Attracting Women: What’s The Secret?

[ransom]

Don't overthink it too much, making it complicated. It certainly is difficult in modern times to interact with others in public because of headphones, isolationist attitudes, cliques, etc. at least in the US where I am. Your skin color/ethnicity matters 0%. Your look matters very little. When people tell you "confidence" what they mean is stand tall and be decisive - in all things - walk with intention, do things with intention, don't be out in public looking around unsure of what to do, don't stammer or stutter when speaking and DO NOT mumble. Be sure of what you want to say and say it proudly, no matter who hears it.

If you meet a nice girl that you'd like to know more, could be a cafe barista, fellow shopper, student, etc... Just be direct. Don't try a stupid pick-up line, they don't work. Let them know that you noticed them, ask them their name maybe make some quick, small talk related to the situation you're both in, and then ask them if they would like to JOIN YOU for something. Could be coffee, museum visit, movies, anything. As long as you are not leaving it open-ended, i.e. "we should hang out some time" "what is your number?" "well maybe we'll see each other around"... Just say "hey I'm planning on doing X, would you like to join me? I'd love to get to know you better". If they say yes then you can grab their number so you don't lose contact.

If you're a well-put-together guy - don't have to be attractive as long as you are clean, tidy, put together - then you would be surprised how many positive responses you'll get. And above all, you WILL get rejected, probably most of the time. Everyone does. Don't sweat it. Don't lash out in anger at the woman, just kindly back off and never speak to her again. You are getting better at this each time you are rejected. But you WILL get a yes and it will make it all worth it.

Good luck brother, be a gentleman and God will reward you.

 

[Gânico]

be good looking

 

[Makrosky]

when I used Dhea women looked at me a lot and men were afraid I don't know why but this is happening now, when I'm out of starch and too much calcium, salt, carbs.....

Yes. This happens when you use some hormones. I think it also affects animals like dogs.

You have to be careful where you use this e.g. workplace or going to certain kind of pubs/discos. You might get fired or pick up a fight. It has been discussed in many threads of haidut's products.

But for the OP please, don't focus on hormones to pick up girls. The root cause of you not being able to do it doesn't have to do anything with hormones.

 

[Makrosky]

Btw the title of the thread is wrong. It should read something like this: Attraction from women: What's the secret to not **** it up?

 

[Runenight201]

Just be yourself.

While always true, if you are not an attractive male, being yourself will not attract woman to you. Being yourself will actually most likely turn them away from you.

be good looking

Pretty much. Things that attract woman: physical make up, status, money, personality.

Depending on whatever your genetics and parents gave you, you’re left to figure focus on whichever area calls you the most. Improving on each of the above will of course be beneficial, but there’s always the law of diminishing returns and genetic ceilings.

Physical make up is good for first impressions and opening doors.

Status and money are pretty tied hand in hand. Woman want security and stability and this signals to them that they could have that with a man who has these things, especially if the type to want a family.

Personality is for solidifying bonds and keeping them with you. Also if you are in friend groups personality can do a lot of favors especially if lacking in the other categories.

Lastly an optimal masculine hormonal profile will instinctively spark desire in woman. It’s our biological nature. Same can be said about a very feminine looking woman in a man. There is the instinctive, underlying evolutionary signals that are baked into all of us, and then there are the higher level “human” psychological add ons.

 

[milkboi]

be good looking

 

[Brian Douglas]

Don’t act immature, don’t talk about yourself, look her straight in the eye, give a compliment, be fun, smell good and most of all be confident.

And have your own power tools. Particularly a Dremel. Good for blemish and plaque removal and an important part of foreplay.☺

 

[Sitaruîm]

Charisma

 

[parallax]

I have lived and dated in latin america, and I have lived and dated in north america, both women of my own complexion and women of other ethnicities. A man's looks can matter, but they are quickly trumped by personality factors. Dating cross-culturally is just a mixed bag of pros and cons, and its very personal and individual. As with cross-cultural issues in general, a key is to not enter with pre-conceived ideas.
Honestly I think a good way to start understanding what attracts women to men is to remove sexuality from the equation for a moment and think about what makes you like some men more than others. Be it male friends, or fictional characters.
I admire and enjoy being friends with men who are bright, articulate, and energetic, but perhaps the biggest factors are that they are optimistic and interested in things, almost obsessive but not quite; curious about the world and passionate about something.. playing guitar, learning languages, botany, running, skateboarding, whatever. Interested people are interesting, and that is a component of charisma. You may have different taste, but there will probably be a fair bit in common.

Women's attraction to men will be along similar lines, plus their sexual paradigm. The sexual / partnership aspect is easier to figure out when you separate it from the above factors of general likeability. Given that the man has an admirable personality and energy, women are sexually attracted to signs of health; good muscle tone, low inflammation, no bad smells, etc. And general masculinity, which takes many forms; whatever is a good version of you will likely be great in this way.
The partnership aspect gets into societal expectations and psychological factors, but it might be summed up as an absence of fatal red flags; women generally want to see signs that you are capable of pulling your own weight, being altruistic, and not being needly or clingly. This neediness aspect is heavily emphasized in "game theory," it is observed that a balance of aloof interest is ideal. That is, you should be interested enough in women to be present, but you shouldn't care at all if they reject you.

TLDR
-Smell good / don't smell bad
-talk to women but don't care if they reject you
-be optimistic and have hobbies.

 

[Old Irenaeus]

Try to have the warmth of authentic love in your heart and everyone will be attracted to you. Men, women, children, dogs, squirrels, bees. And get a good tan.

 

[parallax]

Try to have the warmth of authentic love in your heart and everyone will be attracted to you. Men, women, children, dogs, squirrels, bees. And get a good tan.

Hallelujah

 

[opiath]

I think most of the advice in this thread may or may not give the OP some degree of success with women but it doesn't really answer the question as to what actually drives female attraction.
You may ask a number of women and a number of men to tell you what attracts women and they will tell you a number of different things. Most of these things will be correct in some contexts but the question is WHY do they work?

To understand it you have to understand how evolution and sexual selection actually work.
Evolution is the process by which certain organisms are 'selected' to reproduce.
The mechanism for deciding who gets to reproduce and who doesn't is called sexual selection.
In most species the females are doing the 'selection' while the males have to 'prove' themselves.
Why does it work this way?
In mammals the thing that makes males different from females is the presence of the Y chromosome.
The Y chromosome is the package for genetic experimentation because of its high mutation rate.
This means that genetic variance between men is higher than variance between women.
The high variance between men allows women to observe which of the males are best suited for their current environment.
The percentage of males that get to reproduce is mostly a function of society's access to resources and female sexual freedom.
If a woman has high access to resources and support structure for raising children provided by civilization she can be instinctively driven to seek the very top of the males best adapted to their environment.
In a highly developed civilization where women have ultimate sexual freedom and safety nets only 10-20% of the males will get to enjoy sexual intimacy.
This is in stark contrast to the past 2000 years where monogamy was enforced by society, religion, the general lack of resources and the many hardships that accompanied daily life.

So the essence of this is that women 'select' while men 'get selected' unless culture enforces otherwise.
That's why you are asking questions about 'attracting' women.
Because women are gatekeepers that decide who gets to have sex with them and you want to know what to improve on in order to get 'selected'.

You want women?
Just prove you are better than the men around you.
There is no mystery. Life is a game.
You can choose to play or not to play but the game goes on with or without you.
You can eat healthy, go the gym, focus on your appearance, work on your profession, learn how to communicate better, develop charm and charisma, build a social circle, contribute to society, earn status symbols. All of these things will improve your success with women because they provide proof you adapt to your environment but ultimately if you do it for the sole purpose of getting women you will look like a peacock chasing female attention.
Build the life you want for you and you will draw women to you naturally.

If every male was guaranteed reproduction there would be no sexual evolution :)

 

[GodsHound]

If you’re handsome enough you can do whatever you want, like at a party you go up to girl bite onto her hair and don’t let go, lock ur jaws and start growling

 

[Sitaruîm]

Try to have the warmth of authentic love in your heart and everyone will be attracted to you. Men, women, children, dogs, squirrels, bees. And get a good tan.

This is it. I'm experiencing exactly that right now.

 

[TobyBjorn]

Doing it: be chill, cultivate carisma as others here have described.
Thinking about it:
Female Delusion Calculator - if this is about female delusion then it can't help but also be about male delusion; it is a useful aid to understanding the statistics involved in modern pairbonding.
There is a lot to be gained by reading disparate advices on this issue and finding how you can syncretise the emotions and ideas. For example, one could read the work of Richard Cooper, perhaps his book The Unplugged Alpha. Understand his story and what is true about what he says, then try to understand the people who criticize his work and how there is truth in their opinions as well. Do the same with Sex at Dawn by Dr. Chris Ryan and Cacilda Jetha.

 

[TobyBjorn]

If you’re handsome enough you can do whatever you want, like at a party you go up to girl bite onto her hair and don’t let go, lock ur jaws and start growling

This is true if you define handsome very broadly and if you are young and with other young people, or if you are rich with young women in a discreet setting. In many contexts this will result in getting female attention, but often it will be the kind of female you are better off without.

 

[Rinse & rePeat]

And have your own power tools. Particularly a Dremel. Good for blemish and plaque removal and an important part of foreplay.☺

Ohhhh yes, I hear your saying!

 

[EJG2112]

Try to have the warmth of authentic love in your heart and everyone will be attracted to you. Men, women, children, dogs, squirrels, bees. And get a good tan.

Several have mentioned good looks and that helps initially of course, but it's not everything. - I was going to say, "to be comfortable in your own skin" - in an animalistic way. Animals are not self conscious about their appearance or second guessing their decisions or ashamed of their past failures. In addition to well-adjusted, confident, authentic people having this trait, unfortunately, psychopaths and sociopaths can be initially attractive to others for this reason, until their true nature reveals itself.

The quote above is maybe more to the point and pleasantly written. The authentic love includes loving and accepting yourself fully as well. Something that many struggle with. Deep self-love and acceptance is not antithetical to striving for continual self-improvement.

Regarding tanning, it's up there. I have felt that sleep, diet and physical activity are the 3 most important things for good health. Recently I'm inclined to believe that adequate sunlight (and positive relationships) are just as essential. Just "going outside" is often the most powerful anti-depressant. If one is also barefoot and in or near water, even better. Like getting deep and restful sleep, you just can't replace being immersed in nature with an adequate substitute.

 

[baccheion]

How tall are you? What attractiveness (use: Am I pretty or ugly? Face beauty analysis test )?

Buy all those sham dating products. Immersion.

Dating site optimization is the modern strategy. Optimize profile and it will translate into real life. It effectively leads to high quality well-staged pictures, better dressing and grooming, better awareness of what is perceived and how to maintain, better diet and health/nutrition, better supplements, gym, better outlook, etc.

It is all about energy/vibe/personality/compatibility and hobbies, as most males are considered unattractive. For example, only about 10% can be the absolute bare minimum 5'8" + 5.5/10 + 5 inches + STD-free + ≥85 IQ. Only 5% if the bottom half of earners are eliminated. Less than 1% are considered outright attractive using the aforementioned measure (probably the 3rd standard deviation or ~0.1333%). For the record, 70% of males are in a relationship though.

It is not that women aren't libidinous and superficial, it is that they are on a budget and the male pool gets ugly a lot faster (at least 3x as many women before it goes negative).

If having enough money, can always buy more directly (eg, live in help or something)..

 

[Brian Douglas]

Ohhhh yes, I hear your saying!

Have a good friend named Sandy who gave me this advice.