really not doing well at all. Falling into a a bigger pit of depression, anxiety attacks, body shakes, panic, fear, etc. This is without a doubt, the worst time in my entire life. I've been taking zopiclone to fall asleep from my GP, but I only end up sleeping around 5 hours before I wake up in an anxiety attack. These pills make me really tired an lethargic during the day, which doesn't help.

I really need to find a way to sleep a solid 8+ hours a night. Second I need to find something that can calm my body down from the intense anxiety/panic/bodily feelings. Third, I need something that can cure this intense depression.

I definitely think I have some codependency issues. Working with a psychotherapist, but I find that talk therapy is just not enough as even if I can rationalize things, it doesn't stop the depression, anxiety attacks, panic, fight or flight, tenseness, etc. I am also having trouble doing much of anything. Can even leave my apartment without feeling horrible and overwhelmed. I find that the anxiety/depression is the worst in the morning, still bad during the day, and seems to level out a bit at night. Nighttime I feel like things are little more bearable with the anxiety even if the depression is still there.

Really need some good supplements to solve this that won't make me feel like zombie as that would probably feed the depression.

Dude, it really pains me to read this as I’ve been there before. Have you ever tried an antihistamine? Like I said, Benadryl calms me way down. I’ve read that it doesn’t work for some people, but for me it’s an emergency life saver.

 

[Adf]

Are you a man? Watch a channel on YouTube called (Tribe of Men)

Regardless of you are man or woman, try a change of scenery, if finances allow I recommend getting a camper or trailer and going on a road trip for a month or two.

I second this. If you have the money, go travelling solo. You can go backpacking through Hostels around Europe, or pick 1 country and backpack around it. I did this in Scotland for the same thing you're going through, and met many different people that made me realize just how insignificant my own problems were. Women can do this too, many women have done so, just need to be much more careful.

There's a whole world out there filled with many interesting people, some of whom have problems even worse than your own. It's very eye opening to go see it in person. And there's a big dopamine rush as you travel solo, especially if it's not something you've ever done before. Like you're conquering something every moment, it's a big confidence boost. You also get a bit of attention when you have a foreign accent in a different country, it can make you feel special.

You might even meet someone new and better along the way.

 

[helpmyhair]

Dude, it really pains me to read this as I’ve been there before. Have you ever tried an antihistamine? Like I said, Benadryl calms me way down. I’ve read that it doesn’t work for some people, but for me it’s an emergency life saver.

I had some Benadryl last night and I think it helped a little as I was in an okay mood.. but still couldn't fall asleep without the sleeping pill. I think Benadryl can be okay to use now and again, but I am always in this state and not sure if using benedryl regularly is a good idea. Would it be bad to use it daily? I also take citrizine (antihistamine) with breakfast.. so not sure if there's any interactions. .but I made sure to take the Benadryl in the evening

 

[helpmyhair]

I second this. If you have the money, go travelling solo. You can go backpacking through Hostels around Europe, or pick 1 country and backpack around it. I did this in Scotland for the same thing you're going through, and met many different people that made me realize just how insignificant my own problems were. Women can do this too, many women have done so, just need to be much more careful.

There's a whole world out there filled with many interesting people, some of whom have problems even worse than your own. It's very eye opening to go see it in person. And there's a big dopamine rush as you travel solo, especially if it's not something you've ever done before. Like you're conquering something every moment, it's a big confidence boost. You also get a bit of attention when you have a foreign accent in a different country, it can make you feel special.

You might even meet someone new and better along the way.

I am actually a big time solo traveller. The breakup actually happened while I was out on a solo trip and it only really affected me for 2-3 days and then I forgot about it and just enjoyed the trip. However when I got home, I good for like a month maybe and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I haven't been good since. I am thinking to go on a solo trip in January.. but I worry that once I return home, I'll slowly end up being back to where I am now. The high of travel always wears off once you are back home for a bit.

How old are you btw? I'm 37, so feeling a bit old for hostels these days. I stayed at one on the trip I was just on, but in a private room. It doesn't help that I have alot of grey hair. If it weren't for the greys, I might fit in a little better at the hostels as I look a little younger for my age.

 

[gunther]

I had some Benadryl last night and I think it helped a little as I was in an okay mood.. but still couldn't fall asleep without the sleeping pill. I think Benadryl can be okay to use now and again, but I am always in this state and not sure if using benedryl regularly is a good idea. Would it be bad to use it daily? I also take citrizine (antihistamine) with breakfast.. so not sure if there's any interactions. .but I made sure to take the Benadryl in the evening

I think long term use over years might not be the greatest, but for a month or so it shouldn’t be that bad. When I start to get panicky I’ll take it for a few days until I calm down.

When I start to spiral out of control it stops me from getting too bad. From my experience I think that my anxiety has some sort of positive feedback, so I need something to calm down so it doesn’t get out of control. I used to use benzos for that, but those are much more risky in terms of addiction

 

[Regina]

I've been taking that. A few drops on my wrist once a day. Does it work for you? I've not noticed much from it.

How about down the hatch instead of on the wrist?

 

[gunther]

How about down the hatch instead of on the wrist?

I’ve done that, but I don’t remember much difference. I’ll try it tomorrow and see.

 

[redsun]

Really not doing well at all. Falling into a a bigger pit of depression, anxiety attacks, body shakes, panic, fear, etc. This is without a doubt, the worst time in my entire life. I've been taking zopiclone to fall asleep from my GP, but I only end up sleeping around 5 hours before I wake up in an anxiety attack. These pills make me really tired an lethargic during the day, which doesn't help.

I really need to find a way to sleep a solid 8+ hours a night. Second I need to find something that can calm my body down from the intense anxiety/panic/bodily feelings. Third, I need something that can cure this intense depression.

I definitely think I have some codependency issues. Working with a psychotherapist, but I find that talk therapy is just not enough as even if I can rationalize things, it doesn't stop the depression, anxiety attacks, panic, fight or flight, tenseness, etc. I am also having trouble doing much of anything. Can even leave my apartment without feeling horrible and overwhelmed. I find that the anxiety/depression is the worst in the morning, still bad during the day, and seems to level out a bit at night. Nighttime I feel like things are little more bearable with the anxiety even if the depression is still there.

Really need some good supplements to solve this that won't make me feel like zombie as that would probably feed the depression.

You have a lot of mental baggage and evolving to do. Keep in mind, this situation was inevitable because there is value you are meant to extract from this that will never be found anywhere else. Of course this is very hard to do when you are in a panic constantly so something else needs to be tried.

Like I have advised before getting appropriate amounts of zinc, calcium and magnesium are necessary but if you are already doing this then likely there is more that needs to be done. I would suggest the next time you eat breakfast, eat 4 hardboiled eggs, some carbs and whatever else you usually eat but make sure you eat those eggs so you can be able to sleep when night comes around. This will calm you down a lot and pull you out of this ongoing fight or flight state which is amplifying all emotions and keeping your body overly alert which is making you unable to relax and shut down and thus making it hard to sleep.

 

[UphillEndeavors]

Break-ups can truly suck, brother. Every one is unique, but we've all felt that pain. They will hurt and nothing will stop that. It's beyond cliche, but time is your enemy and ally. It will drag on, but you will get better.

 

[helpmyhair]

You have a lot of mental baggage and evolving to do. Keep in mind, this situation was inevitable because there is value you are meant to extract from this that will never be found anywhere else. Of course this is very hard to do when you are in a panic constantly so something else needs to be tried.

Like I have advised before getting appropriate amounts of zinc, calcium and magnesium are necessary but if you are already doing this then likely there is more that needs to be done. I would suggest the next time you eat breakfast, eat 4 hardboiled eggs, some carbs and whatever else you usually eat but make sure you eat those eggs so you can be able to sleep when night comes around. This will calm you down a lot and pull you out of this ongoing fight or flight state which is amplifying all emotions and keeping your body overly alert which is making you unable to relax and shut down and thus making it hard to sleep.

Yeah I have been taking thee magnesium, zinc, and calcium. I eat about 2 eggs each morning as its hard for me to get down more. I could probably do 3 if its an omelette or scrambled. Even with all that, its not enough man. What I'm going through is so intense. I really need something extra that will really calm me down, especially in the mornings and during the day.. and also something that will make me feel happy and this depression is overwhelming. And I'm really unable to actually fall asleep.. like at all. Without that horrible sleeping pill, I would be up all night.

One of the big issues for me I guess is that I feel really unattractive. I met her 7-8 years ago, and back then I was actually handsome. But in those years, I became a type 1 diabetic which made me loose a ton of weight and all my muscle.. now I am underweight and look like a shell of myself. My hair has gotten thinner and very grey , and my face looks aged. All that makes me feel like I won't find another girl.. or one as good as my ex.. and I have this overwhelming feeling that I am gonna be alone forever. That makes it all so much more difficult to accept and part of why I'm freaking out so much. Sure I can work out a bit, but it won't change a lot. I met her when I was 29 and looking really good, now I'm 37 and looks really unattractive. Girls don't even look at me anymore. If I felt like I could attract a girl as attractive or better than my ex, then I think I would be a little more relaxed and confident. But I feel like that won't happen so I'm freaking out. I just wish it didn't end with her and I wouldn't be in this mess.

 

[Adf]

I am actually a big time solo traveller. The breakup actually happened while I was out on a solo trip and it only really affected me for 2-3 days and then I forgot about it and just enjoyed the trip. However when I got home, I good for like a month maybe and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I haven't been good since. I am thinking to go on a solo trip in January.. but I worry that once I return home, I'll slowly end up being back to where I am now. The high of travel always wears off once you are back home for a bit.

How old are you btw? I'm 37, so feeling a bit old for hostels these days. I stayed at one on the trip I was just on, but in a private room. It doesn't help that I have alot of grey hair. If it weren't for the greys, I might fit in a little better at the hostels as I look a little younger for my age.

Ah okay, yeah I myself did feel some of the depression return after travelling, but was still left with the understanding of how small and insignificant my problems are in this vast world that helped me cope much better.

In my opinion, if you look for a partner to fill something inside you, whether it's loneliness or insecurity or something else, the breakup is horrendous. You become dependant on them, and when they leave it is like a huge part of you was just ripped out and taken with them. I believe everyone should make themselves whole before even attempting to search for a partner. Be happy and content with thyself and only when you truly love thyself can you love another. This goes for your partners too, we must search out for partners who already love themselves, who do not seek to use you to fill a hole in themselves, for they can tear parts of you away with them as they leave.

I'm 30, but I was 25 when I did my travels. I met a few older people in the hostels though, I didn't think being in your 30's or older means much.

You may have already tried something like this as you have mentioned therapy, but imagine the connection to you and your ex, like a spiritual cord that connects your souls/spirits together, and imagine cutting it like cutting an umbilical cord. Visualize cutting all connections to that person, whilst smiling and being happy to sever the connection. Do this enough and eventually you won't even be able to visualize the connection anymore.

Also smiling, even forcefully can help, as smiling causes the brain to produce the feel-good chemicals. Forcing a smile while thinking how good it is to be single and independent can, over time help connect the thought of independence to feeling good.

As far as potential physiological benefits, have you tried Wim Hoff method? Cold showers, ice baths, breathwork etc. I find a cold shower or ice bath creates a sharp feeling of dread in the first 5-10 seconds, but then like a flick of a switch it is reversed and all negative feelings dissipate and a calming washes over.

 

[redsun]

Yeah I have been taking thee magnesium, zinc, and calcium. I eat about 2 eggs each morning as its hard for me to get down more. I could probably do 3 if its an omelette or scrambled. Even with all that, its not enough man. What I'm going through is so intense. I really need something extra that will really calm me down, especially in the mornings and during the day.. and also something that will make me feel happy and this depression is overwhelming. And I'm really unable to actually fall asleep.. like at all. Without that horrible sleeping pill, I would be up all night.

One of the big issues for me I guess is that I feel really unattractive. I met her 7-8 years ago, and back then I was actually handsome. But in those years, I became a type 1 diabetic which made me loose a ton of weight and all my muscle.. now I am underweight and look like a shell of myself. My hair has gotten thinner and very grey , and my face looks aged. All that makes me feel like I won't find another girl.. or one as good as my ex.. and I have this overwhelming feeling that I am gonna be alone forever. That makes it all so much more difficult to accept and part of why I'm freaking out so much. Sure I can work out a bit, but it won't change a lot. I met her when I was 29 and looking really good, now I'm 37 and looks really unattractive. Girls don't even look at me anymore. If I felt like I could attract a girl as attractive or better than my ex, then I think I would be a little more relaxed and confident. But I feel like that won't happen so I'm freaking out. I just wish it didn't end with her and I wouldn't be in this mess.

You are a male. The problem with men is our needs for choline can be very much higher then women because we lack estrogen to increase the activity of the enzyme that makes choline in the body so the enzyme activity is lower. So we are very dependent on dietary choline. There are also mutations in this enzyme that are also very common in men that make this enzyme even less functional. So your requirement can be very high. High enough that the only way you can get enough is if you eat a very high choline diet with specific high choline foods, mainly eggs.

Try 4 in the morning. And eat some choline rich foods later in the day such as meat as well. You can make it work. Try this for a short time. And when it does work, you will gladly eat them. Get your total choline intake to at least 800mg to 1g a day. 4 eggs gives about 600mg. You are stuck in this fight or flight state and you have not been able to process your emotions properly because of this. My educated guess tells me you likely need more choline based on the fact that you wake up with a panic attack after a short sleep. People who have choline deficiency often wake up in the middle of the night, sometimes with a bout of anxiety/panic or adrenaline rush. It is hard for you to stay asleep since your sympathetic system cannot turn off and stay off during the night even with a GABAergic drug. Also they tend to have elevated heart rate or heart rate that easily jumps at the slightest emotional provocation and they feel wide awake and on edge.

If its late where you are you can also eat 2 eggs before you go to bed right now and then go for the 4 in the morning. This will help you stay asleep during the night if you don't want to wait and likely go through another night of waking up in panic. Then go for 4 in the morning.

Listen, you have a right to feel the way you do. Trust me I know the pain you feel. But know this, no one is worth more than your sanity. No one is worth more than your health. You need to make the decision to put yourself first and believe in yourself and see past your insecurities. Good news is, women are more attracted to confident, masculine behavior than they ever will be to your looks. Believe in yourself and know you will get through this but this will only work if you decide to be on your own team for once and accept yourself as you are now. Your lesson here is to eradicate your codependent tendencies and make yourself the most important person in your life.

 

[ironfist]

This dude has a trauma bond from a bad breakup with a narcissist or borderline. Supplements are not the answer. The answer is figuring out why you're codependent and going from there. Listen, it's like coming out of the fog (literally, that's the way they describe it, FOG, FEAR OBLIGATION GUILT). There are numerous resources available. r/bpdlovedones is your best friend. www.flyingmonkeysdenied.com is another one. I don't know why there are lots of replies and no one is addressing the main issue. Supplements do not fix trauma bonds. Exercise does not fix trauma bonds. Traveling does not fix trauma bonds. UNDERSTANDING WHAT THE **** HAPPENED AND SOLVING IT FIXES TRAUMA BONDS. shrink4men.com is another one. This thread is triggering the **** out of me because I did all that same ***t after a breakup where I couldn't really figure out WHY I was so depressed. "I'll never find someone else like her." No. "No one comprehends me like she does." No. "I'll never date someone as hot as her." No. It's none of those things, that's your ******* gross bond with her talking. Stop looking for other ***t. You want to do some self development? Ok do it. I did. I literally moved to a huge city and spent most of my time doing self improvement and going out and talking to chicks. I got better socially, but it DIDN'T FIX THE DEPRESSION because I was still emotionally attached to the cluster B I had dated. I moved across the country and spent 9 months traveling AND THAT DIDN'T FIX THE DEPRESSION. It wasn't until I became satisfied with myself that I started to feel better, and then it was gone basically instantly. Meeting new people helps but that's sometimes just a replacement.

 

[LucyL]

Yeah I have been taking thee magnesium, zinc, and calcium. I eat about 2 eggs each morning as its hard for me to get down more. I could probably do 3 if its an omelette or scrambled. Even with all that, its not enough man. What I'm going through is so intense. I really need something extra that will really calm me down, especially in the mornings and during the day.. and also something that will make me feel happy and this depression is overwhelming. And I'm really unable to actually fall asleep.. like at all. Without that horrible sleeping pill, I would be up all night.

One of the big issues for me I guess is that I feel really unattractive. I met her 7-8 years ago, and back then I was actually handsome. But in those years, I became a type 1 diabetic which made me loose a ton of weight and all my muscle.. now I am underweight and look like a shell of myself. My hair has gotten thinner and very grey , and my face looks aged. All that makes me feel like I won't find another girl.. or one as good as my ex.. and I have this overwhelming feeling that I am gonna be alone forever. That makes it all so much more difficult to accept and part of why I'm freaking out so much. Sure I can work out a bit, but it won't change a lot. I met her when I was 29 and looking really good, now I'm 37 and looks really unattractive. Girls don't even look at me anymore. If I felt like I could attract a girl as attractive or better than my ex, then I think I would be a little more relaxed and confident. But I feel like that won't happen so I'm freaking out. I just wish it didn't end with her and I wouldn't be in this mess.

Diamant, from @haidut 's IdeaLabs.com/lab thread on the forum: Diamant - Adamantane Solution For Lab/R&D

Awesome stuff, I find it very stabilizing. Also some charcoal for a bit, anything to mop up the gut serotonin.

And then my friend, the great catechism question: Q. What is the Chief end of Man? A. To glorify God and enjoy him forever. Those may be hard words, but when the chief end of us is ourselves, we will usually only see the failure and shortcomings. Christians glorify God by serving Him and that means serving others. Get involved in areas of service in your community, and help others with what you have.