A Rant: Do You Ever Just Feel Like A Faulty Model And The Odds Are Stacked Against You?

[milkboi]

I understand why you're curious about that; reading it back I thought it was strange that I felt the need to write that. I think it's because I often go out of my way to be a positive and helpful person even when my health makes me feel like retreating or lashing out at people. I understand there's a need to look after yourself first and foremost, but also there's a lot of unkindness in the world, and the least I can do, even if I'm in ***t health, is make a positive atmosphere for others. Don't get me wrong, I'm not some Disney character going around whistling and doing good deeds for strangers. But I try to be consistent and considerate. Maybe it comes from a fear that if I'm in poor health and an ***hole then...I've got nothing...?

If fear is the root of it, only you will/could know.

But Peat said, when cellular energy goes down, one of the first things to go is empathy. So I‘d argue it‘s a good thing you still care (not worry, that’s another thing) about how you make others feel.

 

[sun-maid]

An unaltered microbiome usually makes for a properly functioning neurotransmetter system.

If your test is high there is probably no benefit in trying supraphysiological levels

Is there a way to repair the gut after lot of antibiotics at a young age (it was mainly minocycline tho) ?

 

[GreekDemiGod]

So by that logic the entire world is summoning a viral outbreak that is limiting basic freedoms? Come on

"
You need to realize that only knowledge and understanding matters here. The Law doesn't care of your problems or your depression or your needs, it really doesn't give a ****. It gives you what you generate. So your tears, depression, supplications, 'sending unconditional love' won't help you. If you keep that victim states of mind you will manifest what is compatible with those states of mind.
"

 

[rei]

It sounds like you have many chronic postural problems as results from all the injuries and chronic stress, resulting in fascial tension, and this can explain everything you have written. In other threads i have argued this even being the cause of balding. When injuries don't heal but you continue stressing the body (for instance sports, especially bodybuilding) the injury gets integrated into your normal function, it is sealed in. When these add up layer upon layer all kinds of tension is pulling the spine in every kind of direction and ultimately it starts affecting the organs as they are bound to the spine by fascia. According to mammalian stress theory mechanical stress is the second half (50%) of the stress signalling mechanism. This means as tension on a specific organ builds up too much the result is dysfunction as the metabolic energy goes to excessive repair rather than primary function.

I recommend you watch the mammalian stress mechanism lecture series You Tube Slide Shows and look into traditional yoga teachings on the aspect how chronic built up tension in the spine is mirroring every musculoskeletal injury anywhere on your body. Sadhguru jokes that if you cannot easily achieve all joga poses then rigor mortis seems to be setting in.

 

[Jem Oz]

No. Bad posture does not explain everything he has written. Not by a long shot. In fact there's every chance it accounts for none of it.

Frankly, you know what eclipses bad posture on the stress and degeneration front? Believing that there's one key cause at the root of everything. It's a poison.

 

[rei]

I know what i have experienced, and these hints i tell you are what i have found to come closest to explaining it.

It has been a 14 month process of total physical transformation simply from re-mobilizing my spine. If i detailed half of it here you would believe none of what i have written, it's simply unexplainable from a scientific perspective at our current level of understanding.

 

[Jennifer]

Feel like I'm trying everything and my body just feels like it's resisting at every turn. Still skinny fat now matter how much I work out, still bald, digestion so sensitive, still anxious, still an overthinker.

You forgot one. Still lovable. :)

I used to feel like a faulty model too and can understand trying everything and feeling like my body was resisting at every turn. In my case, I was the one causing the resistance, not my body. In my desperation to overcome the pain I was in and to get my life back, a life I thought I wanted, I was putting most of my faith in others and not myself, doing what I thought I needed to do to heal, not what was true to me or what I wanted for my life. It wasn't my life I was living. It wasn't my recovery and it needed to be my recovery because with it came the opportunity for the growth of a lifetime. Everything I've been through has shown me what I'm made of and it most certainly isn't faulty and I believe the same about you and everyone else, though, I understand that our struggless can wear on us and make it hard to see sometimes.

As cheesy as it may sound, for me, real healing has occurred in that space of genuine self-acceptance and love and this took, and still does, some major letting go and practice. The heavy, resistant energy of frustration and a cruel internal dialogue that was undermining my best efforts to heal, made way for a lightness and ease similar to what children feel before they ever get the notion that there's something wrong with them and start contorting themselves to fit in with society, slowly losing themselves in the process. There's a peace and freedom in it that isn't dependent on things outside myself and it took giving myself permission to let go and finally stop trying or giving a "ahem" to get to this state, back to the real me, and something tells me that my body can't help but adapt to and reflect this state as it did the other one.

 

[hei]

Sorry to hear that. Sounds like you're having a tough time. At least you've identified some things that have negative effects on your health? In fact, the positive impact this diet has had on my health has come from what I'm avoiding, not what I'm taking in more of. I think this is the oft forgotten side of the equation. Hope you find some answers.

Thanks, sorry for going on like that. All I really meant to get at is just that your title is exactly how I feel. I'm not stricken with any serious diseases like a lot of people are. It's not like the game wouldn't even start but more like I'm stuck living the trial version of life.

 

[Spokey]

Not so much. I feel more like a standard model that had a bad previous owner.

 

[Spokey]

Still skinny fat now matter how much I work out

This makes me think you should give yourself a holiday, for say a year, to get your well being back and get rid of the expectations of how you should be focus on how you feel right now.

At most the only workouts you should be doing are short load bearing but you want to get the stress and anxiety under control. In the stressed state high levels of working out will not be serving you.

 

[LUH 3417]

"
You need to realize that only knowledge and understanding matters here. The Law doesn't care of your problems or your depression or your needs, it really doesn't give a ****. It gives you what you generate. So your tears, depression, supplications, 'sending unconditional love' won't help you. If you keep that victim states of mind you will manifest what is compatible with those states of mind.
"

I believe there is a thin line between will, determination, and what effect we have on reality vs things out of our control. I do think a victim state of mind is very dangerous and tends to play out like a self fulfilling prophesy. Not disagreeing with you on that. What I have a problem with is this sort of subscription to the idea that everything we experience is what we have generated, we are fully responsible for everything. If a newborn is born without a cerebellum, did the mom generate such an event? The the infants embryonic consciousness will it? Where do we draw the line on the human mind being able to create the biological reality?

 

[Jem Oz]

Finding a kick **** therapist who doesn't pre-judge or pretend to have all the answers or want to turn you into a bloody PROJECT, can make a massive difference. Someone who, for once or twice a week, will simply offer you one big, rolling, all-embracing 'YES' to whatever it is you're thinking or feeling. The 'yes' that none of us got enough of when we were little, and when it was all we needed and deserved.

 

[cyclops]

I think a good combination is to: Feel whatever feelings come up (positive or negative) + positive thinking only when you do think.

So don't resist any feelings that show up, I believe they simply want to be felt, but at the same time dont fuel further negative feelings with negative thoughts. Make the effort to keep your mind bright and positive no matter your circumstances, but if a negative feeling shows up, dont dread it or run away from it, simply feel it. I think over time the negative feelings will show up less and less and will be replaced by positive feelings from keeping your mind positive.

 

[CDT]

Dude, do you have a wife or female partner?

 

[Obromilead]

Do I ever feel like a faulty model and the odds are stacked against me? Yes , yes , and looking back the odds were definitely stacked against me, too long here to count the ways but starting with 11 weeks premature in 1965, in some ways they still are. Here's the thing, that's the doorway, that's the work, to go through it deeply to be a limited and sometimes limitless human. We are here to idiosyncratically evolve, no map, no guaranteed way, sometimes alone, sometimes with companions who recognise your gifts. 'Resistance' is an interesting word to play with regarding your body. I recall a 5 rythmns dance where I experimented with resistance using a wall and the floor to build up resistance and then play with the volume...it was interesting to say the least. I reflected later that my default response to myself was often resistance when anything about myself wasn't fitting some norm or