Record High Number Of People Are Not Having Sex, The Young Lead The Pack

[InChristAlone]

Shame raises serotonin, so it tends to be counterproductive.

I would focus more on the positive appeal of the alternatives.

English doesn't have a word for healthy shame which is discretion before an action, all we have is the negative connotation which is disgrace after an action. Most other languages have different words for this. Here are some quotes from a book I just read called "Healing the shame that binds you"

"Healthy shame is important, it's necessary to be truly human. It gives us permission to be human, tells us our limits, keeps us in our human boundaries, letting us know we can and will make mistakes and that we need help. Our shame tells us we are not God."

"Shame is an affect auxillary, which is like a natural boundary governing excitement and pleasure."

"Toxic shame destroys human life"

"Toxic shame is unbearable and always necessitates a cover up, a false self. Since one feels his true self is defective and flawed one needs a false self that is not defective and flawed. Once one becomes a false self, one ceases to exist psychologically. "

"Shame based sources such as religion and culture turn healthy shame into an all embracing identity. A person with internalized shame believes he is inherently flawed, inferior and defective. Such a feeling is so painful that defending strategies are developed to cover it up. That is the root of violence, criminality, war and all forms of addiction."

"We need our sense of shame as a boundary for our sexual desires."

"Healthy shame forms, directs and fulfills the human sex drive. While toxic shame is the source of depersonalized sexual addiction, healthy shame is the source of truly awesome and reverent intimate sexuality. "

"Sexuality is a prime area of vulnerability and exposure- a sense of shame safeguards the individual from the public observance of private experience. Pornography is precisely the public exposure of sexual matters that belong to the private sphere."

"The reduction of sexuality to temporary pleasure or adult play is due to the general dismissal of shame as the artificial inhibition imposed by a misdirected socialization."

"When depersonalized, the other is no longer a unique, unrepeatable subject, an "I", but is an object to be used and enjoyed. Pornography is an attempt to stimulate sexual feelings and a sexual relationship without the presence of a chosen loved one, i.e., another human being."

"When sex is disengaged from awe, reverence and mystery (healthy shame), it becomes a sickness of soul and falls into the hog pen of spiritual bankruptcy."

 

[eat my peat]

so porn is bad, agreed. but is masterbating using your imagination bad?

 

[InChristAlone]

so porn is bad, agreed. but is masterbating using your imagination bad?

It's neither. But masturbation can become sex addiction and not living in your power, not finding a partner that you can have fulfilling sacred sex with.

 

[Regina]

Everything. Physically because the intensity of the high can cause big drops in performance. Mentally because it becomes addictive and one starts to become perverted and have intrusive thoughts about people they see. And biggest thing of all is that its a false reality when we fantasize about sex instead of using that power for either real intimacy or getting stuff done in our life.



Actually it was more about having a healthy level of shame surrounding it. Shame is what stops us from going too far and keeps our reverence for life intact. Toxic shame creates a false self and addiction. Feeling our shame is the only way through.

Your thinking all sounds very healthy.

 

[InChristAlone]

Your thinking all sounds very healthy.

Thank-you Regina!

 

[Ben.]

"Toxic shame is unbearable and always necessitates a cover up, a false self. Since one feels his true self is defective and flawed one needs a false self that is not defective and flawed. Once one becomes a false self, one ceases to exist psychologically. "

"Shame based sources such as religion and culture turn healthy shame into an all embracing identity. A person with internalized shame believes he is inherently flawed, inferior and defective. Such a feeling is so painful that defending strategies are developed to cover it up. That is the root of violence, criminality, war and all forms of addiction."

Wow. Theese two in particular realy resonate, thanks for sharing thoose.

 

[InChristAlone]

Wow. Theese two in particular realy resonate, thanks for sharing thoose.

You're very welcome, the book has been life changing for me.

 

[Jonnie]

Wow. Theese two in particular realy resonate, thanks for sharing thoose.

That first one is kind of an eye opener for me, clarifies things. Thank you.

 

[BestSinceDAYONE]

An obvious factor is porn use. People won't actively pursue meaningful relationships (or even just short term relationships) when constantly sexually satisfied and emotionally numb.

I guarantee you it's more a symptom than the actual cause. If guys were offered sex from any of the girls they jerk off to, they would take it.

Also, dating options for chicks have increased like 10-fold. It's so easy for her to hit up 10,000 guys

 

[eat my peat]

Yea definitely see the level has been raised for dudes to be on top of their game . But that should always be the case if you want to score your dream girl.

Think jerking off does create a distraction to what will be far more rewarding: having a loving partner

 

[BestSinceDAYONE]

Yea definitely see the level has been raised for dudes to be on top of their game . But that should always be the case if you want to score your dream girl.

Think jerking off does create a distraction to what will be far more rewarding: having a loving partner

u inpsire me to make an account called "eat my peatis"

 

[eat my peat]

u inpsire me to make an account called "eat my peatis"

damn. I should have thought of that haha - golden.

 

[BestSinceDAYONE]

u inpsire me to make an account called "eat my peatis"

Yea definitely see the level has been raised for dudes to be on top of their game . But that should always be the case if you want to score your dream girl.

Think jerking off does create a distraction to what will be far more rewarding: having a loving partner

based and white-pilled

 

[Jonnie]

I guarantee you it's more a symptom than the actual cause. If guys were offered sex from any of the girls they jerk off to, they would take it.

Also, dating options for chicks have increased like 10-fold. It's so easy for her to hit up 10,000 guys

Yep. These are the statistics.

 

[Dr. B]

I guarantee you it's more a symptom than the actual cause. If guys were offered sex from any of the girls they jerk off to, they would take it.

Also, dating options for chicks have increased like 10-fold. It's so easy for her to hit up 10,000 guys

it makes sense, people are less motivated on both sides to pursue relationships,

that goes both ways. guys also have the ability to contact a ton of girls via the internet. it probably causes issues on both sides, like both guys and girls have easy ways to get out of relationships if needed. on both sides, the better looking person probably has more options

Yep. These are the statistics.

did you previously have Jeff from curb your enthusiasm as your profile pic?

Yea definitely see the level has been raised for dudes to be on top of their game . But that should always be the case if you want to score your dream girl.

Think jerking off does create a distraction to what will be far more rewarding: having a loving partner

its both sides mate, the competition is crazy for females, plastic surgeries etc becoming increasingly popular, ive seen so many girls with facial surgeries, cuz its become more accessible, and social media is leading people to compare themselves

there is also the divorce laws thing, people with money then have less willingness to marry unless its someone with similar wealth or greater , so many people will simply casually date and continue that until they get older and figure they need to settle down soon

 

[Jonnie]

did you previously have Jeff from curb your enthusiasm as your profile pic?

No bro, that’s another Jon.
Jon2821 or something.

Gotta change my name Lol

 

[Dr. B]

No bro, that’s another Jon.
Jon2821 or something.

Gotta change my name Lol

whos in yours currently, is that a fitness youtuber

 

[BestSinceDAYONE]

it makes sense, people are less motivated on both sides to pursue relationships,

that goes both ways. guys also have the ability to contact a ton of girls via the internet. it probably causes issues on both sides, like both guys and girls have easy ways to get out of relationships if needed. on both sides, the better looking person probably has more options

no way in hell is it easier for guys...does not go both ways, about a third of guys in their 20s are getting no action whatsoever. just because they have access to more women doesn't mean that women are going to go out with them since they are WAY more picky than guys

 

[Dr. B]

no way in hell is it easier for guys...does not go both ways, about a third of guys in their 20s are getting no action whatsoever. just because they have access to more women doesn't mean that women are going to go out with them since they are WAY more picky than guys

it is absolutely easier, if you can get on a dating app like tinder and meet women everywhere, even across the whole world if you have the premium version, you have more options than being around before the internet where you're limited to only people you see in person
I dont know where that third of guys number comes from, but even that doesnt change the fact there is more access, there is also a trend of people having less sex and guys/girls not being in relationships, thats related to the modern health problems, but aside from that, everyone has more options available thanks to the internet.

 

[Jonnie]

it is absolutely easier, if you can get on a dating app like tinder and meet women everywhere, even across the whole world if you have the premium version, you have more options than being around before the internet where you're limited to only people you see in person
I dont know where that third of guys number comes from, but even that doesnt change the fact there is more access, there is also a trend of people having less sex and guys/girls not being in relationships, thats related to the modern health problems, but aside from that, everyone has more options available thanks to the internet.

Apparently it is only easier if you belong to the top 5% of men in looks.
This is what the data basically tells us.

imo it used to be easier for men as there were more irl interactions and girls didn't have the option to go on dating apps and get a 1000 simps to match them in 3 days...

Only to pick Chad that dumps her after a week so she can then cry about why she's so lonely.

Jokes aside the statistics from the dating apps do show it's become easier for women and harder for men.