A thimble full of moonlight

[loess]

Hemoglobin isn't a good indicator of iron status. Mine is high and ferritin sitting at 30~, slightly below normal.

I'm currently putting together an order for a whole bunch of bloodwork and plan on getting a complete iron panel.

Interesting. Maybe you have toxins in your blood that you aren't excreting for some reason.

Could be. Every single time I've donated blood over the past eight years since I began to do so after delving into Peat's work, I've had that same experience. Feel lighter (not spacey or lightheaded, just a distinct feeling of the lifting of the heavy cloud over my existence), clear-headed, temporarily regain of a sense of hope about life, which fades away in a day or so.

Those tests look fine, except for vitamin D, which means you should get Sun or a mercury vapor lamp.

Mercury Vapor Lamps For Vitamin D

Dr. Peat has mentioned in an interiew that he uses a mercury vapor lamp to obtain his vitamin D. Mercury vapor bulbs are an interesting technology because they give off UVA and UVB light. They are often used to provide UV to reptiles living in aquariums and can be found in pet stores or even...

raypeatforum.com

I don't like having to supplement vitamin D, but I do anyway because Sun at a high enough azimuth angle to let UVB through the atmosphere doesn't happen until early April where I live. I use Premier Research Labs D3 topically. Interesting on those mercury vapor lamps, I wasn't aware of those. I've never had the budget to drop $400+ on a Sperti.

What made you decide to try P5P?

Initially, seeing the lower reading on the NutrEval and wanting to ameliorate that, and following up by reading various studies on its potential anti-adrenaline, anti-inflammatory, anti-histamine and pro-dopamine qualities. My sleep/night awakenings have improved as well since supplementing P5P. I've read of Peat calling 10mg a "big dose", so I'm going to back off of it after a few more days.

By neuroinflammation, you mean brain fog and what other symptoms? I had neuroinflammation, and what felt like my brain swelling because my eyes were pressing up against my eyelids and they were hard to open and close. I consider neuroinflammation to be just brain fog. Just as various things can cause skin inflammation like cuts and burns, different things can cause neuroinflammation, but the result is the same. Brain fog, brain shutdown.

Head pressure located in the sides and lower back portion of my skull. Nothing behind the eyes for me. No headaches or migraines, but episodes of greater intensity of the "swelling" feeling were coinciding with louder/more bothersome tinnitus, visual snow, anxiety/panic, brain fog, despair.

I've come across this article many times.

Your “MTHFR” Is Just a Riboflavin Deficiency

Or one of hundreds of other genetic impairments in energy metabolism.

chrismasterjohnphd.com

I've been reading up on his MTHFR stuff, that's where I put together the riboflavin/glycine/choline/creatine thing.

That's unfortunately an issue with supplementing for chronically hypometabolic people. They have deficiencies in general, they supplement one or a few vitamins or minerals, they feel better, then they end up feeling worse because they make other deficiencies even worse. They think because they felt good that they should just take more of what made them feel better at first.

Yes, I've experienced this enough times over the years to try to be careful with it, but last year when I was backed into such a frightening corner with the viral illness and its aftermath, I was throwing the kitchen sink at it. TTFD is especially potent, and even though I did my due diligence in reading up on it and the need to use a good B complex alongside it, it still draws on all kinds of cofactors.

I forgot to mention that last week I ate twice the amount of liver that I usually do spread over three days and that really seems to have helped push things in a good direction. I'm going to try that again this week.

Are you sure you can handle Mexico, amigo?

In my current state? Definitely not. I did go down there in 2017 for about a month and have a friend who lives in Michoacan, so I wouldn't be completely green, but trying to navigate traveling internationally at this point I'd be way in over my head. I do want to get down there though.

The Great Reset isn't set in stone. You can still fight it.

That's the spirit, man. Just hard to feel confident when you've got no one in your real life who's awake to it.

Really appreciate your sharing your thoughts here, @Kayaker.

 

[loess]

Dropped quite a lot of money today on a series of blood tests for thyroid, androgens/testosterone, iron panel, and some other things. I just do not have the energy or clarity of mind to be able to advocate for myself trying to convince a doctor to order these labs for me. You really are on your own when it comes to navigating unknown chronic illness. I'm really burned out searching for answers as to what the hell is wrong with my brain and nervous system and throwing everything I can at it. My tinnitus is screaming this evening and my head feels inflamed. I'm going to try to find a functional neurologist in my area but I'm not getting my hopes up...

I've used pregnenolone and progesterone a lot but have been experimenting with allopregnanolone (Idealabs AlloP) over the past couple of days and it seems to temporarily mask/relieve the extreme uneasiness, panic and anxiety that lives in my system for several hours at a time. Problem is, it's almost too GABAergic and tends to push me into cloudy feelings of depersonalization and wistfulness. I can feel when it wears off and the tinnitus ramps up in intensity and the fear/grief/doom/panic begins to creep back in, which typically happens in the early evening hours.

I also ordered one of those mercury vapor bulbs to try out in conjunction with my incandescent lights.

 

[loess]

I seriously don't know where to turn anymore. Whatever is broken inside of my brain is at the core of what's wrong, and I have no support system around me to validate my experience and help me advocate the urgent need to dig underneath all of the symptoms and find out what it is that's producing them. I don't think this is a metabolic problem. My nutrition is robust, has been for a long time; there's not a single nutrient or vitamin that I'm wildly deficient in. This has to be some kind of ongoing inflammation, nerve demyelination, activation of microglia and astrocytes, mast-cell activation syndrome, some sort of bacterial or latent viral infection in my brain...something that started last April when I became violently ill, then stayed activated and it will not stop. I'm starting to seriously worry about my future and the implications of chronic neurodegeneration. For all I know this could be the beginning stages of something like Huntington's disease.

I've been barely surviving by using energy-promoting substances like pregnenolone, DHEA, progesterone, allopregnanolone, thyroid, and other peripheral things from time to time like cyproheptadine, but all of these are really only functioning as acute "band-aids". Like, for instance, I have been applying several drops of 10-methoxy-harmalan to the back of my neck in the morning and that tends to somewhat clear up the brain fog and fear/panic for a few hours before it begins to wear off. These things always wear off, and I'm right back where I started. I'm seeing and feeling no cumulative improvement whatsoever. It's not going to be sustainable to supplement specialized substances for temporary symptom management into perpetuity. I need a strategy that's will heal and regenerate and rebalance the system for good.

Frankly, I'm scared and beginning to descend into madness. It doesn't help at all that I'm unable to secure or work a job while my body is being played like a puppet inside of this condition; being isolated, largely house-bound, unemployed and without human companionship or touch is driving me into existential crisis. I feel like I'm "supposed" to seek out a neurologist, but I don't know where to find someone who isn't locked up in the ideologies and rigidity of conventional medicine. In that world, all that ever happens is that I'm shrugged off and given the run-around, offered prescriptions for anti-depressants and referred to a psychiatrist. The problem is not that I have some kind of ambiguous "anxiety disorder" that can be magically fixed with drugs, cognitive therapy and rationalization. The problem is literally anatomical and physiological phenomena and inflammation happening in my brain and I have no control.

 

[sweetpeat]

Are you still dealing with insomnia? You mentioned it as an issue, but I wasn't sure if you had resolved it.
The reason I ask is because it's going to be near impossible to heal the brain or body without restorative sleep. But you probably know this.
I'm wondering if the vitamin D deficiency is playing a role in some of your issues (sleep, depression, anxiety, inflammation). There are posts here about the research of Dr. Gominak on vitamin d and sleep that might be of interest. She also happens to be a neurologist. Probably the first thing she would say is get that vitamin D level up.

 

[InChristAlone]

Hey,
Check out my log, I've been documenting my recent crash with panic and posted some good help for those experiencing it as well. You can absolutely get out of this, and even if you don't feel 100% healthy again, at least you will be able to observe your symptoms without going down into the rabbit hole. I think using hormones and supps is just a bandaid, other than some b vitamins which I am experimenting with as a high carb diet can cause b vitamin deficiencies and panic attacks.

 

[InChristAlone]

Here is a good article on energy deficiency in the brain causing mental illness. Of course his angle is using thiamine to overcome the energy deficiency and hypoxia.
The Appalling State of American Health - Hormones Matter

 

[loess]

In the past two weeks I've begun to experience extremely frightening neurological symptoms. I believe I have finally figured this out after traveling through an ocean of red herrings for months and months. I think this is late stage neurological Lyme disease, and co-infections come along with it.

In hindsight, it all makes sense. I think that the flu-like illness that I got back in April was the onset, and the chronic stress that I was under in my life left my blood brain barrier damaged and open/eaky, allowing the bacteria to pass through it. I don't recall if I was bitten by a tick in March or April or if I contracted the bacteria elsewhere. A tick is a distinct possibility; I lived on an acreage in prime tick habitat and have been bitten many times before. They start coming out in late March.

I am now caught in an absolutely punishing feedback loop/cycle of new and worsening neurological symptoms that are greatly intensified by brutal insomnia. I can barely sleep because the borrelia and/or co-infections have screwed with my brain. When my body finally gives up late into the night and attempts to doze off, I am hit with a brain zap that flashes through my skull and resonates down into my chest, jerking me out of sleep. It feels like I am being electrocuted and is extremely frightening and uncomfortable. This happens over and over, dozens of times, until I somehow fall asleep for 2-3 hours. The cumulative insomnia produces a battery of psychological phenomena and debilitating anxiety/mania, and a kind of twisted burning fear/doom/tension that I don't really have words for that sits in the region between my sternum and my navel, which I think has to do with the complex ganglia of nerves that are in that area as well as the vast neural network in the stomach/small intestine/large intestine.

That insomnia lasts for days and also sends me into varying episodes of extreme shortness of breath, cranial pressure, my brain feeling like it's on fire, muscle twitches, nerve twitches, akathisia/inner restlessness, feelings of fear/doom that come out of nowhere, increasing shrillness of tinnitus, back pains, and a litany of other fun symptoms.

I have tried everything, and nothing conquers this infection that is worsening by the day. I'm at a loss as to where to turn from here. I am scheduled to see a primary care physician tomorrow, but I highly doubt that it will lead anywhere productive.

Lyme is (probably falsely) reported as rare in my area, so Lyme-literate medical doctors are all at 200+ miles from me. I've begun taking steps to try to make an appointment with one, but I don't have much hope.

I have tried everything Peat under the sun, but the infection is winning. This is the most punishing, transformative experience of my life and it's taken everything from me.

 

[loess]

Are you still dealing with insomnia? You mentioned it as an issue, but I wasn't sure if you had resolved it.
The reason I ask is because it's going to be near impossible to heal the brain or body without restorative sleep. But you probably know this.
I'm wondering if the vitamin D deficiency is playing a role in some of your issues (sleep, depression, anxiety, inflammation). There are posts here about the research of Dr. Gominak on vitamin d and sleep that might be of interest. She also happens to be a neurologist. Probably the first thing she would say is get that vitamin D level up.

Yes, I think the insomnia is the devil at the core of how all of this has been allowed to intensify. I have been taking 20,000 IU daily of vitamin D in olive oil topically (the brand is Premier Research; Danny Roddy had mentioned it).

Hey,
Check out my log, I've been documenting my recent crash with panic and posted some good help for those experiencing it as well. You can absolutely get out of this, and even if you don't feel 100% healthy again, at least you will be able to observe your symptoms without going down into the rabbit hole. I think using hormones and supps is just a bandaid, other than some b vitamins which I am experimenting with as a high carb diet can cause b vitamin deficiencies and panic attacks.

Thanks - I'll take a look. The panic is such a house of mirrors; the lines between Lyme and pre-existing trauma are blurred. I have a huge landscape of memories, thoughts, and events in my life that have transpired that are ripe for constant rumination, and the neuroinflammation flaring up sets it off like no other. Another way to say this, I suppose, is that I came into all of this with a mountain of unresolved trauma; this has mobilized it all into persistently haunting nearly every waking moment. The episodes of invasive, OCD-like images, memories, passages of music that repeat over and over in my mind, it's all happening against my will, but it's not merely a mental battle. The panic and claustrophobia bleeds down into my body producing a litany of somatic symptoms that are overwhelming, alongside the additional perceptual stressors of blaring tinnitus and the feeling that my brain is on fire. When I'm shunted into the worst of it, it is all I can do to hang on for dear life, and sometimes it lasts for hours.

I apologise if these posts come off as complaining, weak, helpless, etc. The fact is, I am a biological organism whose energy and structure systems have unraveled and I can't merely think my way out of this. I was once someone who had a high degree of pain tolerance and could rise above discomfort, but the old me is dead now. The war of all of this over past year has transformed me. My once robust core of faith and sense of self has been dismantled, and the infection + my lack of access to a metabolically and emotionally supportive environment seems to have derailed any cohesive chance at the body's capacity to self-repair. It's extremely difficult to navigate through the fog of all of it.

 

[InChristAlone]

Yes, I think the insomnia is the devil at the core of how all of this has been allowed to intensify. I have been taking 20,000 IU daily of vitamin D in olive oil topically (the brand is Premier Research; Danny Roddy had mentioned it).



Thanks - I'll take a look. The panic is such a house of mirrors; the lines between Lyme and pre-existing trauma are blurred. I have a huge landscape of memories, thoughts, and events in my life that have transpired that are ripe for constant rumination, and the neuroinflammation flaring up sets it off like no other. Another way to say this, I suppose, is that I came into all of this with a mountain of unresolved trauma; this has mobilized it all into persistently haunting nearly every waking moment. The episodes of invasive, OCD-like images, memories, passages of music that repeat over and over in my mind, it's all happening against my will, but it's not merely a mental battle. The panic and claustrophobia bleeds down into my body producing a litany of somatic symptoms that are overwhelming, alongside the additional perceptual stressors of blaring tinnitus and the feeling that my brain is on fire. When I'm shunted into the worst of it, it is all I can do to hang on for dear life, and sometimes it lasts for hours.

I apologise if these posts come off as complaining, weak, helpless, etc. The fact is, I am a biological organism whose energy and structure systems have unraveled and I can't merely think my way out of this. I was once someone who had a high degree of pain tolerance and could rise above discomfort, but the old me is dead now. The war of all of this over past year has transformed me. My once robust core of faith and sense of self has been dismantled, and the infection + my lack of access to a metabolically and emotionally supportive environment seems to have derailed any cohesive chance at the body's capacity to self-repair. It's extremely difficult to navigate through the fog of all of it.

You are absolutely right, you cannot use your thinking to get out of this. In fact it is the opposite you have to detach from your thoughts, and get out of your head, get out of thinking. You are stuck in extremely high fight or flight survival energy, none of your thoughts will be good in this state. They will be a perpetual state of doom. The good news is you can slowly start to regain regulation of your nervous system by accepting and allowing all of your anxious thoughts and all of your feelings of sheer panic and tension to just be there. Just allow it to be there and say 'oh well, I just don't care about you anymore'. This will slowly start to convince your brain that you are safe, that there isn't a tiger to run from. It's terrifying at the beginning as your nerves are so on fire, but it gets easier and easier to be so completely uninterested in these fearful messages from your brain that they just go away and your nerves calm down. You will have set backs, you will have days that are all fired up again, but they get less and less.

Now while you are accepting and allowing the anxious thoughts and feelings you can still work on other things that could be causing it, but the more you worry about why it is the way it is the more they will be there. That is the nature of our consciousness. I went through it many times! Nervous system so on fire I could only sleep a few hours. And the jolts of energy startling me awake I've felt those too. It's all because of survival energy. The breakup also may have depleted you, but I would encourage you to not throw everything at it. Especially not too many things that can build up and cause toxicity particularly the fat solubles. Vitamin A can cause hypothyroidism when in excess. I have found when in survival mode calories are by far the best relief, and satisfying foo, food that gets your salivary glands going and digestive juices flowing. I turned to cheesy potatoes despite being a recipe that's 60% fat. I felt it was so stabilizing. I can work on diet when I'm well fed later on. But don't worry over whether the diet will make you unhealthy or anything like that. Survival mode requires satisfying food.

You are not broken, you are not weak, you are just in a very high nervous state that is depleting you.

 

[loess]

I am very much believer in using things like acceptance and commitment therapy, EFT/tapping, learning to re-regulate your nervous system through acceptance and surrender, and so on and so forth. However, in my case, this approach can only go so far. The bacterial infection that's taken place inside of me has literally colonized my brain and my central nervous system; I am played like a marionette by these organisms, and they have their own agenda. I'm being ripped to shreds psychologically by their activity. I find myself locked into increasing episodes of suicidal ideation because of the interplay between the trauma of my past, the trauma of my present, the gravity of the reality that's upon me, the isolation that I'm living in, and the invalidation and communication barriers about my condition that sit between me and my mother, who is the only support system that I have.

What needs to happen is to reduce the bacterial load. But with stealth pathogens like this, it is a considerable uphill battle that takes place on the most complex of mountains. I thought this was neurological Lyme; a Borrelia infection - and it may be. But having traveled deeper into the process of collecting and logging my experiences and symptoms and cross-referencing them with the emerging literature that's out there on Bartonella, and the experiences of others who are dealing with bartonellosis, I think that the neuropsychiatric and neurological stuff that's going on with me is a Bartonella infection that's gotten into my brain and CNS. It could be both Borrelia and Bartonella.

Anyway, this thing tosses my brain all over the map on a daily basis. Just this afternoon I attempted to go for a walk to try to get some exercise and sun, and I found myself hit with a brutal wave of depersonalization, derealization and hopelessness while walking across a bridge that crosses the Missouri River and wishing that I had the courage to jump and successfully drown. When I got home, I did a coffee enema (the only way that I can get my bowels to empty on a reasonable time-scale; I do them every 2-3 days), and it all lifted momentarily. I know that my perceptual state is being largely driven by pathogenic activity, yet I am utterly trapped in hopelessness.

I finally found a Lyme-literate doctor within an hour of me and have an appointment with her on Wednesday. From my limited communication with her so far, it sounds like her background is in Lyme and its co-infections, and not so much Bartonella. But, she is a member of the International Lyme and Associated Diseases Society, so I'm confident in at least finally having a starting place and access to a medical professional to work with that can advocate for me and the actual biological truth of what's happening inside of me, and who may have connections to others who have more specialized experience in treating Bartonella.

There are herbal protocols for Lyme and co-infections like Bartonella, which I intend to investigate further. Regardless, from what I understand, with Bartonella there is really chance out of it without running antibiotic protocols that are certain to disrupt my microbiome and seriously mess with my liver. Throwing those systems and organs out of balance have the potential to create further problems and messes to clean up. Having dedicated massive portions of my life and energy toward maintaining my gut health, I'm distressed and distraught at bombing it all to pieces.

Clarithromycin, rifampin, rifabutin, minocycline, and methylene blue are all touted as being effective against Bartonella. I've been using MB and it does give me some temporary respite, but it's not enough on its own, and I'm hesitant to ingest it on a daily basis, let alone at high doses. I think a treatment protocol like this one may be a good place to start from, but the barriers to entry for me are considerable.

I'm concerned about die-off and herxing and running up against lots of things that work against my detox pathways. I tend toward constipation and slow motility. My sleep is abysmal, and I live in a toxic household with increasing tension and distrust between my dysfunctional family of origin and me. The house itself is overrun with EMFs. My sleep is abysmal. I do everything I can within the poor environment that I'm living in, but it's barely effective. I've had Seroquel pushed on me by the PCP that I went to see the other day, and if this was an acute bout of insomnia, I'd consider turning to it as a last resort, but it's not going to fix the cause behind the insomnia, and I can't afford to mess with regularly ingesting it, as it has been shown to cause tardive dyskenisia and a host of problems when taken long-term.

Emotionally, socially, and spiritually, I'm a shell of my former self. I have no close friends and am haunted by the trauma of my former life and my ex-partner, who has demonstrated that she does not care about me, yet I'm unable to remove her toxic presence in my mind. I'm entirely too unstable and ill to work, but without a routine and purpose, I feel progressively less and less motivation to continue fighting, and I'm finding that I've sunk into a life of bitterness and resentment. This infection is hell on earth, but even if by some miracle I recover, I will carry the trauma of all of this with me for the remainder of my life.

 

[InChristAlone]

I am very much believer in using things like acceptance and commitment therapy, EFT/tapping, learning to re-regulate your nervous system through acceptance and surrender, and so on and so forth. However, in my case, this approach can only go so far. The bacterial infection that's taken place inside of me has literally colonized my brain and my central nervous system; I am played like a marionette by these organisms, and they have their own agenda. I'm being ripped to shreds psychologically by their activity. I find myself locked into increasing episodes of suicidal ideation because of the interplay between the trauma of my past, the trauma of my present, the gravity of the reality that's upon me, the isolation that I'm living in, and the invalidation and communication barriers about my condition that sit between me and my mother, who is the only support system that I have.

What needs to happen is to reduce the bacterial load. But with stealth pathogens like this, it is a considerable uphill battle that takes place on the most complex of mountains. I thought this was neurological Lyme; a Borrelia infection - and it may be. But having traveled deeper into the process of collecting and logging my experiences and symptoms and cross-referencing them with the emerging literature that's out there on Bartonella, and the experiences of others who are dealing with bartonellosis, I think that the neuropsychiatric and neurological stuff that's going on with me is a Bartonella infection that's gotten into my brain and CNS. It could be both Borrelia and Bartonella.

Anyway, this thing tosses my brain all over the map on a daily basis. Just this afternoon I attempted to go for a walk to try to get some exercise and sun, and I found myself hit with a brutal wave of depersonalization, derealization and hopelessness while walking across a bridge that crosses the Missouri River and wishing that I had the courage to jump and successfully drown. When I got home, I did a coffee enema (the only way that I can get my bowels to empty on a reasonable time-scale; I do them every 2-3 days), and it all lifted momentarily. I know that my perceptual state is being largely driven by pathogenic activity, yet I am utterly trapped in hopelessness.

I finally found a Lyme-literate doctor within an hour of me and have an appointment with her on Wednesday. From my limited communication with her so far, it sounds like her background is in Lyme and its co-infections, and not so much Bartonella. But, she is a member of the International Lyme and Associated Diseases Society, so I'm confident in at least finally having a starting place and access to a medical professional to work with that can advocate for me and the actual biological truth of what's happening inside of me, and who may have connections to others who have more specialized experience in treating Bartonella.

There are herbal protocols for Lyme and co-infections like Bartonella, which I intend to investigate further. Regardless, from what I understand, with Bartonella there is really chance out of it without running antibiotic protocols that are certain to disrupt my microbiome and seriously mess with my liver. Throwing those systems and organs out of balance have the potential to create further problems and messes to clean up. Having dedicated massive portions of my life and energy toward maintaining my gut health, I'm distressed and distraught at bombing it all to pieces.

Clarithromycin, rifampin, rifabutin, minocycline, and methylene blue are all touted as being effective against Bartonella. I've been using MB and it does give me some temporary respite, but it's not enough on its own, and I'm hesitant to ingest it on a daily basis, let alone at high doses. I think a treatment protocol like this one may be a good place to start from, but the barriers to entry for me are considerable.

I'm concerned about die-off and herxing and running up against lots of things that work against my detox pathways. I tend toward constipation and slow motility. My sleep is abysmal, and I live in a toxic household with increasing tension and distrust between my dysfunctional family of origin and me. The house itself is overrun with EMFs. My sleep is abysmal. I do everything I can within the poor environment that I'm living in, but it's barely effective. I've had Seroquel pushed on me by the PCP that I went to see the other day, and if this was an acute bout of insomnia, I'd consider turning to it as a last resort, but it's not going to fix the cause behind the insomnia, and I can't afford to mess with regularly ingesting it, as it has been shown to cause tardive dyskenisia and a host of problems when taken long-term.

Emotionally, socially, and spiritually, I'm a shell of my former self. I have no close friends and am haunted by the trauma of my former life and my ex-partner, who has demonstrated that she does not care about me, yet I'm unable to remove her toxic presence in my mind. I'm entirely too unstable and ill to work, but without a routine and purpose, I feel progressively less and less motivation to continue fighting, and I'm finding that I've sunk into a life of bitterness and resentment. This infection is hell on earth, but even if by some miracle I recover, I will carry the trauma of all of this with me for the remainder of my life.

I'm really sorry you are going through this. I beg to differ that the organisms are thrashing your brain as you are very well spoken and articulate. You have full mental capacity it seems. You are just in an extremely high state of survival energy. And it sounds like you have a family system that is toxic. But you are a survivor and you have to believe that. Truly believe it. I listen to these songs when my fear is overwhelming:

 

[InChristAlone]

The book D.A.R.E. , a new way to end anxiety by Barry Mcdonough saved my sanity. Even if my body was struggling I had a way to retrain my brain to not be so reactive to my thoughts and sensations.
Here are the steps:

Defuse- when scary thoughts and sensations arise defuse them by saying 'oh that's no big deal' or 'so what' or 'oh well', when there is no real danger we need to tell our brain that it's overreacting to the situation.
Accept and Allow- try to release all tension in your body, go spaghetti, like a wet noodle. Do not tense up. Do not fight it. Anxiety lives in the resistance to it. Say out loud 'I accept and allow this anxious feeling/thought'.
Run towards- You will start feeling better when you aren't fighting the thoughts, memories or sensations. Ask for more! Get confident about it. Don't curl up in a ball and fight it. Say to the anxiety 'bring it on!'.
Engage- Engage back in your life. This doesn't mean distract yourself from the anxiety. The goal is not elimination, it's about the thoughts and sensations being unimportant. We are allowed to have the thoughts and sensations. What things would you be doing if you didn't have anxiety? Engage in those things. No expectations, say oh well to any sensation that comes up.

They have a youtube channel helping people with these steps: