Men have friends for two reasons

[Herbie]

In my observations I think there are two reasons men are friends with each other in today’s world.

It’s either because they use/help each other in some mutual way like in business or workplace. Men can relate when they have a good mate as a work colleague but when one of them gets a new job the friendship often ends.

Or it’s a in denial closet homosexual/boredom relationship which is used to make up for lack of meaningful and close relationships with women which is based on high estrogen/testosterone. This is why when a man gets into a romantic relationship with a women, he often ditches his mates “bros before hoes”

These are two extremes I’ve noticed and think that men don’t need friends nor talk much because it’s a distraction from the inner life which is important for men. Moving in the direction of having a family or becoming a hermit is going in the right direction.

 

[InChristAlone]

Being a hermit is good? If a man isn't in service in some way either to his family or to his community then he has no purpose.

 

[Ben.]

In my observations I think there are two reasons men are friends with each other in today’s world.

It’s either because they use/help each other in some mutual way like in business or workplace. Men can relate when they have a good mate as a work colleague but when one of them gets a new job the friendship often ends.

Or it’s a in denial closet homosexual/boredom relationship which is used to make up for lack of meaningful and close relationships with women which is based on high estrogen/testosterone. This is why when a man gets into a romantic relationship with a women, he often ditches his mates “bros before hoes”

These are two extremes I’ve noticed and think that men don’t need friends nor talk much because it’s a distraction from the inner life which is important for men. Moving in the direction of having a family or becoming a hermit is going in the right direction.

I think you are right about "todays" world if we apply it to alot of men but i do not see being a hermit the solution and having a family shoudn't need to exclude friendships. A symptom of men being broken by the modern globalistic world where they do not get a place to be or do not manage to find one, thats what it is.

Working together, hunting together w/e men "used" to do was both mutual benefitial but also created emotional bonds and memories. A romantic interest can come and go but a actual friend no matter what gender might last forever, even if months/years pass by of not seeing eachother due to living circumstances.

There is a form of love and companionship that is not of erotic or romantic nature and it's value is vastly underrated.

I am not a fan of generalisation anyways. And talking about "men" or "woman" always leads to that sort of conversation that sounds good on paper or in theory because they might explain certain events we experienced but it lacks the reality of individualistic human beings and their individual needs. Ambievalent experiences and events are the result and only leave confusion. Judging people by the content of their personality seems to be more applicable i find, the older i get. My opinion atleast.

 

[Nomane Euger]

Being a hermit is good? If a man isn't in service in some way either to his family or to his community then he has no purpose.

hi,feeling good and providing yourself foods and other things that make you feel good is a great purpose

 

[Nomane Euger]

In my observations I think there are two reasons men are friends with each other in today’s world.

It’s either because they use/help each other in some mutual way like in business or workplace. Men can relate when they have a good mate as a work colleague but when one of them gets a new job the friendship often ends.

Or it’s a in denial closet homosexual/boredom relationship which is used to make up for lack of meaningful and close relationships with women which is based on high estrogen/testosterone. This is why when a man gets into a romantic relationship with a women, he often ditches his mates “bros before hoes”

These are two extremes I’ve noticed and think that men don’t need friends nor talk much because it’s a distraction from the inner life which is important for men. Moving in the direction of having a family or becoming a hermit is going in the right direction.

hi herbie,i have similar speculations as the 2 of the main reasons of friendship between men,but the cause of friendship does not necessary make it not worth ,what matter is if it does it make you feel better,whats the nature of the feeling,some physical feelings/emotions feel pure/good 100%enjoyable,some other feelings do not feel pure totally good,and you can feel a degree of disconfort/bad/vice even if it can be mixed with some good. and as long as the friendship does not stop you from reaching a higher degree of well being,that could be far higher. i believe you can reach a state where you give/Do for others,even if it doesnt grant you anything physical,and no recognition from this person or others,even in your own mind you do not do it for other perceptions,and the nature of the feeling is different than doing things for other recognition/perceptions,you do it just because thats your tendency,and you will have an pure/good feeling in your heart by doing it.being an hermit for a time can be highly beneficial,because it can make you focus on yourself on what make you feel good,on this path you can reach a higher degree of energy/well being than you have ever experienced,feel your best,up to the point at wich you manifest the tendency to spend time with others with out you entering a vicious circle of not cultivating your well being in an optimal way,and becoming dependant on these peoples to feel"good"because when you reach the state where you dont cultivate your well being anymore,and your energy diminish,the nature of the good/pure feelings of cooperation/giving diminish,and the feelings of doing things for their recognitions,by possessivity,expectating their gratitude start to rise,and you experience insecurity in this state,and you feel worst

 

[DonLore]

In my observations I think there are two reasons men are friends with each other in today’s world.

It’s either because they use/help each other in some mutual way like in business or workplace. Men can relate when they have a good mate as a work colleague but when one of them gets a new job the friendship often ends.

Or it’s a in denial closet homosexual/boredom relationship which is used to make up for lack of meaningful and close relationships with women which is based on high estrogen/testosterone. This is why when a man gets into a romantic relationship with a women, he often ditches his mates “bros before hoes”

These are two extremes I’ve noticed and think that men don’t need friends nor talk much because it’s a distraction from the inner life which is important for men. Moving in the direction of having a family or becoming a hermit is going in the right direction.

I get the impression that you are socially awkward Herbie, from reading your posts. There is a clear third reason men have friends but maybe you just cant wrap your head around it. The third reason is that you enjot doing manly stuff with your mates, talking about girls, going on adventures etc. I really dont get how you can miss that

 

[Nomane Euger]

I get the impression that you are socially awkward Herbie, from reading your posts. There is a clear third reason men have friends but maybe you just cant wrap your head around it. The third reason is that you enjot doing manly stuff with your mates, talking about girls, going on adventures etc. I really dont get how you can miss that

hi,what herbie said"helping each other in some mutual way"include"talking about girl,going on adventures etc "doing things by mutual interest does not exclude enjoying it

 

[Razvan]

I get the impression that you are socially awkward Herbie, from reading your posts. There is a clear third reason men have friends but maybe you just cant wrap your head around it. The third reason is that you enjot doing manly stuff with your mates, talking about girls, going on adventures etc. I really dont get how you can miss that

Absolutly, i can see his frustration.

 

[GodsHound]

Complete domestication of spirit. ALL great historical events were consequences of strong male friendships. It is NOT a man’s duty to be a good husband. LOL. I get that modern life makes it hard to create strong friendships - men are pitted against each other in a context of materialism. This is not an accident, brotherhoods of men are a terminal threat to a gynocratic state.
Also if society were to fall and you don’t have a few friends which you can trust with your life, you are not gonna make it.

 

[MyUsernameHere]

In my observations I think there are two reasons men are friends with each other in today’s world.

It’s either because they use/help each other in some mutual way like in business or workplace. Men can relate when they have a good mate as a work colleague but when one of them gets a new job the friendship often ends.

Or it’s a in denial closet homosexual/boredom relationship which is used to make up for lack of meaningful and close relationships with women which is based on high estrogen/testosterone. This is why when a man gets into a romantic relationship with a women, he often ditches his mates “bros before hoes”

These are two extremes I’ve noticed and think that men don’t need friends nor talk much because it’s a distraction from the inner life which is important for men. Moving in the direction of having a family or becoming a hermit is going in the right direction.

I have one or two people that I associate with semi-regularly, but it's been a few months since I've contacted them as well. Life gets in the way. I've also noticed that it's usually people contact me only when they need me, and if not that, I always have to be the first one to initiate contact after a long time.

I think these days intrapersonal relationships have very much become a cost:benefit type thing as you say, if you can't utilise someone for some gain most people don't bother making time for them. It also gets worse as you get older, I found it harder to maintain these types of friendships throughout my 20s and now that I'm 30 they have almost all faded.

There are probably exceptions but I haven't encountered them. Most of my hobbies are solo-oriented so that probably doesn't help either.

 

[Eberhardt]

That has to be the most absurd post Ive seen in a while. How on earth are you able to reach that conclusion. Humans are social beings

 

[ursidae]

Complete domestication of spirit. ALL great historical events were consequences of strong male friendships. It is NOT a man’s duty to be a good husband. LOL. I get that modern life makes it hard to create strong friendships - men are pitted against each other in a context of materialism. This is not an accident, brotherhoods of men are a terminal threat to a gynocratic state

I don't understand how all the men whining about gynocentrism don't realise it's the MALE leaders propping up radical feminists to fulfil their own agenda. It's authoritarianism that's the problem, not gynocentricism, just look at Trudeau- done more damage to truckers than any radical feminist could dream of. Its the men in power that are ruining life for the rest of men, as part of intrasexual competition, and feminism is being used as a weapon and a scapegoat

 

[GodsHound]

I don't understand how all the men whining about gynocentrism don't realise it's the MALE leaders propping up radical feminists to fulfil their own agenda. It's authoritarianism that's the problem, not gynocentricism, just look at Trudeau- done more damage to truckers than any radical feminist could dream of. Its the men in power that are ruining life for the rest of men, as part of intrasexual competition, and feminism is being used as a weapon and a scapegoat

idk man leaders like Trudeau do not act like typical male tyrants… and the form of violence Trudeau inflicted on his people was not of anything but masculine. Underhand manipulation through media… lies and excuses… everything catty and psychological - a violence that tries to hide itself like a sneaky cat trying to cover up its own ***t. The opposite of the blatant (& honest) violence of a male spirit. I’m not advocating violence or tyranny of any kind. And I’m certainly not blaming women for the behaviour of weak men. But that’s just how I see it.

 

[Carb54]

I get the impression that you are socially awkward Herbie, from reading your posts. There is a clear third reason men have friends but maybe you just cant wrap your head around it. The third reason is that you enjot doing manly stuff with your mates, talking about girls, going on adventures etc. I really dont get how you can miss that

Agree, there is a level of enjoyment - jokes, constant laughter, friendly insults that can only be captured in a male to male friendship. This does not fit into either of the catgegories above.

This is the main reason that I have male friends and is something you cannot get to the same effect in a relationship

 

[TheSir]

I've noticed that all my friendships began to diminish the moment we no longer engaged in any shared activity. Men seem to bond through doing, whereas women bond through talking. Simply talking to my friends on whatsapp or face to face has not been enough to maintain the friendship.

Being a hermit is good? If a man isn't in service in some way either to his family or to his community then he has no purpose.

There are only so many ways to service others that require bonding with other males.

I always have to be the first one to initiate contact after a long time.

Same, and I never know if it's because they're intimidated by me or because they don't care for me that much.

 

[OccamzRazer]

Strange perspective. My best friend isn't exactly what you call good looking, but I'd rather hang out with him than with any woman I've ever met.

 

[Herbie]

Being a hermit is good? If a man isn't in service in some way either to his family or to his community then he has no purpose.

What if his family rejected him and he didn’t have children and is homeless and collects cans for money?

 

[Herbie]

I think you are right about "todays" world if we apply it to alot of men but i do not see being a hermit the solution and having a family shoudn't need to exclude friendships. A symptom of men being broken by the modern globalistic world where they do not get a place to be or do not manage to find one, thats what it is.

Working together, hunting together w/e men "used" to do was both mutual benefitial but also created emotional bonds and memories. A romantic interest can come and go but a actual friend no matter what gender might last forever, even if months/years pass by of not seeing eachother due to living circumstances.

There is a form of love and companionship that is not of erotic or romantic nature and it's value is vastly underrated.

I am not a fan of generalisation anyways. And talking about "men" or "woman" always leads to that sort of conversation that sounds good on paper or in theory because they might explain certain events we experienced but it lacks the reality of individualistic human beings and their individual needs. Ambievalent experiences and events are the result and only leave confusion. Judging people by the content of their personality seems to be more applicable i find, the older i get. My opinion atleast.

hi herbie,i have similar speculations as the 2 of the main reasons of friendship between men,but the cause of friendship does not necessary make it not worth ,what matter is if it does it make you feel better,whats the nature of the feeling,some physical feelings/emotions feel pure/good 100%enjoyable,some other feelings do not feel pure totally good,and you can feel a degree of disconfort/bad/vice even if it can be mixed with some good. and as long as the friendship does not stop you from reaching a higher degree of well being,that could be far higher. i believe you can reach a state where you give/Do for others,even if it doesnt grant you anything physical,and no recognition from this person or others,even in your own mind you do not do it for other perceptions,and the nature of the feeling is different than doing things for other recognition/perceptions,you do it just because thats your tendency,and you will have an pure/good feeling in your heart by doing it.being an hermit for a time can be highly beneficial,because it can make you focus on yourself on what make you feel good,on this path you can reach a higher degree of energy/well being than you have ever experienced,feel your best,up to the point at wich you manifest the tendency to spend time with others with out you entering a vicious circle of not cultivating your well being in an optimal way,and becoming dependant on these peoples to feel"good"because when you reach the state where you dont cultivate your well being anymore,and your energy diminish,the nature of the good/pure feelings of cooperation/giving diminish,and the feelings of doing things for their recognitions,by possessivity,expectating their gratitude start to rise,and you experience insecurity in this state,and you feel worst

I agree

 

[Herbie]

I get the impression that you are socially awkward Herbie, from reading your posts. There is a clear third reason men have friends but maybe you just cant wrap your head around it. The third reason is that you enjot doing manly stuff with your mates, talking about girls, going on adventures etc. I really dont get how you can miss that

Yeah when your younger it’s what young men do. I’ve done it all, buying old cars and paddock bashing them, high speed rally driving at night in forests in old cars, going out and getting drunk, going camping and jumping off big waterfalls, boats and everything that goes with that, surfing, bmx, skate boarding but it gets boring and it all usually involves or leads highly risky/illegal things. The things I did when I was 18 wouldn’t be possible today because the police state has increased.

As one matures they find it socially uncouth, awkward, disrespectful and plane weird to talk about anything to do with women, it’s a private affair.

Ps be careful sharing anything about women with other men, this got me in a lot of trouble when I was younger and lost friends over it unfortunately. If your young then my advice is either find the best women and use your best judgment to settle down with or **** anything that moves and don’t tell a soul.

 

[Herbie]

I think you are right about "todays" world if we apply it to alot of men but i do not see being a hermit the solution and having a family shoudn't need to exclude friendships. A symptom of men being broken by the modern globalistic world where they do not get a place to be or do not manage to find one, thats what it is.

Working together, hunting together w/e men "used" to do was both mutual benefitial but also created emotional bonds and memories. A romantic interest can come and go but a actual friend no matter what gender might last forever, even if months/years pass by of not seeing eachother due to living circumstances.

There is a form of love and companionship that is not of erotic or romantic nature and it's value is vastly underrated.

I am not a fan of generalisation anyways. And talking about "men" or "woman" always leads to that sort of conversation that sounds good on paper or in theory because they might explain certain events we experienced but it lacks the reality of individualistic human beings and their individual needs. Ambievalent experiences and events are the result and only leave confusion. Judging people by the content of their personality seems to be more applicable i find, the older i get. My opinion atleast.

Yeah what I find happens is through maturing and experience we change and can grow away from friends and if one becomes an individual and breaks away from the main stream culture and doesn’t fall into any sub culture then it becomes difficult to have friends because it seems mutual respect for each other is not there because of the increasing authoritarian culture.