I'm currently in one heck of a hole.
A few years ago I ended up with gastroparesis and nocturnal MGD brought on by the food left in my stomach. When my stomach is full - I can't sleep, and when I can't sleep - my digestion gets worse. I'm stuck in a deadly cycle, and the whole thing has progressed in severity (less tolerant of more and more foods) to the point where I'm consuming a hypocaloric diet of beef protein isolate, pineapple juice, and small amounts of fat with a bevy of peaty supps. Oh... and a year in I started getting auditory hallucinations. I'm in my 20's...
Just after the auditories set in, I graduated with a biochem and my girlfriend and I moved into my parents basement. Since then, my symptoms got much worse in progression. I've rigorously tested how I feel in each room. Surprise, surprise... I feel the worst (the least tired/relaxed) in our bedroom downstairs.
I have an unbelievably supportive girlfriend, and a hostile mother who calls my condition a "tummy ache" and thinks I'm a hypochondriac who has deluded himself into thinking that air quality and EMFs are having a huge impact on my (lack of) recovery.
We have a family cabin, and every time I'm up there I get really tired and my digestion improves immensely. Over a long enough period of time, I begin to feel normal. However, I start to feel very lonely and my addictive tendencies begin to set in. My gf and family can't just stay there with me unfortunately.
So with all that said, my girlfriend and I had our last straw with my toxic mother a few nights ago... as well as the toxic house, and toxic city. We want to move to the country ASAP. I feel as if I'm on my last leg here before there's no going back. I'm averaging 4-5 hr sleep/night no matter what I take/do. I'm so depressed, and hopeless. I used to be glowing and vibrant.
We live in the US midwest, and are half way through a generally short summer. We want to move out in time to get at least a couple months of perfect, lush, greenery. Along with being free of EMF no matter what time of year. No stressful family members, no synthetic carpet and limited upholstery/furniture. No stressful/constant noise pollution everywhere when I'm trying to relax.
tldr - I need to move to the country and need your help.
I'm nervous. Learned helplessness or whatever would definitely describe me right now. How/what kind of work can I find out there? I'm above average with manual labor, although I need to pace myself atm in order to digest food. I also have my BS in Biochem, as worthless as that's been for employment (I couldn't work in an EMF filled, big city lab even if I got hired). My girlfriend has an esthetician license and maybe 3-4 grand. I have a couple hundred in my account and a near maxed card. I've yet to get a diagnosis so don't know how easy it would be for me to get disability. I'm not so sure I want to tell any doctors I basically have schizo. Is it possible to get on disability if I'm not a threat to anyone's safety, and still decide not to take the harmful drugs they'll prescribe me (not get blood tested etc...)?
Any tips for the whole ordeal or words of encouragement? How do we know which towns to avoid or go to? How do we find cheap, rural property up for rent?
Any tips in the meantime? Would setting up a tent in the backyard be smart? How risky would it be to set up a tent in a large park with enough foliage and space so as to be covered from view from any trails? Not to live, just to sleep at least.
Thanks for any help.
A few years ago I ended up with gastroparesis and nocturnal MGD brought on by the food left in my stomach. When my stomach is full - I can't sleep, and when I can't sleep - my digestion gets worse. I'm stuck in a deadly cycle, and the whole thing has progressed in severity (less tolerant of more and more foods) to the point where I'm consuming a hypocaloric diet of beef protein isolate, pineapple juice, and small amounts of fat with a bevy of peaty supps. Oh... and a year in I started getting auditory hallucinations. I'm in my 20's...
Just after the auditories set in, I graduated with a biochem and my girlfriend and I moved into my parents basement. Since then, my symptoms got much worse in progression. I've rigorously tested how I feel in each room. Surprise, surprise... I feel the worst (the least tired/relaxed) in our bedroom downstairs.
I have an unbelievably supportive girlfriend, and a hostile mother who calls my condition a "tummy ache" and thinks I'm a hypochondriac who has deluded himself into thinking that air quality and EMFs are having a huge impact on my (lack of) recovery.
We have a family cabin, and every time I'm up there I get really tired and my digestion improves immensely. Over a long enough period of time, I begin to feel normal. However, I start to feel very lonely and my addictive tendencies begin to set in. My gf and family can't just stay there with me unfortunately.
So with all that said, my girlfriend and I had our last straw with my toxic mother a few nights ago... as well as the toxic house, and toxic city. We want to move to the country ASAP. I feel as if I'm on my last leg here before there's no going back. I'm averaging 4-5 hr sleep/night no matter what I take/do. I'm so depressed, and hopeless. I used to be glowing and vibrant.
We live in the US midwest, and are half way through a generally short summer. We want to move out in time to get at least a couple months of perfect, lush, greenery. Along with being free of EMF no matter what time of year. No stressful family members, no synthetic carpet and limited upholstery/furniture. No stressful/constant noise pollution everywhere when I'm trying to relax.
tldr - I need to move to the country and need your help.
I'm nervous. Learned helplessness or whatever would definitely describe me right now. How/what kind of work can I find out there? I'm above average with manual labor, although I need to pace myself atm in order to digest food. I also have my BS in Biochem, as worthless as that's been for employment (I couldn't work in an EMF filled, big city lab even if I got hired). My girlfriend has an esthetician license and maybe 3-4 grand. I have a couple hundred in my account and a near maxed card. I've yet to get a diagnosis so don't know how easy it would be for me to get disability. I'm not so sure I want to tell any doctors I basically have schizo. Is it possible to get on disability if I'm not a threat to anyone's safety, and still decide not to take the harmful drugs they'll prescribe me (not get blood tested etc...)?
Any tips for the whole ordeal or words of encouragement? How do we know which towns to avoid or go to? How do we find cheap, rural property up for rent?
Any tips in the meantime? Would setting up a tent in the backyard be smart? How risky would it be to set up a tent in a large park with enough foliage and space so as to be covered from view from any trails? Not to live, just to sleep at least.
Thanks for any help.
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