How to Deal With Extreme Stress

[Lollipop2]

@Jackson Chung @GAF and @akgrrrl gave you the very best advice in the thread. I would not even attempt to figure it out yourself. GET immediately to an attorney who can give you sound advice. Seriously GET to an attorney and make sure it is a good one and Tier 1 firm.

 

[akgrrrl]

Thank you so much. I am in Michigan. Yes absolute secrecy. But can be hard with the extreme verbal abuse. She insults my family daily. Any mistake is punished. For example I took a geography test for her. Got 80. Final grade was a4.0. Still got yelled at. Some of her classes have online labs, i have to get 100%. That means doing a2 hr lab several times.

Thanks for a descriptive example. You know by now, there is little rationality from a psychopath except to achieve their own mission. You appear equipped to understand the situation, if you could but separate from the emotion of what a marriage should be, and proceed as a mission to survive and begin anew.

 

[akgrrrl]

@Jackson Chung @GAF and @akgrrrl gave you the very best advice in the thread. I would not even attempt to figure it out yourself. GET immediately to an attorney who can give you sound advice. Seriously GET to an attorney and make sure it is a good one and Tier 1 firm.

Good advice, thanks for chiming in to support this person.

 

[Velve921]

Leave.

Be prepared to spend some time by yourself and working on yourself. And do not think of the previous sentence as something negative. You are about to embark on a life changing opportunity for yourself that is something that can be rather exciting. You finally realized that you need to take control of your life. Go get em my friend. Be excited. Be focused. Be resourceful for knowledge and implement the answers to the questions you ask.

 

[Whichway?]

I’m going to take a guess here that given your surname you are of Chinese decent. If you are partnered up with a Chinese lady, my only advice would be that after you get free of this wild cat, do not go shopping for a partner amongst the Chinese people. I am partnered up with a Chinese lady and my experience with her, and my window into her friends leads me to conclude that Chinese women love control and expect their men to be cucks. To basically do and say as they are told, to hand over all their money and to be subservient.

I’m sure there are some good Chinese ladies, as all races have their share of good and bad people, but I just haven’t seen any in my partners circle of friends, and in the mainland Chinese at least who have been educated and brought up there, there are some really bad controlling tendencies.

 

[5a-DHP]

You need to read the rational male by Rollo Tomassi.
I don't agree with everything it preaches, but the vast majority of the information would be extraordinarily helpful to you within the context of your current situation.

 

[Whichway?]

You need to read the rational male by Rollo Tomassi.
I don't agree with everything it preaches, but the vast majority of the information would be extraordinarily helpful to you within the context of your current situation.

Good recommendation. He and another guy called Rich Cooper who has his own You Tube channel called “Entrepreneurs in cars” are resources worth looking into to help change your mindset to a more realistic one.

 

[akgrrrl]

Insightful, helpful comments from the RayPeat Forum to assist our fellow seekers!! This is why I love being here.

 

[rsandy]

Be strategic, don't lose out. You've been given good advice.

I also think it's positive that you've been given suggestions to reframe how you view relationships with women, and have been given some book recommendations here. This may be prudent should you wish to find another woman, but if you don't want to bother with them anymore, that's great too. Consider devoting your time to yourself and enjoying the richest, most satisfying experiences life can bring. They do not involve women, but rather, you pushing the limits of your potential.

Point being, you deserve a better life. You sound intelligent and hard-working. Once she's gone, there will be so many things you can direct your energy to. Build yourself back up energetically and with your new found energy and vitality, start again. There really is so much you can do it's unreal. You begin to see the world differently.

Keep going my friend and know that many support you.

 

[Peater]

Is she on any medication?

 

[Jackson Chung]

I’m going to take a guess here that given your surname you are of Chinese decent. If you are partnered up with a Chinese lady, my only advice would be that after you get free of this wild cat, do not go shopping for a partner amongst the Chinese people. I am partnered up with a Chinese lady and my experience with her, and my window into her friends leads me to conclude that Chinese women love control and expect their men to be cucks. To basically do and say as they are told, to hand over all their money and to be subservient.

I’m sure there are some good Chinese ladies, as all races have their share of good and bad people, but I just haven’t seen any in my partners circle of friends, and in the mainland Chinese at least who have been educated and brought up there, there are some really bad controlling tendencies.

Actually Indian. My best friend is Chinese so I am using his name. I grew up here in the US. She did not. Initially I gave her the benefit of the doubt as she had a bad past. But she gets worse with each passing day. All I do is help her and she gives nothing back. She acts like she deserves to be a queen and I’m her servant. Today is Valentine’s Day. It’s snowy. She’s mad because I didn’t find out which animals are showing at the zoo. How do I have the time? I work full time and when I come home I do housework and her homework. No free tone is allowed. But she watches movies all day.

 

[Jackson Chung]

Is she on any medication?

Just benadryl. I got her some cyproheptadine. Lets see if she takes it. I also got her some progesterone. She didn’t take it.

 

[Perry Staltic]

Any tips would be appreciated to help get through life as I execute my plan to get rid of her.

It would be a shame if she got provoked by you standing up to her and she hit you, and then you called the cops for domestic violence, and filed charges against her, and got a restraining order to keep her away from your home. Just make sure you don't hit her; let her leave a mark and show it to the cops and she'll be gone. Yeah that would be a real shame.

 

[rsandy]

Actually Indian. My best friend is Chinese so I am using his name. I grew up here in the US. She did not. Initially I gave her the benefit of the doubt as she had a bad past. But she gets worse with each passing day. All I do is help her and she gives nothing back. She acts like she deserves to be a queen and I’m her servant. Today is Valentine’s Day. It’s snowy. She’s mad because I didn’t find out which animals are showing at the zoo. How do I have the time? I work full time and when I come home I do housework and her homework. No free tone is allowed. But she watches movies all day.

Haha, that is frickin terrible.

I'm 3rd generation British-Indian, and have heard many, many stories like yours. It's also happened to people I am close with. I understand your wife's behaviour and totally understand the road you've been on that has put you here. Like it or not, you may have been taught some very flawed concepts for how to relate to women. I was. Much of what I understood about women was not true. There is a way out if you are interested in exploring. And if not, no worries. Women are not worth any impacts on your wellbeing or enjoyment of life.

What I will say is, the nicest, most kind, caring, sweet men are targets for women like this. They will destroy your life, take your soul and feel no remorse.

You are getting rid of her, which is great. She will find another sap to abuse and suck dry in no time at all, maybe under a week.

Right now, you are forming an exit strategy, correct?

Further to this, you are looking to establish how you can keep your physical and mental health in top shape, to help you in the process?

 

[Jackson Chung]

Haha, that is frickin terrible.

I'm 3rd generation British-Indian, and have heard many, many stories like yours. It's also happened to people I am close with. I understand your wife's behaviour and totally understand the road you've been on that has put you here. Like it or not, you may have been taught some very flawed concepts for how to relate to women. I was. Much of what I understood about women was not true. There is a way out if you are interested in exploring. And if not, no worries. Women are not worth any impacts on your wellbeing or enjoyment of life.

What I will say is, the nicest, most kind, caring, sweet men are targets for women like this. They will destroy your life, take your soul and feel no remorse.

You are getting rid of her, which is great. She will find another sap to abuse and suck dry in no time at all, maybe under a week.

Right now, you are forming an exit strategy, correct?

Further to this, you are looking to establish how you can keep your physical and mental health in top shape, to help you in the process?

Thank you so much! Yes a plan is in place to get rid of her. But I need to keep my sanity. Since we are both Indian. Might you share some stories? Who has it happened to? I’m surprised Indian women are this way. What did Indian society think of divorce?
Thank you so much! This makes me feel better.

 

[mostlylurking]

If you don’t know. This person I am married to came from an abusive household. While I never saw such things. She is used to these things. She told me she would beat her alcoholic father with a stick. I never would have thought she was this way. She is a true psychopath. There is no way manning up will work on her.
Any tips would be appreciated to help get through life as I execute my plan to get rid of her.

Spend some time learning about Narcissism. Here is an excellent source: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIELB1mz8wMKIhB6DCmTBlw/videos

start here:


and also this:



and this one!!



and finally, here's this one:

 

[rsandy]

Thank you so much! Yes a plan is in place to get rid of her. But I need to keep my sanity. Since we are both Indian. Might you share some stories? Who has it happened to? I’m surprised Indian women are this way. What did Indian society think of divorce?
Thank you so much! This makes me feel better.

You're welcome.

Yes, you need to keep your sanity. We can help you. Ray Peat's recommendations are excellent. You can also experiment with breathwork, this is very useful. I can message you a full list of recommendations. Furthermore, you will need to find activities to divert your mind into to help ameliorate stress.

Stories: My best friend for almost 30 years has a cousin who we are both close with. We socialise a lot and travel together, etc. He is a hard-working professional (heart surgeon). His wife was like yours, but also cheated on him with 2 other guys for around 3 years. One day, she just left, with his entire life savings (into the 6 figures). Nothing was ever heard from her again. This was about 5 years ago. He was left with 3 children and not enough money to pay for rent. Both me and my best friend leant him around 10 grand to help him and his children get through. He paid all this back years later and is happy with his wonderful kids. He didn't bother with women again, understandably. There are many other stories but I don't want to scare you as the women in these cases did some pretty evil, nasty stuff.

Indian women, like women anywhere, can be great, but can also be vile. My mentor is an Indian woman, she's a high level executive and has pretty much won the game of life. She is an older lady from a different time. I have the upmost respect for her, but I have never met another woman like her. Women today have changed and may not be worthwhile partners for men anymore. Many men have dropped out.

As other guys here have remarked, how you relate to women can bring out behaviour that is within them all which can be truly monstrous. If you allow them to exert influence over you, they lose all respect for you, are sickened by you, and will become deeply resentful of you. They will try to break you in any way they possibly can. However, if you change, become an alpha male type person, and relate to them differently, you can pretty much get away with murder. There is a certain type of man they go for and these men simply do not have the problems you describe. You won't beat them, but you can join them. That's you choice.

Divorce happens. Indian society is a bit ridiculous. So much happens but people choose to save face, keep a stiff upper lip, and lie through their teeth. I've heard many stories which shocked me to the core. What I will say is that times have truly changed. The old mentality is dead and buried, and trying to hold on to anything of this sort will only bring more suffering.

 

[GAF]

Thank you. Actually have you heard of offshore asset protection? Placing money in an offshore Trust. That is my plan. What do you think? I am trying to find a safe bank to do it with. Found some in Singapore that accept Americans.

Dude, I've known about asset protection, offshore, onshore since the 70's. you only are worried about a measly $100K. You'd lose half of that getting it set up and then your divorce judge would probably refer you to the district or federal attorney for fraud and you'd spend the other $50k defending yourself on your way to a felony conviction. You don't think they can track money around the world in 2021? And, she may be a whole lot sneakier than you think and she already has a copy of everything stashed away just waiting for you to pull a stunt like that, so she can hang you out to dry. Just searching for offshore tax havens on your phone or computer could come back to bite you. A judge has a lot of power and they can force you to turn over any information they want, if you are foolish enough to give them a reason. Not to mention the IRS requires you to report offshore accounts and if you don't the fines basically take all your money.

Your thinking has become very distorted and it's time to focus on LIFE. The old joke is "Do you know why divorce is expensive? Because it is worth it!"

Get a reasonably priced attorney. State law is what will say what she gets. Give her that and not a penny more. Thank your lucky stars you got out of hell and move on to a real Life and do not play with damaged goods or super psycho women ever again. Next time, long before shacking up, require the woman to sign a Marital Agreement keeping your income and assets separate property from hers. Even better, find a lady with a lot more money than you. There are a lot of them out there.

 

[member11823]

tyrosine

 

[PolishSun]

Maybe narcissism is a sort of brain damage?