Hello, I've been watching this forum for a long time and it is truly a goldmine of information. Lately I have been having a problem. I can't really describe what i'm feeling but I am naturally a social and happy person, but i feel like my social skills are slipping away. I actually don't know who i am anymore and my self esteem has gone signifanctly lower because of this. I lost a really close relative recently, approximately 8 months ago and I think this has some impact on me. I had some leftover b-complex and that seemed to help me. I feel like i'm stuck in fight or flight even when i'm at home. Sometimes i cry and i feel better after that so it could have something to do with trapped emotions. All feedback is appreciated. Thanks guys
-
By using this site you agree to the terms, rules, and privacy policy.
-
Charlie's Restoration Giveaway #2 (Entire Home EMF Mitigation & Protection Along With Personal Protection) - Click Here To Enter
-
Dear Carnivore Dieters, A Muscle Meat Only Diet is Extremely Healing Because it is a Low "vitamin A" Diet. This is Why it Works so Well...
Rest the rest of this post by clicking here
-
The Forum is transitioning to a subscription-based membership model - Click Here To Read
Click Here if you want to upgrade your account
If you were able to post but cannot do so now, send an email to admin at raypeatforum dot com and include your username and we will fix that right up for you.
Feeling Dissociated
- Thread starter bram
- Start date
Constatine
Member
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2016
- Messages
- 1,781
First things first avoid binging on anything to avoid your pain. Nofap is necessary here to re-sensitize your dopamine and androgen receptors to subtle stimuli (to regain emotions and stability). I also recommend 5a-DHP as people say it has incredible benefits for emotional health.
Allright should i stop binging on netflix and the internet?. And do you have any advice to increase 5a dho naturally
Constatine
Member
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2016
- Messages
- 1,781
Yes stop binging on the Internet, but that doesn't mean you need to completely avoid it. Just don't spend hours in front of a computer. As for 5a-dho increasing progesterone will increase it but progesterone is somewhat anti-androgenic while 5a-dho is androgenic. Increasing 5-ar will also increase 5a-dho I believe. But there is definitely not a better way of increasing it than supplementing it.
Oke, I can't get acces to 5a dhp but i will do my best to increase DHT. Will do nofap and avoiding sexually stimuli. Are there any other things i could do?
Integra
Member
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2016
- Messages
- 118
A natural reaction to loss is grief, which can sometimes encompass unbarable sadness. If those emotions are too strong for you to handle at this moment in life, or if you are holding some kind of a taboo about how things should be, or how you should behave, you might reject reality around you.
To me, the most recent attack of dissociation came about when I left home permanently, and escaped the intense influence of a very unhealthy family dynamic. After a while, the world started looking like a picture book--I could notice things, people, and objects, but nothing would really move me. I wasn't really depressed either, I had periods of gentle happiness or sadness, but overall, the world seem like an illustration of itself rather than reality.
It's natural to grieve because a part of you did in fact die when you lost your relative. However, that sadness could have additionally triggered an old unresolved loss, which now acts like a salt on your wound and makes it almost impossible to process; and in your case, to face the situation at all, it seems. Perhaps you feel that there is something that shouldn't have happened, something that you shouldn't feel or do, and this disagreement with reality manifests itself in your rejection of it. Though I understand that this a very difficult time for you, it's also a perfect opportunity to find answers to such questions and discover taboos that have locked you emotionally.
Yet how do you snap out of it, when you don't really feel anything or particularly want to do anything? There's really nothing to do at first but become more honest with yourself. I changed my attitude and decided that I would feel whatever I feel without questioning if it's moral or appropriate, and not feel whatever I think I'm supposed to feel. Get real with yourself like that. If you feel nothing, then feel nothing, observe this shitty place in your life and realize that to say it should be otherwise is making a demand on reality to conform to you, instead of making it the other way round. The difference is huge: you may wish to feel more, you may wish for things to be different, you may wish to understand yourself... Soon enough, you'll notice your heart is filled with unfulfilled wishes. And wishing is what makes you human, and it brings about a lot of pain. What I did afterwards was to get moving, physically and mentally. Grief morphed into guilt, then into shame, then into anger, then regressed to anxiety, then back up to anger, then down to grief... But I did feel a lot, and the feelings were real.
What happened in the following period was very confusing. I got panic attacks out of nowhere, triggered by most mundane occurrences, yet not regularly, so it was very frustrating. Blushing, heart palpitations, heaviness in my chest, heavy legs, dizziness, furious rage, you name it--I experienced it. It does make you question reality because after a while you realize your ability to self-evaluate and evaluate others is impaired. But you need to plow through this confusion. The way out of hell is through it, not around it. I'm not quite sure how I will feel when I get out of bed each day, but I stopped denying whatever appeared and went about my life. For me it came down to the choice of being an automaton or being absolutely miserable or flat. I chose the latter, which opened me up to moments of real happiness. But each day is a struggle. But it's a great struggle. My problems are real, and it takes courage for me to live honestly with myself. Selfish, self-absorbed, guilty, broken, nervous, doesn't matter!!! ***t gets done, and I knew I was getting better when I started spontaneously wishing for this or that, started smelling things (my sense of smell is the first thing to go when I hit a depression), and just became more open to life.
My advice to you is to keep doing whatever you're doing, create some routine tasks you need consistency to accomplish, then swear to wake up no matter how you feel, and feel whatever you feel whenever an emotion comes your way. You will also find some great advice on this forum as to what to eat, how when, but those are all minor adjustments. Those are things to be tweaked. Your number 1 task is to promise you will take a particular action BEFORE the feelings of confusing punishment come about. And to feel all of your feelings, because you have very good reasons to feel them, even though they may not always make conscious sense.
Remember you don't have to do it perfectly, but you have to do it honestly, for your sake.
To me, the most recent attack of dissociation came about when I left home permanently, and escaped the intense influence of a very unhealthy family dynamic. After a while, the world started looking like a picture book--I could notice things, people, and objects, but nothing would really move me. I wasn't really depressed either, I had periods of gentle happiness or sadness, but overall, the world seem like an illustration of itself rather than reality.
It's natural to grieve because a part of you did in fact die when you lost your relative. However, that sadness could have additionally triggered an old unresolved loss, which now acts like a salt on your wound and makes it almost impossible to process; and in your case, to face the situation at all, it seems. Perhaps you feel that there is something that shouldn't have happened, something that you shouldn't feel or do, and this disagreement with reality manifests itself in your rejection of it. Though I understand that this a very difficult time for you, it's also a perfect opportunity to find answers to such questions and discover taboos that have locked you emotionally.
Yet how do you snap out of it, when you don't really feel anything or particularly want to do anything? There's really nothing to do at first but become more honest with yourself. I changed my attitude and decided that I would feel whatever I feel without questioning if it's moral or appropriate, and not feel whatever I think I'm supposed to feel. Get real with yourself like that. If you feel nothing, then feel nothing, observe this shitty place in your life and realize that to say it should be otherwise is making a demand on reality to conform to you, instead of making it the other way round. The difference is huge: you may wish to feel more, you may wish for things to be different, you may wish to understand yourself... Soon enough, you'll notice your heart is filled with unfulfilled wishes. And wishing is what makes you human, and it brings about a lot of pain. What I did afterwards was to get moving, physically and mentally. Grief morphed into guilt, then into shame, then into anger, then regressed to anxiety, then back up to anger, then down to grief... But I did feel a lot, and the feelings were real.
What happened in the following period was very confusing. I got panic attacks out of nowhere, triggered by most mundane occurrences, yet not regularly, so it was very frustrating. Blushing, heart palpitations, heaviness in my chest, heavy legs, dizziness, furious rage, you name it--I experienced it. It does make you question reality because after a while you realize your ability to self-evaluate and evaluate others is impaired. But you need to plow through this confusion. The way out of hell is through it, not around it. I'm not quite sure how I will feel when I get out of bed each day, but I stopped denying whatever appeared and went about my life. For me it came down to the choice of being an automaton or being absolutely miserable or flat. I chose the latter, which opened me up to moments of real happiness. But each day is a struggle. But it's a great struggle. My problems are real, and it takes courage for me to live honestly with myself. Selfish, self-absorbed, guilty, broken, nervous, doesn't matter!!! ***t gets done, and I knew I was getting better when I started spontaneously wishing for this or that, started smelling things (my sense of smell is the first thing to go when I hit a depression), and just became more open to life.
My advice to you is to keep doing whatever you're doing, create some routine tasks you need consistency to accomplish, then swear to wake up no matter how you feel, and feel whatever you feel whenever an emotion comes your way. You will also find some great advice on this forum as to what to eat, how when, but those are all minor adjustments. Those are things to be tweaked. Your number 1 task is to promise you will take a particular action BEFORE the feelings of confusing punishment come about. And to feel all of your feelings, because you have very good reasons to feel them, even though they may not always make conscious sense.
Remember you don't have to do it perfectly, but you have to do it honestly, for your sake.
Integra
Member
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2016
- Messages
- 118
Maybe you like to read! Maybe you want to understand trauma intellectually first. In that case, you may want to look up books by Alexander Lowen, Peter Levine, Carl Rogers, etc... I highly recommend "Narcissism" by Lowen, even though the title might be misleading. :) All of them have interesting takes on trauma. Otherwise, I licked salt, ate frequently to keep my blood sugar up, made sure to spend time in the sun to the extend possible, and made some shitty art.
Xisca
Member
Most people here already know I am trainned in his technique, and though it seems to be done for big traumas, no it works for all. it also brought to me a big understanding of ourselves and how to deal with daily issues, to avoid more trauma.
Xisca
Member
Those skills depend on the ventral branch of the vagus nerve, and it is called social engagement.
All mammels use those skills and group themselves to co-regulate their nervous systems, which it does tthen by itself.
Those skills go away in dissotiation because the dorso vagal is activated instead of the ventro vagal.
So, you can also try to chose the social relationships you are able to feel, even if little.
As you said, you are triggered by loss, I think you are right.
Thus you take distance maybe to protect yourself from being hurt by loss.
If we do not bind and relate, then we suffer less of abandonment, seperations!
This is automatic, you noticed it just happened....
You cannot force it, but you can become aware of it, and try to reach the maximum level of relationship that is really comfortable, and build on it.
I mean you really have to feel it and not pass the threashold of comfort, very important.
Or, when you get a strange feeling from social relationship, feel it and LIVE the feeling at sensation level. You might discharge some overwhealming sensations. Your body will choose to do this only if in trust with the person to BE with you.
And get some help for the mourning process. Maybe read to look for which part was lacking in the process? The process is well known. I just have no reference, and would appreciate any link talking about it.
EMF Mitigation - Flush Niacin - Big 5 Minerals
Similar threads
