- Sep 28, 2016
Have you considered bettering your gaba system and increasing neurosteroids? What has your diet been like in the past?I've had agoraphobia since I was 19 and I remember having panic attacks as young as 5 (my brother rolled me up in the hearth rug) (the little bastard). At 30 I took 20mg then 30mg peroxatine for 15 years. It was a godsend at first, although it didn't stop the fearful thoughts, I became a lot better at dealing with the panic attacks. Then I stopped dreading the attacks so much because I was confident I could manage them. Still agoraphobic to a certain extent, but I could travel enough to function happily. This is when I should have stopped the drug. 14 years later I felt nothing, I had no interest in anything and became withdrawn.
It took a year to wean myself off peroxetine, I experienced some unpleasant side effects including acute anxiety and the occasional suicidal thought, all in all a lot worse than when I started. Which brought me to this forum.
My fears are all based around 'feeling trapped'. CBT doesn't work well for this fear, or indeed any where there is no escape route, i.e. flying. In England we get a lot of fog and I am absolutely terrified of it, have been since childhood. I cannot run from this fear and I never know when it will end. I pretty much have to stay put and face it, something CBT says you must do in order for therapy to work. Yet I've carried this fear, intact, into my forties.
Last nights fog caused the worst panic attack I can remember, I dealt with it so badly that it triggered anticipatory anxiety in me today, even though its a clear day. The times when I've made the most progress with my panic attacks have always been when I've felt confident that I can deal with them, even just adequately, which has a knock on effect. However, when I have a bad one it also has it's knock on effect.
In a panic attack, I feel like I've taken a whopping great lung full of air, except I haven't, I've exhaled everything. This feeling alone makes me feel like I'm in 'fight or flight' mode, and I just want run. I do 478 breathing often but this doesn't work in a panic. If I could just deal with that physical part of panic, maybe with a drug or supplement, I think it would be easier then to distract myself from the real fear which is in my head. These two things seem to feed off each other.
I absolutely do not want to go back onto ssri's, and I don't mind taking something as and when because I know exactly when I'm going to have a panic attack, in fact I often schedule them in. (I must stop listening to the shipping forecast).