Young Children Don’t Mind Being Rude

Discussion in 'Mental Issues' started by michael94, Mar 16, 2019.

  1. michael94

    michael94 Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2015
    Messages:
    1,661
    When put in uncomfortable and unfair positions
     
  2. Rafael Lao Wai

    Rafael Lao Wai Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2017
    Messages:
    796
    Gender:
    Male
    Yeah, I think it is an "adult" thing, meaning it's something that isn't intuitive. I would say it has to do with lower metabolism, which leaves less energy to be used with important things, such as keeping boundaries. If you think about it, it seems like something a serotonergic person would do, that is, being passive and just accepting things as they are instead of taking a chance to change them.
     
  3. OP
    michael94

    michael94 Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2015
    Messages:
    1,661
    Yes

    Part of it is out of pity and not wanting to cause unnecessary suffering, which maybe children are not as capable of understanding. In general though I think a bit more rudeness would make the world a better place
     
  4. lampofred

    lampofred Member

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2016
    Messages:
    1,884
    Gender:
    Male
    YES! Get rid of your negative emotions on the spot when they are still relatively mild as opposed to being overly polite, letting things fester inside you, and then becoming some twisted version of your former self. Not to mention it would make conversations much less robotic. But unfortunately, this is a pretty Aspergian way of looking at things and will not happen in reality.
     
  5. OP
    michael94

    michael94 Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2015
    Messages:
    1,661
    It is really aspergian isn’t itlol, at least in the short term
     
  6. DaveFoster

    DaveFoster Member

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2015
    Messages:
    4,846
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Professional blogger, writer and entrepreneur.
    Location:
    Spokane, Washington
    Some kids have neither politeness nor negative emotions. One of my nieces (a toddler now) never cried, hit, lost her temper or anything like that, but she never played along with courtesies. On the other end of the spectrum, pun unintended, some children have severe behavioral problems and even attack their parents with weapons.
     
  7. Dino D

    Dino D Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2017
    Messages:
    228
    Gender:
    Male
    Young children don't mind being rude
    go further, deeper
    being rude is not the solution
    why are children rude to start with?
    often they just mechanically protect they selfish needs (their toys, or what they want to do no matter what)...
    so being like a child is not the solution...
    by getting fully consciousness and aware of all of your illusionary mechanics, motivations and programmed behavior you transcendent the need for being rude (buda flow :P )...
    Being rude is a mechanism of the ego, where the ego protects itself, feels attacked or whatever... kids are not aware of who they are, why the are rude, and what all of that trully means, they also dont understand all the perspectives and effects of being rude... as example the kid is rude to his mother because he loves his toy and wants to play with the toy, and the mother takes the toy, and the kid sees his mother as an enemy and as a bad person, so he gets rude... THAT IS NOT THE TRUTH... the kid is not aware that it is selfish, bounded to an material toy, that his mother is approaching him with love, and that the importance of his mother can never be compared with the minor meaning of a toy (when we grow up our religion, nutrition, politics, music, lifestyle becomes ,,the grown-ups toy" a part of our personality, that will always be attacked, and we will always have to be rude (and stressed)... the solution is not to letting things fester inside you, its to get consciousness, self aware, and let go of that stupid childish stuff... this can be taken in an apsolute manner, so we get to nirvana, enlightenment, and nothing can touch us... yea, we wont never get to that, but being rude for stupid and not important things is not the way to go, its an infinite problem-it just creates more ,,fighting" and stress, no matter if you express it or let it fester inside you...
    my two cents 4 today :)
     
  8. Dino D

    Dino D Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2017
    Messages:
    228
    Gender:
    Male
    And yea, I live in an undeveloped country where being rude is normal, and being polite is something that people here dont know... so we get bar fights, knife stabs, there is no consensus, no democracy, no debate, no accepting of different views, no open-minded, people are rude in everyday behavior (in stores, in parks, in sports), they dont back up of being racist or offending people just like that (being rude) :) i visited more polite countries and the difference is HUGEEEE
     
  9. sebastian_r

    sebastian_r Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2018
    Messages:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    It's human nature.

    It takes lot's of social conditioning and education to change it.

    And either social or legal consequences to enforce it.
     
  10. Dino D

    Dino D Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2017
    Messages:
    228
    Gender:
    Male
    Yes and no, there are a lot of undeveloped countries or primitive cultures/countries/tribes where education and enforcement isnt strong, but they have some simple and friendly values so they are not rude... often capitalism, materialism, ambition and a self centered ego isnt strong in those cultures...
     
  11. Rafael Lao Wai

    Rafael Lao Wai Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2017
    Messages:
    796
    Gender:
    Male
    So maybe it's like they are halfway into being like modern countries, meaning materialism is starting to be implemented, but the education isn't there to restrain and control the side-effects of said materialism.
     
  12. Dino D

    Dino D Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2017
    Messages:
    228
    Gender:
    Male
    Yea, good point... another factor is that we accepted the materialist lifestyle and values, but we are still poor, so there is an everyday problem, stress and conflict... we are programed to make money, but in our country there isnt trully an oportunity to make money... so we get super rude haha
     
  13. Rafael Lao Wai

    Rafael Lao Wai Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2017
    Messages:
    796
    Gender:
    Male
    Poverty is a really big source of stress, according to Ray, which makes sense, since it basically means that there isn't much security, be it against hunger, violence, homelessness, etc., which leads to an overall feeling of frustration and makes people think it's okay to be selfish. I can see how that makes people rude.
     
  14. sunraiser

    sunraiser Member

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2017
    Messages:
    490
    People dealing with adverse conditions and environments closer to poverty also need to adapt different coping mechanisms in order to survive (or "thrive") in that surrounding. "Rudeness" can sometimes be a product of this, although if people are given space away from the chaos or a break to gain better conditions then hardship most often turns into empathy and kindness.

    The big flaw in modern conservatism (spliced with neoliberlism and minimised government) is in simply not understanding this nuance, and people that are far removed from this kind of environment don't have empathy for the products of it.

    We have people high up in British politics that literally believe they're genetically superior and they belong where they are, despite being products of family fortune. When you grow up with privilege and ease then the lesson of hard work must be learned and drummed in, but when you grow up in struggle it's hard work just to exist, so the lessons are innate.

    These dynamics won't change until society becomes more merged and people experience and get understanding of the struggles people are facing and the benefits of having social infrastructure and regulation to stop rampant inequality.

    It's easy to appear kind when there's no stress happening!
     
  15. OP
    michael94

    michael94 Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2015
    Messages:
    1,661
    Yep
     
  16. jamies33

    jamies33 Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2017
    Messages:
    903
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    people who internalize personal affronts tend to have poorer health outcomes, as compared to those who do not. It would make sense that the habit of internalizing personal attacks would be learned, and is not a human default characteristic.

    We can learn from children in this way, as a sort of reminder, but civility is also important.
     
  17. morgan#1

    morgan#1 Member

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2016
    Messages:
    295
    Gender:
    Female
    Young children (in Whole Foods) don’t mind being rude. They run the show, graduation from pre-school, elementary school.... where does it stop. That’s not really ur point, but I thought I’d add that in to release some of my annoyance. At the “adults” mind you
     
  18. pinacolada

    pinacolada Member

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2016
    Messages:
    1,692
    Gender:
    Female
    Chinese people in my neighborhood are rude. They blow snot out of their nose on the sidewalk and have little concern for walking into other pedestrians. I think being passive is a judeo Christian thing
     
  19. lampofred

    lampofred Member

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2016
    Messages:
    1,884
    Gender:
    Male
    I notice a very strong correlation between politeness and neuroticism, maybe because the environment/food nowadays just doesn't supply enough energy to fully support the high-energy, empathetic parts of the brain.
     
  20. pinacolada

    pinacolada Member

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2016
    Messages:
    1,692
    Gender:
    Female
    I really think there is some value in tending to bodily needs before maintaining etiquette. People should just burp when they need to. I once read that ancient Greeks used to have feasts and whoever could hold their bowels and bladders the longest was considered the most refined. Says a lot about western culture.
     
Loading...