Sorry to hear that man. I’ve had snippets of similar situations, although nowhere near to the levels you have. In those moments I used anger/grandeur/frustration/narcicism to improve myself and get myself of out the situation. It worked, and for that reason I would recommend using it as a tool, I’m just saying that if you don’t abandon those tools soon after, they will go on to damage your life and those around you. Take from that what you will and I genuinely hope you manage to get out of your current circumstance.I am homeless, have no friends, strained family relationships, very challenging job situation and trying to find a reason to be here, rest assured I'm getting everything deserve.