troubledtimes
Member
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Messages
- 167
i was managing alot better in my 20s i went on an SSRI because i started getting intrusive thoughts that scared me half to death and my anxiety just got out of control. i will admit that ssri DID get me out of such a scary moment in my life i started feeling alot better after a few weeks on it. over the years it sorta lost its effect but i was somewhat managing life. in the past 2 years my anxiety and depression have become terrible. i tried to up the dose of my SSRI, ive tried an SNRI and mirtzapine, lexapro and quite a few others and i for the life of me cant feel better. i see other people hanging out with there friends at the basketball court, i see them sitting down in restaurants and i have NO idea how people can do that. because i would freeze and lock right up around a planned event. i get weird and uncomfortable around people so yes i have social anxiety. but at the same time im also angry and irritable. im arguing with people in public and im just not calm. im not bi polar because i have NEVER EVER had a time where i felt really good and manic and had alot of energy to get work done. im always low on energy and worn out from the anxiety, stuck with sad fearful thoughts that cycle through my head like i miss my dad who passed away, worry about my moms health. i tried to go for a bike ride earlier and my vision seems really dim and things are floating by kind of slowly and i feel like im in a dream like state and derealized. im not seeing things that are not there so i dont think i have any schitzoprenia issues but i get freeked out by this unreal feeling i get its hard to explain but you just dont feel like life is real and its hard to beleive your on this planet and it feels like im in a dream like state... but with all the fear and irritibility... theres just something off. maybe the SSRI i took has just worn off? i was on it for 10 years... but than again i tried other ssris and different doses and nothing. i tried seraquel low dose before and that made me feel so detached the next day and same with mirtzapine that gave me derealization to. im sorry for the long post. but something is overactive or out of wack in my brain and if you have ideas or suggestions please it can only help