HELP! Homeschooling a toddler with "ADHD"

[Bozidar]

In my defense I was walking outside when reading and replying to posts so I see now I didn't fully absorb what I read! Yeah kids wanna do what they wanna do, I would let them lead the homeschooling process mostly

I am sorry, are you being sarcastic?

 

[chrstn4o]

I am sorry, are you being sarcastic?

No, sarcasm doesn't carry well over the internet. I was walking my dog so didn't read the OP very closely before I answered. Defo am of the opinion kids learn best when left to their own devices and are just given the support and encouragement as needed. My kid comes to me to ask me what things in the book are, otherwise I'm not "teaching" her because I decided she must now learn this or that.

 

[BNH345521]

It sounds like your schooling approach is based on rote memory - typical for a school setting, but maybe very ambitious for a little kid (4 is very young for any type of formal schooling!) and especially one who seems to show focus issues.

First question is, are there things he does focus on? Any toy or activity that can captivate his focus for an extended period of time (1/2 - 1 hour say)? It is hard to draw conclusions from a brief description on a forum, but I have 4 kids, all homeschooled at some time or another ;-)

I would say don't ask for rote regurgitation. That's only proof that he effectively committed something to memory, and his brain may not be ready for that yet. At this age, make most of the focus engaging him in working with you at whatever you are doing. For example, getting an 'educational' wall calendar, (Here's just an example Amazon product ASIN B093PZ1CM9View: https://www.amazon.com/WATINC-Calendar-Felt-Board-Bulletin-Preschool/dp/B093PZ1CM9/ref=sr_1_3?crid=25UNJFDTQQ0KU&keywords=preschool+educational+wall+calendar&qid=1694452181&sprefix=educational+calendar+for+p%2Caps%2C306&sr=8-3
) and make a daily practice of having him help you set it for the day. Engagement, repetition and application. And instead of telling him to recite the days of the week, you find that you will say "yesterday was Monday, so today is ..." and he'll tell you.

That's what he needs right now. Learning by doing - WITH you. Forget standardized study. Use the curriculum books only if you find them helpful, and enjoyable for him.

Here are some more resources:

Early education Harmful: Don't Push Little Ones To Learn

Early education Harmful: Early instruction is damaging to toddlers and preschoolers.

www.thehomeschoolmom.com

"Home Education" by Charlotte Mason - Specifically the education of Children under 9 years of age. https://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/71087/pg71087-images.html

Thank you so much!

 

[iLoveSugar]

People, what is the matter with you? There is no such thing as ADAD.
Its a made up term to justify forcing someone to do something he is not interested in to.
He is 5 years old. Does he really need to know which day of the week is?
It is not relevant for him at all. That's why he is not interested. He could care less. He is not going to work, not having an appointment or anything else. He is 5. He could care less.

Ask him how many cars is he playing with, which color are they and such things.
Stop abusing your child.
What an insanity...

Stop abusing your child? Dude, who are you to tell someone you have no idea about to stop abusing their child? Because they are trying to follow a curriculum in this ****88 up world we live in? And are on here trying to find answers?

We live in a ****88 up world where you have to comply with systems or jeopardize child services getting involved.

You may have some good ideas, but the choice of words telling someone to stop abusing their child is ludicrous.

 

[Bozidar]

Stop abusing your child? Dude, who are you to tell someone you have no idea about to stop abusing their child? Because they are trying to follow a curriculum in this ****88 up world we live in? And are on here trying to find answers?

We live in a ****88 up world where you have to comply with systems or jeopardize child services getting involved.

You may have some good ideas, but the choice of words telling someone to stop abusing their child is ludicrous.

How would you call it?
ADHD?

Looks like someone is having a Stockholm syndrome here.

 

[iLoveSugar]

How would you call it?
ADHD?

Looks like someone is having a Stockholm syndrome here.

The only "insanity" is you judging and ridiculing someone in which you've never met.

Hope you find some inner peace, buddy! See ya.

 

[BNH345521]

Stop abusing your child? Dude, who are you to tell someone you have no idea about to stop abusing their child? Because they are trying to follow a curriculum in this ****88 up world we live in? And are on here trying to find answers?

We live in a ****88 up world where you have to comply with systems or jeopardize child services getting involved.

You may have some good ideas, but the choice of words telling someone to stop abusing their child is ludicrous.

Agreed. I reported him. Hopefully someone will do something about it. AND this is exactly why we chose homeschooling for stupid people like him! Genuinely asking for others advice, not criticism. But I appreciate you for sticking up for others! I didn't know teaching my child basics in life was abuse!

 

[Bozidar]

Agreed. I reported him. Hopefully someone will do something about it. AND this is exactly why we chose homeschooling for stupid people like him! Genuinely asking for others advice, not criticism. But I appreciate you for sticking up for others! I didn't know teaching my child basics in life was abuse!

OMG
What an insanity...
Its like a web of abuse. You pull on one string, the whole web shakes.
Exactly what happened to me as a child, I was abused systemically, but I had no power since I was a child.
Now I am a grown up and I will uncover you all.

I called nobody stupid, you have.

You still dont get it. 5 year old child is to young to learn about days, weeks, months...
It doesn't even know when is yesterday or tomorrow, although you could start there if he is interested of course.
Would you expect for a little child to have sex?
His testicles haven come down from the belly, it doesn't have a proper hormonal profile which would facilitate arousal...
Its that kind of a thing. You get it?
5 year old is not capable of conceptualizing days, weeks and so on.

Lets see whom will admins help.
I hope they stand on my side and support uncovering this web of abuse.
There is nothing more that enrages me then people trying to force other people against their will. Especially on helpless children...

 

[tokimaturi]

I understand the worry and feeling the need to make your child to learn all the "necessary" skills. I think research shows quite clearly that a 5 year old is too young for formal education. There was a study (I might try to look for it later) that shower children were ready to learn to read formally at age 7-10 depending on the child. Now that's formal education. Meaning you tell a child what to learn and control the way they study. If a child learns to read on their own it doesn't matter how young they are. Formal education in the UK starts at 3 years old and learning disabilities increase every time they make it earlier. They have some 2.5% learning disabilities which I think is about the highest in the world.

It has been found that children never fall behind in learning from their peers even when they start much later. Forest schools (kindergarten mostly) are a good example of this. Children just play and explore the woods without any formal education or classroom days.

Personally, I don't think formal education is good or necessary for children at all. Interest should direct learning in children. And that doesn't mean you can't direct it as long as the child's interest follows but it should never be forced. Every time we try to force children to learn something we limit their development. There is no adult or teen who doesn't know things like the days of the week. And there's really no advantage on learning them earlier rather than later. They will learn them when they're ready to.

Contrary to popular belief though, I do think rote memorization can be useful and beneficial. However you still need genuine interest to accompany it. In children this usually needs to take the form of a game or a song.

I recommend looking into unschooling. But be aware that it's more of a way of looking at learning and education rather than a set method despite how many people portray it. What really started it is a book called Deschooling Society by Ivan Illich.

Good luck, I'm sure he will grow up just fine.

 

[BNH345521]

OMG
What an insanity...
Its like a web of abuse. You pull on one string, the whole web shakes.
Exactly what happened to me as a child, I was abused systemically, but I had no power since I was a child.
Now I am a grown up and I will uncover you all.

I called nobody stupid, you have.

You still dont get it. 5 year old child is to young to learn about days, weeks, months...
It doesn't even know when is yesterday or tomorrow, although you could start there if he is interested of course.
Would you expect for a little child to have sex?
His testicles haven come down from the belly, it doesn't have a proper hormonal profile which would facilitate arousal...
Its that kind of a thing. You get it?
5 year old is not capable of conceptualizing days, weeks and so on.

Lets see whom will admins help.
I hope they stand on my side and support uncovering this web of abuse.
There is nothing more that enrages me then people trying to force other people against their will. Especially on helpless children...

First off, you are putting what happened to you as a child to everyone on the internet. It's the way you say things and come off as a "bully" No one is abusing you. You put this on yourself by TELLING ME I was abusing my child when you have no idea what goes on in my life and what type of life my child lives. No one is forcing no one to do anything. Sorry for wanting to teach my child the basics of life. The whole point of us homeschooling him was so he can learn a different style of education because the school systems are going downhill. We wanted to open his eyes to new things and learn about the world and animals and such. Not the typical American teaching ways. Yes there are some things that I do want him to learn in the basic world, but it doesn't mean I am forcing him to 100% learn these things. MY WHOLE POINT, was that he just doesn't want to sit down and focus PERIOD.

 

[BNH345521]

I understand the worry and feeling the need to make your child to learn all the "necessary" skills. I think research shows quite clearly that a 5 year old is too young for formal education. There was a study (I might try to look for it later) that shower children were ready to learn to read formally at age 7-10 depending on the child. Now that's formal education. Meaning you tell a child what to learn and control the way they study. If a child learns to read on their own it doesn't matter how young they are. Formal education in the UK starts at 3 years old and learning disabilities increase every time they make it earlier. They have some 2.5% learning disabilities which I think is about the highest in the world.

It has been found that children never fall behind in learning from their peers even when they start much later. Forest schools (kindergarten mostly) are a good example of this. Children just play and explore the woods without any formal education or classroom days.

Personally, I don't think formal education is good or necessary for children at all. Interest should direct learning in children. And that doesn't mean you can't direct it as long as the child's interest follows but it should never be forced. Every time we try to force children to learn something we limit their development. There is no adult or teen who doesn't know things like the days of the week. And there's really no advantage on learning them earlier rather than later. They will learn them when they're ready to.

Contrary to popular belief though, I do think rote memorization can be useful and beneficial. However you still need genuine interest to accompany it. In children this usually needs to take the form of a game or a song.

I recommend looking into unschooling. But be aware that it's more of a way of looking at learning and education rather than a set method despite how many people portray it. What really started it is a book called Deschooling Society by Ivan Illich.

Good luck, I'm sure he will grow up just fine.

I did take someone's advice on here and I am going to incorporate teaching in his language, meaning things he likes but also learning, but not make it feel like learning. I homeschool to give him a different education, not the basic American standard. But the schooling that I am using is nothing compared to regular school. I guess I should of specified that in the beginning. It's a Nature Based study which means he is outside learning about things and animals, plants, bugs, the Earth and the world with a little bit of LA which is reading and learning letters and the understanding of writing. BUT that's not all the schooling is. He needs more hands on activities which is why I went this route! But thank you for the input, he actually is a very smart kid, he just only acts smart when he wants too! haha

 

[Bozidar]

Sorry for wanting to teach my child the basics of life.

Those are basics of your life, not his life. He is 5.

MY WHOLE POINT, was that he just doesn't want to sit down and focus PERIOD.

Yes, and since now we have established why that is, you can make the right choice.

 

[iLoveSugar]

Those are basics of your life, not his life. He is 5.


Yes, and since now we have established why that is, you can make the right choice.

There is no right or wrong. Something right to you doesn't automatically mean that it's right. I am in the camp of let a kid be a kid, and they will learn things when the time is right, but trying to follow a certain curriculum, and wondering why a kid can't focus by no means is abuse.

 

[BNH345521]

Those are basics of your life, not his life. He is 5.


Yes, and since now we have established why that is, you can make the right choice.

Go be a bully somewhere else. Stop taking your childhood trauma out on other people! BYE!

 

[BNH345521]

There is no right or wrong. Something right to you doesn't automatically mean that it's right. I am in the camp of let a kid be a kid, and they will learn things when the time is right, but trying to follow a certain curriculum, and wondering why a kid can't focus by no means is abuse.

Thank you, I took some ACTUAL advice from some people in here, including yours and I am going to change things up a bit by letting him learn with the things he likes but not make it feel like learning in a sense!

 

[Bozidar]

I am in the camp of let a kid be a kid, and they will learn things when the time is right, but trying to follow a certain curriculum, and wondering why a kid can't focus by no means is abuse.

Yes, but its not right to say he has ADHD in his case cause he doesn't. He simply doesn't have the ability to comprehend what is asked from him.

 

[BNH345521]

Yes, but its not right to say he has ADHD in his case cause he doesn't. He simply doesn't have the ability to comprehend what is asked from him.

This would of been a better way of wording what you were trying to say instead of coming down peoples throat saying they abuse their child.

 

[Bozidar]

This would of been a better way of wording what you were trying to say instead of coming down peoples throat saying they abuse their child.

Yes of course. In the title of the thread stands that you have toddler with ADHD. It has already been diagnosed with ADHD is what I could understand and now you are searching for a solution to treat that. I think it doesn't apply in his case. That was my point.

 

[iLoveSugar]

Yes, but its not right to say he has ADHD in his case cause he doesn't. He simply doesn't have the ability to comprehend what is asked from him.

That's true, but we live in a cruel world where these are things being told to us by "authority". Many new folks here are open to switch their ideologies, but the world teaches us so wrong.

 

[akgrrrl]

People, what is the matter with you? There is no such thing as ADAD.
Its a made up term to justify forcing someone to do something he is not interested in to.
He is 5 years old. Does he really need to know which day of the week is?
It is not relevant for him at all. That's why he is not interested. He could care less. He is not going to work, not having an appointment or anything else. He is 5. He could care less.

Ask him how many cars is he playing with, which color are they and such things.
Stop abusing your child.
What an insanity...

THIS. I wasn't going to say anything but since you were brave enough, GOOD GOD what is wrong with people. Take that stupid device away from him and let him be a baby boy. Crack a book yourself----that poor child's brain isn't going to fill his cranial cavity for another 20 years, that's why he needs your kindness, protection, and love!