Extremely pale skin - insecure & avoiding life - debating intentional carotenosis

[Callmestar]

I am extremely pale white, it has caused me a great deal of anxiety throughout life, enduring negative comments to the point where I now pretty much avoid life in the daylight, especially in summer months. The weather is now brightening up where I live and it's the usual reminder that while everyone is outside enjoying life, I am avoiding being seen due to such lack of self-worth and insecurity about being pale.

I've tried all sorts of fake tans but unfortunately, none look natural and I don't really want to be known as the guy who wears fake tan. If I was to get any sort of decent colour using fake tan it would be too obvious that it's fake. I used tanning beds throughout my teens and twenties which helped but this has caused premature aging and I don't think it's a good idea to continue. My face is already haggard as it is. I used Melonotan briefly, helped a little, but again it means I need to spend lots of time in the sun which will cause further skin damage / wrinkles. I also have quite a lot of moles and Melanotan makes these darker / increase in size etc so again, it's not a good idea. So currently I'm left glowing like a flash light, bright white, casper the ghost looking human.

I'm wondering if there are any other options and currently the only thing I can think of is taking high dose Beta Carotene to create Carotenisis. I know it's not exactly going to give me a tan but may give me a subtle colour.

Is there any problem with Carotenisis and do I have any other options?

 

[Jennifer]

I used to feel embarrassed by my fair skin too, especially since tanning beds had become all the rage while I was growing up. I debated going to a tanning bed but my grandmother, whose skin at 96 still looks beautiful, convinced me not to. Later in my 20s, a makeup artist told me something that gave me a new appreciation for my porcelain skin. Personally, I’ve dealt with carotenosis while I was a hypothyroid fruitarian and I resembled an Oompa Loompa more than anything. Besides the less than cute look, excess beta carotene can block thyroid function so I’d say if you can’t embrace what you can’t erase (not a judgement, I understand), I’d go to a salon that does custom spray tans. That or...is your vitamin D level in a healthy range? I find that I tan (without burning) quite easily when my vitamin D level is up.

 

[Mauritio]

Things that give me a tan :
High salt
Vitamin D
Reducing serotonin!

Is there any chance you have high serotonin or git issues ? High serotonin people are often pale . When I increase dopamine i tan more easily .
Theres a connection between dopamine and melanin , i think they boost each other .
High salt diet has helped me a lot and coincidentally it also boosts dopamine and reduces serotonin .

 

[Hugh Johnson]

I am extremely pale white, it has caused me a great deal of anxiety throughout life, enduring negative comments to the point where I now pretty much avoid life in the daylight, especially in summer months. The weather is now brightening up where I live and it's the usual reminder that while everyone is outside enjoying life, I am avoiding being seen due to such lack of self-worth and insecurity about being pale.

You are not insecure because you are pale. You would be insecure anyway, that is just the pretext for those feelings.

Deal with the insecurity. Tanning may be an option, and tanning sprays also exist. You can use them, but no matter what, until you deal with the feelings, nothing is going to help.

 

[Callmestar]

You are not insecure because you are pale. You would be insecure anyway, that is just the pretext for those feelings.

Deal with the insecurity. Tanning may be an option, and tanning sprays also exist. You can use them, but no matter what, until you deal with the feelings, nothing is going to help.

This is partly true. There is a general low self esteem issue. But at the same time, if I rarely do have a natural tan, I am completely fine to be seen out knowing I don't look pale.

 

[Callmestar]

My skin tone, is just pale in general. I am fair, very blue eyes. I've been pale all my life so I don't believe it's something that can be changed via some of the supplementation mentioned in this thread thus far.

I have also tried spray tans, again they do not look natural. Especially on a pale male. People would question why the **** I have a spray tan.

 

[Teres]

I have been pale all my life and I still am. This has never been a problem and I don't see why it should've been, except that I should be more cautious when beaching, i.e gradually increasing my time beaching day by day during summer, instead being under the sun all day on day one, which can lead to bad burn.

If you don't have some health condition you have to address, have you thought why being pale particularly should be source of insecurity more than any other skin tone?

 

[redsun]

I think paleness is ideal actually. Especially on women. But you need to own it. Copper and iron will increase melanin and make it easier to tan but the problem is you think you need to be like others. So tan or no tan, you will still be an insecure individual. You should accept yourself at all times, not just when you have a tan. I enjoy being pale unlike you. Highly suggest you change your mindset. Tanning is a craze imo. We need very little amounts of sunlight for vitamin D (especially if you are already pale, you need even less) and we also are supposed to get it from food like eggs/fish etc... Excess sunlight just ages the skin. You will likely age really well.

 

[Ben.]

This is partly true. There is a general low self esteem issue. But at the same time, if I rarely do have a natural tan, I am completely fine to be seen out knowing I don't look pale.

I get it, one feels better about oneself having a good hair day or having more muscle, less body fat etc. but hugh johnson is still right as it is seems to be emotional stuff usually revolving around a self-worth conflict as you said urself. It sounds more like the pale skin is triggering the lack of selfworth. The misconception is that it is the skin issue causing it, rather than some more in depth trauma or stress causing it.

Idealy you are good and fine with yourself wether your skin, face, body w/e looks good or not.

Ofcourse this is easier said than done and i have alot of work to do in this matter too.

Maybe it helps you if you think of it like a panic attack. There is a trigger causing your body to react a certain way beyond your control inducing horrible feelings and thoughts. In this case, something is triggering these negative emotions and selfloathing. To get rid of it one has to retrain the body/brain to not react this way towards the trigger. There are different ways to do this.

One major question would be why is the pale skin triggering this. What do you associate with pale skin? Lets say pale skin is ugly for you or a sign for bad health or w/e. The first thing i would ask myself why do i think that? Did my family/environment teach me that? Was there a moment or scenario, like as a kid, where you've been made fun of the others due to your skin? Did they abandon or bully you because of it?

---

Now this is just an educated guess from my part. Discard it if you think or feel it is not applicable to your situation.

That sun is the cause for premature aging sounds to reductionistic to me. Excesive sun may lead to that but there are many options: to avoid excess from going into the shadow, to wearing cloth or using some topical oil/cream w/e.

Premature aging and moles ... i have that too along an inhibited ability to get brown and i came to the conclusion that it is an overall health thing. Sun may accelerate it but not even 1-2 years ago i could stay in the sun all day long without the sun causing any of this, no moles nor prematuer aging nor burns.

 

[CreakyJoints]

I have been pale all my life and I still am. This has never been a problem and I don't see why it should've been, except that I should be more cautious when beaching, i.e gradually increasing my time beaching day by day during summer, instead being under the sun all day on day one, which can lead to bad burn.

If you don't have some health condition you have to address, have you thought why being pale particularly should be source of insecurity more than any other skin tone?

I agree with this except your last point: why would someone be insecure about someone else's skin tone? You're only ever going to be insecure about your own, surely.

OP, if you are naturally pale, you should probably just not be friends with the people who are making unpleasant comments about it, or accept that some people are just jerks to other people for no reason. If you believe that when healthy, your skin tone is less pale, perhaps there is something problematic in your diet or environment. I think the first one is probably more likely.

Do you smoke, by any chance? A friend of mine became much less pale when they quit. That's the only time I can think of where I've seen an appreciable difference.

I'd also say staying indoors and avoiding the sun is probably a good thing to stop doing if possible.

 

[Teres]

I agree with this except your last point: why would someone be insecure about someone else's skin tone? You're only ever going to be insecure about your own, surely.

My point wasn't that someone should be insecure about someone else's skin tone, but that no skin tone should be a reason to be insecure, let alone one more than another.

People are in various skin tones for a reason and this is the direction of thought I tried to lead the OP to. @Callmestar , what's your skin tone by birth is not a problem to be fixed unless you don't have health issue to address. If one is resistant to such thought then the issue is in one's head. Going to the beach gradually as I wrote is an easy and enjoyable way to darken your skin as you please, just have a pinch of caution. That's it. CreakyJoints is correct - staying at home wont give you tan.

Plus, I think there are countries with a significant percentage of it's population being ginger and as pale as one can be and those people are doing just fine. I don't see why you shouldn't.

 

[CreakyJoints]

My point wasn't that someone should be insecure about someone else's skin tone, but that no skin tone should be a reason to be insecure, let alone one more than another.

People are in various skin tones for a reason and this is the direction of thought I tried to lead the OP to. @Callmestar , what's your skin tone by birth is not a problem to be fixed unless you don't have health issue to address. If one is resistant to such thought then the issue is in one's head. Going to the beach gradually as I wrote is an easy and enjoyable way to darken your skin as you please, just have a pinch of caution. That's it. CreakyJoints is correct - staying at home wont give you tan.

Plus, I think there are countries with a significant percentage of it's population being ginger and as pale as one can be and those people are doing just fine. I don't see why you shouldn't.

Oh I see. Yes, I agree totally with this, great points.

 

[Callmestar]

My point wasn't that someone should be insecure about someone else's skin tone, but that no skin tone should be a reason to be insecure, let alone one more than another.

People are in various skin tones for a reason and this is the direction of thought I tried to lead the OP to. @Callmestar , what's your skin tone by birth is not a problem to be fixed unless you don't have health issue to address. If one is resistant to such thought then the issue is in one's head. Going to the beach gradually as I wrote is an easy and enjoyable way to darken your skin as you please, just have a pinch of caution. That's it. CreakyJoints is correct - staying at home wont give you tan.

Plus, I think there are countries with a significant percentage of it's population being ginger and as pale as one can be and those people are doing just fine. I don't see why you shouldn't.

I live in one of those countries, where the majority are white and by world standards, considered pale. The thing is, even to those pale people, I am freakishly pale.

I get it, one feels better about oneself having a good hair day or having more muscle, less body fat etc. but hugh johnson is still right as it is seems to be emotional stuff usually revolving around a self-worth conflict as you said urself. It sounds more like the pale skin is triggering the lack of selfworth. The misconception is that it is the skin issue causing it, rather than some more in depth trauma or stress causing it.

Idealy you are good and fine with yourself wether your skin, face, body w/e looks good or not.

Ofcourse this is easier said than done and i have alot of work to do in this matter too.

Maybe it helps you if you think of it like a panic attack. There is a trigger causing your body to react a certain way beyond your control inducing horrible feelings and thoughts. In this case, something is triggering these negative emotions and selfloathing. To get rid of it one has to retrain the body/brain to not react this way towards the trigger. There are different ways to do this.

One major question would be why is the pale skin triggering this. What do you associate with pale skin? Lets say pale skin is ugly for you or a sign for bad health or w/e. The first thing i would ask myself why do i think that? Did my family/environment teach me that? Was there a moment or scenario, like as a kid, where you've been made fun of the others due to your skin? Did they abandon or bully you because of it?

---

Now this is just an educated guess from my part. Discard it if you think or feel it is not applicable to your situation.

That sun is the cause for premature aging sounds to reductionistic to me. Excesive sun may lead to that but there are many options: to avoid excess from going into the shadow, to wearing cloth or using some topical oil/cream w/e.

Premature aging and moles ... i have that too along an inhibited ability to get brown and i came to the conclusion that it is an overall health thing. Sun may accelerate it but not even 1-2 years ago i could stay in the sun all day long without the sun causing any of this, no moles nor prematuer aging nor burns.

For sure the pale skin is triggering the lack of self worth. If I completely valued and accepted myself, other people's opinions wouldn't matter. But unfortunately for the majority of us, other people's opinions do have an impact on us.

In regards to why pale skin is triggering this. It's as you say, because to me it is associated with bad health or being less attractive. It is not a sort after characteristic. That's what makes it especially difficult, because even if I thought it was ok, I know that where I live, being pale is seen as a bad thing. If you are tanned people compliment you, if you are pale people look down upon you or comment that you need to get a tan. There have been many occasions through my life where my paleness has been commented on in a negative fashion, which has had an impact. Even if I were to overcome all of the trauma from past negativity, the fact that others see pale as unattractive or undesirable means I'd struggle to ever be happy in my own skin.

On your last point. Of course sun exposure is not the only cause of my premature aging, but it is probably the main factor and further exposure is only going to make it worse. In regards to avoiding excess, staying in the shadow or wearing creams etc, that's all fine but then I would get absolutely no tan/colour from the sun. It takes quite a lot of sun for me to get any sort of tan. Any sun exposure or tanning of the skin is prematurely aging the skin, I don't think that's even debatable at this point.

 

[joshquintanilla]

Go out for 10 minutes a day when the Uv index is low. Tanning beds are actually much worse for your skin since the only contain UV, and none of the protective red and infrared light.

 

[Callmestar]

I think paleness is ideal actually. Especially on women. But you need to own it. Copper and iron will increase melanin and make it easier to tan but the problem is you think you need to be like others. So tan or no tan, you will still be an insecure individual. You should accept yourself at all times, not just when you have a tan. I enjoy being pale unlike you. Highly suggest you change your mindset. Tanning is a craze imo. We need very little amounts of sunlight for vitamin D (especially if you are already pale, you need even less) and we also are supposed to get it from food like eggs/fish etc... Excess sunlight just ages the skin. You will likely age really well.

I envy you for being able to enjoy being pale. I wish and hope I can learn to do the same. I have no idea how I can change my mindset when my paleness is deemed as an undesirable, ugly trait in my experience. Maybe it's seen differently where you live? Or maybe you aren't the type of pale that stands out or attracts comments. I often see people talk about themselves being pale, and i'm there thinking, you are a normal healthy skin tone, that of most other Caucasians. Nowhere near as white as me.

I am male, but a similar skin tone to this young lady. Although I am slightly more pale. I'm not referencing the video in anyway but it was the most suitable one I could find to represent a similar skin tone to my own.

 

[joshquintanilla]

Also the amino acid tyrosine is associated with more melanin production.

 

[redsun]

I envy you for being able to enjoy being pale. I wish and hope I can learn to do the same. I have no idea how I can change my mindset when my paleness is deemed as an undesirable, ugly trait in my experience. Maybe it's seen differently where you live? Or maybe you aren't the type of pale that stands out or attracts comments. I often see people talk about themselves being pale, and i'm there thinking, you are a normal healthy skin tone, that of most other Caucasians. Nowhere near as white as me.

I am male, but a similar skin tone to this young lady. Although I am slightly more pale. I'm not referencing the video in anyway but it was the most suitable one I could find to represent a similar skin tone to my own.

This level of pale may be normal. Again, I think it looks great. But if you are even more pale then this and male there is a reason. Men actually almost always have more color to their skin (redness) and are much less prone to extreme paleness because testosterone is high and stimulates RBC formation and actually helps the process as a whole. Testosterone also indirectly increases iron absorption (again, for more RBC). Men have higher hemoglobin and more RBC than women. It is hemoglobin when it attaches to an oxygen molecule that makes blood red.

So if you have less RBC then normal or hemoglobin is lower than normal, you are going to have less blood cells reaching the skin and the skin will lack red color that makes it look less pale. So if you are insanely pale even as a male that may mean severe lack of iron or another cofactor necessary for healthy red blood cells or just a lack of tyrosinase cofactors (makes melanin). If you symptoms of anemia and/or iron deficiency then that also gives a clue. Did you ever happen to get a CBC done? It may give your skin slightly more redness if it is a problem and you fix it but not much. You still need to learn to accept yourself.

I don't really know what kind of experiences you could have that makes you think paleness is a negative thing. But I assume for one you have dealt with people that give you trouble for it. Know that insecure people will always, always try with all their power to try to make a beautiful quality appear ugly or undesireable.

Or they may just not like you because you are different or unique, and they envy your uniqueness because most people are all the same, inside and out. So if anything you need to learn mock people for even suggesting anything negative about you for being different then them. Make them look ridiculous because honestly they are. Embrace your uniques and own it. No matter if its skin or hair or whatever. That's where your power and confidence lies. You will suffer every day for the rest of your life needlessly until you can own yourself.

 

[Callmestar]

This level of pale may be normal. Again, I think it looks great. But if you are even more pale then this and male there is a reason. Men actually almost always have more color to their skin (redness) and are much less prone to extreme paleness because testosterone is high and stimulates RBC formation and actually helps the process as a whole. Testosterone also indirectly increases iron absorption (again, for more RBC). Men have higher hemoglobin and more RBC than women. It is hemoglobin when it attaches to an oxygen molecule that makes blood red.

So if you have less RBC then normal or hemoglobin is lower than normal, you are going to have less blood cells reaching the skin and the skin will lack red color that makes it look less pale. So if you are insanely pale even as a male that may mean severe lack of iron or another cofactor necessary for healthy red blood cells or just a lack of tyrosinase cofactors (makes melanin). If you symptoms of anemia and/or iron deficiency then that also gives a clue. Did you ever happen to get a CBC done? It may give your skin slightly more redness if it is a problem and you fix it but not much. You still need to learn to accept yourself.

I don't really know what kind of experiences you could have that makes you think paleness is a negative thing. But I assume for one you have dealt with people that give you trouble for it. Know that insecure people will always, always try with all their power to try to make a beautiful quality appear ugly or undesireable.

Or they may just not like you because you are different or unique, and they envy your uniqueness because most people are all the same, inside and out. So if anything you need to learn mock people for even suggesting anything negative about you for being different then them. Make them look ridiculous because honestly they are. Embrace your uniques and own it. No matter if its skin or hair or whatever. That's where your power and confidence lies. You will suffer every day for the rest of your life needlessly until you can own yourself.

My bloods are in normal ranges and I've been this colour my whole life so I don't think it's a blood/health issue.

I really do hope I can accept myself. I have no idea how at this point. I could be feeling as though i'm doing a bit better for a while, then bang, one negative comment about my skin tone and it destroys me.

 

[redsun]

My bloods are in normal ranges and I've been this colour my whole life so I don't think it's a blood/health issue.

I really do hope I can accept myself. I have no idea how at this point. I could be feeling as though i'm doing a bit better for a while, then bang, one negative comment about my skin tone and it destroys me.

One thing I wanted to mention is if you lose a tan and can barely keep one for long that means your skin regenerates and repairs itself very well. Which is a very good thing.

You only truly accepted yourself when negative comments don't affect you. If you get wrecked by just one then you haven't and you are allowing culture and random people to dictate how happier you are allowed to be. You should never allow other people to have power over your mood and self-confidence. If it wasn't the skin it would be something else. You, like many many people, are obsessed over with your deficiencies, whether they are real or imaginary.

You need to understand only being okay between the time gaps in skin insults means you were never okay. You need to understand that you will probably always get comments from time to time about it but its up to you on how you will internally react.

And you can only do that when you accept yourself, and then make that quality you have been trying to accept for so long your strength not your weakness so it adds depth to your character and personality, and it can no longer be used as ammo against you.

The need to be tan is just the current culture where you are. Before in many cultures, and I think now still in some places paleness is the beauty standard or at least tans are not considered desirable.

 

[CreakyJoints]

My bloods are in normal ranges and I've been this colour my whole life so I don't think it's a blood/health issue.

I really do hope I can accept myself. I have no idea how at this point. I could be feeling as though i'm doing a bit better for a while, then bang, one negative comment about my skin tone and it destroys me.

Perhaps you need thicker skin, not darker skin. (!)