MetabolicTrash
Member
I have noticed some people just always have friends, and they don't do anything special or specific to make or keep them. Sometimes it's just neighborhood kids, workplace, schools, etc. -- and often it just naturally happens.
I find it disheartening that some say that "making" or "finding" friends is on the part of the one out of the group or friendless, but almost everyone is technically "friendless" prior to when they actually started making friends -- and nobody I've heard of that has lots of "friends" ever actually goes to people and "makes friends" simply like that.
I had a sibling, for example, who was "friends" with nearly half of their school, but never really did anything specific to make friends.
I really don't have any friends as of now, although I'm not a basement dwelling stereotype (I think it's a combination of a subpar environment/upbringing for me, along with other factors I don't want to discuss here). I've wondered since I have read here and in other sources that not having friends is actually suboptimal for health supposedly, so I wonder if my health limitations might come down to this.
But ultimately it seems people try and inundate this idea that having friends is simply about "making" the friend on the full part of the friendless one, but I never see people actually do this. Most people seem to make friends when younger and just do so spontaneously and unplanned even, but I wasn't social/didn't have any social outlets much that I was brought in to until later in my teens. I didn't hide at home or fear socializing in the beginning, but ultimately there was no natural flow or stream of friends much that I had growing up really, outside of maybe family members that come/go and such (none now that I really have much socially with).
I don't know really as I'd assume friends are people who like each other or at least share some interests/"push and pull" kind of balance sociologically, I guess in a sense I've disliked people at times during life, especially long before worrying about my health, possibly because I never had a more "normal" development, although maybe it's not entirely bad being the "outsider" of sorts.
Maybe I just don't really need friends? Isn't that an insane notion though, coming from a human being and an animal? But I can't help but shake that I need some social outlets sometimes, but have zero social oomph, connection, history, or just that natural liking taken on by others for some reasons. (possibly appearance is a factor here too?)
Almost all "masculine" or attractive males I know of have friends, even if they're the more distant, arrogant or standoff-ish types, while I have seen some guys try and try to fit in groups and are always given the boot or never feel "established" anywhere in the world (women or girls usually have fairly competent social lives > 90% of the time in my view, whereas men or boys might tend to struggle fitting in more lifelong I think). I mean most homeless being male I think is kind of telling regarding my previous sentence.
I mean even all of the girls who have liked me/shown interest never really seemed to care that I had friends or not, so it doesn't seem that I have any real social problems per se or else you'd think that would reflect everywhere/throughout normal socializing circumstances at least. Even my family, for example, doesn't seem to think I'm socially incapable, but just sees me as aloof (which I guess I am, but maybe not deliberately in the way some might think). I mean I am not some brazen, arrogant ***hole or otherwise, but even those types I see tend to have friends anyways, while some nice people are aloof or barely hold on to friends.
My initial idea was to just further approach life, but doing so (mostly) alone and in a position where I couldn't easily be mocked or ridiculed (which is why I have cosmetic work considerations for myself -- to enhance my appearance further which can help me be more socially successful for the benefit of me and hopefully others). I suppose if I enter the world and try to find the spots I can find it I could naturally just settle myself there, but without too much hope for any permanent association anywhere. Perhaps this is the only way I can find "peace" -- letting others try and see how valuable I am based on multiple factors of myself and my association/actions rather than try to be forceful in telling other people what I bring to the table or stand as in a showy way.
I find it disheartening that some say that "making" or "finding" friends is on the part of the one out of the group or friendless, but almost everyone is technically "friendless" prior to when they actually started making friends -- and nobody I've heard of that has lots of "friends" ever actually goes to people and "makes friends" simply like that.
I had a sibling, for example, who was "friends" with nearly half of their school, but never really did anything specific to make friends.
I really don't have any friends as of now, although I'm not a basement dwelling stereotype (I think it's a combination of a subpar environment/upbringing for me, along with other factors I don't want to discuss here). I've wondered since I have read here and in other sources that not having friends is actually suboptimal for health supposedly, so I wonder if my health limitations might come down to this.
But ultimately it seems people try and inundate this idea that having friends is simply about "making" the friend on the full part of the friendless one, but I never see people actually do this. Most people seem to make friends when younger and just do so spontaneously and unplanned even, but I wasn't social/didn't have any social outlets much that I was brought in to until later in my teens. I didn't hide at home or fear socializing in the beginning, but ultimately there was no natural flow or stream of friends much that I had growing up really, outside of maybe family members that come/go and such (none now that I really have much socially with).
I don't know really as I'd assume friends are people who like each other or at least share some interests/"push and pull" kind of balance sociologically, I guess in a sense I've disliked people at times during life, especially long before worrying about my health, possibly because I never had a more "normal" development, although maybe it's not entirely bad being the "outsider" of sorts.
Maybe I just don't really need friends? Isn't that an insane notion though, coming from a human being and an animal? But I can't help but shake that I need some social outlets sometimes, but have zero social oomph, connection, history, or just that natural liking taken on by others for some reasons. (possibly appearance is a factor here too?)
Almost all "masculine" or attractive males I know of have friends, even if they're the more distant, arrogant or standoff-ish types, while I have seen some guys try and try to fit in groups and are always given the boot or never feel "established" anywhere in the world (women or girls usually have fairly competent social lives > 90% of the time in my view, whereas men or boys might tend to struggle fitting in more lifelong I think). I mean most homeless being male I think is kind of telling regarding my previous sentence.
I mean even all of the girls who have liked me/shown interest never really seemed to care that I had friends or not, so it doesn't seem that I have any real social problems per se or else you'd think that would reflect everywhere/throughout normal socializing circumstances at least. Even my family, for example, doesn't seem to think I'm socially incapable, but just sees me as aloof (which I guess I am, but maybe not deliberately in the way some might think). I mean I am not some brazen, arrogant ***hole or otherwise, but even those types I see tend to have friends anyways, while some nice people are aloof or barely hold on to friends.
My initial idea was to just further approach life, but doing so (mostly) alone and in a position where I couldn't easily be mocked or ridiculed (which is why I have cosmetic work considerations for myself -- to enhance my appearance further which can help me be more socially successful for the benefit of me and hopefully others). I suppose if I enter the world and try to find the spots I can find it I could naturally just settle myself there, but without too much hope for any permanent association anywhere. Perhaps this is the only way I can find "peace" -- letting others try and see how valuable I am based on multiple factors of myself and my association/actions rather than try to be forceful in telling other people what I bring to the table or stand as in a showy way.