Attracting Women: What’s The Secret?

[IPlayDart]

I find it hard to believe that we haven’t figured out yet the mystery of how to attract the opposite sex. I‘ve been craving love and a girl for years now but other than cuddling I never had a deep connection with a woman.
I‘m way too young and don’t want to miss out. This is the perfect time to meet and hang out with girls.

May it be because I‘m a foreigner living in a Caucasian country? I‘m white- skinned though.

 

[Rinse & rePeat]

I find it hard to believe that we haven’t figured out yet the mystery of how to attract the opposite sex. I‘ve been craving love and a girl for years now but other than cuddling I never had a deep connection with a woman.
I‘m way too young and don’t want to miss out. This is the perfect time to meet and hang out with girls.

May it be because I‘m a foreigner living in a Caucasian country? I‘m white- skinned though.

Don’t act immature, don’t talk about yourself, look her straight in the eye, give a compliment, be fun, smell good and most of all be confident.

 

[LeeLemonoil]

I find it hard to believe that we haven’t figured out yet the mystery of how to attract the opposite sex

Projection.


There is no secret to it.
If you are reasonably healthy and intelligent, then the only other required steps are diligence and integrity: working to attain a certain level of status and material security.

But nobody gets every girl. There are always out of league individuals, that’s the reality of status.

I‘m not pretending that being foreign can’t be a malus, but it isn’t strong enough a factor for a man not getting a Woman.

 

[Luann]

Scarcity.

Hang out in circles that are mixed or have girls in them. Become comfortable and learn what makes women feel comfortable. Then you can have your pick, since many guys are not completely comfortable and avoid those settings.

Also hang out with happily married men who can teach you how to demonstrate your own value and attract the kind of ladies you like. Stay away from internet sites for surplus or unsatisfied men, if you know what I mean. Not only will you waste your time there by interacting only with guys and occasional pick-me women, but you will pick up jargon that signals low status to women.

You don't have to change your mind or your vote, but learn how women think and politic. Talk to your sis or read a Babysitter's Club book. Become comfortable in circles of women.

Scarcity.

 

[AlaskaJono]

I find it hard to believe that we haven’t figured out yet the mystery of how to attract the opposite sex. I‘ve been craving love and a girl for years now but other than cuddling I never had a deep connection with a woman.
I‘m way too young and don’t want to miss out. This is the perfect time to meet and hang out with girls.

May it be because I‘m a foreigner living in a Caucasian country? I‘m white- skinned though.

I would feel like a foreigner in New Hampshire! Actually I was there 20 years ago and .... felt like a foreigner. And I was born in New Orleans! Hehehe... Cross that Vermont line, or North Mass. line, and .... ahhhh. I don't know now how it is there.... I had some work and some interesting projects there in NWestern Mass, then I left. Not my cuppa tea. I have lived outside the USA for much of my post 18 year old life, and I am almost 60. Much of America, and Americans in general, are quite small minded in a cultural sense. America is HUGE, so.... they did not have to care what the hell is going on elsewhere.... (a blessing and a curse, but another story).

If you ARE meeting girls, and nothing is happening from that, that is ok. No sympatico vibes. Ca va. Do what you love to do in your life, at least some of the time, and you will eventually meet people - women included- who appreciate your being and want to dance, more intimately. This is a very F&^(&^cked up time in history, and there have been powerful psychological operations against natural sexuality and human freedoms in general. Depends where you are 'from', but... if you are European, or eastern European, then you have not much to hide. Your worldiness and ability to speak several languages may be a bit much for folks, or they are just 'into different stuff'. Whatever the current 'stuff ' is. New Hampshire used to be the epitome of conservative republicanism in the USA, along with Connecticult.

And as above, a lot of women are only interested in men for a hookup if status and money play into it. Most do want this, and unless they have done some serious soul searching and know who they are, it is a strong (unconscious) motivator. So don't worry, and keep going mate. Don't be desperate, and be confident in yourself.

 

[Sunny Jack]

Just be yourself.

 

[ursidae]

May it be because I‘m a foreigner living in a Caucasian country? I‘m white- skinned though.

Potentially
Ceasing any attempts to associate with or get close to white/westernised non-white people has made the biggest difference in my life. Went from making endless efforts to socialise only to be treated poorly or blatantly ignored (caused me depression and self loathing) to being treated like an actual human being and making real connections with people. Will be keeping this up for a couple more months until I return to my homeland permanently. Foreigner life is a life of alienation and crippling loneliness. May take decades of persistent efforts and rejection to find a romantic partner

 

[BrianF]

Get rid of that pony tailed thingy for a start.

 

[Hugh Johnson]

All the answers here are superficial and won't help you. I can literally look at a woman and be attractive, and then, by changing nothing in my posture or expression look at her in a way that causes her to recoil away and close sown her body language in defense. Women like stuff like being tall and having money, but a women feels in a deep way a man can not. She feels you, who you are and what you intend. She might say she would never have sex with you because you are short, but would have sex with a shorter man because he is attractive. A women is attracted to you energy.

Your issue is craving. That energetically drives away what you want. Especially women. Women want to be desired. They absolutely do not want to fill an emptiness inside you. Sedona Method should help. Let go of that need to be loved, and you will attract women. Learn to feel your emotions, and bodily sensations. For this meditation, yoga and tantra are helpful. Open you heart and learn to love unconditionally, even a little bit an you will be supremely attractive. Advaita Vedanta/nonduality in the tradition Ramana Maharishi is IMHO the easiset. And go do some Radical Honesty workshops, you in likelyhood are dishonest with women. Most men are, women feel it, and hate and fear it.

Looks, youth, money, height. All nice and women like them. But Eckhart Tolle is a sex symbol to many women, Mooji allegedly has a harem, and there are guys living in their cars playing guitar all day with stunning women in their lives. Women see your soul, even if they don't know they do. It's not what you do. It's who you are that attracts women. There is no trick that would make a fat woman attractive to me. Women are no different.

 

[Makrosky]

Foreigner life is a life of alienation and crippling loneliness.

Doesn't necessarily have to be like this, it depends on yourself and the circumstances. And to what degree you are genuinely interested or willing to fall in love with your new country and how much are you willing to let go your ego ***t and live in the present. But yes, it is very tough. And no matter what it will be alienating. You only know it if you live it. Hope it gets better for you, I am an expat myself. Hope to return back home soon too.

 

[Morgan]

In truth, if your interests or affections for someone isn't reciprocated then it is not worth it; they are not worth your time. We all have to take care of ourselves, to desperately learn to be comfortable or confident with our being, we all have to approach some vague notion of "status"; but it is nonsense telling men that is what makes you somehow "worthy" of love.

Women like stuff like being tall and having money, but a women feels in a deep way a man can not. She feels you, who you are and what you intend.

I disagree, this would be parroting a cultural paradigm that ironically creates the sort of situations that the OP is in. It is what you would call intuition, and often if one is gifted with that it becomes a social hindrance by how it intimidates others.. To read and see their lies, their hypocrisy, their fragility, their morality, or their hidden kindness; this is especially true for men in our current culture, unfortunately.

Your issue is craving. That energetically drives away what you want. Especially women. Women want to be desired. They absolutely do not want to fill an emptiness inside you.

Yes, but we are all rooted in some form of craving, and everyone wants to be desired; it just so happens that it is often men that are shamed from acknowledging their needs or desires. We all have some kind of emptiness or void inside us, it is part of the human condition; so, the question is, why would women be conditioned to be afraid of a man that wants to be loved? That wants to be human..? This is how dishonesty breeds, because we tell men to firstly be dishonest with themselves; we tell them how to be, what they must do to be "worthwhile", or what they need to do in order to just be seen.

Get rid of that pony tailed thingy for a start.

Don't ever listen to someone else tell you how you should be in regards to your appearance, especially someone that has done nothing to earn your respect.

I‘ve been craving love and a girl for years now but other than cuddling I never had a deep connection with a woman.

There is no secret, and love will only break your heart. C'est la vie.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hg7qdowoemo

 

[GreekDemiGod]

I find it hard to believe that we haven’t figured out yet the mystery of how to attract the opposite sex.

There is no mystery about women, that's a myth. That's just something that men who have had little success will women perpetuate.
Once you start learning the psychology of what attracts them and what drives their behavior, you realize that most women are more or less the same, in what attracts and keeps them around, with some varieties.
The problem is you lack experience. Men with a lot of experience are not afraid of women, nor they think women are a mystery.

 

[Hugh Johnson]

In truth, if your interests or affections for someone isn't reciprocated then it is not worth it; they are not worth your time. We all have to take care of ourselves, to desperately learn to be comfortable or confident with our being, we all have to approach some vague notion of "status"; but it is nonsense telling men that is what makes you somehow "worthy" of love.


I disagree, this would be parroting a cultural paradigm that ironically creates the sort of situations that the OP is in. It is what you would call intuition, and often if one is gifted with that it becomes a social hindrance by how it intimidates others.. To read and see their lies, their hypocrisy, their fragility, their morality, or their hidden kindness; this is especially true for men in our current culture, unfortunately.


Yes, but we are all rooted in some form of craving, and everyone wants to be desired; it just so happens that it is often men that are shamed from acknowledging their needs or desires. We all have some kind of emptiness or void inside us, it is part of the human condition; so, the question is, why would women be conditioned to be afraid of a man that wants to be loved? That wants to be human..? This is how dishonesty breeds, because we tell men to firstly be dishonest with themselves; we tell them how to be, what they must do to be "worthwhile", or what they need to do in order to just be seen.


Don't ever listen to someone else tell you how you should be in regards to your appearance, especially someone that has done nothing to earn your respect.


There is no secret, and love will only break your heart. C'est la vie.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hg7qdowoemo

What you say is harmful, and as beautiful young woman, your advice is like millionaire heiress giving financial advise. You have no experience from the other side, nor about changing anything. I do.

 

[Charlieb91]

I find it hard to believe that we haven’t figured out yet the mystery of how to attract the opposite sex. I‘ve been craving love and a girl for years now but other than cuddling I never had a deep connection with a woman.
I‘m way too young and don’t want to miss out. This is the perfect time to meet and hang out with girls.

May it be because I‘m a foreigner living in a Caucasian country? I‘m white- skinned though.

There are lots of things that attract a woman, if you’re a normal guy not born into fame or wealth then it is going to be a grind. Which In my opinion contrary to what society tells us it’s a grind finding the right person and requires a ton of self improvement, going to social events when you don’t want to, getting rejected by girls who are 100% your type and also getting let down by a girl you were dating and were so sure you were gonna end up making your girlfriend. “The right person will come along” mentality is the worst advice ever usually from people who met their partner through a stroke of luck or haven’t experienced being awkward, lacking entitlement or unconfidence which has lead people to either wait for a person that they feel adequately happy with or single forever.

Like nutrition there’s a lot of information on the topic of dating, and a lot is terrible: Mystery Method, expensive cologne, just be yourself etc…
I’d recommend real social dynamics’ content and/or Chris Deoudes work for understanding female psychology.
Or like how everyone finds Rays work, try what you think will work, fail and try something new each time.

 

[aniciete]

What you say is harmful, and as beautiful young woman, your advice is like millionaire heiress giving financial advise. You have no experience from the other side, nor about changing anything. I do.

That’s not a woman bro

 

[FocusedOnHealth]

Don’t act immature, don’t talk about yourself, look her straight in the eye, give a compliment, be fun, smell good and most of all be confident.

I agree, and to the OP, you probably won’t like this response, but don’t shave your hair and wear a tiny ponytail.

 

[Rinse & rePeat]

I agree, and to the OP, you probably won’t like this response, but don’t shave your hair and wear a tiny ponytail.

I personally don’t think that matters. I am not into long hair or ponytails, but a confident, nice guy giving me “that” look could convince me otherwise.

 

[FocusedOnHealth]

I personally don’t think that matters. I am not into long hair or ponytails, but a confident, nice guy giving me “that” look could convince me otherwise.

I understand. My ponytail comment was directed to the OP since he was asking.

 

[I'm.No.One]

First maybe ask yourself what values/morals YOU are looking for in a woman.

No really, because it sounds like you're asking how best to bait a fishing hook to "catch one".

Once you figure out what you're actually looking for in a partner ask how YOU would match up to that & what social circles that you would encounter such morals/values in.

I also don't think you being from a different country is as big as an obstacle as you believe considering many women & men look for partners overseas.

 

[Roni123@]

when I used Dhea women looked at me a lot and men were afraid I don't know why but this is happening now, when I'm out of starch and too much calcium, salt, carbs.....