Children situation

[monsterjack111]

Hi everyone! Long time reader and really appreciate everyone's contribution, both in knowledge and forward thinking (Don't know if it make sense but I know you all got it) Really Really love it. This post is about my nephew and I already got my thinking wrap around it but I wanted to have others point of view on the matter. It would be really appreciated.

My nephew, who's turning 5 in a few month, has been diagnosed with ADHD by the teacher, the "kid specialist" and the "doctor". My sister is the type of person that as long as someone as a title and a degree, she will believe everything that person say. So, obviously, she decided that it was probably a good idea... He's apparently a nightmare at school, he's supposedly do all the bad thing that are not part of a well functioning human being (sarcasm)...

My take on this is very different... I spend a lot of time with the kid and he's VERY VERY different than any 5 years old I ever been in contact with (I've worked in a summer camp). First of all, physically, he's something else. He has a good 6 inches over all the others kids his age and very largely (not fat) built.

I also think that intellectually/mentally he's different... I have extremely coherent conversation with him. He's super analytical/critical about everything. Incredible imagination. But he's also very melancholic too and super serious about thing. When I'm with him, I usually try to mix things up between being physics and creative. We often take walk in the wood and I let him take my camera so he can take pictures or I let him paint with his hands while blasting music and he's always having a blast!

I think there's few important points. When he was 3 years old he refused to go on the toilet for a while and ended up poisoning himself with the toxins which maybe can lead somewhere from that point. My sister is also a very organized/structured person... always planning ahead and let little to no place for improvisation. She also believe all the cultural cliche about nutrition (and a lot of others things), so sugars is bad but tofu is top food (you get the idea).

When I think about the situation and the work of Ray Peat and the people on the forum I always have in mind "A mismatch between the individual and the environment"... I think this sort of outcome at such a young age will lead to a very detrimental development.

Anyway, I'll bring up other elements if I see people having point of view/interest on this.

Thanks

 

[Joocy_J]

I think there's few important points. When he was 3 years old he refused to go on the toilet for a while...


Thanks

I did this when I was a child.

Also, tell that doctor to go shoot himself(herself?) in the head and do everyone a favor. I was put on psychacritc medication as a child and it ****88 me up big time.

Does he have imaginary friends or visions of any sort?

How is his sleep? Does he have nightmares?

Seriously your sister needs to understand that if that child is put on psychiatric medication he will most likely grow into an adult that does not medication any longer and despises his parents for putting him on said medication. It is very important she understands this. All of my friends that grew up on psychartitrc medication no longer take it.

 

[Brian]

Here's a bunch of studies suggesting that ADHD is related to magnesium deficiency: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1684 ... ort=docsum

Give his parents some magnesium glycinate and Magnesium water for him to try.

 

[Godiva]

What you described sounds exactly like my daughter, including the bathroom issues. She is more of a small adult than a child and has been this way from day one. Very analytical, logical, and more serious than playful. She's never been in public school, but I have no doubt that she would be labeled difficult or ADD there. She has no tolerance for repetitive schoolwork. She learns almost immediately and any more than about 10 questions on one subject will cause extreme resistance. We use an online program that generally asks about 30 questions on a subject. Trying to get her to do it was a nightmare until I figured out that she hated being asked to repeat something she already understands. I now have her do the first 10 and as long as she understands it, I don't make her finish. This greatly improved her willingness to do schoolwork.

Another thing to consider is any sort of disability. My daughter and husband both have a visual processing disorder that limits the amount of time they are able to focus. It has nothing to do with eyesight so it won't show up on a standard vision test. They actually both have perfect vision without glasses while I'm blind as a bat without them, but I can read for extended periods without a problem while they just can't. (My husband will give me articles he's interested in and have me read them for him.) Kids with this will often be labelled with add. There might be other disorders to check for as well. Even very bright children can struggle with learning disabilities. Or he just might be 4 years old. I think everyone has add at that age .

He sounds like an intelligent kid who may be wired differently than the typical child. Kids like this who get the support they need excel greatly. If not, they struggle much more than their peers. There is rarely middle ground and they often don't do well with traditional methods. Good diet can help, obviously. You can try showing your sister mainstream articles that support Peat's theories. But I think a supportive environment matters more. If he has at least one person who believes the best in him and tries to understand his struggles and help solve them instead of just labeling him as inheriantly bad or defective, it will go a long way. If your sister or his father can be that person then great, but other family can fill this role as well.

 

[Nina]

I had a very positive experience implementing Peat's ideas for my son, who is 13 now.
He was ADD, depressed, had anxiety, etc. We tried everything starting at 7 years old. It's in details in this thread.

Maybe you could give your sister some studies to read? Since she respects titles and degrees.
About PUFAs for example, magnesium, vit B, and sugar.
My son benefits a lot from eating gluten-free. The gluten-free idea is "popular", your sister could be easy to convince on this one. However, most gluten-free products (like gluten-free bread) contain PUFAs.
Think long term, she will probably be hard to convince. It's a delicate situation, giving parenting/nutrition advice.

When my son was 5, I read this book: Raising your spirited child. Really helpful. Basically the book makes you understand that you don't have to make your child fit in the mold at any cost.

Is your nephew an only child? I ask because I also have a daughter, who is not adhd, not depressed, has no anxiety. My point is, sometimes we think we are bad parents and that's why our child is troubled. Then why is my daughter so well-ajusted? I'm probably an OK mother! We are doing OK as a family. Our nutrition was bad however. When nutrition is good, you don't need an armada of specialists around your - probably gifted - child to have him calm down.

It hurts me to read that a 5 year-old is labeled "a nightmare". I've seen it a lot, and I think it's totally unacceptable. Maybe that school is not appropriate for him?

Is your nephew like is dad was? Or like you?

You seem to think your nephew is "gifted", you could also have her read: Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children and Adults: ADHD, Bipolar, Ocd, Asperger's, Depression, and Other Disorders.
Simply because it could make her question the ADHD diagnosis. Also, parents of gifted-labelled kids are less likely to give them ADHD medication. If your nephew is gifted, chances are he's mislabeled ADHD, and suffers from a bit of anxiety and depression because he's bored, etc. In that case, he would probably benefit from more stimulation in school, or switch school altogether. It's important to know. And gifted kids sometimes have learning disabilities that you want to catch as early as possible.

Most parents think sugar is evil, and is the cause of hyperactivity. Sometimes my son invites one of his friends over, and that friend is very hyper. So I give him sugared milk, and it makes him instantly happy and calm. I love to see Peat's magic in action.

I agree with Godiva on this:

post 104178 He sounds like an intelligent kid who may be wired differently than the typical child. Kids like this who get the support they need excel greatly. If not, they struggle much more than their peers. There is rarely middle ground and they often don't do well with traditional methods.

Keep spending time with him! looks like you are making a difference.

Sorry for my english.

 

[SQu]

Similar story with my daughter, diagnosed add at 6, Ritalin prescribed but I could never bring myself to medicate her. She has the eye thing too , something to do with adjusting back and forth, and a really good optometrist should help. Also caffeine and coffee have been helpful. She's done well on peating and is doing well academically and in all ways and finishes school this year with great marks so it can be done. I think she's hypothyroid like me but peating seems to raise energy enough at the moment. I'd recommend not taking any diagnosis as the last word and as per above posts finding ways to work with a different but promising child.

 

[tara]

post 104213 Keep spending time with him! looks like you are making a difference.

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post 104296 milar story with my daughter, diagnosed add at 6, Ritalin prescribed but I could never bring myself to medicate her.

post 104296 I'd recommend not taking any diagnosis as the last word and as per above posts finding ways to work with a different but promising child.

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