How to become more physically attractive to girls/women?

[OccamzRazer]

My advice
1. Hit the gym twice a week - focus on compound movements: squat, bench, deadlift, pullups and deadlifts. It will increase your muscle mass-, bone density-, DHT, it will improve insuine sensitivity etc. This will make you more confident, but don’t obsess about it.
2. Talk to girls - any girls, even if they’re “just” friends. And if they “friend zone” don’t get upset - you can still be “just friends”. Make sure you actually enjoy the conversations. It takes practice, but eventually you will be relaxed and you will have effective and laid back conversations without a stress reaction. Low dose cyproheptadine can help if you’re anxious.
4. If you have any past two unresolved childhood/life trauma deal with that first.
3. Go out and enjoy life.

Great advice.

IMO an even better version of point 2 would be:

Talk to people, any people. If you value and talk to everyone you encounter each day, then chatting to the occasional cute girl won't just be easy - it won't even be a thing.

 

[Rinse & rePeat]

I'm afraid I believe it is more complex than not liking ones options. How he or anyone else feels about themselves is often informed by the cue with get from the world around us. It starts young.

Well sure that is what drives which of the 3 ways you choose somebody.

 

[Rinse & rePeat]

Well sure that is what drives which of the 3 ways you choose somebody.

Everybody I have ever known that complains about their dating life, complains about not getting the person they want, while turning down others.

 

[Peatness]

Everybody I have ever known that complains about their dating life, complains about not getting the person they want, while turning down others.

Yes, I see where you are going with this. it's a good point. It's the beauty myth.

 

[Rinse & rePeat]

Yes, I see where you are going with this. it's a good point. It's the beauty myth.

Unfortunately, like you said, "off" upbringing are what grows the shallow or dysfunctional individual.

 

[Peatness]

Unfortunately, like you said, "off" upbringing are what grows the shallow or dysfunctional individual.

I would never call it shallow.

 

[lampofred]

IMO a useful aspect of "shallowness" is that it grounds you in reality. Whereas depth can go two ways, it can be either enriching or convoluted/head-in-the-clouds.

 

[Rinse & rePeat]

...

IMO a useful aspect of "shallowness" is that it grounds you in reality. Whereas depth can go two ways, it can be either enriching or convoluted/head-in-the-clouds.

When I say shallowness I am not talking about lightheartedness, but more to obsessing with the gym and plastic surgery and expecting back the same from their partner. That is fine for fun or a thrill, but it is no way to pick a lifelong partner. Looks eventually fade and the poor children have to deal with that uptight household. I was stupid and picked for looks my first marriage at 19. That was an unhappy 13 years!. He was a firefighter who obsessed with the gym and his looks and complained about everything. He was constantly looking to see if women were looking at him ughhh...
I will tell you that looking at an attractive person is not as exciting as I thought it would be that's for sure! The second time around I married my best friend, what a difference!

 

[OccamzRazer]

...

When I say shallowness I am not talking about lightheartedness, but more to obsessing with the gym and plastic surgery and expecting back the same from their partner. That is fine for fun or a thrill, but it is no way to pick a lifelong partner. Looks eventually fade and the poor children have to deal with that uptight household. I was stupid and picked for looks my first marriage at 19. That was an unhappy 13 years!. He was a firefighter who obsessed with the gym and his looks and complained about everything. He was constantly looking to see if women were looking at him ughhh...
I will tell you that looking at an attractive person is not as exciting as I thought it would be that's for sure! The second time around I married my best friend, what a difference!

Wow you got married at 19 too! That is interesting.

If only one could know then, what they knew now...

...glad you picked better on the next go-round. I hope to do the same.

And looks do fade, altho they appear to fade very slowly when one takes the bioenergetic approach!

 

[Rinse & rePeat]

Wow you got married at 19 too! That is interesting.

If only one could know then, what they knew now...

...glad you picked better on the next go-round. I hope to do the same.

And looks do fade, altho they appear to fade very slowly when one takes the bioenergetic approach!

Funny my ex looks like crap now, with a little pot belly, and he still never misses a day at the gym. He signed up for all those protein powders, avoided the yolks and such, but would give me a hard time for the gobs butter I put on everything. He always thought I should be doing things like him, and when I did, and started going to the gym i got grief if I stayed longer than 45 minutes. He was so negative, but wasn't like that when we dated. My husband, now, has never gone to gym and has a lean toned body and adores me. He was a geeky guy that I was not attracted to and look at me now with the best guy ever! Some people get to use their good looks earlier and some come into their prime later. All the diamond in the rough that get overlooked is a shame. You are so right, if they only knew what you and I have learned. Some people never do, and keep doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. You will pick better this time around Occ!

 

[Peatness]

He was a geeky guy that I was not attracted to and look at me now with the best guy ever!

There is a lesson here.

 

[AdoTintor]

Your #2 is exactly it!

yes - don't be nervous in situations that make you nervous! Be really confident in situations where you lack confidence. Be good at small talk when you're not.

 

[Sulcuscentralis]

...

When I say shallowness I am not talking about lightheartedness, but more to obsessing with the gym and plastic surgery and expecting back the same from their partner. That is fine for fun or a thrill, but it is no way to pick a lifelong partner. Looks eventually fade and the poor children have to deal with that uptight household. I was stupid and picked for looks my first marriage at 19. That was an unhappy 13 years!. He was a firefighter who obsessed with the gym and his looks and complained about everything. He was constantly looking to see if women were looking at him ughhh...
I will tell you that looking at an attractive person is not as exciting as I thought it would be that's for sure! The second time around I married my best friend, what a difference!

Plastic surgery and muscles are like drugs - it’s never enough. Even the most aesthetic Hollywood stars get plastic surgery so that right there tells me it’s nit gonna solve the self esteem issue - change needs to come from within. Speaking of this - here’s a joke:

View: https://youtu.be/nWwOrJ4-9nc
?

 

[Peatness]

yes - don't be nervous in situations that make you nervous! Be really confident in situations where you lack confidence. Be good at small talk when you're not.

 

[Rinse & rePeat]

Plastic surgery and muscles are like drugs - it’s never enough. Even the most aesthetic Hollywood stars get plastic surgery so that right there tells me it’s nit gonna solve the self esteem issue - change needs to come from within. Speaking of this - here’s a joke:

View: https://youtu.be/nWwOrJ4-9nc
?

Ha! Ha! That reminds me of the joke, how many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?....







One, but the lightbulb has to want to change ?

 

[Dr. B]

Ha! Ha! That reminds me of the joke, how many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?....







One, but the lightbulb has to want to change ?

zero, even monkeys can change light bulbs!

 

[hei]

I think it’s pretty funny that people are still clinging to weird superstitions like that women are unable to see what men look like but have spooky sixth and seventh senses for sensing inner frustrations and conflicts. I haven’t heard of women having especially poor eyesight in general, perhaps they are afflicted with huge floaters that automatically migrate to obscure only their view of men’s faces while leaving their aura detectors unimpeded. It’s probably just a coincidence that ugly men have many more frustrations than handsome men, forcing women to avoid them.

No. If you’re a man who has never been treated worse because of your looks it’s because your looks are good enough.

Personality isn’t really even separable from looks, as (1) your personality is viewed through a looks-tinted lens to the point that they are almost perfectly correlated, and (2) being good looking means you get to have social experiences that develop your personality (and confidence). When you’re not good looking people people avoid you and in general they do not even allow you to behave in the same way that good looking people get to behave. They don’t laugh at your jokes, they don’t accept forwardness, there’s no flirting, everything remotely sexual is off-limits, they don’t take you seriously and assume incompetence, and on and on. It is very noticeable that you are not really treated the same way as other people and it is not confidence- or personality-building at all.

Regarding dating, it’s little more than a proxy for having a lot of experience with women.

In any other context it would be obvious that personality and confidence don’t develop in isolation but since this is a dating thread that all goes out the window and men are just expected to simply be a certain way.

 

[David90]

I always had a long face until I started "peating" and then it started turning into a wider face and my eyes got weirdly slanted too! I thought I looked so weird. My sister and girlfriend thought I had gotten some plastic surgery. That was fruatrating. The color pic is the before pic, just before I started Peating, and the black and white was a year into "Peating. My face looks tight and not like me at all! My face structure has change so much since "Peating"! I am with the crowd that you can absolitely change your face structure. Your bones totally rejuvenate themselves every ten years and you shed quite a bit of bone withing 2 years.

Definitively noticing the changes in the second photo. Face looks more chiseled and skin looks a bit tighter then in the first one.

for me i stopped trying to assess how attractive i am, like i literally am only 5'9", im like 20% BF, i havent cut my hair in over like a year and maybe same with my beard. i look like a straight up caveman, i dont dress like im rich i just dress comfortably, and ill be honest, i get a decent amount of pu$$y lol. i really think its in my energy though. like if we go to the club, i dont try to assess who sees me or what i look like, i actually try to have fun dancing and talking to people, i am large, loud and take up a lot of space with my personality in a kind and unapologetic kind of way, and i really think people just feel comfortable around me. there are so many psychotic men now a days who do such terrible things to women, just be nice and let them feel comfortable around u and youll have a good foot in the door. And if you dont end up getting laid, being upset about it makes you the most unnatractive youll ever be.... its actually okay and cool to be JUST friends with girls...

like @Pina said, a 10/10. It's ok, if someone does not end up, getting laid. It can happen to every one of us. Hell, it even happened to me Three to Four Times. The Message is, keep going and don't give up at the First Try.

Grooming can also go a long way. The problem with guys who obsess a lot about their looks, they often have depression. And when you're depressed and hopeless, it gets hard to take care of your appearance.
I am 29 and more attractive at this age than I was at 24, let's say. This is not only my personal opinion. My sister has said it too, and I've seen increased interest from women as the years went by.
I was borderline anorexic, got a more muscular / athletic physique, my style has improved a lot - found a haircut style that suits me, found the right amount of facial hair that suits me.
My face has also changed. Looking at pictures from 5 years ago, I had a more narrow face and recessed maxilla. Now it's better. I still have a weak lower third, but the improvements I have made did make a difference.
Also, face has more masculine features, not to an insane amount of course, but just enough for it to matter. I reckon it is probably due to lifting weights and the age effect.

I would rather say: Take Care of the Apperance but hold it Simple and don't overdo it. And having a Good and Simple Grooming, Diet and Workout Routine.

If i look also at my own Photos a few years before, i changed (thankfully to ''Peating'') for the Better. Face was more Puffy and Feminine-Looking (DESPITE being thin) and was looking less Masculine/Chiseled overall. I also contributed this to a Combination of a false Diet, False Weightlifting Routine and false Grooming Routine.

When i was (let's say) 18 Years Old, Women @ School had not much Interest and i was having a Hard Time getting even a Date.

When i was 25 Years (and SLOWLY started to get my Sh** together, in Terms of Weightlifting with Kinobody Workouts, Grooming, Diet, Working Job and Knowledge), i also SLOWLY started to seen increased interest from Women, even tho i was still getting a hard time, getting past the Magical ''Third Date''.

For Facial Hair at that Time, i've done a Combination of Microneedling my Face (every other Day OR Three Times per Week) and DAILY Gelatin, which has worked wonders, since i didn't grow much Beard at that Time. And with this Combination, it worked like a charm.

Then there was 2018/2019 (This was also the Time, i was heavily reading into Ray Peat and implementing his Nutrition and Health Advice btw.) which then was my Breakthrough Year with Women.

And Now i'm in a Relationship since 1,5 Years. So nothing is Immposible.

 

[Dr. B]

Definitively noticing the changes in the second photo. Face looks more chiseled and skin looks a bit tighter then in the first one.


like @Pina said, a 10/10. It's ok, if someone does not end up, getting laid. It can happen to every one of us. Hell, it even happened to me Three to Four Times. The Message is, keep going and don't give up at the First Try.



I would rather say: Take Care of the Apperance but hold it Simple and don't overdo it. And having a Good and Simple Grooming, Diet and Workout Routine.

If i look also at my own Photos a few years before, i changed (thankfully to ''Peating'') for the Better. Face was more Puffy and Feminine-Looking (DESPITE being thin) and was looking less Masculine/Chiseled overall. I also contributed this to a Combination of a false Diet, False Weightlifting Routine and false Grooming Routine.

When i was (let's say) 18 Years Old, Women @ School had not much Interest and i was having a Hard Time getting even a Date.

When i was 25 Years (and SLOWLY started to get my Sh** together, in Terms of Weightlifting with Kinobody Workouts, Grooming, Diet, Working Job and Knowledge), i also SLOWLY started to seen increased interest from Women, even tho i was still getting a hard time, getting past the Magical ''Third Date''.

For Facial Hair at that Time, i've done a Combination of Microneedling my Face (every other Day OR Three Times per Week) and DAILY Gelatin, which has worked wonders, since i didn't grow much Beard at that Time. And with this Combination, it worked like a charm.

Then there was 2018/2019 (This was also the Time, i was heavily reading into Ray Peat and implementing his Nutrition and Health Advice btw.) which then was my Breakthrough Year with Women.

And Now i'm in a Relationship since 1,5 Years. So nothing is Immposible.

mate what do yhou mean by "false diet" "false grooming" that's an interesting word choice...
the puffy face is caused by cortisol. i dont know cortisol maybe suppresses androgens and estrogens?
but i was lean and muscular, likely my carbs were too low at 100g to 120g a day (as well as a crazy cheatday once a week) so my face looked as big as someone like 50 pounds heavier than me. i saw many who were much fatter than me yet had a face only slightly puffier or comparable to mine.

I heard someone say progesterone lightens skin is that true @Rinse & rePeat ? so your skin gets lighter as metabolism improves? or is it only if you have lipofuscin or melanin overproduction that the skin lightens? it seems odd as i dont think skin color in general is associated with metabolism?

 

[Dr. B]

Definitively noticing the changes in the second photo. Face looks more chiseled and skin looks a bit tighter then in the first one.


like @Pina said, a 10/10. It's ok, if someone does not end up, getting laid. It can happen to every one of us. Hell, it even happened to me Three to Four Times. The Message is, keep going and don't give up at the First Try.



I would rather say: Take Care of the Apperance but hold it Simple and don't overdo it. And having a Good and Simple Grooming, Diet and Workout Routine.

If i look also at my own Photos a few years before, i changed (thankfully to ''Peating'') for the Better. Face was more Puffy and Feminine-Looking (DESPITE being thin) and was looking less Masculine/Chiseled overall. I also contributed this to a Combination of a false Diet, False Weightlifting Routine and false Grooming Routine.

When i was (let's say) 18 Years Old, Women @ School had not much Interest and i was having a Hard Time getting even a Date.

When i was 25 Years (and SLOWLY started to get my Sh** together, in Terms of Weightlifting with Kinobody Workouts, Grooming, Diet, Working Job and Knowledge), i also SLOWLY started to seen increased interest from Women, even tho i was still getting a hard time, getting past the Magical ''Third Date''.

For Facial Hair at that Time, i've done a Combination of Microneedling my Face (every other Day OR Three Times per Week) and DAILY Gelatin, which has worked wonders, since i didn't grow much Beard at that Time. And with this Combination, it worked like a charm.

Then there was 2018/2019 (This was also the Time, i was heavily reading into Ray Peat and implementing his Nutrition and Health Advice btw.) which then was my Breakthrough Year with Women.

And Now i'm in a Relationship since 1,5 Years. So nothing is Immposible.

what did the gelatin do exactly, increase facial hair? which brand of gelatin and what amount do you consume