Joe's Log

[JCastro]

Peating since November 15, 2016

General diet:
300-500 g carbs
80-120 g protein
100-200 g fat

Foods: Clover honey, grapes, strawberries, apples, commercial fruit juice, OJ, whole milk, coconut juice, cacao chocolate, potato chips made with lard, eggs, string cheese, coconut oil, All-Bran cereal, Great Lakes gelatin, carrots, white sugar, fructose powder, Haagen Dazs ice cream, pizza, fried potatoes, Mexican coke, beef jerkey

19 y.o., 5'11, 160 lbs., 96.6-98.6 F.

Brain fog, depression, anxiety, low motivation, fatigue, derealization, dissociation, visual static, vascular issues, paresthesia, tremor, candida, general body symptoms, no diagnosis except GERD, IBS, "possible bipolar", TSH 3.84, resting HR 120, hypertension, possible POTS, hypersensitive to drugs, cold hands and feet, restless legs, sensitive to light, noise, touch, lower back pain

Lifestyle: Heat lamp, incandescent lamps, orange sunglasses, bag breathing, daily carrots, music, low stress, saying "yes" to more opportunities, slowly introducing activities, soon hope to return to gym, friends, work, school. Chelating possible mercury with Andy Cutler protocol; safe, cheap, trust-worthy.

Supplements (currently restricting all):
1-3 g niacinamide, on hiatus, may have been causing high sedation, Ray said dose too high
100 mg thiamine
5000 IU vitamin D
2 g vitamin C
800 IU vitamin E
100 mg CoQ10
500 mg Lysine
200 mg Theanine
1000 mg Taurine
dollop Pro-Gest cream
B-Complex
50 mg Pregnenolone
325-650 mg aspirin
Cascara sagrada

Medications:
30 mg Mirtazapine, alters consciousness, increases emotions, increases appetite, sedating
20 mg Amphetamine Salts 1-3x, motivating, calming, warmth in belly
Trialed Lamotrigine, caused pseudo-hallucinations
Trialed Aripiprazole, caused akathisia, insomnia
Trialed Lexapro, caused agitation, oversleeping

Cyproheptadine arrived today. Hesitant to try but will eventually. Wondering, if my TSH was 1.x in summer, and 3.8 in fall, what must it be now?

Anxiety decreased since Peating, was running on adrenaline for many years, didn't have the knowledge of nutrition, would focus only on cognitive therapy and meditation. Now hoping energy will come soon and I'll want to socialize.

Tried everything for porn addiction, I think only pregnenolone worked. It shifted things just a bit, first day taking it I rearranged my bedroom furniture, next day day installed the new shower head. This is after months of addiction, no activity, suddenly with preg., despite my fatigue, I start doing things.

Addiction runs in my family. Entire father's side of family are alcoholics, bipolar, angry, eating disorders. Mother's side has dementia, schizophrenia, depression, dysfunctional. Maternal grandma had 13 siblings, lived in the Depression, ate low-calorie pasta and potato diet, gave her permanent low-appetite high serotonin, underweight, now has pseudo-dementia. I think she is hyperparathyroid, the doctors told her to exclude calcium from her diet. She bundles up in winter clothing in the summer.

Always a contrarian, usually rooting for the eccentrics. Realize that most of my pleasure in life came from Nietzschian "overcoming", I read something by Ray where he said the real healing that comes from talk therapy is something like "the introduction of the possibility to make a change" and that struck a chord. I live for that, the growing, evolving, learning, feeling, love it, despite my physical health problems.

Brief periods of spirituality, but mostly not. I feel an emptiness, not a God. So this led me to the emptiness of zen, meditation, guys like Jiddu Krishnamurti, "be a light to yourself".

After many years of restriction (paleo), division (detox), isolation (fasting), alienation ("I can't eat that it's toxic"), there is a change. Through Ray Peat I've found the lifestyle of abundance, of inclusion, addition, more instead of less. Energy.

I was very concerned with low cortisol for a while, scared I would have an adrenal crisis. Lower back pain making me think it's the adrenals aching. Mostly due to listening to Andy Cutler community and their traditional info on "adrenal fatigue". Not having the scientific knowledge myself, wishing I did but, you know, low motivation. Them saying I need to rest more, cannot take Adderall. Their favorite supplement Adrenal Cortex Extract made me speed and then crash with red eyes. I've always been a "one in a million" kind of case. I've rested enough, I need to get on with things. I've been told I focus too much on my health, but it's kind of like, I'll stop focusing on it once I can function enough to enjoy myself...sort of thing. It's difficult to connect with my peers when all I focus on is science, health, and diet, and have chronic fatigue.

For my dry hair, I'm thinking calcium could be needed after years of paleo, and if not that, I may buy some pure T3 to nibble on.

Bought some cans of bamboo for fiber.

 

[tyler]

I took adderall for six years and i have no doubt that it was a major cause of my hypothyroidism/hypogonadism. I know for a fact that it caused severe depression and anger issues. Quitting was the hardest thing I ever did but I don't think I would have recovered if I didn't quit.

Why are you taking it? If you need adderall to assist you with a job or school or something along those lines, I think that's a good sign to reconsider whatever the situation is you're putting yourself through, and not just plow through it via stimulants.

 

[tyler]

Just reread and I can pretty confidently say that the majority of your mental issues are probably caused by the amphetamine.

"Brain fog, depression, anxiety, low motivation, fatigue, derealization, dissociation"

Those are all things I experienced when taking it regularly.

 

[JCastro]

I have been sick for many years and started Adderall only 1 month ago. Using it with an SSRI for a few months in 2010 seemed to precipitate the start of my illness, but I took a 6-year break from it and only worsened so I figure I'll use it occasionally as a relief from anhedonia. It doesn't hype me up, just provides a mild buzz. I'm still tired while using it but that may be a good thing from all this food.

"Brain fog, depression, anxiety, low motivation, fatigue, derealization, dissociation" are present whether I'm on something or not.

 

[JCastro]

What are your tell-tale signs of hypogonadism? I'm probably estrogen dominant as I have gynecomastia, but my testes developed normally and look fine.

 

[JCastro]

Constantly wondering if I am thiamine deficient and have Wernicke's-Korsakoff's syndrome...especially since my MRI showed demyelination.

Using Andy Cutler Protocol with Alpha Lipoic Acid since 2013, 200-800 mg ALA per day in alternating weeks, then I read this:

Animal studies suggest that people who don't get enough thiamine (vitamin B1) should not take alpha-lipoic acid. B1 deficiency is associated with long-term alcohol abuse.

Chronic candida putting me in an alcoholic physiology, depleting thiamine. Also drank a lot last year.

Further, taking alpha-lipoic acid when there is a deficiency of vitamin B1 (thiamine) might result in serious side effects and health issues as alpha lipoic acid reduces thiamine levels when consumed in high doses.

ALA will stop language if your child has a thiamine deficiency. For us, 50 mg of thiamine to correct it, does not cut it at all for getting thiamine levels back. It's a fact that ALA can lower ones thiamine levels. Thiamine deficiency, if severe enough, will cause paralysis of the vocal chords...not only that, wasting and mental disease. It's not always metals getting released, it's a build up of a child not tolerating the chelation because some piece is missing. I also think it's poor advice to just keep going when the kids infections get worse. Another symptom of thiamine deficiency is chronic infections. Not something to take lightly.

In Wernick'es encephalopathy, an altered blood–brain barrier may cause a perturbed response to certain drugs and foods.

My brain and vascular system are hypersensitive to things.

Thiamine is involved in:[34][42]

1. Metabolism of carbohydrates, creating energy.
2. Production of neurotransmitters including glutamic acid and GABA.
3. Lipid metabolism, necessary for myelin production.
4. Amino acid modification. Probably linked to the production of taurine, of great cardiac importance.[43][44]
5. Neuromodulation.[45]

Now, I'm on 100 mg Thiamine HCl per day. Have some sulbutiamine lying around, never took it. It's supposed to absorb in the brain.

Possibly I will megadose the HCl at 300, 500 or 1k mg and/or try sulbutiamine. I wonder if that can deplete other B's.

Haidut: HCl absorbs just fine, sulbutiamine is poisonous, megadoses of 1500 mg HCl 3x per day totaling 4500 mg.

Brain MRI:

There is minimal mucosal thickening in the ethmoid sinuses.

Impression: Nonenhancing focus of increased inversion recovery signal in the white matter adjacent to the posterior body of left lateral ventricle. 2 tiny nonenhancing foci of increased recovery signal in the right parietal white matter. These findings are nonspecific. They could be related to demyelinating process such as multiple sclerosis, Lyme disease, vasculitis, migraine.

I don't get migraines.

 

[JCastro]

I tried 2 mg of cyproheptadine at 1 am and while it did not sedate me as I'm already sedated by the refeeding process and niacinamide, it had a great effect.

I was hit with a profound calm and reassurance similar to meditation. I felt a strong need to stick around in the world. All I wanted to do was get to the park and run. The feeling reminded me of this scene from Twin Peaks.

I had a few quick zaps of pain which I hope were viruses dying off.

Today, I'm tired. My body feels like lead. People on Youreatopia said to give it another week to pass.

Taking aspirin, CoQ10, vitamin D, thiamine, progesterone.

 

[ReSTART]

Don't focus so much on supplements and drugs. Lifestyle, sleep and food are much more important.

Peat strongly recommends against vitamin C supplements.

 

[DaveFoster]

Take 5 mg K2 with your aspirin, dissolve you aspirin in hot water, add 1/2 TSP baking soda, 1 TSP glycine powder, add sugar, let cool, and drink it.

Your vitamin E dosage is fine; you can lower that with time. In a couple years, 200 IU every day will be sufficient if you eat minimal PUFA. For now, 800 IU will not hurt.

1) Do you drink coffee, and if so how much?

2) Your TSH indicates that you would benefit from thyroid.

Pregnenolone and progesterone will both help with addiction, as they respectively lower cortisol and estrogen powerfully.

Cortisol is probably the source of addictive behaviors, while estrogen likely causes depression, but it's hard to delineate the two.

3) How are you reacting to progesterone? How do you administer it?

 

[JCastro]

Don't focus so much on supplements and drugs. Lifestyle, sleep and food are much more important.

Peat strongly recommends against vitamin C supplements.

I'm too tired to do anything almost always.

Take 5 mg K2 with your aspirin, dissolve you aspirin in hot water, add 1/2 TSP baking soda, 1 TSP glycine powder, add sugar, let cool, and drink it.

Your vitamin E dosage is fine; you can lower that with time. In a couple years, 200 IU every day will be sufficient if you eat minimal PUFA. For now, 800 IU will not hurt.

1) Do you drink coffee, and if so how much?

2) Your TSH indicates that you would benefit from thyroid.

Pregnenolone and progesterone will both help with addiction, as they respectively lower cortisol and estrogen powerfully.

Cortisol is probably the source of addictive behaviors, while estrogen likely causes depression, but it's hard to delineate the two.

3) How are you reacting to progesterone? How do you administer it?

1) I introduced 1 cup of Keurig coffee today with sugar and milk. It did not give me energy.

2) I have Natural-throid which is T4+T3 4:1. It gave me an adrenaline reaction the several times I tried it. Perhaps now I will try it since my diet is adequate.

3) I take Emerita Pro-Gest cream. I don't notice much from it but I like to think it helps.

P.S. I am averse to trying thyroid since hearing bad stories and experiencing the reactions. I already have air hunger, fatigue, and seem to be developing fibromyalgia (my skin is hypersensitive and hurts, this started since Peating). I've heard stories of thyroid (cytomel especially) making things like air hunger worse.

I wonder if drastically increasing food intake while hypothyroid can make it worse? That seems to be what is happening unless it's the refeeding phase. Fatigue has doubled.

 

[InChristAlone]

Air hunger is usually high adrenaline bad breathing habits or mag deficiency. Sometimes thyroid makes you use up mag so you have to supp as you increase it.

 

[JCastro]

Thank you Janelle, I did not know that about adrenaline. I practice Buteyko and bag breathing to slow down but old habits are hard to break. I take 200-400 mg Natural Calm mag citrate but perhaps I need more or a different form. I think glycinate goes into the brain better.

 

[ReSTART]

I hope you get better JCastro. Were you always this sick or was there some point where things took a turn for the worse?

 

[JCastro]

Thank you. Around 13 years old, after a few very stressful years, I got sick. But I had subtle gut and histamine problems since birth predisposing this to happen.

Cold turkeying off Zoloft and Adderall seemed to either cause or unmask the beginning of my symptoms.

 

[InChristAlone]

I figured out another cause of feeling jittery and shortness of breath: GERD. I get some water and burp and the feeling goes away. So next time you have shortness of breath try to see if it is excess gas pressing on your diaphragm. Sounds like you are well on your way to healing though with your diet. It will take time. Distraction might be the best option while you heal. Sometimes like in recovering from anorexia symptoms get a lot worse before starting to get better. I have to remind myself that when I go through a period of bad anxiety and then hope that eating more solves it all, but then get set backs.

 

[JCastro]

Funny you say that Janelle. I had some relief from a burp last night and was pleasantly surprised. Another problem solved :)

Going to patiently keep eating and wait for more improvement and waxing and waning. I am so massively improved from where I was 17 days ago. It is crazy when I remember how bad things were. Finding Ray Peat and this forum maybe saved my life. I don't know how things would have turned around without the things I learned from him. And the vast and digestible knowledge on this forum. As I said, I tried so many things that made me worse, I thought I was a goner. The whole world looked ugly. It doesn't anymore.

From 100-200g fat, I've minimized PUFA and reduced saturated fat. Now I'm averaging 40-80g fat, 400-600g carbs, 80-120g protein.
Cyproheptadine and niacinamide are very helpful to me. I am using amphetamine for energy to get me through this adjustment period. I am too tired without it. I'm tolerating it whereas before I didn't. My hypersensitivity to meds... has reduced! I either don't notice it or it's too minimal to notice. It used to drive me nuts! I'm sleeping well. I'm warmer. Only my feet get cold now. Before, my nose, hands, and feet were almost always cold.

Trusting and satisfying my cravings makes life better. I used to crave sugar so, so intensely and denied myself and my gut feeling in the name of health, because "sugar is toxic" and "evil yeast causes sugar cravings".
I denied my gut feeling for so long it stopped feeling. Now it's my job to restore, nourish and trust in it.
I still have ups and downs but not rapid-cycling hypomania which had become common these past several years. Improvement is gradual but all this in 17 days astounds me. Before, it was hard for me to reason why I should live. There was no stability. Now, even when I am very sad I do not entertain death. I'm just sad. It's a healthier, saner sadness. My stress-tolerance must be higher. I am speaking early but I don't think this is a honeymoon phase. I was too sick to have honeymoon phases; treatments simply did nothing. I still have major challenges, work, and recovery ahead of me but just this small improvement is so significant.

 

[JCastro]

Yesterday, the second day after finishing a round of chelation, yeast symptoms worsened as is normal. Never-before-seen redness around the nose and sinus pressure started for which garlic helped.

I experienced some sort of physical crisis last night; possibly die-off. I took my nightly mirtazapine, was sitting under my infrared light, heavily clothed, and became suddenly and unbearably hot which is unusual even with the light since the room is pretty chilly and I usually spend hours under the light comfortably. I was sweating heavily, turned off the light and left the room. Symptoms continued, so I undressed. I was light-headed, still hot, with a cold forehead. To credit my overall progress, the old me would have been panicking. I was pretty calm but concerned. I then had diarrhea. I checked my temperature, and it was fluctuating around 93-95. Lowest reading was 92 something. When it stabilized around 94.5, I called a pharmacist who didn't think it was an emergency. I ate, drank fruit juice, took some garlic, and went to sleep. Today I'm fine. Temp is normal.

Googling "infrared die-off" and "infrared herxeimer" shows many results with similar experiences.

I occasionally take grapefruit seed extract (among other things) for bacteria. An MD assured me that GSE is will not inhibit CYP450 like grapefruit, but I found a study where impurities (benzethonium chloride) in GSE can do this: Adverse effects by artificial grapefruit seed extract products in patients on warfarin therapy.
My GSE seems like a quality brand but I don't know if it's artificial. All 3 GSE brands in the study contained no authentic GSE.

I'm stopping cyproheptadine for now after learning of its dopamine antagonism even at low doses. I'll resume at 2 mg or less. After using 4 mg yesterday at 2 pm, I woke this morning with a feeling of satisfaction and comfort. Maybe this was from dopamine sensitization after prolonged antagonism (a week of 4-12 mg cypro/day) or some unknown infection being cured.

Visited by a friend today, I told him what I am doing and the reasons behind my social withdrawal. Opening up felt good. I was honest about the fact that I have no desire to socialize. I told several other people how I feel, that it's not my choice and that I'm "working on it".

I'm doing more than I was but still not much. I can't bring myself to watch a movie or show, or read a book, and had to put my guitar down after only a few minutes. Lack of motivation, humor, and desire are big remaining problems. Conflicted about which treatment to do with my knowledge of SSRIs and mirtazapine not being effective for my depression. Going to focus on raising androgens.

 

[Blossom]

I'm doing more than I was but still not much. I can't bring myself to watch a movie or show, or read a book, and had to put my guitar down after only a few minutes. Lack of motivation, humor, and desire are big remaining problems. Conflicted about which treatment to do with my knowledge of SSRIs and mirtazapine not being effective for my depression. Going to focus on raising androgens.

This link discusses some options.

Best Supplements For Depression?

I've personally noticed better mood and motivation from pansterone.

 

[JCastro]

Thanks Blossom. Magnesium glycinate arrived today and I've started on 400 mg. Also taking those Bs, and I can up my theanine. Methylene blue is a later resort.

I think the 30 mg mirtazapine is contributing to my strong fatigue since its half-life is 20-40 hours. I'm calling my doctor to ask about tapering off. I need to be energized, not sedated and I appreciate the philosophy here of using things in small maintenance doses as opposed to every day.

Patient.info: Should i come off mirtazapine? Tired all the time

I found I was very groggy and ridiculously tired when I was on the 30mg.

My psychiatrist was the only one that told me that when you get into the higher doses it looses it's sedating effect and, in fact, doesn't allow us to get into a deep enough sleep at night and we wake up feeling really, really tired.

 

[JCastro]

I seem to be permanently warmer, have less anxiety, and less brain fog. I now dress more heavily to preserve heat and keep my brain warm. I feel mentally best when I blast the heat in my car. Temp hovers around 98.2 after a lifetime of around 97.x

I'm not running on adrenaline as much so conversation and articulation are much easier. For many years I was trying to improve my speaking with self-help and cognitive therapy but only this diet worked. Social phobia is reduced.

My drug/supp. regime, using up some of this stuff to get rid of it:
Day: B-Complex, 50 mg P5P, 10 mg biotin, 2 g C, 5k IU D, 400 IU E, 2.7 mg Super K, 200 mg Mg glycinate, 1.2 g Ca carbonate, 100 mg CoQ10, 200 mg theanine, 1 g taurine, 500 mg niacinamide, 25 mg zinc, 20 mg vinpocetine, 60 mg ginkgo biloba
Night: 7.5 mg mirtazapine, 3.5 mg naltrexone

Still depressed. Working on it. This is day 3 of quitting porn.