Grouptose
Member
I'm not sure if I have bipolar or something, but most of my bipolar symptoms came about last year when I was taking SSRIS (for only 2 weeks, I stopped for a long time and haven't taken them anymore for ages, and I seem to be "acting" normal now, but I don't "feel" or "think" normal and this might have been due to the stress during that time of my life that caused this, but I have lots of obsessive and compulsive thoughts that change literally every few hours or every day.
My main obsession and compulsion has to do with food, one day I'll write down a list "FOODS TO STOP EATING, ONLY EAT THESE FOODS" and try out a new way of eating the next day, then I'll think "nah that was a bad idea" and then I'll write something on the notepad like "Stop eating rice" the next day when I eat sweet potatoes and get a stomach ache, I might go back to my notepad and write "sweet potatoes gave you gas switch back to rice"
It's so annoying and painful but I can't stop because it's literally like an addiction sometimes, like I sort of "enjoy" doing it, although it is corrupting my mind there's something about writing down a list of foods I should eat and then a list of foods I shouldn't eat, and sometimes I will change the list in seconds, it'll go from "rice is good" to "stop eating rice its a dumb grain" and my choices keep changing.
The odd part about all this, is that I don't know if this is a symptom of high serotonin or high dopamine, people would say "high serotonin" but then again, I sometimes find doing this stuff "overly fun, motivating and exciting/entertaining sometimes, until I find it boring again and then realize that I spent 5 days writing down about food, then there's the high serotonin symptoms after getting bored of it (Apathy, boredom, confusion, agitation) that kick in. So I don't know what to do here, can someone help me out because this is getting on my nerves
My main obsession and compulsion has to do with food, one day I'll write down a list "FOODS TO STOP EATING, ONLY EAT THESE FOODS" and try out a new way of eating the next day, then I'll think "nah that was a bad idea" and then I'll write something on the notepad like "Stop eating rice" the next day when I eat sweet potatoes and get a stomach ache, I might go back to my notepad and write "sweet potatoes gave you gas switch back to rice"
It's so annoying and painful but I can't stop because it's literally like an addiction sometimes, like I sort of "enjoy" doing it, although it is corrupting my mind there's something about writing down a list of foods I should eat and then a list of foods I shouldn't eat, and sometimes I will change the list in seconds, it'll go from "rice is good" to "stop eating rice its a dumb grain" and my choices keep changing.
The odd part about all this, is that I don't know if this is a symptom of high serotonin or high dopamine, people would say "high serotonin" but then again, I sometimes find doing this stuff "overly fun, motivating and exciting/entertaining sometimes, until I find it boring again and then realize that I spent 5 days writing down about food, then there's the high serotonin symptoms after getting bored of it (Apathy, boredom, confusion, agitation) that kick in. So I don't know what to do here, can someone help me out because this is getting on my nerves