Endless rumination over embarrassing memories

[Lilac]

I think you are onto the causes of your ruminations and OCB: metabolism and general health. When you improve those, the intrusive thoughts will diminish if not disappear.

I had something similar going on back when I was (undiagnosed) hypothyroid. This will sound a bit ridiculous, but I developed a kind of post-traumatic stress disorder from--get this--losing my purse. I had been shopping, had a lot of bags and parcels, put my purse down on a display to tie a shoe, and then left the store without the purse. When I got home, ten miles away, I missed my purse--panic! panic!--and figured out exactly what had happened. I called the store, and--miracle--someone had turned the purse in. I drove back, and nothing was missing. Now, that was lucky and all should have been well. But for many years after that, if I was driving along and could not see my purse, I would be very uneasy. A terrible feeling I could not rationalize away. On occasion, I would have to pull over and get my purse from out of the back and put it next to me. When I fixed my metabolism, that bad, obsessive feeling pretty much disappeared.

And do keep in mind that corny old trope that other people are not focusing on you the way you do upon yourself. Most people are in a bubble of their own experience. And few are so mean that they will look down on you for common foibles, let alone remember them.

 

[Funnywhensunny]

Not Peaty, but German New Medicine may be very helpful in helping you to understand and downgrade, these “Constellation” conflicts. Not easy to learn, but it has changed my perspective on these mental health issues that often lead to what Allopathic medicine calls, “Autoimmune disease.”

 

[Rinse & rePeat]

“I have found that when one is embarrassed, usually the shortest way to get through with it is to quit talking or thinking about it, and go at something else.” -Abraham Lincoln

 

[Jonk]

“I have found that when one is embarrassed, usually the shortest way to get through with it is to quit talking or thinking about it, and go at something else.” -Abraham Lincoln

Sounds about right. That's why I like the "peat way" of correcting diet and letting the body and mind heal by themselves without my neurotic self trying to neurotically fix myself haha.

 

[Rinse & rePeat]

Sounds about right. That's why I like the "peat way" of correcting diet and letting the body and mind heal by themselves without my neurotic self trying to neurotically fix myself haha.

It is hard to get embarrassing moments gone when there are witnesses and you still have to see them. In those cases I would tell myself that it will be a distant memory one day at a time, now I really can’t care more about what people think than giving myself a pass to be human, and make mistakes.

 

[Rinse & rePeat]

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[CoconutEffect]

Passion flower helps often with my ruminations, sometimes dramatically. Discovered this during a 20 month benzo withdrawal.

We don’t talk low GABA enough here, as I believe it opposes serotonin. I use the Solaray product.

Huberman light viewing may also help.

 

[Zoltanman]

can somebody please talk some reason into me regarding embarrassing memories? I endlessly ruminate over embarrassing things ive done in the past, like ill think it over from every conceivable angle and just in general make myself feel miserable and feel like I want to go hide under a rock or something. the thing is, I rationally know these two things:

1.most people are absorbed with their own lives; some embarrassing thing I did months ago is the last thing they're thinking of.
-case in point is the fact that even I myself personally cant think of the last embarrassing thing I remember another person doing; like I have to really struggle to think of something embarrassing or cringey someone else has done
-even if I can remember something cringey someone else has done, I find that I have a really hard time caring about it

2.was the thing I did really that embarrassing or is my mind embellishing it?
-my personality type runs from cope like the plague; I absolutely cannot tolerate sugarcoating stuff to myself and I have to always insist on seeing things as truthfully as possible. this is generally good when it comes to most things in my life (this mindset is why im at a forum like this for example); however this personality trait turns against me when im thinking about past embarrassing things ive done. in my mind I tend to accept only the most embarrassing version of an event; im completely unable to think to myself:

"you know, maybe what I did wasnt even that big of a deal, maybe a little bit weird but nothing extraordinary"

im afraid that if I accept that an embarrassing memory wasnt really that embarrassing then ill just be coping and deceiving myself in order to make myself feel better. I really do have a tendency to do embarrassing things, like more so than the average person, but I still need to keep perspective

I have OCD, its pretty bad at times. OCD is definitely a contributing factor to the rumination (maybe this entire problem IS the OCD), but also low-metabolism/sluggish energy levels contributes to the problem as well (when I have zero energy I just wanna lay around and ruminate more, which is a vicious cycle). case in point, if I take an adderall then I find that the burst of dopamine and energy makes me feel so good and hopeful that I dont even care about what I did in the past, however this takes me closer to a "manic" type mindset where paradoxically maybe im not perceiving things truthfully either (IE sugarcoating things in my memory instead of viewing things in the most embarrassing light)

anyone deal with this stuff too? sometimes the embarrassing feelings just make me want to not get out of bed, or do anything.

I couldn't get past my 'flashback' embarrassing memories without the technique called Brainspotting. Find a trained brain spot therapist and you'll be amazed at what emotional baggage your brain was storing, once you see it drain away.

 

[BestSinceDAYONE]

I have PFS so TRT etc doesnt affect me normally. PFS and the cascade of hormonal/emotional problems it causes are likely connected to my rumination problem. ive always had OCD, so im naturally prone to ruminating but the PFS complicates things by making it so that possible solutions dont work as well as they should

Have you thought about taking an oral DHT if it's legal in your country?

 

[Don]

Outside of supps and certain foods, I cant recommend learning to play music or even singing. learn an instrument join a choir.

 

[AgentCranberry]

1. Have you looked into low-dose lithium supplementation? Could be worth a try if you pay attention to your thyroid (just a cautionary measure, I do not know if very low doses even affect it to a relevant degree). There are ressources you can find via search engines as well as here in the forum by haidut et al. . Personally, I take 1 mg of elemental lithium per day (maybe I will go lower or higher over time, just started a few weeks ago).

2. How is your outlook on life? Do you spend your time in a meaningful way? (these questions are intended for you to check, not to write it down here)