Young people are lonelier than ever

[Ben.]

if people wanted to talk, one wouldn't have to initiate every single conversation. For every person one approaches to interact with, another person should be approaching them. If one is always the one that chats people up, then the reality is no one wants to talk (to them or perhaps in general). Speaking from experience here. Letting go of one's ego, talking to people when no one does the same for you, will result in (at best) one-sided "acquaintanceships" where you're the one doing all the work, or (at worst) repeated social rejection and intensify any feelings of self loathing, loneliness and inadequacy

is that so? what more can you do?

maybe there is still the moment lacking where one genuinely clicks and connects? thats all thats missing sometimes?

maybe the friendship habit of talking eachother up or texting eachother over minor things hasnt been established yet.

perhaps if things dont evolve as desired then communicating ones needs and expectations of the relationship must be adressed directly.

and if it seems as if they realy dont care then it might realy be the wrong crowd one is trying to connect with.

i mean whats the alternative? staying lonely? keep having superficial aquaintances?
unfullfilling social interactions is awful. Hard work for literally no reward sucks big time.

innately speaking it shoudnt be that hard to connect and form social bonds because its quite a intuitive trait so there might be a deeper issue at hand. Overthinking into these things is a self-reinforcing problem too.
theres also the health question of neurotransmitters/hormones being in the right place which are required to have social success.


from a problem solving perspective one might need to look at ones own approach and consider another way of doing it most likely. bad unconcious habits, body language, facial expressions, previous relationship traumas etc. fall into that aswell.

but one thing one should never do is allow these negative emotions to be a critic of ones own person. one is not inately wrong period. Rejection doesnt have to be a insult to ones own person. Does it feel bad? Should it? yeah ofcourse. But it should be seen more of a failure of action rather than a failure of self. Feeling bad in a moment of failure or dissapointment is ok, selfloathing and enforcing negative emotions and opinions about ones self, especially longterm is not.


maybe i projected to much into your response. whoever relates to these issues i wish you the best in your endevours.

 

[joaquin]

Young people are lonely. But some refuse to enter into full adulthood. One couple says they don't want to have children because mental illness "runs in the family" and they don't want to pass down that genetic?
So by this line of reasoning, only a perfect man and woman should replenish the earth.

Genes and germs are the false gods of this age.

 

[stoic]

if people wanted to talk, one wouldn't have to initiate every single conversation. For every person one approaches to interact with, another person should be approaching them. If one is always the one that chats people up, then the reality is no one wants to talk (to them or perhaps in general). Speaking from experience here. Letting go of one's ego, talking to people when no one does the same for you, will result in (at best) one-sided "acquaintanceships" where you're the one doing all the work, or (at worst) repeated social rejection and intensify any feelings of self loathing, loneliness and inadequacy

If you want to be approached, you need to look approachable first, and to feel good about yourself and other people.

A good hormonal state obviously helps — I get more friendliness and respect when on pansterone and androsterone.