Younger Brother/autism

[squanch]

Haha, i've met her. I knew her before they knew eachother lol. Not sure about the kissing tho

Well I'll be damned. He might just be autistic after all

 

[Constatine]

Sounds exactly like me when I was his age. I can almost guarantee you it has nothing to do with autism.
His nutrition is nowhere near adequate to support a growing 16 year old male and pretty much everything about his lifestyle is extremely destructive. Without actually knowing him, I can already tell that his social life is basically nonexistent; his love life is definitely non existent and the sexual frustration will be through the roof. This will fuel the whole toxic Hikikomori lifestyle even more of course.


So the advice I would give to him is the same advice I would give to myself at this age:

1. Eat more nutrient and calorie dense foods. A LOT more. You can probably double your current calorie intake over the course of a few months. Drink liquid calories and eat a tablespoon of honey and coconut oil after each meal when you're full to get those calories up. Aim for 3500kcal-4000kcal. Stop being a little b**** with the whole "I don't like this"and "I'm not hungry". You're not eating because it's fun, you're eating to support a healthy and strong body.
Include oysters and liver in your diet and identify any potentially allergenic foods to get the acne under control. Some vitamin supplementation may be necessary in the beginning after years of under eating.
2. Start lifting weights. Any full body workout 3x / week will do. For example.
You will never naturally have the hormone profile that you have now again, take advantage of this.
3. Stop masturbating. It will tremendously improve confidence and energy levels.
4. Work on your general appearance and take care of yourself (haircut, clothing, grooming, body language, eye contact, etc...)
5. Stop sitting in your room all day and force yourself to go out and be more social. Talk to people, even if it's hard in the beginning.

If he doesn't do those things now, it will be extremely hard in the future.
Just like myself, he will probably ignore any advice I've just given and think "things will just work themselves out on their own". They won't, it will only get worse.

Good advice. Might I add that if he eats a lot more calories suddenly without improving activity levels he could develop stomach, liver, and mitochondrial problems. Hiking would be great (assuming you live in a place with hiking trails) if he doesn't want to do strength training.
Masturbation is a huge tax on the system that seems to have systematic effects beyond what many think possible. But it is very difficult getting someone in his situation to stop masturbating. I just don't know how you would do it.

He has always been shy/anxious/poor appetite etc. When i was a kid i was always outside, playing and making friends but he never joined. He was quiet and would rather play inside or watch tv. I think to protect himself from more stress. However, during puberty it got a lot worse. Doesn't socialize, when i have a friend over he doesn't say hi when he sees my friend, just acts like no ones there. Locks himself in his room.

His diet for the past few days was basically:

2 bags of potato chips, some potatoes once, lots of coke/other sugary drinks/redbull and some bread. He barely eats, mostly liquid calories. Very low nutrients in his food if any

I dont think he has any allergies, never tested though. I was talking to my mom about it but she can't handle him and tells me to leave it alone. He is a lot bigger than her so she's kinda scared because when you tell him something he doesn't like, for example she tells him or asks him to go outside more or whatever, he gets mad and can react pretty angry which scares her a lot because of things that happened to her in the past. He only does this to people he knows he can handle, females mostly since hes very tall and quite strong. He won't ever talk like that to our older brother or male adults.

Yeah he is extremely nutrient deficient. They sell a tasty liver pate at Safeway that is really good with crackers. It has a decent amount of pufa in it but its worth it. He absolutely needs liver to get better.

 

[Constatine]

Well I'll be damned. He might just be autistic after all

lol

 

[Thoushant]

Nutritional Influences on Aggressive Behavior
He could probably benefit from a good diet.

Autism is a spectrum, and either having a girlfriend and kissing, or lying about to you mom kinda shows he's aware of the typical situations and expectations.
But why would he have the need to lie about this, to his mom, and he is 16?

I relate somewhat to how he is when I was 16.
At age 23 I started to work on my emotions, they finally started to weigh me down enough, and caused me anxiety.
There is so much I had put off dealing with, and I will tell you about those related to my family:

I found out I had resentment and alienation towards my parents, and I wasn't anywhere the confrontational guy to talk to them about it, but I would often snap at minor stuff, because I always reached a limit.

At this age, I can see what they said and did was at the end to help me. But while it was happening it nowhere felt like it, because I didn't feel heard, I would typically state my troubles and solutions or criticism would come my way. Very few times would I get a "oh man that sucks, **** whoever" or anything relating/ confirming my emotions. It would usually be "what if you misread the situation wrong aka "what if the bully really is trying to befriend you? :)" from my mom, and "it's your fault for letting XXX do that" from my dad.

This is the reason why I eventually stopped sharing troubles with my family, no one listened, they would misunderstood and then whole new subjects had to be dealt with on top of my primary troubles. So I stopped telling. Social realtionsships around my parents suffered, because of that too. I wasn't in a position to share why I acted a certain way etc, so my solution was "just get by" around them.

So my advice is to try to set a time off to see things from his perspective, what is it he needs/ wants from you, and what are you giving him in return. He is a teenager, your advice on going out etc etc might come off as judgemental and criticizing, then offcourse he would be angry.
I think you have to take care of his self esteem, without being patronizing, so listening to his troubles, giving him time off, and mostly stating things in a non threatening manner... without being patronizing. I'm not blaming you, I just think your brother might not be in sharing emotions position, and so you have to imagine what he might have to put up with, with the family

 

[Daniel11]

Haha, i've met her. I knew her before they knew eachother lol. Not sure about the kissing tho

It would be important for him to spend as little time under florescent lights as possible especially the compact florescent bulbs, besides leaking mercury the overly blue spectrums they emit can really negatively effect brain functioning and even more so for people that are at a sensitive stage in their life.

What kind of lights does he have in his room…

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mental-wealth/201409/why-cfls-arent-such-bright-idea

Between school and work he is already spending so much of his day under lights that are making things worse for him, his room should have more red spectrum lighting.

Also nicotine would quickly help his brain and body, along with helping him feel much more confident, clear and motivated to help himself.

Is Nicotine Bad? 28 Proven Health Effects of Nicotine - Selfhacked

Pixotine - The Original Nicotine Toothpick - Have One Anywhere Anytime


*Better to keep him away from medical labels like autism and medications they will make things worse in the long run.

 

[Daniel11]

I wanted to clarify when i am talking about medical labels and medications, this is in regards to your brothers situation at his age with potential diagnosis of autism spectrum and ADHD as these are based on behavioral and symptom analysis and can often have a wide range of opinions, judgments and implications and is widely over diagnosed and over medicated, without ever addressing the fundamental nutritional and environmental causes.

If there was a true structure function condition like type 1 diabetes then the person absolutely must take medication like insulin to stay alive.