Overwhelming Emotional Stress After Breakup

[Aymen]

become estrogen deficient .

 

[Arnold Grape]

I have the idealabs B vitamin complex and fat solubles. I was trying to simplify and I thought these made sense. I don't know what kind of effect it has when I'm not eating properly though, or if it's even safe.

The Pansterone, Pregnenolone/ Dhea is fairly good to apply topically to combat depression, at least for a while. If your situation is more dramatic, I would consider taking something like St. John's Wort or a medication that your doc recommends.

 

[Andman]

The Pansterone, Pregnenolone/ Dhea is fairly good to apply topically to combat depression, at least for a while. If your situation is more dramatic, I would consider taking something like St. John's Wort or a medication that your doc recommends.

St.Johns or a medication that your doc recommends -> like what, an SSRI?

 

[Arnold Grape]

I would stray from an SSRI, but if one thought his life was in danger, it would probably be fairly pedantic of us to say carrots might help. IME, St. John's Wort is effective in combating depression, as well as low dose Preg and progesterone. Those things will require a solid foundation of diet and will probably cause other unwanted sides.

 

[sunraiser]

I know the gutwrenching anxiety you're talking about and trust me it can and will pass.

So many times I thought it was unbearable and I couldn't keep going only for glimmers of hope to shine through.

If you're only able to tolerate limited calories then I don't believe supplements are a good idea. Especially the idea labs b complex - the b1 will put pressure on your magnesium levels and active b2 / b6 can be a problem - they're activated by the body with available resources as needed.

Do you have a particularly restrictive diet atm?

Foods you enjoy are really important right now to help digestion. Maybe find a light hearted or happy tv series to watch and slowly try and sort your sleep out so as to get some daytime light in your eyes.

See if the sun feels good on your torso - if it feels good it'll be the absolute best thing for you right now. Sun on front and back until it stops feeling good.

It'll pass, trust me.

I can relate in lots of ways to your situation and I know you have physiology going against you to make things feel far more extreme - equilibrium can ALWAYS be restored - just be kind to yourself and your body will slowly help you.

 

[kyle]

The best supp for you.



Stop moaning and be a man, if you like her go get her back.

 

[Ashoka]

I know the gutwrenching anxiety you're talking about and trust me it can and will pass.

So many times I thought it was unbearable and I couldn't keep going only for glimmers of hope to shine through.

If you're only able to tolerate limited calories then I don't believe supplements are a good idea. Especially the idea labs b complex - the b1 will put pressure on your magnesium levels and active b2 / b6 can be a problem - they're activated by the body with available resources as needed.

Do you have a particularly restrictive diet atm?

Foods you enjoy are really important right now to help digestion. Maybe find a light hearted or happy tv series to watch and slowly try and sort your sleep out so as to get some daytime light in your eyes.

See if the sun feels good on your torso - if it feels good it'll be the absolute best thing for you right now. Sun on front and back until it stops feeling good.

It'll pass, trust me.

I can relate in lots of ways to your situation and I know you have physiology going against you to make things feel far more extreme - equilibrium can ALWAYS be restored - just be kind to yourself and your body will slowly help you.

Thanks. I don't have a restrictive diet at all really, although I do avoid certain things like nuts and PUFA oils. I just don't really eat anyway. One food I enjoy at night is peaches, the ones stored in glass jars. That does tend to make me feel better, and in general I feel calmer at night anyway. I have been watching some tv series', and I guess sleep and diet are the most important things right now. I generally feel worse after I've immediately eaten, but I guess fruit, cheese, and milk are the easiest things. Any other ideas? How did you make it through your own difficulties?

The best supp for you.

Stop moaning and be a man, if you like her go get her back.

I appreciate the motivation, but at the same time you've labeled me as a not a real man, and I'm already in the habit of feeling that way about myself. It just reinforces a negative depiction that I've been fighting and a sense that I'm not good enough, and now I have to hear someone else tell me it, whether that's true or not. What you're saying isn't helpful to most people. And if your only response is something like "Well maybe you aren't one", then let's be real - Do you actually mean to help me and see where I'm coming from or even read the full post? Getting her back is one thing, but if I don't I still have to deal with the reality. Everyone has different strengths. I admit that the end of romantic relationships are a personal weakness.

 

[Herbie]

I appreciate the motivation, but at the same time you've labeled me as a not a real man, and I'm already in the habit of feeling that way about myself. It just reinforces a negative depiction that I've been fighting and a sense that I'm not good enough, and now I have to hear someone else tell me it, whether that's true or not. What you're saying isn't helpful to most people. And if your only response is something like "Well maybe you aren't one", then let's be real - Do you actually mean to help me and see where I'm coming from or even read the full post? Getting her back is one thing, but if I don't I still have to deal with the reality. Everyone has different strengths. I admit that the end of romantic relationships are a personal weakness.

That post your replying to was disgraceful and the poster is confused about men and women demonstrated by the post and so does the culture we come from, its a huge problem. Real men do not post things telling another man to stop moaning over women. History knows that women can and absolutely destroy men, mostly the manliest of men, men go through all kinds of pain, near death and death for women.

I recommend reading the metaphysics of sex by Julius Evola, I may be enlightening for you.

 

[zewe]

@Ashoka

I would say that one of the first things you should correct is your sleeping times. Your circadian rhythm is out of whack. If you 1st work to get your body clock in line, I believe you'll begin to feel better.

What is Circadian Rhythm / Body Clock? | Sleep.org

Once that's adjusted, get outside and let the morning light hit your eyes. Do you live in an area surrounded by nature? Because it truly is healing for the human mind and body.

If you have a backyard, I found feeding the birds very therapeutic. When observing nature, the eyes tend to move back and forth. This is very good for relieving emotional discomfort.

In fact, this is the way the woman who invented EMDR discovered it; by watching ducks swim back and forth over a body of water.

What is EMDR? | EMDR Institute – EYE MOVEMENT DESENSITIZATION AND REPROCESSING THERAPY

You've gotten some great advice and compassion from members here. See, you do have friends who care about you!

 

[kyle]

I appreciate the motivation, but at the same time you've labeled me as a not a real man, and I'm already in the habit of feeling that way about myself. It just reinforces a negative depiction that I've been fighting and a sense that I'm not good enough, and now I have to hear someone else tell me it, whether that's true or not. What you're saying isn't helpful to most people. And if your only response is something like "Well maybe you aren't one", then let's be real - Do you actually mean to help me and see where I'm coming from or even read the full post? Getting her back is one thing, but if I don't I still have to deal with the reality. Everyone has different strengths. I admit that the end of romantic relationships are a personal weakness.

Let me just say how I interpreted your post - you broke up with her and then regret that choice. But then you made a lot of unconvincing excuses why it's impossible to get her back. "Too much time passed, I broke her trust, she already forgot me, etc." Those things may or may not be true but you let it convince yourself to never try.

That's precisely what I disagree with and no therapist is gonna give it to you that straight.

Closure is not always an option in life but it seems like you have a chance to have her reject you/or get her back...rather than bury your self.I do know one thing: it is much harder to deal with rejection short term, but long term it is better than having 'what if' hanging over your head.

That post your replying to was disgraceful and the poster is confused about men and women demonstrated by the post and so does the culture we come from, its a huge problem. Real men do not post things telling another man to stop moaning over women. History knows that women can and absolutely destroy men, mostly the manliest of men, men go through all kinds of pain, near death and death for women.

I recommend reading the metaphysics of sex by Julius Evola, I may be enlightening for you.

Can I say in my experience supplements help your life in only a very oblique manner, they do not solve any problems that might be called spiritual or practical life problems.

Get off your **** and work. Do something. Get out of your house. Try to win her back. Such cliche advice but it is true. He said he's also wrapped up in a kind of "existential crisis." Well, undoubtedly that has a lot to do with not having responsibility giving him some purpose.

Be wary of conflating the role of nutrition and spiritual problems, if you will. It is fascinating subject to see the role of serotonin/estrogen in things, etc. But people on this forum err on the side of seeing the world's ills through that lens, even when it is mostly a theoretical thing. I don't mean only this thread, it comes up a lot. "When your only tool is a hammer, everything starts looking like a nail."

I get it, "be a man" ain't politically correct.

I honestly don't know how that touches such a nerve these days. It is useful precisely when things are tough - whether that is women troubles, hard work, danger or any other difficult time. Nobody gets accolades or rewarded when they act like a man in the easy times. Take that and smoke it in your Evola pipe.

 

[kyle]

To add - Ashoka, I can tell you're smart by the way you write. You know very well what I meant by 'be a man.' If anything it is a back-handed compliment as I wouldn't write that if I didn't think it were in you to do such a thing, right? For whatever that is worth coming from a random person on a forum.

"I admit that the end of romantic relationships are a personal weakness."

That's true for everyone. And all men are born with that struggle of "being a man" too.

And Benyamin, I don't doubt that women can have that affect! I don't need Evola to tell me that.

 

[Ashoka]

That post your replying to was disgraceful and the poster is confused about men and women demonstrated by the post and so does the culture we come from, its a huge problem. Real men do not post things telling another man to stop moaning over women. History knows that women can and absolutely destroy men, mostly the manliest of men, men go through all kinds of pain, near death and death for women.

I recommend reading the metaphysics of sex by Julius Evola, I may be enlightening for you.

That definitely rings true. I'll check it out, thanks.

To add - Ashoka, I can tell you're smart by the way you write. You know very well what I meant by 'be a man.' If anything it is a back-handed compliment as I wouldn't write that if I didn't think it were in you to do such a thing, right? For whatever that is worth coming from a random person on a forum.

"I admit that the end of romantic relationships are a personal weakness."

That's true for everyone. And all men are born with that struggle of "being a man" too.

And Benyamin, I don't doubt that women can have that affect! I don't need Evola to tell me that.

Thanks for believing that possibility is in me and motivating me to do something, then. I'm going to have to really push myself to believe in hope and possibilities now more than ever.

 

[nwo2012]

I think many have been devastated after relationships end. You need to put it into perspective.
Many feel things such as "I will never meet someone as great", "I will never love like this again", or "what is the point in trying again," etc. But many of us, now many years later, find ourselves married to our soulmate with the most amazing children.
I.e it will get better again, it may take some time though.
Chin up, you have your whole life to look forward to. Life is a relatively short experience, make the most of it.

 

[lacto man]

I ended a relationship over four months ago and I feel like it was an awful mistake, but I know it’s too late to go back. I actually broke her trust by trying that already before working through my own issues. My ex is devastatingly beautiful and we had so much in common. I’m completely destroyed. All I’ve done since I ended it is dig myself deeper into a place I can’t see out of. And on top of it all I deal with PFS and Lyme disease symptoms. But losing this relationship is worse than those things to me.

I don’t want to scare anyone who has problems similar to mine if they end up reading this. I was actually feeling significantly better before this relationship, and really felt I was on a good path. Maybe on the route to being fully better (hence being reading to be in a relationship). But I still suffered from depression and dissatisfaction in the relationship that I didn’t understand and chose to end it in most likely very poor judgement.

I’ve lost probably thirty pounds since this started, and I was already underweight. I went from over 150lbs to 120lbs. I’m sure this is damaging my health in ways unknown to me, staying in a stressed, malnourished state for this long. I just don’t know how to bounce back. I wake up in physical and emotional pain every morning. I think about her with someone else. Months later and I can’t look at another woman and I have no motivation to act. I can’t sleep normal hours and no one really knows how to help me or what to tell me, and I don’t have the answers. I’ve never felt more lost.. Not even after illness did I feel this lost. I always believed I could recover what was lost after illness. This cannot be recovered because it is true loss, and one I brought upon myself out of confusion.

Dopamine. Your body creates a ton of it when you are in love, but that system virtually shuts down when you break up. There are many supplements like Sam-E that boost your body''s production of dopamine. Give it a shot.

 

[thomas00]

Date lots of other women. Lots. If your ex sees you with one she might get jealous. If she doesn't, you won't care anyway because you'll be dating lots of other women. Lots. New relationships can give you a different perspective on things. Chatting, dating and flirting is fun play.




Mirtazapine, Lisuride, Tianeptine, Cyproheptadine, Aspirin, Androsterone, Adamantane, 5α-DHP if you're in a deep hole. Not all together though obviously

 

[Dhair]

Date lots of other women. Lots. If your ex sees you with one she might get jealous. If she doesn't, you won't care anyway because you'll be dating lots of other women. Lots. New relationships can give you a different perspective on things. Chatting, dating and flirting is fun play.




Mirtazapine, Lisuride, Tianeptine, Cyproheptadine, Aspirin, Androsterone, Adamantane, 5α-DHP if you're in a deep hole. Not all together though obviously

This is basically exactly what I was going to say.
And mirtazapine might be perfect for him right now given the weight loss and depression.

 

[Spartan300]

@Ashoka You will also have good and bad days & it's worth being aware that the bad days can sneak up on you when you think you're moving on.

Just knowing it happens that way can help too. Hopefully the good days will start outnumbering the bad ones soon.

 

[Ashoka]

I think many have been devastated after relationships end. You need to put it into perspective.
Many feel things such as "I will never meet someone as great", "I will never love like this again", or "what is the point in trying again," etc. But many of us, now many years later, find ourselves married to our soulmate with the most amazing children.
I.e it will get better again, it may take some time though.
Chin up, you have your whole life to look forward to. Life is a relatively short experience, make the most of it.

Thanks, I appreciate it.

 

[Ashoka]

Dopamine. Your body creates a ton of it when you are in love, but that system virtually shuts down when you break up. There are many supplements like Sam-E that boost your body''s production of dopamine. Give it a shot.

I believe my dopamine is messed up big time. I thought about trying tyrosine, p5p, theanine. Some combination like that. But honestly it’s just going to be like a bandaid covering a broken limb. I have PFS and Lyme disease and they both have serious neurological implications. PFS interferes with GABA, DHT, and allopregnanolone in the brain.

I also notice in rare moments of acceptance of the situation, however, like when I feel like I made the right choice to walk away I feel at peace very quickly for a short while until I start thinking differently a few hours later.

Date lots of other women. Lots. If your ex sees you with one she might get jealous. If she doesn't, you won't care anyway because you'll be dating lots of other women. Lots. New relationships can give you a different perspective on things. Chatting, dating and flirting is fun play.



Mirtazapine, Lisuride, Tianeptine, Cyproheptadine, Aspirin, Androsterone, Adamantane, 5α-DHP if you're in a deep hole. Not all together though obviously

Thanks. I’m not really in a great position to date, and if I did it could intensify my regret if I felt myself comparing everyone I met to her. I don’t really know what the answer is.

I’ve taken cypro almost every day for over a year. I’m not sure it’s good for the dopamine issues. I have tianeptine sulfate, but I’m concerned about causing liver damage. I also heard mirtazapine can affect the heart. I could consider lisuride and 5a-DHP. Don’t know much about Adamantane yet.

This is basically exactly what I was going to say.
And mirtazapine might be perfect for him right now given the weight loss and depression.

Is it worth being concerned about the heart-related issues with mirtazapine? I didn’t know it helped with weight loss.

@Ashoka You will also have good and bad days & it's worth being aware that the bad days can sneak up on you when you think you're moving on.

Just knowing it happens that way can help too. Hopefully the good days will start outnumbering the bad ones soon.

I’ve gotten myself stuck because I ended the relationship and I still suffer ambivalence. It’s like I can’t decide if it was actually a good decision or not and there’s no real clarity. I think I may have had ROCD (Relationship OCD) and proceeded to catastrophize and pull away in moments that didn’t make sense. I wasn’t looking for what was working but what wasn’t. I relied on a “gut instinct” that things were wrong, because people generally tell you to go with your gut on these things, but those instincts are often a result of past experiences. I’ve had panic disorder and I know my response to anxiety seems to make me distort the severity of situations. I’ve come to realize I probably have an avoidant personality. I also probably have dopamine related issues that led me to feel dissatisfied. When you have all these problems going on at once, it’s hard to tell right or wrong.

 

[mayweatherking]

dont chase, replace