Pissed off at psychiatry

Discussion in 'Rant or Rave' started by Jib, Jan 27, 2014.

  1. Jib

    Jib Member

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    http://raypeat.com/articles/articles/th ... ties.shtml

    ^ I love that article. That and the "Rat Park" experiment on drug addiction (whether it's a written analysis of it on any number of sites, or the comic drawn about it by Stuart McMillen) are two of my favorite things to refer people to. Anyway, on with the rant:

    Sitting here by myself brooding about the herd mentality when it comes to mental (physical) illness. So much respect and trust for all these doctors instead of a respect for actual science and the human beings that are suffering from these problems. Looking at people as organisms isolated from their environment, or frozen in time at the current moment of diagnosis, like they're a picture taken of a culture in a petri dish.

    People's behaviors are both a result and a cause of their environment. It's incredibly complex. That is an incredibly complex phenomenon to observe. And yet people pin it down as if it could be explained in a paragraph. There are so many variables and it irritates me so much when people say things that imply those variables don't exist. "You're depressed. Your brain has a chemical imbalance and you need this medication to correct it."

    Even if a medication could help, it isn't that simple. I think that's completely disrespectful of the complexity of life. Even following a lot of Peat's ideas, I never hold them as an ultimatum. I would never ignore someone's thoughts and feelings and tell them they just need some more sugar and some aspirin (I don't think anyone here would do that either -- just making a point). What I mean is simply this: that the *real* ultimatum is the open-mindedness to new information while remembering that life is complex, and the need for science to keep evaluating and re-evaluating stagnant ideas that new evidence challenges. And to treat human beings with respect as the complex individuals that they are instead of something that can be summarized in a lab report.

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    And now the more personal rant:

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    I was born C-section somewhere around a month premature with Horner's Syndrome, scoliosis, one kidney, thumb hypoplasia, and not breathing with the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck, and had to spend the first part of my life in an incubator. Grew up in a dysfunctional family, ended up in therapy and on medication starting around 12 years old, was on Zyprexa, Buspar and Lexapro for years, during which time I regularly engaged in cutting myself and suffered from chronic suicidal thoughts, severe and rapid mood swings, severe depression, severe anxiety and insomnia that none of the medications seemed to help with. My last episode was in 2010, when I was committed to a mental hospital for the second time in 5 years. I had a nervous breakdown around that time.

    After nearly a day in the E.R., I was taken to the mental hospital and seated at a table with three doctors, all women. I explained everything that had happened* and poured my heart out thinking that they'd be receptive to at least something I was saying. I kid you not, there was complete silence. And then one of them just said, "We think you need medication."

    When I was offered medication at the mental hospital like it was Halloween candy, I refused. I had to talk to a doctor to explain why I didn't want to take some antipsychotic medication that I had no prescription for, especially since I had done absolutely nothing to warrant taking it. I ended up not having to take it but at least once out of sheer frustration and just giving up I took some pills they gave me that they didn't tell me the names of.

    When I asked the psychiatrist at outpatient what the medication she wanted to give me did, she said it would help me think more clearly. I asked why she thought I needed to think more clearly, and then I asked what the medication did on a physiological level. She looked at me sternly and just said, "I'm an MD."

    I repeatedly said that I didn't want to take medication and that I wanted to do talk-based therapy, because I had problems expressing my feelings and communicating them to other people face-to-face. They never respected that request and I never got it. Just pushing me to take medication that I kept refusing to take. Earlier on when I did take what they wanted to give me, it didn't help, and they ran out of options and the 'therapy' never went anywhere or accomplished a single thing.

    *The circumstances of my being there were that I'd sent an e-mail to someone that made them think I might be suicidal, so they called for a wellness check. The police came into my house while I was lying on the floor sleeping in my boxers at 3:30 AM, shined flashlights at me, made me get up and show them my e-mail. I couldn't find the e-mail I'd sent, and ended up showing them an e-mail in my 'sent' folder that was -- get this -- the e-mail I'd *originally* written to this person, but *didn't* send to them, because I decided it was a repeat of the same mistake I'd made the last time I was hospitalized when I was 15.

    I'd sent a similar e-mail to my high school teacher when I was 15, and that was the reason for my first hospitalization. I remember writing to her, "I wish I was dead, but I don't want to die." I didn't know how else to reach out for help or communicate needs -- I still don't know how to communicate needs, or even identify what needs I have, if any, that involve other people emotionally. Anyway, pouring my heart out meant explaining all that to them, and I even went so far as to say that what I realized I needed was to go home and ask my friend for a hug. I never learned how to ask for that. That's the last thing I said before they told me, "We think you need medication," and that and my subsequent stay in the mental hospital kind of killed my ambition. I never did end up asking for a hug, and it's going on four years later now.


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    To conclude


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    Common sense. A respect for the complexity of life, which includes human beings. Promoting holistic, open-minded thinking that questions conventional thinking and against-the-grain thinking without discrimination.

    I'm posting here because I don't know what else to do. Sometimes, like probably everyone, I want to save the world. Then I step back and look at myself and I feel so small and insignificant. It's a push-pull between believing something is right and true but then, upon realizing how hard it would be to implement those ideas into practical reality, feeling discouraged. Then you question whether your idea of a better world really has any merit to it at all, and if it the best you can hope for is to save your own self.

    *sigh*

    Okay, I'm done for now. Is that enough ranting and raving for you? :p I think I need to go to bed now >__<
     
  2. SQu

    SQu Member

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    Jib I know that my frustrations at the flood of disinformation from the medical industry and their intolerable patronizing can only be a fraction of what you feel. To be just one of a small group trying to find the truth while all around it is being covered up and distorted is often overwhelming, especially when our energy and strength is damaged to begin with. I know you to be a valuable contributor to this effort ,however - I remember you transcribed a whole interview for 180 and I always read your posts carefully and appreciate your thinking. I'm sure many here would agree. Dealings with the medical industry always leave me despairing and feeling like I'm living in an Orwellian dystopia - which I am! I Just don't always get reminded so forcefully of it day to day. Keeping out of their way as much as possible is good for one's state of mind and I'm sure you do already avoid them as much as you can. I am sure that you are on the right track to do the best for yourself. Flesh and blood connections may be tough but I think you connect well here. I wish you so the best.
     
  3. SQu

    SQu Member

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    All the best I mean
     
  4. OP
    Jib

    Jib Member

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    Thank you sueq. I really appreciate that a lot. I felt safe posting here because I know people here "get it" -- when I try to open up to people who don't understand where I'm coming from, my frustration can come off like overreacting, being paranoid, being a hypochondriac, or all of the above.

    Just took an epsom salt bath while fantasizing about rejuvenation tanks becoming a treatment of the future: bathing in a distilled/purified water solution with a high concentration of magnesium sulfate and sodium bicarbonate, while hooked up to some kind of partial rebreathing respirator that would slowly build up the levels of CO2 in the body over the course of an hour or a little more.

    It would be like a clinical version of an epsom salt bath. Have it in a room filled with 650 and 850nm infrared lights, put on some protective green goggles, and listen to some Infected Mushroom, and welcome to the future. I'm going to have to try doing a makeshift version of this someday :p
     
  5. Blossom

    Blossom Moderator

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    I feel your pain and want you to know you are not alone. I was a victim of the psychiatric system for years and it was a horrible nightmare. I can't begin to tell you how much your post meant to me. The system is so flawed. 5 years ago I got out of the system just in time and everything has steadily improved since then. The sad thing is I was the one who initially sought psychiatric care for myself. I was convinced that I was mentally Ill but really I'm not in the least. I no longer buy into what other people think and I just take care of myself. I pace myself, eat well, get adequate light and co2, honor my feelings, respect myself and try to keep it simple. I was off the meds about four and a half years and making it but when I discovered Peat's work I finally felt like I was home. I became empowered by the beauty of reading his articles and knowing in my heart they were true for my situation. Since I have added some anti-serotonin agents I feel a rebalancing and calmness. Thanks for sharing, you are not alone in this area.
     
  6. j.

    j. Guest

    Sorry to imply advice for medication BUT

    Do you take thyroid? It's great stuff.
     
  7. OP
    Jib

    Jib Member

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    Thanks for sharing. I feel the same way about Peat's work. It makes me feel good when I'm reminded that I'm not alone.


    It's funny, the approach psychiatry takes is something I more or less completely agree with: treating a condition. It's just that the *specifics* of the approach are what I completely disagree with. I'm not against the idea of medication at all; I'm only against biologically inappropriate medication. I've basically been running a one-person clinic in this house by taking care of myself. It's like an in-patient unit without the oppression and with 'medication' based on diet, exercise and some select supplements inspired by Peat and a lot of the users here.

    To answer the question: I have been taking American Biologics thyroid for a number of months now.

    I started out on 1/8th tablet, and now I'm up to 1 and 3/4 tablets. My morning temperature is still low (usually around 97.3 oral), but I think in combination with everything else the thyroid has been helping a lot. 1/4 tablet was way too much to start out with. It made me extremely anxious and spaced out. That's very interesting considering that now I take a full tablet in the morning and 3/4 tablet in the evening. I tried taking 1 tablet in the morning and 1 tablet in the evening but that's too much for me right now.

    But the whole idea that it makes you more sensitive to adrenaline, but that it helps to slowly bring adrenaline down over time to a normal level, really resonates with my experience.

    Even though my temps are still low, I've noticed -- over the past year+ of Peating -- my anger, aggression, and daily levels of anxiety have *plummeted*.

    All of my childhood and adolescence I had extreme anger problems. I would punch holes in the wall, yell, threaten people, constantly have extremely violent fantasies about killing people that did things to me, etc. I would get out of control very easily and it would literally feel like I was nothing but pure rage. It took over most of my life, and also as they say, depression is anger turned inwards. So I was pretty much angry all the time.

    By massively increasing my daily sugar intake, sharply cutting back on PUFAs, getting a fair amount of protein from gelatin, and taking thyroid along with Vitamin E, I've noticed what I would consider miraculous changes in my behavior.

    I did notice that L-methylfolate helped a lot with my anger, and I started taking that before I got more seriously into Peat, FWIW, but after starting a Peat-inspired diet and sticking to it for over a year I think I can safely say I feel more mentally stable than I've ever felt in my entire life.

    The only downside is I feel like I'm a missing case study. If people haven't experienced mental illness it doesn't matter much to them, and I can't blame them for that. But to me this has all been nothing short of a miracle. I wish more people knew about it so they could see that there is hope.
     
  8. jyb

    jyb Member

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    I can relate to your post a lot, both the symptoms and the recovery. The lethargy I can experience as a hypo symptom seems intimately tied to anger and aggressiveness. The lethargy creates dysfunctions, in particular its difficult to function in a social situation and anger or avoidance is like a defense.

    However I wouldn't say other people need the same diet. Most people I know are perfectly healthy even eating a pretty average diet with grains, not that much protein, a bit of pufa etc. They mood and energy doesn't seem as much affected by diet as mine.
     
  9. OP
    Jib

    Jib Member

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    Poor nutrition leads to poor behavior, poor behavior leads to social problems and more stress. Having problems predisposes you to having more problems. The cycle has to be cut off at the root or it'll just keep repeating more and more viciously over time, like a snowball getting bigger and bigger as it rolls.

    I wonder if there really is a 'best diet' for humans, and that how much you can get away with depends on your genetics and your early life experiences. Some people seem to be perfectly healthy on a low-nutrient, moderate or even high PUFA diet, but I wonder what their children would be like, and what their children's children would be like.

    The 180 Degree Health blog is no more, but there was a very good post there called "Stress vs. Stress Response," which had something of a case study of an African woman in excellent health who lived in terrible conditions growing up. She had perfect teeth and facial structure and beautiful skin. Her diet was pretty poor. However, when her kids were born, they had crooked teeth and allergies and pretty compromised immune systems.

    For people who are more or less okay and don't have any outstanding health problems, I think you can be a lot more lax with the diet. But sometimes I think of it like money in a bank account; if a person has a ton of money, they can afford to be pretty careless with it. But to someone who has very little, they need to be much more careful.

    The ironic part is people who get into Peat are (probably) more likely to suffer from severe health problems, physical or psychological. So a person who follows a Peat inspired diet might end up being much less healthy than other people, simply because their problems were more severe to begin with. A person born with robust health and who experienced a healthy environment growing up may never pay even an iota of attention their whole lives to anything they eat or drink and be in better health than someone who's studied nutrition their entire lives.
     
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