Whenever I feel like I'm even remotely good at something...

[you]

Whenever I feel like I'm even remotely good at something, I think of all the stuff I've seen on the internet, and how there are countless people who are much more intelligent, clever, interesting, and talented than I am or ever will be, regardless of how much effort I put in.

I often ditch creative projects because I realize they'll just pale in comparison to what other people can do. For instance, I've tried dabbling in drawing and writing, but a couple minutes of browsing the web will yield results which make my work look absolutely horrible. So then I think "why bother" and delete what I make and tell myself I shouldn't try again.

If you look at places like DeviantArt or FanFiction.net, you can see so many cases of people with zero talent who continue to pursue things they'll likely never get good at. They are often mocked on really popular websites, publicly called out and laughed at for their lack of talent.

By no means am I saying sophomoric DA "art" is good, but maybe you can understand the message I'm trying to convey here. If you give up, you're a quitter; if you keep on trying, you're wasting your time, because you suck.

Of course, I can (and do) make things and never share them with anyone publicly, but even so, I can't help but feel like it's a waste of time and that I should give up because my work is so terrible. I delete my work on my hard drive even when I know there is no chance of anyone else ever seeing it. I just think of all the things people would say if they could see my projects. Perhaps this is the result of bullying when I was growing up, where kids made sure to make me hyper-aware of all my numerous flaws.

Is this logical, or just a an irrational response to an overexposure to the internet? If it's the latter, how can I remedy the situation? And does anyone here feel similarly?

 

[oxidation_is_normal]

Irrational, and it's cause is not exposure to the Internet. I know many people whose response to exposure to the Internet is more along the lines of, "oh my god, this is awesome, I'm going to work extra hard tomorrow."

You can bootstrap this reaction in yourself - and it is worth doing.

 

[halken]

It is definitely a product of bullying. More important than that though is the will to allow meaning to those who have harmed you.

I'm not really sure how you're measuring talent here, but you should remember that everything takes time. Just remember that any piece of work you see in comparison to yours has been a lifetime of sweat and tears before reaching that glory you are witnessing for your comparison against your work.

Nobody tracks process on the internet, they only track results.

The other important thing to remember is that your supposed to do this FOR the process, not the result. No one is ever satisfied with the result because it is fleeting (hence why it's easily trackable on the internet). The process is more fruitful.

Next, you need to expose your creativity to people of your level (and beyond). Vulnerability can only become strength if you are willing to let the light shine in. Let those who you value critique you so you can match that level of integrity. Your heroes MUST become your peers.

The last thing is the most important but also the most vague:

You must have faith in your work. Believe it will come to fruition someday as if your dreams are as real as reality.

It's a gamble, but life never deals with jokers.

Good luck.

 

[SQu]

This turned into an answer to your other post too - on too much internet time.

I'm a writer and I have teenage kids so I'm not able to remove what I think are anti-creative, time wasting things from my life just yet. Or theirs. I'm referring to the much hyped technology so many people are very carried away with. One of my main concerns about the internet and technology is that it's turning out a generation of people who think they're doing something (music, art, writing, etc) because they're looking at, reading, watching, listening, while someone else does something. Or they're tweaking it, re-arranging it, adding to it, etc. And this can make you feel like you're creating something anew. But it's an illusion. I know 18 year olds who want a career in music without an interest in playing an instrument, and they don't see the problem. They plan to produce or mix or something, but have no experience at all doing that either. And they don't see the irony, or the gap in their experience or their thinking. Kids are making movies and editing them on their cellphones, and that is great. But often they're doing stuff with things other people actually created out of nothing, and they don't see the difference. I know art teachers who are talented and famous artists themselves who cannot get a class of undergrads interested in learning to draw. With pencil and paper. They don't want to draw. They want to do things on the computer. They have an opportunity to learn from a master, and they aren't interested.

Of course technology has its uses and its breakthroughs. And its value. And its tools for creative people. Of course. But I think you'll find many people who are truly making things that weren't there before - music, art, books - mostly still do that on their own and use the computer to record or store or share or spell check etc.

Another way technology is the enemy of creativity in my opinion is by making you feel inadequate. There are so many people on the internet that some of them are going to be good, some better than you, but normally you wouldn't come into contact with that reminder every day. And in the form of an exhibition or a new book in the bookshop, it should inspire you, not demotivate you. It's easy to deflate one's own abilities and ideas. I remind myself that Shakespeare borrowed plots and did them better. There may be only so many ideas and someone's always done it before, but you can do it your own way and if you develop your own talents that way could be better. Who remembers the original writers of Shakespeare's plots?

The values that are being lost but which remain central to true creativity remain working on your craft, developing it daily, informing yourself of the stuff of true value - the artists who are pioneers in your field - staying abreast but having strict boundaries to online time, sites you visit, people you follow, the ways in which you judge their worth - can you hear /read/see their expertise? Their native talent developed and honed by years of hard work and development? It's easy to hear that Adel, young though she was when she first became famous, has developed her voice for years and is a total pro. It's easy to hear that others, just as famous, have not. The difference is everything. It's like reading up on Ray Peat and now being able to not bother with 99.999999% of the other health news 'noise' out there. Do that with everything and I think you will be getting the best of both worlds.

 

[honeybee]

Validation. If you seek validation from others for your art( or anything in life) before you have accepted yourself as worthy, then you will never get it.
I practice an art form that children born into that culture can do better than me -at times. This can be very discouraging at times. But I always return to it, it's my way of bringing something beautiful, and uniquely me into this world. And when I perform, some people genuinely appreciate my performance.
I've learned that I have to do it for me first and enjoy doing it and then I can share with others so they too other may appreciate it. And if they don't, well that's their own problem.

 

[jaa]

I share similar feelings whenever my progress at something stagnates. And then if the stagnation continues I re-evaluate my methods to see if much more improvement is possible and goals to see if what exactly I'm getting out of the activity. Usually that results in improvement or acceptance or taking up a new activity.

When I am improving at something I tend to get lost in it and enjoy it for it's own sake. Outside validation rarely entires my mind.

 

[you]

Thanks for the replies guys, very helpful.

 

[Jennifer]

I guess I would ask...does your work bring you joy in the moment before insecurities set in, you? A child, who produces finger paintings of three legged dogs or four fingered humans, thinks their work is beautiful. Producing art brings them joy and they're proud to display it, missing limbs and all. :)

Our world trains us to see things as a competition. That we must be better than the next person, perhaps as a survival mechanism? Unfortunately, that's from a fear based mindset and doesn't allow for the freedom that creativity needs in order to flourish. Whenever I feel my work doesn't live up to the next person's and see no point in its completion, I realize that it's not others I'm competing with, but myself. We tend to be our own worst critics, after all. Whenever I start to question the value of my work, I'm reminded of this quote by Martha Graham:

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open… No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.”

 

[Kasper]

Focus on progress. Don't compare yourself too much with other people.

That is the only kind of competition that I think is really fun. Not trying to beat anyone else, but just trying to beat the past "you". Maybe your drawing is better/more beautifull than something you have ever made. That is awesome :)