DaveFoster
Member
I don't think I mentioned the time I stayed up for 48 hours, took phenibut, slept for 16 hours and met God.
I wish I remembered what he said!
Nevermind! I found it. This is from several years ago in high school, and it's riddled with typos:
Stardate: Sometime in 2013
Location: The depths of my mind.
Preface
Let me preface my experience my by stating the conditions wherein I received my revelation. Firstly, I had consumed multiple cognitive enhancers including noopept, aniracetam, and Alpha GPC, which is a form of choline for the brain. I also consumed around 450 mg of Adrafinil in two doses, one with 300mg at around 10:00 PM on the previous day, and another 150mg dose at around 4:00 AM the following morning. Adrafinil is a eugeroic and wakefulness enhancer with properties similar to that of an amphetamine like Adderall, but far more mild and less toxic. Adrafinil is metabolized by the liver, which can cause problems in those with liver complications, and turned into Modafinil, which as a half-life of around 8 hours and is active in the brain.
Waking up at around 7:00 AM, I stayed up until the following morning, and I finally went to sleep at around 5:00 PM the next day, which equals a total time awake of around 34 consecutive hours. Before going to sleep, I consumed 500mg of Magnesium Citrate, around 100 mg of L-Theanine, which is a relaxant, and around 250 mg of Phenibut, which is a metabolizable form of GABA, which helps aid in very deep andresotrative sleep. All of these compounds compounded in their effects, allowing me to undergo an extremely deep phase of sleep. Additionally, I was recovering from some hormonal disruption due to the consumption of D-Aspartic Acid, which had raised my prolactin levels above baseline, resulting in emotional sensitivity.
My Experience with the Creator
After falling asleep, I was taken into a sort of space that resembled something extremely vivid and real, but still in the dream state. At one point, I recall imagining that I was standing, and then falling backwards slowly, hitting my entire body against the wall and falling back down to sleep, which scared me to the extent where I had to wake up and make sure this wasn’t the case. The lucidity of the dreams were far more than usual, but in a different way than a typical lucid dream. Rather than a physical sensation of experience, as is the case with lucid dreams, I felt a form of emotional hypersensitivity and involvement within the dream, which was simultaneously pleasant and terrifying due to the dream’s content.
After entering into the dream state, I began to mull over the meaning of my existence, as I exposed myself to the Creator of the universe, who did not present Himself to me in any hierarchical sense of overarching superiority, but in the same manner as I think of myself. There was no sense of foreignness or superiority, but there was a sense of emotional power and bravado when I came into the presence of this Being, similar to the feeling of having an mental epiphany. I began asking myself who I was, with regards to my identity. I came to the conclusion that I am not a reflection of my body, emotions, personality, or any other construct in the material plane, as this does not reflect the existence of my consciousness. What followed was a realization of my identity in its purest, unadulterated sense, which was accompanied with a sense of extreme, unexplainable euphoria and a sense of interconnectivity. During this stage of euphoria, I realized the purpose of all life and existence, which is one in the same. This purpose is to experience all possible combinations of emotional, mental, and physical states, on an infinite spectrum of continuity without rest and with neverending expansion in complexity.
Basically, the purpose of life is to separate itself from itself, much in the same way as a dividing cell, so as to diversify it’s own experience. Diversification, complexity, novelty, and infinite combination all are referencing the purpose of existence. This justifies the existence of evil and pain, as these are mere extensions of the principle of diversification of experience. Further, I experienced a deep sense of fear and anxiety when I came to this realization, as it justifies the existence of hell and horror, at which point I awoke. Following such, I reflected on the matter, and came to the conclusion that such experiences must occur, and that they will occur and be conquered in due time, as the fear is only a natural response to the unknown.
Most importantly, upon awaking, I recognized the distinction between the logical mind and the base, primitive dream mind. My sense of ego, identity, desire, and impulse began to come back as my logical mind re-engaged itself. I then came to the realization that to search for the meaning of life is futile, as humans employ the technology of the human brain, which has an inclination towards that which will benefit life and itself, rather than that which will reveal objectivity, in its purest sense. We are built for survival, not truth, and even if we believe our mind to be truly logical and accurate, it is not and has an ingrained propensity towards bias. Specifically, this bias manifests as one that upholds life over death, positivity over negativity, happiness over sadness, existence over the non-existence. All of this is simply the fate of our evolution, and it must be this way for us to exist in our current state as primitive beings.
Lastly, employing the logical, wakeful mind, I came to realization of the purpose of humanity, or rather beings on their respective levels of individuality. This purpose is simply to exist according to the biological and environmental inclinations presented to them. This is not to say that all individuals should weigh their old, reptilian brain, rather than their newly developed prefrontal cortex. In contrast, this is not to say that all individuals should weight their newly developed prefrontal cortex over their base instincts and impulses. Rather, we should simply exist in a state of constant acceptance to change, both accepting the past and the future. In practical application, simply accept how you are and pursue your desires, as they will bring you true happiness. As humans, we have a cultural habit of trying to define happiness before we reach it, but this is an enigma that doesn’t exist. Humans have evolved the state of boredom, and therefore we will never be happy with what we have, and that’s perfectly fine. [Here's a projection of mine, being bored in school.] We have a cultural obsession with abstraction, perfection, totality, absoluteness, wholeness, artificial simplicity, and efficiency. [Again, more projection, but also an reflection of my experience in public schools.] To achieve the purpose of the human, simply live in accordance with your desires and your need for constant variety and change. Stop when you need to stop, walk when you need to walk, and run when you need to run. Do not eliminate any of these based on an external source, but rather alternate based on your own internal needs.
Cliffs and Summary
Meaning of life in general: To experience maximal variety, novelty, and diversity. To experience all experience.
Meaning of individual life: To direct consciousness in accordance with the factors that influence physical existence. To live in accordance with the body and environment. To honor the biological and psychological needs, whatever they may be. To reject external influence, if it does not resonate with the desires of the individual. To be true to one's self, as it represents the totality of your body and mind. The consciousness does not play a role involving specificity or properties, but rather is the driver of the vehicle.
A way not to be happy and accepting: Try to accomplish the first goal [the meaning of life] at the expense of the second [the meaning of individual life]. This is what religious individuals attempt to do, and they are not happy, and that is fine. Do not reject the internal at the expense of the external, as the latter is non-existing without the former. As above, so below.
I wish I remembered what he said!
Nevermind! I found it. This is from several years ago in high school, and it's riddled with typos:
Stardate: Sometime in 2013
Location: The depths of my mind.
Preface
Let me preface my experience my by stating the conditions wherein I received my revelation. Firstly, I had consumed multiple cognitive enhancers including noopept, aniracetam, and Alpha GPC, which is a form of choline for the brain. I also consumed around 450 mg of Adrafinil in two doses, one with 300mg at around 10:00 PM on the previous day, and another 150mg dose at around 4:00 AM the following morning. Adrafinil is a eugeroic and wakefulness enhancer with properties similar to that of an amphetamine like Adderall, but far more mild and less toxic. Adrafinil is metabolized by the liver, which can cause problems in those with liver complications, and turned into Modafinil, which as a half-life of around 8 hours and is active in the brain.
Waking up at around 7:00 AM, I stayed up until the following morning, and I finally went to sleep at around 5:00 PM the next day, which equals a total time awake of around 34 consecutive hours. Before going to sleep, I consumed 500mg of Magnesium Citrate, around 100 mg of L-Theanine, which is a relaxant, and around 250 mg of Phenibut, which is a metabolizable form of GABA, which helps aid in very deep andresotrative sleep. All of these compounds compounded in their effects, allowing me to undergo an extremely deep phase of sleep. Additionally, I was recovering from some hormonal disruption due to the consumption of D-Aspartic Acid, which had raised my prolactin levels above baseline, resulting in emotional sensitivity.
My Experience with the Creator
After falling asleep, I was taken into a sort of space that resembled something extremely vivid and real, but still in the dream state. At one point, I recall imagining that I was standing, and then falling backwards slowly, hitting my entire body against the wall and falling back down to sleep, which scared me to the extent where I had to wake up and make sure this wasn’t the case. The lucidity of the dreams were far more than usual, but in a different way than a typical lucid dream. Rather than a physical sensation of experience, as is the case with lucid dreams, I felt a form of emotional hypersensitivity and involvement within the dream, which was simultaneously pleasant and terrifying due to the dream’s content.
After entering into the dream state, I began to mull over the meaning of my existence, as I exposed myself to the Creator of the universe, who did not present Himself to me in any hierarchical sense of overarching superiority, but in the same manner as I think of myself. There was no sense of foreignness or superiority, but there was a sense of emotional power and bravado when I came into the presence of this Being, similar to the feeling of having an mental epiphany. I began asking myself who I was, with regards to my identity. I came to the conclusion that I am not a reflection of my body, emotions, personality, or any other construct in the material plane, as this does not reflect the existence of my consciousness. What followed was a realization of my identity in its purest, unadulterated sense, which was accompanied with a sense of extreme, unexplainable euphoria and a sense of interconnectivity. During this stage of euphoria, I realized the purpose of all life and existence, which is one in the same. This purpose is to experience all possible combinations of emotional, mental, and physical states, on an infinite spectrum of continuity without rest and with neverending expansion in complexity.
Basically, the purpose of life is to separate itself from itself, much in the same way as a dividing cell, so as to diversify it’s own experience. Diversification, complexity, novelty, and infinite combination all are referencing the purpose of existence. This justifies the existence of evil and pain, as these are mere extensions of the principle of diversification of experience. Further, I experienced a deep sense of fear and anxiety when I came to this realization, as it justifies the existence of hell and horror, at which point I awoke. Following such, I reflected on the matter, and came to the conclusion that such experiences must occur, and that they will occur and be conquered in due time, as the fear is only a natural response to the unknown.
Most importantly, upon awaking, I recognized the distinction between the logical mind and the base, primitive dream mind. My sense of ego, identity, desire, and impulse began to come back as my logical mind re-engaged itself. I then came to the realization that to search for the meaning of life is futile, as humans employ the technology of the human brain, which has an inclination towards that which will benefit life and itself, rather than that which will reveal objectivity, in its purest sense. We are built for survival, not truth, and even if we believe our mind to be truly logical and accurate, it is not and has an ingrained propensity towards bias. Specifically, this bias manifests as one that upholds life over death, positivity over negativity, happiness over sadness, existence over the non-existence. All of this is simply the fate of our evolution, and it must be this way for us to exist in our current state as primitive beings.
Lastly, employing the logical, wakeful mind, I came to realization of the purpose of humanity, or rather beings on their respective levels of individuality. This purpose is simply to exist according to the biological and environmental inclinations presented to them. This is not to say that all individuals should weigh their old, reptilian brain, rather than their newly developed prefrontal cortex. In contrast, this is not to say that all individuals should weight their newly developed prefrontal cortex over their base instincts and impulses. Rather, we should simply exist in a state of constant acceptance to change, both accepting the past and the future. In practical application, simply accept how you are and pursue your desires, as they will bring you true happiness. As humans, we have a cultural habit of trying to define happiness before we reach it, but this is an enigma that doesn’t exist. Humans have evolved the state of boredom, and therefore we will never be happy with what we have, and that’s perfectly fine. [Here's a projection of mine, being bored in school.] We have a cultural obsession with abstraction, perfection, totality, absoluteness, wholeness, artificial simplicity, and efficiency. [Again, more projection, but also an reflection of my experience in public schools.] To achieve the purpose of the human, simply live in accordance with your desires and your need for constant variety and change. Stop when you need to stop, walk when you need to walk, and run when you need to run. Do not eliminate any of these based on an external source, but rather alternate based on your own internal needs.
Cliffs and Summary
Meaning of life in general: To experience maximal variety, novelty, and diversity. To experience all experience.
Meaning of individual life: To direct consciousness in accordance with the factors that influence physical existence. To live in accordance with the body and environment. To honor the biological and psychological needs, whatever they may be. To reject external influence, if it does not resonate with the desires of the individual. To be true to one's self, as it represents the totality of your body and mind. The consciousness does not play a role involving specificity or properties, but rather is the driver of the vehicle.
A way not to be happy and accepting: Try to accomplish the first goal [the meaning of life] at the expense of the second [the meaning of individual life]. This is what religious individuals attempt to do, and they are not happy, and that is fine. Do not reject the internal at the expense of the external, as the latter is non-existing without the former. As above, so below.
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