Love is just a word…

[unsubscribed]

Hey all,

Why can’t I feel love? I have a wife, I remember feeling love daily. I have a newborn daughter I feel detached from.
Everything in my life is as great as it can be, I just can’t feel anything.
I ride my Harley into the hills on a beautiful day, I’m creative, I write/play music alone and with a band.
I remember the feeling, and that’s just it… a distant memory…
What could potentially be some issues that could cause this type of thing?

thank you all :)

Kurt

 

[Uselis]

Technical term for it would be anhedonia perhaps? I remember searching forum history with such tag and some specific advice been written on lifestyle manipulations.

I personally think love is unconditional (no male female based or parent child) as lame as it sounds. I've been lucky to experience what I think was unconditional love but it was always short lived and felt like I am using all my bodily resources to maintain such state lol. I guess these "higher" states really do coorelate with strong metabolic rate.

Thing that I discovered works regardless of my health status is attitude. Game changer for me. I used to be really heavily into meditation and for 6 years I missed simple message that my teacher tried to drill into me on daily basis lol. "Joy is decision" ☺. Or as he used to say "It's fine, really". Personally if I zoom into this and start actively create such outlook I always end up with natural smile. Some say it's possible to change your hormonal state at least temporarily with mere outlook.

Man I wish it wouldn't sound like cheap pop psichology stuff but attitude was/is game changer for me even if my "machinery" malfunctions a bit.

 

[unsubscribed]

Thanks Uselis :)

I’m a pretty laid back kinda guy. I’ve had some amazing and unique experiences throughout my life, you could call them ‘highs’. But, I’ve always been aware of the ‘lows’ too.
And by lows, I simply mean, I feel the suffering of my fellow people. But, I cannot feel the highs.
I’ve always had a different view on society and it’s structures from a young age.
I’ve been exploring or yearning for something to make sense as to life on earth.
I feel like a visitor.
I’ve been ‘home’ during a profound DMT experience that taught me some huge lessons. For example, it’s all going to be ok.
I don’t fear death, I do however fear dying.
To be honest, that DMT experience was probably the last time I truly felt something.. like to my core. Pure joy.. eternal kind of joy. And not in a personal way but universal, endless.
I’ve gone so high, this all seems a little dull.
I can say the words “ I love you “, I can say the words “ my daughter “, “my wife”, “my family” etc but I’m missing the feeling. It’s cold. There are times I feel very alone but not in the conventional sense.
Like I don’t belong here. I can connect with others during dark times. When they let me in.
I’m just wondering why I can’t feel the good but am very familiar and at home with the suffering…

 

[mariantos]

Hey all,

Why can’t I feel love? I have a wife, I remember feeling love daily. I have a newborn daughter I feel detached from.
Everything in my life is as great as it can be, I just can’t feel anything.
I ride my Harley into the hills on a beautiful day, I’m creative, I write/play music alone and with a band.
I remember the feeling, and that’s just it… a distant memory…
What could potentially be some issues that could cause this type of thing?

thank you all :)

Kurt

This love you are talking about sounds like a short-term partnership, from which material or emotional gain in your case is sought fast (the dose of adoration). If this bothers you because you can't show it to your wife, be careful not to talk about altruism that inflates your vanity.

Are you sure that the lack of affection you started to show does not correspond to your wife's behavior? That love from the beginning can diminish until its disappearance or it can be maintained, nourished and thus it grows exponentially and takes on another form. Regardless of the situation, it cannot remain the same, identical.

Do you feel that the love that your wife offered you is now more towards the child? Don't be afraid, it's normal and it's just as normal for you to act the same way, unless your self-love is too great. This does not mean that the love between you is consumed, it is only transformed.

It is normal to think about the lack of affection, but something that triggered this must have intervened, after your writing it seems that you are a person worried about your wife. I ask you, are you really worried about her or are you worried about yourself?!

Are there things in your life that are more important than your family, do you feel that your wife is no longer what she used to be? If there are no such things to prevail in your life and your wife is the same as in the beginning, then do not worry, be patient.

I know that in a relationship you sometimes need moments that you want to spend alone, but make sure that these moments do not become periods and instead of spending them alone, you end up spending time with friends or other people and so with your family to spend less and less time. If you feel that your wife is contributing in any way to the current situation, then talk to her. Communicate with her, that's why you live together. If you feel that your wife loves you sincerely and cleanly, I advise you not to mimic love with her.
Take your daughter out for various activities, be spontaneous, if your wife loves her daughter and you will be careful with your child, you will inevitably get closer. The rope woven in three never breaks!

None of us will ever be able to give you the perfect advice on this situation, because we do not know what is going on in your souls, just as you do not know what your wife thinks and vice versa. Ask yourself what has changed in the relationship, what is missing, what is needed so that this love that united you will not be lost.

Kurt, please do not be disturbed by the ambiguity of my questions. Take some time and reflect on your life.


Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

1 Corinthians 13:4‭-‬7

 

[unsubscribed]

Thank you Mariantos for the well written response :)

I’m not sure how you’ve come to your interpretation but I can appreciate it.

I spend too much time as it is reflecting on my life.
Like Haidut said in a podcast when speaking to a dr, I’m not depressed, I do far more than most. I’m motivated too much if anything.
I was hoping for more of a chemical explanation as to why I can’t feel.. anything.
Excess serotonin?
What causes this bluntness.

I had it once, I know the feeling but right now, I’m desensitised and I don’t know why.
This isn’t about my wife, or child, or my Harley or guitars. I was just trying to state that I have a great life, but it’s written in a book and I’m reading it instead of living it.

I’m sorry if this is confusing but life is mental.

Kurt

 

[mariantos]

Thank you Mariantos for the well written response :)

I’m not sure how you’ve come to your interpretation but I can appreciate it.

I spend too much time as it is reflecting on my life.
Like Haidut said in a podcast when speaking to a dr, I’m not depressed, I do far more than most. I’m motivated too much if anything.
I was hoping for more of a chemical explanation as to why I can’t feel.. anything.
Excess serotonin?
What causes this bluntness.

I had it once, I know the feeling but right now, I’m desensitised and I don’t know why.
This isn’t about my wife, or child, or my Harley or guitars. I was just trying to state that I have a great life, but it’s written in a book and I’m reading it instead of living it.

I’m sorry if this is confusing but life is mental.

Kurt

I understand your point of view.

I have a bizarre way of touching on certain aspects of life, thanks to the experiences I have had. For me life is more than mental.

Since we are both rational men, we come from different worlds and implicitly our perspectives on life are different, I think I can't help you with the situation you are facing.

That being said, I wish you all the best and peace of mind!

 

[LUH 3417]

I sent an email to ray about this recently but I didn’t get a response yet. I was wondering why some days I can feel people so much more, in the sense of being open and energetically capable are being emotional with them as opposed to days I feel like I am operating on autopilot. I feel it is a combination of physiology and spirituality but I can’t quite pin it down.

 

[Rick K]

Thank you Mariantos for the well written response :)

I’m not sure how you’ve come to your interpretation but I can appreciate it.

I spend too much time as it is reflecting on my life.
Like Haidut said in a podcast when speaking to a dr, I’m not depressed, I do far more than most. I’m motivated too much if anything.
I was hoping for more of a chemical explanation as to why I can’t feel.. anything.
Excess serotonin?
What causes this bluntness.

I had it once, I know the feeling but right now, I’m desensitised and I don’t know why.
This isn’t about my wife, or child, or my Harley or guitars. I was just trying to state that I have a great life, but it’s written in a book and I’m reading it instead of living it.

I’m sorry if this is confusing but life is mental.

Kurt

Without presupposition or judgement I separate love into two parts: chemical based and "unconditional". I am not religious but have a profound relationship with God. It was given to me; I did not seek it out. When that gift was given I was separated from my ego mind and a power beyond love poured down through my head and out of my heart with such extreme force I didn't think I would survive. I knew love for all people and all things and was free from emotional pain forever. The internal voice was silenced. Whew..If that's too esoteric, as it can only be achieved through the kundalini, chemical love is the product of oxytocin. When that is suppressed then one becomes indifferent to bonding. That can be tweaked with peptides.
Mariantos has brought up some excellent points for consideration. Try not to fall into the trap of reflection. This is a trick of the ego mind. When you find yourself in this state make every effort to become fully absorbed in your surroundings and experience. This is simply called being present; being in the Now.

 

[CLASH]

Thank you Mariantos for the well written response :)

I’m not sure how you’ve come to your interpretation but I can appreciate it.

I spend too much time as it is reflecting on my life.
Like Haidut said in a podcast when speaking to a dr, I’m not depressed, I do far more than most. I’m motivated too much if anything.
I was hoping for more of a chemical explanation as to why I can’t feel.. anything.
Excess serotonin?
What causes this bluntness.

I had it once, I know the feeling but right now, I’m desensitised and I don’t know why.
This isn’t about my wife, or child, or my Harley or guitars. I was just trying to state that I have a great life, but it’s written in a book and I’m reading it instead of living it.

I’m sorry if this is confusing but life is mental.

Kurt

Have you ever looked into vitamin/ mineral deficiencies? These can lead to anhedonia as they are cofactors in neurotransmitter synthesis. For example folate (5 methyl-folate) is a cofactor in serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine synthesis.

I'd recommend logging a day of eating into cronometer to see if you've been chronically deficient in something and then either running a lab test and/ or supplementing to see if it makes a difference.

I'd just be careful with supplementing individual minerals like zinc and copper, or manganese because they can cause issues in isolation. I'd also supplement the B-vitamins in combination to avoid inducing deficiencies of the non-supplemented B-vitamins as they tend to work together.

 

[Dave Clark]

Additionally, make sure that you are not mercury {Hg} toxic. Your symptoms are also symptoms of mercury toxicity, and I don't mean that in an extreme way. Hg in your brain can mess with a lot of things. Anyone who was vaccinated or has dental amalgams, or a heavy diet of fish may have Hg issues. Mostly, it is people with dental amalgams that have the worst Hg toxicity. It is a piece of the puzzle most people don't look at since they may not understand how Hg upsets cellular metabolism.

 

[Elast1c]

Hey all,

Why can’t I feel love? I have a wife, I remember feeling love daily. I have a newborn daughter I feel detached from.
Everything in my life is as great as it can be, I just can’t feel anything.
I ride my Harley into the hills on a beautiful day, I’m creative, I write/play music alone and with a band.
I remember the feeling, and that’s just it… a distant memory…
What could potentially be some issues that could cause this type of thing?

thank you all :)

Kurt

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,”
— Galatians 5:22 (KJV)
Luke 7 (KJV)
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
³⁹ Now when the Pharisee which had bidden him saw it, he spake within himself, saying, This man, if he were a prophet, would have known who and what manner of woman this is that toucheth him: for she is a sinner.
⁴⁰ And Jesus answering said unto him, Simon, I have somewhat to say unto thee. And he saith, Master, say on.
⁴¹ There was a certain creditor which had two debtors: the one owed five hundred pence, and the other fifty.
⁴² And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both. Tell me therefore, which of them will love him most?
⁴³ Simon answered and said, I suppose that he, to whom he forgave most. And he said unto him, Thou hast rightly judged.
⁴⁴ And he turned to the woman, and said unto Simon, Seest thou this woman? I entered into thine house, thou gavest me no water for my feet: but she hath washed my feet with tears, and wiped them with the hairs of her head.
⁴⁵ Thou gavest me no kiss: but this woman since the time I came in hath not ceased to kiss my feet.
⁴⁶ My head with oil thou didst not anoint: but this woman hath anointed my feet with ointment.
⁴⁷ Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”
“For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.”
“He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.”
— John 3:18 (KJV)