Hey everybody,
This might be a little long winded, but I am currently fighting daily demons of ptsd & anxiety which is slowly killing me. My sleep is bad, I'm constantly in fight or flight which is ruining my stomach and I'm constantly angry. Ive been chain smoking tobacco & weed to get short term relief from traumatic thoughts of the past. At this point I'm looking into steroids, drugs ECT. Ive tried to fix my diet, but the only thing that brings me some reliefs test boosters and they arent too helpful. I'm at the end of my rope so to speak.
What caused this was when I was younger (I'm 30 now) I was picked on & beaten up badly because I have a stuttering problem & I was good natured. I was actually a very skilled boxer/martial artist from youth but maybe due to low testosterone or a mental blockage I could never effectively use my fighting skills against bullies who targeted me and I was blind sided twice & sent to the hospital from a bully who was enraged that I defended myself. This enraged me also but I couldnt mentally free myself to do up most damage to these ppl for fear of jail or retaliation to my family ect..because of this I hate myself deep down & I never feel safe even years later. Ive always been a target because of the way I am. Even when I was strong, lifing weights & practicing boxing/Jujitsu almost daily..raising my testosterone helped me alot, but there was always a mental block with defending myself & ive had my share of street fights & pain mentally/physically in my youth...now at 30 for some reason its raised its ugly head again & the paranoia, injustice of my past is killing me because I fear I'm still powerless...
I'm hear to ask you guys what diet changes or Androgenic steroids I can try to fix my mind and body so that maybe I can defend my family & myself and have less fear & more confidence. I'm not particularly afraid of death, not with the mental suffering ive experienced. Theres just a part of my mind that wont be fixed no matter what I do even though I'm physically capable. Hopefully certain hormones can help me maybe.
If you read this far I appreciate it, for anyone that knows what PTSD is like its hell on earth that nobody should experience.
Anyway if you have any advice for me thanks for the help as always.
This might be a little long winded, but I am currently fighting daily demons of ptsd & anxiety which is slowly killing me. My sleep is bad, I'm constantly in fight or flight which is ruining my stomach and I'm constantly angry. Ive been chain smoking tobacco & weed to get short term relief from traumatic thoughts of the past. At this point I'm looking into steroids, drugs ECT. Ive tried to fix my diet, but the only thing that brings me some reliefs test boosters and they arent too helpful. I'm at the end of my rope so to speak.
What caused this was when I was younger (I'm 30 now) I was picked on & beaten up badly because I have a stuttering problem & I was good natured. I was actually a very skilled boxer/martial artist from youth but maybe due to low testosterone or a mental blockage I could never effectively use my fighting skills against bullies who targeted me and I was blind sided twice & sent to the hospital from a bully who was enraged that I defended myself. This enraged me also but I couldnt mentally free myself to do up most damage to these ppl for fear of jail or retaliation to my family ect..because of this I hate myself deep down & I never feel safe even years later. Ive always been a target because of the way I am. Even when I was strong, lifing weights & practicing boxing/Jujitsu almost daily..raising my testosterone helped me alot, but there was always a mental block with defending myself & ive had my share of street fights & pain mentally/physically in my youth...now at 30 for some reason its raised its ugly head again & the paranoia, injustice of my past is killing me because I fear I'm still powerless...
I'm hear to ask you guys what diet changes or Androgenic steroids I can try to fix my mind and body so that maybe I can defend my family & myself and have less fear & more confidence. I'm not particularly afraid of death, not with the mental suffering ive experienced. Theres just a part of my mind that wont be fixed no matter what I do even though I'm physically capable. Hopefully certain hormones can help me maybe.
If you read this far I appreciate it, for anyone that knows what PTSD is like its hell on earth that nobody should experience.
Anyway if you have any advice for me thanks for the help as always.