Completely Stuck, Suffering Multiple Conditions

[Ashoka]

I’ve been really struggling recently and been getting to a point that feels utterly hopeless. I have chronic infections (lyme disease, EBV, etc), Post-Finasteride Syndrome (the amazing disaster that started all this), obsessive heartbreak after a breakup from two years ago, considerable debt (including medical debt from the emergency room), and on top of that, I’ve always had characteristics in the range of what they call empath/HSP or Highly Sensitive Person. Then about everything that’s going on in the world, I’m in a state of panic constantly.

I get in such an emotional bind about all this I can’t accomplish or do anything. Most of my day is just attending to symptoms and thoughts popping up or putting my best effort into distracting myself. When I push myself I end up regretting it, because it just heightens every bad feeling and the sense of desperation. It feels like a form of self-abuse to push oneself in these circumstances.

There have been moments I felt more hopeful. Of course with resources, I believe these types of issues, even the ones I have, people can recover from. I believe that thanks to Peat and many other people whose work and experiences I’ve encountered over the years. But I’ve had little plans and ambitions derailed now countless, innumerable times, and I’m only seeing the most sobering truth - that nothing appears to be changing for me, and that too little has gotten better in the last six years. In fact there are ways things have gotten much worse. I don’t know what I can do in my situation to find a way out, with each of these factors at work. I’m not even thinking I will find the answers here. But part of trying to make a change is reaching out, and that’s all I have left sometimes.

 

[Tarmander]

I don't think you are going to get many responses to your thread because this is a very difficult and hopeless message. If there is hope, people will jump in and give suggestions...but if all is bleak...What can people do?

God loves you and wants you to have a life

 

[Arnold Grape]

I’ve been really struggling recently and been getting to a point that feels utterly hopeless. I have chronic infections (lyme disease, EBV, etc), Post-Finasteride Syndrome (the amazing disaster that started all this), obsessive heartbreak after a breakup from two years ago, considerable debt (including medical debt from the emergency room), and on top of that, I’ve always had characteristics in the range of what they call empath/HSP or Highly Sensitive Person. Then about everything that’s going on in the world, I’m in a state of panic constantly.

I get in such an emotional bind about all this I can’t accomplish or do anything. Most of my day is just attending to symptoms and thoughts popping up or putting my best effort into distracting myself. When I push myself I end up regretting it, because it just heightens every bad feeling and the sense of desperation. It feels like a form of self-abuse to push oneself in these circumstances.

There have been moments I felt more hopeful. Of course with resources, I believe these types of issues, even the ones I have, people can recover from. I believe that thanks to Peat and many other people whose work and experiences I’ve encountered over the years. But I’ve had little plans and ambitions derailed now countless, innumerable times, and I’m only seeing the most sobering truth - that nothing appears to be changing for me, and that too little has gotten better in the last six years. In fact there are ways things have gotten much worse. I don’t know what I can do in my situation to find a way out, with each of these factors at work. I’m not even thinking I will find the answers here. But part of trying to make a change is reaching out, and that’s all I have left sometimes.

Hi there — not at all am I about recommending supplements, but given these super stressful times, rife with illness and worldly tumult, I would suggest something like Progesterone to steer you out of a slump. This must be done with caution and attention to eating good, while starting at a low dose. Combining this with enjoyable activities like going to an open park; getting sunlight; eating enjoyable foods; listening to good music, etc. will be advantageous.

If you want to PM, I am WFH right now and won’t have all the answers, but can message if you like.

Hang in there.

 

[achillea]

Energy Loss as a Cause of Disease - Hormones Matter


This Doctor is 96 and has worked with the weird disorders, Investigate him

 

[lampofred]

What is your body temp, pulse, and vitamin D level? I think total sleep deprivation for a night might help give you clarity on how to proceed.

 

[gaze]

focus on getting adequate protein, calcium, vitamin D, Vitamin A , these will be important in restoring your hormones post finasteride. Hang in there, it can only get better from here

 

[Ashoka]

I don't think you are going to get many responses to your thread because this is a very difficult and hopeless message. If there is hope, people will jump in and give suggestions...but if all is bleak...What can people do?

God loves you and wants you to have a life

You may be right. I’m sorry to despair in public like this as well, as I don’t want to feed whatever panic is already occurring. This has just been my reality for years already. I always have hope, or else I wouldn’t be posting would I? Appreciate your response though.

Hi there — not at all am I about recommending supplements, but given these super stressful times, rife with illness and worldly tumult, I would suggest something like Progesterone to steer you out of a slump. This must be done with caution and attention to eating good, while starting at a low dose. Combining this with enjoyable activities like going to an open park; getting sunlight; eating enjoyable foods; listening to good music, etc. will be advantageous.

If you want to PM, I am WFH right now and won’t have all the answers, but can message if you like.

Hang in there.

I’ve actually been using progesterone and dhea in a 3:1 mixture and felt it helped for a while. Sometimes it feels too stimulating as well. I also take aspirin with vitamin k, and normally have a drop of vitamin d. I was also taking monolaurin for my infections.

Eating well has always been a huge problem for me. I don’t have a strong appetite normally, and I only tolerate well-prepared food, but I’m not skilled at cooking and have little energy to do it daily. I get emotionally flooded as well which makes new and difficult tasks really frustrating and stressful. So I tried doing things like getting food I could heat up in an instant pot, like by steaming, as it was quick, healthier, and appetizing to me.

I also can barely sleep until the early morning and end up missing a lot of sunlight. All these issues have badly affected sleep.

Thank you for the offer, Arnold. I may take you up on that.

 

[Ashoka]

Energy Loss as a Cause of Disease - Hormones Matter


This Doctor is 96 and has worked with the weird disorders, Investigate him

Interesting, I’ll take a look. Thx.

What is your body temp, pulse, and vitamin D level? I think total sleep deprivation for a night might help give you clarity on how to proceed.

I’m unsure, but I think my pulse is normally low but elevated by adrenaline. Body temps have been low in the past, haven’t checked for a while. Vitamin D is normally low and has every reason to be now too. Although I did start supplementing with it again recently.
Sleep deprivation does help mood sometimes. What kind of other clarity does that bring?

focus on getting adequate protein, calcium, vitamin D, Vitamin A , these will be important in restoring your hormones post finasteride. Hang in there, it can only get better from here

Yeah, protein definitely sounds important. In an old message, Peat stressed the probable importance of cholesterol as well. Thank you

 

[lampofred]

I’m unsure, but I think my pulse is normally low but elevated by adrenaline. Body temps have been low in the past, haven’t checked for a while. Vitamin D is normally low and has every reason to be now too. Although I did start supplementing with it again recently.
Sleep deprivation does help mood sometimes. What kind of other clarity does that bring?

I think getting vitamin D to around 50-60 (mid of scale), temperature up to 98.2 waking/98.6 by afternoon, and pulse to 85 BPM by afternoon, and increasing milk/eggs/liver to sustain that level of metabolism would help. Your symptoms sound a lot like depression and sleep deprivation is surprisingly one of the only essentially fool-proof ways to cure depression (albeit extremely temporarily until you sleep again), but all it's doing is raising metabolism. So increasing thyroid and vitamin D (which has the same effect as increasing metabolism, even though it doesn't raise temps, as long as phosphate is low) would likely help.

 

[peateats1]

Without knowing what your particular issues are, I can only recommend things that have helped me recently and I've ran across that peat has recommended etc.

Peat has stated that vit b1, b2, selenium, coq10, and vitamin k are all needed for the proper functioning of mitochondria.
All of the above supplements have helped me a lot.

Thyroid is always good especially if your temp is low

I've recently started mega dosing progesterone by rubbing it on the skin and have had great improvements from that.(I'm female so you might not want to use as much if you're male)
I've used progest e for years and my progesterone level was still really low, so you could maybe try a different brand if you aren't noticing anything from progest e(if that's the brand you're using)

You mentioned you're using dhea. That can easily turn into estrogen if you're unhealthy and metabolism isn't good.

Cyproheptadine in small .5 or 1 mg doses for a few days gave me my appetite back by blocking serotonin. It might be something to try in small doses for a bit.

Your outlook and attitude sound like a high serotonin maybe lowish dopamine persona. Everything that would lower serotonin might be of help to you and be a boost to your energy and metabolism levels.

 

[mangoes]

I don't think you are going to get many responses to your thread because this is a very difficult and hopeless message. If there is hope, people will jump in and give suggestions...but if all is bleak...What can people do?

God loves you and wants you to have a life

what are you even talking about? people who are hopeless need the most help, not to be made to feel guilty for feeling as anyone would in a ***t situation & definitely not given some otiose sentiment about being “loved by God” which does absolutely nothing to help. lol wow.

@Ashoka some people have addressed physiological things and that’s important. I also think psychology is important. I think you need to tackle one thing at a time. Start small, making small changes to the kind of thoughts you’re allowing dominate your daily life. I do believe you can recover, but I’m not omniscient and no one is, so maybe it isn’t about trying to tell yourself to be hopeful you’ll recover only to be reminded by the chronic symptoms and then falling into despair. Maybe it’s just about working toward one particular goal at a time and endurance. It’s okay to despair at times. Anyone would. Accept the feelings. But then you have to move on. Break the cycle or it’ll be never ending. Accepting things for the way they are now doesn’t mean that you have to accept it for life. Talk to yourself. “So I have this problem? This symptom etc? **** it sucks. But I can sit here and go down the same path I always go down, panic and stress over it all the time but where does that get me? Or I can dedicate the energy into trying to find a solution instead. Will I find it tomorrow? No probably not. But Rome wasn’t built in a day. I will figure out a way to fix it at some point.”

I know it can feel like everything is stacked against you, finances, health, etc, and that nothing you try works, but rather than letting it overwhelm you, take it step by step, day by day. Talk to yourself. Face your shadow dead in the eye. Build resilience and character. We all end up dead anyway. Of course the potential for recovery exists. But even if you fail in the end, wouldn’t you rather that, than regretting not giving yourself every possible chance you can before you die?

 

[Ashoka]

Without knowing what your particular issues are, I can only recommend things that have helped me recently and I've ran across that peat has recommended etc.

Peat has stated that vit b1, b2, selenium, coq10, and vitamin k are all needed for the proper functioning of mitochondria.
All of the above supplements have helped me a lot.

Thyroid is always good especially if your temp is low

I've recently started mega dosing progesterone by rubbing it on the skin and have had great improvements from that.(I'm female so you might not want to use as much if you're male)
I've used progest e for years and my progesterone level was still really low, so you could maybe try a different brand if you aren't noticing anything from progest e(if that's the brand you're using)

You mentioned you're using dhea. That can easily turn into estrogen if you're unhealthy and metabolism isn't good.

Cyproheptadine in small .5 or 1 mg doses for a few days gave me my appetite back by blocking serotonin. It might be something to try in small doses for a bit.

Your outlook and attitude sound like a high serotonin maybe lowish dopamine persona. Everything that would lower serotonin might be of help to you and be a boost to your energy and metabolism levels.

I’ve used cypro. It helped me sleep for a while, does increase appetite noticeably. I think it worsened the low dopamine response I have. I was using 2mg a day though. I use small amounts of DHEA, like 5mg.

what are you even talking about? people who are hopeless need the most help, not to be made to feel guilty for feeling as anyone would in a ***t situation & definitely not given some otiose sentiment about being “loved by God” which does absolutely nothing to help. lol wow.

@Ashoka I think you need to tackle one thing at a time. Start small, making small changes to the kind of thoughts you’re allowing dominate your daily life. I do believe you can recover, but I’m not omniscient and no one is, so maybe it isn’t about trying to tell yourself to be hopeful you’ll recover only to be reminded by the chronic symptoms and then falling into despair. Maybe it’s just about working toward one particular goal at a time and endurance. It’s okay to despair at times. Anyone would. Accept the feelings. But then you have to move on. Break the cycle or it’ll be never ending. Accepting things for the way they are now doesn’t mean that you have to accept it for life. Talk to yourself. “So I have this problem? This symptom etc? **** it sucks. But I can sit here and go down the same path I always go down, panic and stress over it all the time but where does that get me? Or I can dedicate the energy into trying to find a solution instead. Will I find it tomorrow? No probably not. But Rome wasn’t built in a day. I will figure out a way to fix it at some point.”

I know it can feel like everything is stacked against you, finances, health, etc, and that nothing you try works, but rather than letting it overwhelm you, take it step by step, day by day. Talk to yourself. Face your shadow dead in the eye. Build resilience and character. We all end up dead anyway. Of course the potential for recovery exists. But even if you fail in the end, wouldn’t you rather that, than regretting not giving yourself every possible chance you can before you die?

I think you’re right, in the sense that over time, I’ve realized the importance of incremental steps. For example if I have low blood sugar and no energy, I have no energy to cook better things. I have to start at low preparation foods I will want to eat and that I won’t feel bad after eating. I also realized I should probably have experimented with more supplements early on. A lot of people have said you don’t get effects from supplements without having a solid diet first, so I didn’t try take many supplements. In truth I could have benefitted anyway.

I often have thoughts in line with what you’re saying. The fear is in fact that these type of cycles are never-ending, because I never see permanent signs of progress. I’ll say, "I have to give this my best shot now. Now is the time," and I feel better in some sense when I know I’m working towards getting better rather than putting it off. And on the face of it, a person on good health might say - yes, then get on with it. But in my experience, there’s no compartmentalizing one’s unhappiness until the storm passes over. Because in this situation, there’s no real relief. There’s no moment where you get an actual break, and most people don’t understand you. Additionally to take Peat seriously, I think there’s some sense that being severe with oneself only intensifies the chronic stress state. So I find myself motivated for a number of days until something completely destabilizes me. For example, thoughts of my ex. Or feeling misunderstood or betrayed by a friend or family member. Not being able to sleep at all some nights because of pain. Feeling lonely to the point I won’t stop compulsively using my phone and the internet. It’s the way these things end up fitting together that I realized I need to tackle.

I realized how I think/feel in one moment ends up being entirely contrary to how I think/feel in another. Like feeling over the heartbreak - one day I feel free as a feather, the next it’s like love is gone forever. And what gives me consolation one day doesn’t work the next. So I’m learning from the process but the experience is a chaotic one necessarily. And it’s gone deeper than I imagined possible

What Tarmander said is Okay, in my case. At least they bothered to say something when they saw someone struggling.

 

[Tarmander]

what are you even talking about? people who are hopeless need the most help, not to be made to feel guilty for feeling as anyone would in a ***t situation & definitely not given some otiose sentiment about being “loved by God” which does absolutely nothing to help. lol wow.

As someone who has been hopeless and felt like OP at times, my experience, as a man, is that it drives people away from you when you need them most.

Until I posted in the thread, pointing this out, this thread was going to fall off the main page and disappear. Now people like you can get up on a high horse, post in here, so maybe OP will get some help. You might be surprised how much God can help.

 

[mrchibbs]

Man, if you only know how much I feel you totally.

I'm 28 and my life has been difficult for over 6 years as well.
Early 20s, several deaths in the family, feeling lost, stopped all exercise which was beneficial in my teens, had a terrible job in a hospital.
My stress was constantly elevated for 2 years, and then it left me depleted. I tried to work my way back, and about 3-4 years ago I was functioning OK, sometimes even happy, but I was always extremely tired and low energy.

And then I had a massive health collapse more than 2 years ago, with mold infection and overwork, which led to terrible breathing difficulties, and stomach problems. I've managed to recover from what looked hopeless even a year ago, but recently, I've been dealing with a massive emotional cascade, which has led me to a little meltdown, I'm eating less, super sad about lost time, stressed out, lonely etc.

It's a process and I think it's another phase of the recovery, I haven't really felt strong emotions like this since forever, and from watching Tim Berzins on Youtube, I've come to understand the importance of sitting with the emotions and letting them be there, even when it hurts like hell. I try my best to support my physiological needs with pregnenolone to stop the stress hormones, and enough fructose to keep carbon dioxide high, and energy production going. I take cascara to avoid constipation because when you're stressed out the intestines become a sneaky source of further problems.

You to need to ride out emotional periods, you can't suppress them, you need to cry at will, talk to people. I've never ever felt the need to confide in people, and recently I've become so emotional that I've finally reached out to people around me for support, after years of shunning their help. It's humbling AF.

Make sure you do all the little things to lessen the burden, take thyroid, take all the compounds like pregnenolone or progesterone/DHEA which can help. Eat nutrient dense foods to compensate for lack of appetite. Meditate close your eyes and breathe slowly, and focus on ONE aspect of your life which you know you must improve. One thing at a time, and move forward. Realize that in your current stressed out state you won't be able to figure things out, let yourself relax as much as you can, and get into a more comfortable state of mind to fix the problem.

I'm not saying it's easy, it's ******* hard as hell. Just a few short years ago I felt I was resilient despite intense stress and this illness has brought me to my knees. Don't ever give up.

In a negative emotional state, you don’t have access to the thoughts that could fix the problem. What's needed is to let go of the problem, come up to a higher state where you’ve relaxed and you’ve come up to your senses. Now you’re actually effective in being able to do something about the problem and being in fear. - #20: Keto & Carnivore Diets, Emotions, Euphoria, and Negative Affectivity with Tim Berzins

 

[mangoes]

I think you’re right, in the sense that over time, I’ve realized the importance of incremental steps. For example if I have low blood sugar and no energy, I have no energy to cook better things. I have to start at low preparation foods I will want to eat and that I won’t feel bad after eating. I also realized I should probably have experimented with more supplements early on. A lot of people have said you don’t get effects from supplements without having a solid diet first, so I didn’t try take many supplements. In truth I could have benefitted anyway.

I often have thoughts in line with what you’re saying. The fear is in fact that these type of cycles are never-ending, because I never see permanent signs of progress. I’ll say, "I have to give this my best shot now. Now is the time," and I feel better in some sense when I know I’m working towards getting better rather than putting it off. And on the face of it, a person on good health might say - yes, then get on with it. But in my experience, there’s no compartmentalizing one’s unhappiness until the storm passes over. Because in this situation, there’s no real relief. There’s no moment where you get an actual break, and most people don’t understand you. Additionally to take Peat seriously, I think there’s some sense that being severe with oneself only intensifies the chronic stress state. So I find myself motivated for a number of days until something completely destabilizes me. For example, thoughts of my ex. Or feeling misunderstood or betrayed by a friend or family member. Not being able to sleep at all some nights because of pain. Feeling lonely to the point I won’t stop compulsively using my phone and the internet. It’s the way these things end up fitting together that I realized I need to tackle.

I realized how I think/feel in one moment ends up being entirely contrary to how I think/feel in another. Like feeling over the heartbreak - one day I feel free as a feather, the next it’s like love is gone forever. And what gives me consolation one day doesn’t work the next. So I’m learning from the process but the experience is a chaotic one necessarily. And it’s gone deeper than I imagined possible

What Tarmander said is Okay, in my case. At least they bothered to say something when they saw someone struggling.

You obviously have better insight into your own condition then what I do going off of a few posts, I wanna say though, that I also agree with Peat about chronic stress and overdoing it, but I also think it’s possible to be too lax on yourself. I’m not saying go run a marathon or anything lol, nothing physical really, but in my own experience challenging myself, even just mentally, has been helpful in a lot of ways, and I believe in the concept of eustress.

I can’t understand your situation completely, but I can relate to not getting a break from some physical ***t. Obviously I’d love more than anything to fix it, but I think my point is that despite that stuff ongoing, I realised I can either be down about it or I can essentially suck it up. I still have bad moments of course, but I also think it’s made me a better person in a lot of ways. Any type of suffering is an opportunity, to choose how you deal with it. Do I let ***t destabilise me or do I pick myself up and try again? And thats what I meant about building resilience. Like you said it’s an ongoing process and you’re clearly on your path, I hope you can find your way to more sustainable healing.

and I’m glad what @Tarmander said is okay by you, no harm done, but I still stand by what I said regardless

As someone who has been hopeless and felt like OP at times, my experience, as a man, is that it drives people away from you when you need them most.

Until I posted in the thread, pointing this out, this thread was going to fall off the main page and disappear. Now people like you can get up on a high horse, post in here, so maybe OP will get some help. You might be surprised how much God can help.

Like any other message to bump the thread wouldn’t have served the same purpose?

as someone who’s also been in a similar position to OP, and in some ways still is, I’ll sit firmly upon my high horse if you wanna call it that on this one. Even what you’re stating as your own experience backs it up, but that doesn’t mean hopeless people don’t need help. I’ve worked with high risk suicidal people before, and the type of message you posted is exactly the same as what they’ve received. The discourse itself needs to change.

as for God, well I’m glad that was helpful for you. For many of us though, it isn’t. And not even for a lack of trying. I’m sure God loves ALS patients aswell, but that does little to save their failing bodies.

 

[Tarmander]

but that doesn’t mean hopeless people don’t need help

I don't think you are talking to me, but someone in your past

Are you a man or a woman?

 

[mangoes]

I don't think you are talking to me, but someone in your past

Are you a man or a woman?

looool let’s just leave it at that I don’t wanna derail OPs thread any further

 

[Tarmander]

looool let’s just leave it at that I don’t wanna derail OPs thread any further

I am guessing a woman. That isn't bad, but men and women go about helping people differently.

In my experience, and in general, men need truth more than they need comfort.

I want OP to get the help he needs, and he will get more of it if he asks in less desperation, even if he feels very desperate.

Feel free to respond and continue this back and forth, it will get the thread more eyeballs and more responses

 

[mangoes]

I am guessing a woman. That isn't bad, but men and women go about helping people differently.

In my experience, and in general, men need truth more than they need comfort.

I want OP to get the help he needs, and he will get more of it if he asks in less desperation, even if he feels very desperate.

Feel free to respond and continue this back and forth, it will get the thread more eyeballs and more responses

I even disagree with that but I will respond coz I do agree it’ll get him more eyeballs. If you look at the phenomenon of click bait you’ll see people gravitate toward desperation. Some of the biggest threads I’ve seen on here, of a person asking for help, included terms like “I’m suicidal” in the title.

I don’t see what my gender has to do with anything, but you assume wrong. To be fair I’m gay and there’s an argument gay male brains act more like females and whatever, so there’s that. But no, I still disagree, I think it depends on the context whether male or female need to be told truth or comforted, and to think it’s rather based on gender itself tells me about the type of gender roles you obviously buy into. “Boys don’t cry”

tbf I’ve only really experienced support from people in my life, so no I’m not talking to someone from my past, I’m talking on behalf of all of the people I’ve worked with on a human to human level, regardless of gender, who received “truths” like yours, and it did little to help them.

honestly I’m more interested at this point in your notion of an all-loving God. How did it help you? I notice you didn’t respond to my comment about ALS patients.

 

[GreekDemiGod]

I think getting vitamin D to around 50-60 (mid of scale)

Last year, I supplementd 5k-10k IU of D3 for a few months. Not that I've sensed any benefits, but anyway. Tested blood levels of D3 and they were on the high-end of normal range.
Stopped supplementing D3 since my endo warned me not to unless I have a proven deficiency. Since then, I've been spending not much time in the sun. Went through a winter and now it's spring, but I'm locked inside due to lockdown.
How long does of take for D3 levels to deplete / drop? Thinking maybe I shoud start on it again

our symptoms sound a lot like depression and sleep deprivation is surprisingly one of the only essentially fool-proof ways to cure depression (albeit extremely temporarily until you sleep again), but all it's doing is raising metabolism. So increasing thyroid and vitamin D (which has the same effect as increasing metabolism, even though it doesn't raise temps, as long as phosphate is low) would likely help.

Never heard this before. Are we talking depravation as in going sleepless for days? Very skeptical of this.
Now that I think about it, there is so little emphasis on this forum on sleep quality. I wonder why
We're all trying to have perfect hairlines and infinite energy out here, but that is not gonna happen with non-optimal sleep.

@Ashoka Ever thought of hoping on TRT? Would be an easy fix. How's your Testosterone?