Extreme stressful situations

[Nstocks]

I've been putting a few things together and I think there is a connection with my high stress days (work) and the days following that.

I work 20 hours in retail, front end managing 12 "self service" checkouts. (they are anything but). For 6 out of the 10 hour my shift (ending at midnight) I work completely on my own. Imagine 5 customers needing help, one who has smashed beer all over the floor, one who needs a price checking on the other side of the huge store and one that needs to speak to a manger. All whilst having to watch over each customer to check they aren't stealing. Of course this is my job and most people have high stress jobs too, this post it to research any ways of reducing the stress at work. (other than breathing exercises that I do)

Moving on, within a hour of being at work my face is on fire, eyes are blood shot like I've not slept in days and I never digest my lunch. The following day or two I don't have a single bowel movement and my skin looks like I'm suffering from some sort of allergy and sunburn. I'm quite certain this is the cause of my mild acne too.

For a long time I've considered anti-histamines for my bloating, dark under eye circles and blocked nose. I know sugar and good diet can help suppress stress but at work in particular, that isn't enough.

EDIT: I'm working on a new job already, one that is completely different to retail and closely connected to nature

 

[Energizer]

What did you end up finding? I have a similar challenge with the stress of work (I also work in a grocery store), looking for ideas for lower stress jobs, I was thinking something along the lines of doing park ranger work.

 

[Anonymous]

You need to step back and accept that you cannot control all of these situations. While it may seem this way to you and your superiors, all of these complications that occur throughout the day are not a reflection on you. The simple answer is to find another job. But that is just a band-aid. It is not a long term fix. Yes, you may need to take some time off to allow your body to heal, but ultimately this is a mental issue. Why is your body in this state of fear? Look at everything that goes wrong with acceptance. By acceptance, I mean look at these situations as if you had chosen for them to happen. Learn to watch where your mind goes, labeling events and situations as negative. This creates the anxiety and stress.

If this does not resonate with you, you may want to read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. The book will open your eyes to a dimension you never knew existed. You are conditioned to believe that your performance at work is tied to your identity, so any threat puts your body in a state of fear because it is essentially under attack anytime something goes wrong at work.

And I don't mean to downplay your situation. I'm sure it's tough. But don't beat yourself up. All you can ask of yourself is to do the best you can given the circumstances.

 

[Nstocks]

You need to step back and accept that you cannot control all of these situations. While it may seem this way to you and your superiors, all of these complications that occur throughout the day are not a reflection on you. The simple answer is to find another job. But that is just a band-aid. It is not a long term fix. Yes, you may need to take some time off to allow your body to heal, but ultimately this is a mental issue. Why is your body in this state of fear? Look at everything that goes wrong with acceptance. By acceptance, I mean look at these situations as if you had chosen for them to happen. Learn to watch where your mind goes, labeling events and situations as negative. This creates the anxiety and stress.

If this does not resonate with you, you may want to read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. The book will open your eyes to a dimension you never knew existed. You are conditioned to believe that your performance at work is tied to your identity, so any threat puts your body in a state of fear because it is essentially under attack anytime something goes wrong at work.

And I don't mean to downplay your situation. I'm sure it's tough. But don't beat yourself up. All you can ask of yourself is to do the best you can given the circumstances.

The anxiety and stress comes from customers grabbing my arm, swearing at me, telling me what a f****** ***t store this is (it's actually rated the best in the UK). This happens every week because management won't spend £14 to get the last two hours covered which are the worst of them all. Maybe if I walked into my job half-dead without a care in the world, an expression on my face I wouldn't become so involved? But then I'd have my managers barking at me when they know I typically good great service.

I've read 'The power of now' and mentally as soon as I leave work I forget everything. The stress and tiredness is hard to come over. I'm back at work in 1 hour where it will all start again, alone for 6 hours. You're right, I DO feel like I'm under attack, for reasons outlined above which I quite arguably out of my control. I wish there was a way to suppress that 'fight or flight' mode because it's completely wearing me out!

I also think that having to stand in the same place, with a enforced stance, facing forward, arms locked behind my back, watching over everyone, like I'm a robot de-humaning - doing to same take thousands of times per day too. (I see 4000 customers on a Saturday through self service) and getting nit-picked if I don't say "goodbye" to one of those customers.

Maybe I should look at taking my mind out of work and think of something else, like singing a song in my head or in some cases, telling myself it is out of my control and forget about what the customer will end up saying. I always find the ending of the fils 'American Beauty' to be relaxing too

 

[Nicholas]

it's possible to work in customer service type environments, i believe, where a lot of the stress is management related. in other words, it's easy for me to think that these environments are inherently stressful - but when i worked for a company where they had really honed the art of effective management.. a majority of that common stress was non-existant. i think the only definitive answer is that sometimes, the stress in our lives is not based in our own minds or in our physiology. identify the problem specifically and then make judgments/changes. it is completely justifiable to desire a new job if you are working for proverbial harsh taskmasters or if you are simply suited more for a different profession.

 

[Nstocks]

I'm thinking about taking cyphyrophetadine. It probably won't directly help with stress but this long list of what it can help with seems quite good to me.

viewtopic.php?t=2508

 

[tara]

10 hours at that, I'm not surprised you find it stressful.
Good food/drink before and after shift and at break times, and snacks in pocket for during shift.
Get outside for a little daylight at every possible break time - I suspect long stints of flourescent only lighting could be part of the problem?
Maybe go to a yoga class - might help with finding a way to make the long standing easier on you?
And if you have some regular customers, maybe you can figure out a way to connect a bit more to make it more meaningful, and with workmates?

 

[Amazoniac]

Just a suggestion: instead of keep repeating in your head that you're in a stressful situation and that will take its toll on you soon, try to use that time to listen to interviews that you find interesting. It doesn't matter what, as long as you find it engaging. You can have on ear occupied with an in-ear headphone and the other opened to the environment. There's a biologist named Ray Peat, have you heard of him?
You can also record yourself saying: pboy is our master. Put that on repeat and have fun during your work hours..

 

[Such_Saturation]

That headphone better be some 007 style device

 

[4peatssake]

Here's a few things that come to mind that may help.
I'd try these in combination with tara's suggestions for meals/snacks to keep the physical body happy.

1. Stay open minded and look for the beauty in each experience. The toughest ones I have found have been my greatest teachers.

2. Consider the challenges a test of character and a means to grow. I think impaired or emotionally unstable customers should be handed over to management or security (unless you have specific training for this) and for the rest I'd consider myself perfectly capable of handling them - even the most disagreeable ones. I was in a store recently and the woman waiting on me was horrid. Fortunately, I could recognize that she was in what I call hormonal hell and was really struggling. With that recognition came compassion and rather than getting upset over bad customer service, I began saying a mantra and could easily keep my cool.

3. Use mantras to stay calm and relaxed. This is the very best tool in my toolbox for staying in balance when stuck in traffic, lines etc. That and focusing on my breathing if I feel myself getting out of balance. So I think mantras could work really well in your type of work environment, especially when working with difficult people you can't get away from.

4. Don't bring work home. Sounds like you already drop stuff at work as soon as you leave.

5. Go above and beyond. Being in the service industry can be extremely stressful. I think the most successful people in the service industry choose to go above and beyond what is expected. Certainly not to the point of overtaxing oneself but rather being someone who approaches those they serve with a genuine desire to help and be of service to them. I know for myself when I am unable to do this, I have not met my own needs and the result is not being able to properly help others.

Hope this may help.
Good luck!

 

[Nstocks]

10 hours at that, I'm not surprised you find it stressful.
Good food/drink before and after shift and at break times, and snacks in pocket for during shift.
Get outside for a little daylight at every possible break time - I suspect long stints of flourescent only lighting could be part of the problem?
Maybe go to a yoga class - might help with finding a way to make the long standing easier on you?
And if you have some regular customers, maybe you can figure out a way to connect a bit more to make it more meaningful, and with workmates?

I always 'fill up' before work and get some good food on my break. Eating on shift is a sackable offence, as is drinking anything but water in a clear plastic bottle.

There's a small hillside near the carpark that I sit out on occasionally and it's refreshing to get away from the lighting that since my first day there turn my eyes red and angry looking!

Actually, when I manage to sneak in a few minutes with colleagues, I have a great time! We always try to have some laughs, until a insecure customer complains that we are laughing. (seriously, it happen a lot). I have a few regular customer that I've seen weekly for the past 5 years and those do provide a bridge for getting out of the constant nagging that goes on. Sometimes I have a great time at work, when talking to colleagues but the second a manager sees us standing next to each other, they come over and tell us off, even though we are paying attention to customers.

 

[Nstocks]

Just a suggestion: instead of keep repeating in your head that you're in a stressful situation and that will take its toll on you soon, try to use that time to listen to interviews that you find interesting. It doesn't matter what, as long as you find it engaging. You can have on ear occupied with an in-ear headphone and the other opened to the environment. There's a biologist named Ray Peat, have you heard of him?
You can also record yourself saying: pboy is our master. Put that on repeat and have fun during your work hours..

IF ONLY! Read the post above. They treat us like robots yet expect us to engage with everyone but our colleagues. There's absolutely no way they would allow for personal headphones (and I can't hide it since I'm in an open space between thousands of people). Somedays we have music but I find that just make it more chaotic, since it's on repeat for hours on end. (like the voice on the self service machine, repeating every command).

Following the day after I posted this thread, I blanked myself out the next day at work. I just pretended that nobody was there and unless someone shouted or pointed at me, I was mildly better off. I wish we could wear brown paper bags over our heads LOL. (I watched the film Tammy last week...)

 

[Nstocks]

That headphone better be some 007 style device

Invisible? Then yes, we could possibly get away with that!

 

[Nstocks]

Here's a few things that come to mind that may help.
I'd try these in combination with tara's suggestions for meals/snacks to keep the physical body happy.

1. Stay open minded and look for the beauty in each experience. The toughest ones I have found have been my greatest teachers.

2. Consider the challenges a test of character and a means to grow. I think impaired or emotionally unstable customers should be handed over to management or security (unless you have specific training for this) and for the rest I'd consider myself perfectly capable of handling them - even the most disagreeable ones. I was in a store recently and the woman waiting on me was horrid. Fortunately, I could recognize that she was in what I call hormonal hell and was really struggling. With that recognition came compassion and rather than getting upset over bad customer service, I began saying a mantra and could easily keep my cool.

3. Use mantras to stay calm and relaxed. This is the very best tool in my toolbox for staying in balance when stuck in traffic, lines etc. That and focusing on my breathing if I feel myself getting out of balance. So I think mantras could work really well in your type of work environment, especially when working with difficult people you can't get away from.

4. Don't bring work home. Sounds like you already drop stuff at work as soon as you leave.

5. Go above and beyond. Being in the service industry can be extremely stressful. I think the most successful people in the service industry choose to go above and beyond what is expected. Certainly not to the point of overtaxing oneself but rather being someone who approaches those they serve with a genuine desire to help and be of service to them. I know for myself when I am unable to do this, I have not met my own needs and the result is not being able to properly help others.

Hope this may help.
Good luck!

Some good points there.

Regarding the impaired customers, I have learnt to call the store manager more often when I'm at the end of what I can do for them. Only thing with that is it's very hard to do since I'm leaving the area to make the call, explaining the issue and then returning to the area to a bunch more issues. In fact, I did call the store manager on the night of writing this thread. 15 minutes later he showed up after 2 phone calls and announcement over the store speakers. (like at airports). He reported back to me saying not to call him again unless "it's an easier issue" (customer wanted to exchange a product). He did however appreciate that I was trying to do my best which is nice to hear.

3. Do you have any mantras that you could post or link please?

5. I find that there are quite a few people I especially go above and beyond for. I mean, I do the required customer service for everyone but if something clicks, I'll go way beyond their expectations and they seem very happy that I have. Generally those people are nice in the first instance so they are setting a good start for me...

 

[Makrosky]

When you have an infected tooth, it hurts and drives you crazy for you to know you have to pull it.

When you have a broken finger, it hurts and it won't let you use it until it's healed.

When you bite your tongue accidentally, it hurts so you know you have to be careful.

Have you considered that if you get angry and crazy 100% of the time at work it's a real indication that you should change the job? In the above examples the pain you feel is not for you to think about it, or accept it, or percieve it or anything. It just means : immediate action NOW.

I'm just wondering what do you guys think about this point of view.

Anyway, in my experience if my metabolism/gut isn't working properly no ammount of Eckart Tolle, Mantras or Whatever mental techniques will alleviate the emotional pain caused by external stress.

So I would say somethings than can help you are the usuals : saturated fat, avoiding PUFA, taking good care of the gut, good fruit, good cheese, sunlight and maybe you can try Niacinamide with or without aspirin. Works quite good.

 

[Nstocks]

Changing my job has been a goal of mine for the past 2 years. One company that I applied to was a complete let down after months of leading me on (then stealing my ideas). Another company is very interested in my application and I have an interview in a few months time. In their own words, because I don't live within 20 minutes from them, I have a slight disadvantage, though I've explained I'm in this for the long run and would move just as soon as I have a job contract.

You might be thinking, and it's reasonable to think; well that's just two jobs you have applied to. Reason being is that I don't want "just another job". I want, for lack of better words, a "dream job". I want to be in a company that I really feel I can change be being a part of it and contributing to some amazing ideas. Even if this wasn't the case, chances are a new job isn't going to be easy to come across and if it is, it will end up being in the same sector or retail/service, since these are common job and don't take much effort to get into. (in my experience)

However, like you said, I still think that my gut in particular is not working any where near optimal levels and that plays with my emotions a lot. I'm changing my diet again to yogurt and fruit juice as the main sources of calories and strongly considering cyphyrophetadine.

 

[Makrosky]

Changing my job has been a big passion of mine for the past 2 years. One company that I applied to was a complete let down after months of leading me on (then stealing my ideas). Another company is very interested in my application and I have an interview in a few months time. In their own words, because I don't live within 20 minutes from them, I have a slight disadvantage, though I've explained I'm in this for the long run and would move just as soon as I have a job contract.

You might be thinking, and it's reasonable to think; well that's just two jobs you have applied to. Reason being is that I don't want "just another job". I want, for lack of better words, a "dream job". I want to be in a company that I really feel I can change be being a part of it and contributing to some amazing ideas. Even if this wasn't the case, chances are a new job isn't going to be easy to come across and if it is, it will end up being in the same sector or retail/service, since these are common job and don't take much effort to get into. (in my experience)

However, like you said, I still think that my gut in particular is not working any where near optimal levels and that plays with my emotions a lot. I'm changing my diet again to yogurt and fruit juice as the main sources of calories and strongly considering cyphyrophetadine.

Mind you yogurt isn't RP friendly at all.

Well there are hundreds of other easy to get jobs that don't involve so much frustration with customers and managers and fluorescent lights as you describe it : night shifts in all sorts of places, security guard, bar tending in quiet bars and or hotels/restaurants, work in warehouses, lifeguard in swimming pools or the sea, receptionist, jobs in nature/sea, and so on.

You will have other problems with these jobs because it's difficult to have the perfect job.

It's good to aim yo what you want but you seem to have the idea of "either I get my dream job or all the other jobs are going to suck". Is this correct ? Then if this is the idea that animates your angry reactions at work then this idea is going to cause frustration on you over and over and over. In my experience a good metabolism helps to overcome unrealistic ideas. There are other approaches but this is a RP forum after all

Btw you can try the Niacinamide before the cyproheptadine. Never tried the later but I'm sure the former is easy to get over the counter.

 

[Makrosky]

I think it's quite normal for a sensitive person to feel alienated in big shops. Every time I get into a big shop in the city center I start to feel alienated, stressed and I want to leave as soon as possible.

The more packed with merchandise is the shop, the more stressed I get.

These places are supposed to be traps for you to consume but to me they do the exact opposite.

 

[Nstocks]

Changing my job has been a big passion of mine for the past 2 years. One company that I applied to was a complete let down after months of leading me on (then stealing my ideas). Another company is very interested in my application and I have an interview in a few months time. In their own words, because I don't live within 20 minutes from them, I have a slight disadvantage, though I've explained I'm in this for the long run and would move just as soon as I have a job contract.

You might be thinking, and it's reasonable to think; well that's just two jobs you have applied to. Reason being is that I don't want "just another job". I want, for lack of better words, a "dream job". I want to be in a company that I really feel I can change be being a part of it and contributing to some amazing ideas. Even if this wasn't the case, chances are a new job isn't going to be easy to come across and if it is, it will end up being in the same sector or retail/service, since these are common job and don't take much effort to get into. (in my experience)

However, like you said, I still think that my gut in particular is not working any where near optimal levels and that plays with my emotions a lot. I'm changing my diet again to yogurt and fruit juice as the main sources of calories and strongly considering cyphyrophetadine.

Mind you yogurt isn't RP friendly at all.

Well there are hundreds of other easy to get jobs that don't involve so much frustration with customers and managers and fluorescent lights as you describe it : night shifts in all sorts of places, security guard, bar tending in quiet bars and or hotels/restaurants, work in warehouses, lifeguard in swimming pools or the sea, receptionist, jobs in nature/sea, and so on.

You will have other problems with these jobs because it's difficult to have the perfect job.

It's good to aim yo what you want but you seem to have the idea of "either I get my dream job or all the other jobs are going to suck". Is this correct ? Then if this is the idea that animates your angry reactions at work then this idea is going to cause frustration on you over and over and over. In my experience a good metabolism helps to overcome unrealistic ideas. There are other approaches but this is a RP forum after all

Btw you can try the Niacinamide before the cyproheptadine. Never tried the later but I'm sure the former is easy to get over the counter.

Yogurt isn't peat friendly in large quantities no, but I'm fed up with bloating from milk alone and maybe yogurt will provide calcium, protein without bloat?

"either I get my dream job or all the other jobs are going to suck". To some degree because there are very few companies that exist that do what the company I have applied to. There are other paths towards a similar job, just not as "glamorous" shall I say.

The fact that I don't have the dream job has nothing to do with my anger at work. I get angry at work because customers are rude and I get all the stick whilst my managers go home and leave me alone. It's the fact that for £14, the issues will be halved since I will have someone to help by having a main checkout open, not just self service, which some people hate. Although there has always been stress in this job, it was only 2 months ago that it get really hard when someone left the company. Management never bothered to hire anyone to cover those hours so I had to pick up the slack alone. Not only that, but being the only one at the front end of the store, I frequently have to act as security as well, since the company doesn't bother to get cover for holidays/sickness. Again, this happened earlier this year with new management.

I tried Niacim but didn't feel any effect. Cyproheptadine will most likely be ordered in from Mexico.

 

[Nstocks]

I think it's quite normal for a sensitive person to feel alienated in big shops. Every time I get into a big shop in the city center I start to feel alienated, stressed and I want to leave as soon as possible.

The more packed with merchandise is the shop, the more stressed I get.

These places are supposed to be traps for you to consume but to me they do the exact opposite.

I think that and gut/metabolism issues just make it that much harder. I'm used to the store I work at, but that doesn't reduce the stress of customers.

Internet shopping covers the majority of my purchases so I don't have to go to these places. With home grocery delivery, I can never understand why anyone would want to visit a supermarket on a busy Saturday afternoon. If it's social, surely a park would be better?!