Consciousness Is Quantum, Can Be Modulated With Specific Chemicals

[Terma]

Evening before (some things a little earlier):
Caprylic acid oil, ~10mg topical progesterone + DHEA, ~5g D-ribose, 4mg copper citrate + 30mg zinc citrate (half of this was during an earlier meal of same composition, to spread out 2x 2mg/15mg pills), ~1g histidine or more, beta-alanine, taurine, potassium bicarbonate, salt (moderate), ~300-400mg magnesium aspartate, 500mg calcium citrate, active B complex, ~800-1600mcg+ methylfolate, 3000mcg methylcobalamin, ~2g serine, pyritinol, R5P, whey, sulbutiamine (B1), 200mcg selenomethionine + ~225mcg potassium iodide, 10,000 IU vitamin D3, 500-1000mg carnitine fumarate, sushi rice (white sugar, salt, rice vinegar), kale, lean beef, white sugar, maybe something I forgot but nothing huge otherwise I'll point it out later

Midday today:
35mg cannabinoid pure oil, 5-15mg topical pregnenolone + DHEA (esters), ~1g taurine, ~2g potassium bicarbonate, salt (moderate), 400mg magnesium aspartate, 400mg calcium citrate, tiny bit of 99% alpha-GPC, sushi rice (white sugar, salt, rice vinegar), kale, lean beef, white sugar, there might have been ~400mcg histidine but I can't remember, maybe some active B complex but I can't remember, maybe something I forgot...

It's almost perfect.

Note that I took the caprylic acid oil only in the evening prior, together with whey, beef and carbs - the perfect way to drive a ton of tryptophan straight into the neurons and astrocytes. However, today the only tryptophan I've had so far is lean beef and white rice. So presumably I woke up with more NAD+ but did not consume as much or as high spikes of tryptophan today. So it is less "in the way" of pure rationality.

But it could use a little more emotionality (histidine, methionine, tryptophan?). We'll see when the sushi gets here.

There is relative happiness but it is more like contentedness.

It is just supreme honesty together with high confidence. You can write the perfect music because you can predict the notes you most want to hear so it always sounds the best, or simply you can just hear all the best notes at the same time and you choose the one you like most instantly. I'm not sure I understand the difference.

I'm not talking to anybody but myself though. I'm not talking to anyone.

 

[methylenewhite]

Id like to become manic again. I love to be manic. I even got psychosis 3 times. Well it always ends up tough&bad but it's too funny to remember after. I will write a book maybe. Unfortunately I'm mostly hypomanic.

 

[Terma]

I know what you mean, I got that all the time overdosing on phenibut and stuff like PRL-8-53 and other stuff. This is not that. I also continued with other supplement tonight and now everything is just a velvety blanket of soft - I couldn't continue to write this because I just want to browse some art and watch some kid's shows (steroids, whey, pyritinol, R5P, methylfolate and caprylic acid really came through). This is more the opposite because afaik the cannabinoid and some other things antagonize norepinephrine release and actions. This is like the opposite of manic. I mean states like psychosis are not fun man, I've been there. I'm not sure how you fill a book with that but myself I don't mind if you write that here and haidut is long gone lol.

 

[methylenewhite]

Sometimes I think psychosis is a state of sensory overload caused by extreme level of sensitivity. And actually our limited consciousness is not capable to decipher subconscious signals.

I suddenly woke up and I knew someone was out there in the night. Outside of the house's garden. No way to see or hear, dark, far away from the house. It was pure feeling of presence of someone. I have spent all the night at the door, armed and ready for action. I didnt know how many they are. And I was right. In the morning I found some written threats and demands.

I knew he was with them. He was there as a part of their searching groups. We managed to escape just minutes before they arrived to torture us.

I was capable of prediction. Seeing paterns and able to use these patterns to manage reality. I managed to learn so many things about everything.

I was able to know my phone will ring 5 second before it will actually call.

They say it was just a manic episode.

 

[Terma]

Wow that's almost really cool, except for the suggestion you were hunted down by a death squad or paramilitary group? The only time I remember a state of that type of fear of other presences was back in childhood (I feel better than childhood right now let me tell you), but of course nowhere near that accurate or serious.

I agree with your assessment of prediction abilities (and in particular serotonin is involved in threat prediction though that goes a bit further than usual).

You're right, that could make a book worth reading.

 

[methylenewhite]

The problem with this state is that it has very low threshold. You hear some dogs barking far far away. You think they have searching dogs like in a police film trying to troop round you. This is why I said looks like we don't have capacity to distinguish. Sensitivity is overtuned and general paranoidal state predicts signals interpretation.

 

[Terma]

Well that is related with the ability to filter signals, and this seems implemented by things like GABA signaling (e.g. allopregnanolone) (i.e. in hippocampus). That's why I put so much emphasis on inhibitory stuff in this protocol (steroids, magnesium, taurine, etc.). That's not dissimilar to what I do in that I intentionally lower my sensitivity to various external stimuli, but a strong input I can easily adapt to and filter things out. In part also because the signals don't register as threats readily (remember this is based off a cannabinoid). I mean you are talking about an advanced survival mode and that is not pleasant at all, I don't want that lol

 

[methylenewhite]

Do you find patterns easily in this state?

Talking about it makes me crave being in this state.

I had a partner to get through it. This person got unbelievable ability to calculate advanced math without even writing something down. You give him numbers to calculate, you immediatelly receive result properly calculated.

Imagine a group or a think tank.

 

[Terma]

That was the whole point originally - before it turned into some big empathetic life changing thing - was to increase creativity so I could connect dots in research more easily and write music more naturally (hence why it's based off a cannabinoid). It works for that, I've been using it for many months this year on weekends.

However it's not so much math - that's a less creative process. I could do that [to some extent] in the most reason-driven/dopaminergic state, but it's not the best use. Processing like math is more like the traditional nootropic dopamine + NMDA + acetylcholine route, e.g. PRL-8-53. At least that's how it seems to me, but I'm just one brain so it's really difficult to say how this would affect someone else.

 

[Terma]

One reason you might need histidine (and several of those other things, and also likely dynorphin/KOR signaling from a cannabinoid, plus GABAA agonists...) to get the full fear management potential:

Sci-Hub | The learning of fear extinction. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 47, 670–683 | 10.1016/j.neubiorev.2014.10.016

We studied the action of the histamine enhancer SKF91488, the histamine H2 receptor agonist, dimaprit, and the histamine H2 receptor antagonist ranitidine microinfused right after an extinc- tion training session of contextual fear conditioning or after that of inhibitory avoidance into hippocampus, BLA or vmPFC on the con- solidation of extinction. SKF91488 and the histamine H2-receptor agonist, dimaprit enhanced, and the H2 antagonist, ranitidine blocked memory consolidation of fear extinction in all three areas of the brain ( Bonini et al., 2011; Fiorenza et al., 2012 ). Thus, together with d-serine, the brain histamine system appears as the most generalized, powerful and consistent positive modulator system of the memory consolidation of extinction.

Thus, the regulation of the consolidation of fear extinction by histamine seems to rely on just one type of histaminergic receptor, H2, albeit in three different brain regions simultaneously, which makes it biochemically, but not anatomically, simpler than that of other forms of learning by this neurotransmitter.

Recent work on the extinction of fear-motivated learning places emphasis on its putative circuitry and on its modulation. Extinction is the learned inhibition of retrieval of previously acquired responses. Fear extinction is used as a major component of exposure therapy in the treatment of fear memories such as those of the posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It is initiated and maintained by interactions between the hippocampus, basolateral amygdala and ventromedial prefrontal cortex, which involve feedback regulation of the latter by the other two areas. Fear extinction depends on NMDA receptor activation. It is positively modulated by d-serine acting on the glycine site of NMDA receptors and blocked by AP5 (2-amino-5-phosphono propionate) in the three structures. In addition, histamine acting on H2 receptors and endocannabinoids acting on CB1 receptors in the three brain areas mentioned, and muscarinic cholinergic fibers from the medial septum to hippocampal CA1 positively modulate fear extinction. Importantly, fear extinction can be made state-dependent on circulating epinephrine, which may play a role in situations of stress. Exposure to a novel experience can strongly enhance the consolidation of fear extinction through a synaptic tagging and capture mechanism; this may be useful in the therapy of states caused by fear memory like PTSD.

Meanwhile imo these guys probably have the right idea about dynorphin (which is known to be induced by high-dose cannabinoid) being needed to represent fear memories:

Dynorphins Regulate Fear Memory: from Mice to Men

A prerequisite for safety learning, thus for the extinction of a conditioned behavior, is the recall of the fear memory and the detection of the prediction error (Herry et al., 2010). The aversive component of the past stress experience is encoded by dynorphin. Thus, in Pdyn−/− mice or in humans having reduced dynorphin signaling because of a genetic variation in PDYN the recall is incomplete, because the aversive component of the past event is not appropriately represented. It may next impair the prediction error detection and thus delay the extinction of the fear memory. We cannot, however, exclude a direct contribution of dynorphins in prediction error detection: Hippocampus (Radulovic and Tronson, 2010) and the prelimbic cortex (Matsumoto et al., 2007) are key areas for prediction error detection, and the activity of the hippocampus (but not the activity of the prelimbic cortex) was significantly reduced in Pdyn−/− animals after extinction training. It has been suggested that the ventrolateral periaqueductal gray area (vlPAG) is also involved in prediction error detection (McNally and Westbrook, 2003) and danger vicinity (Mobbs et al., 2007). In wild-type animals the c-fos expression in this area was low (Fig. 3E) after extinction training suggesting that the animals did not expect shock under no-shock conditions. The high expression of c-fos in the vlPAG on the other hand in Pdyn−/− mice shows that the vlPAG neurons detected the deviation from the predicted shock, but the animals continued to show freezing response. These results together suggest a role of dynorphins in the fear extinction in the hippocampus and prefrontal cortex but not in prediction error detection in the vlPAG (McNally et al., 2005).

Extra notes:
Sulbutiamine is useful to 'lighten up' the experience (most likely via dopamine but also to process all the carbs... gained value when tired)
The steroids seemed to work better with MCT oil as the carrier (no idea why - maybe the relative absorptions of the 2? Or the speed?).

 

[Terma]

There was one catch to this I couldn't rule out and based on the experience seems possible: that post-synaptic 5-HT1a receptors get agonized one way or another (direct agonism or funneling the effects of the existing serotonin that gets through - can't forget that B6 and folate/BH4 are involved in synthesizing it). Since the worst of them get ablated/modified - 5-HT2 & 5-HT3 - and 5-HT1a is a rather inhibitory and patience-promoting receptor it could fit into the experience, while high dose cannabinoids on their own are well known to induce cortisol and that's also its worst effect to my knowledge. Since some other emotionally-charging substances also partially work through this receptor, it's tempting to suspect, though there's no way it's the whole story on its own, and the literature has always been narrowly focused on it. I couldn't put my finger on this one, because 5-HT1a is usually attributed to CBD and that did absolutely nothing, while the other 5-HT antagonists/modulators I tried while on cannabinoid were unreliable though one was interesting, yet in some ways it's not illogical. I expect something else might happen at 5-HT7 since its involvement in sleep, but that's even less clear. Anyway I write this because I want to understand where the huge empathy surge came from since the value of that was immense (because it appeared to come from methylation and folate supplements, that makes it less clear if it will be always reproducible, since those are finicky). I still suspect tyrosine and tryptamine derivatives and others as well. This is kind of a disclaimer I still don't know exactly how this works (input especially from personal experiences welcome). But it's good. [This mostly concerns the empathetic part of the experience - it was totally out of left field]

 

[Terma]

Oh another thing I forgot, this would be interesting if true, I know people brought up this receptor and others posted about this relationship (goes with something posted earlier):

Oxytocin and Estrogen Receptor β in the Brain: An Overview

Oxytocin (OT) is a neuropeptide synthesized primarily by neurons of the paraventricular and supraoptic nuclei of the hypothalamus. These neurons have axons that project into the posterior pituitary and release OT into the bloodstream to promote labor and lactation; however, OT neurons also project to other brain areas where it plays a role in numerous brain functions. OT binds to the widely expressed OT receptor (OTR), and, in doing so, it regulates homeostatic processes, social recognition, and fear conditioning. In addition to these functions, OT decreases neuroendocrine stress signaling and anxiety-related and depression-like behaviors. Steroid hormones differentially modulate stress responses and alter OTR expression. In particular, estrogen receptor β activation has been found to both reduce anxiety-related behaviors and increase OT peptide transcription, suggesting a role for OT in this estrogen receptor β-mediated anxiolytic effect. Further research is needed to identify modulators of OT signaling and the pathways utilized and to elucidate molecular mechanisms controlling OT expression to allow better therapeutic manipulations of this system in patient populations.

Steroid hormones have been found to alter OT signaling. Estrogens can act in a synergistic manner with OT, not only by enhancing its anxiolytic effects (54) but also by increasing OTR levels in the mouse brain (55). In humans, a single dose of estradiol was sufficient to increase plasma OT levels in women (56). Similarly, testosterone alters OTR expression differently depending on brain region (21). Progesterone is important in pregnancy maintenance and in vitro studies found that progesterone could inhibit OT binding to the OTR (57). Also, treatment with a synthetic glucocorticoid significantly altered OTR expression in various brain regions, such as the amygdala, BNST, and VMH (58).

Activation of ERβ reduces HPA axis activity, as seen by reductions in ACTH levels and CORT levels, in mice (68) and rats (60, 69, 70) following a stressor. ERβ receptors are expressed widely throughout the brain and often overlap with ERα expression (71), except in the PVN of rats where only ERβ is expressed (72). Interestingly, approximately 85% of OT neurons in the PVN co-express ERβ (72), and activation of ERβ within the PVN, with the ERβ-specific agonist diarylpropionitrile (DPN) or testosterone metabolite 3β-diol, reduces HPA axis activity following restraint stress in rats (61, 73). Treatment with estradiol increases Ot mRNA expression in the brains of wild-type mice, but not in ERβ knockout (ERβKO) mice in both males (65) and females (66). This ERβ-mediated increase in Ot mRNA was specific to the PVN and not seen in the MPOA, SON (65), medial amygdala, or VMH (66).

Since I throw some DHEA in there at the borderline dosages and aromatase requires 3xNADPH per estrogen (more than the conversions of testosterone to DHT) that one makes you wonder, though clearly it doesn't have a monopoly on oxytocin release (5-HT receptors, etc.). To distinguish one I plan to try 5-HTP with this stack one of these weekends just to see what it does... There's also testosterone I would totally try but no access to that.

I do not get the impression the empathy was from allopregnanolone, because it seemed to have a stabilizing/down-to-earth effect instead (judging from a precursor supplement) - but more experiments needed to confirm that one [it could be dose-dependent]. The long half-life of its effects is an impediment. This is the only time I've ever valued pregnenolone over allopregnanolone.

 

[Terma]

Suppose some of this were through estrogen, then you'd want to constrain the high empathy mode to a day or two (which happened to be the plan) regardless that these articles comment on less specific modulation than ERβ on oxytocin:

Extra-nuclear estrogen receptor GPR30 regulates serotonin function in rat hypothalamus
Estrogen desensitizes 5-HT(1A) receptors and reduces levels of G(z), G(i1) and G(i3) proteins in the hypothalamus. - PubMed - NCBI

Highlights how estradiol is best exploited in short spurts. Of course it wouldn't be the only hormone increased either (to me it a matter of offsetting any undesirable effects and not turning it into a chronic influence on baseline levels... which I wonder about weekly but eh). I imagine this would fail if you had high estrogen to begin with, unless the effect were localized. This makes for a lot of assumption but better safe. I imagine histidine/histamine could relate... This whole thing is only a 50% guess, but estrogen seemed like a possibility, so deserves some kind of disclaimer.

Oh and loosely: The Modulating Role of Sex and Anabolic-Androgenic Steroid Hormones in Cannabinoid Sensitivity ("both progesterone and estrogen reduce basal levels of FAAH", "administration of estradiol to OVX markedly reduced the density of CB1Rs to the levels observed in cycling females", etc.)

 

[Terma]

In this state you can analyze problems with a higher ability, but what's truly great is you receive like four times the emotional reward from realizations, at least in part because you get so many more about your life... It's truly rewarding. It makes me thankful for existing because it makes me feel like all the ***t was worth it to get to this point. I really like it :3

haidut you drink a couple beers on Friday or Saturday, there bud? I take a couple hits of estrogen with some cannabionolallopregnanolonedheadimethyltetrahydrofolatehistidine and something straight to the brain like she was always meant to be there since the beginning of time. It's like a mental orgasm I can't keep down my throat, at least once a week for the rest of my life if I can keep it up like this! ;3

I have the ability to say **** off to instances of confusion - or maybe disorder, or dissonance? - and they just **** off, just like that. I'm not sure that one will make sense to anyone - but does it matter? I'm not sure. [but **** off to that I guess, let's just get along?]

It's like I'm receiving endorphins as reward for fixing problems, finding solutions, resolving things. There's no way this is crazy, it's way too good and fluffy :3.

I'm really sorry if I've waited somebody up. It's very difficult to communicate experiences like this. But if no one else ever experienced this, that would make me sad.

It's like I'm a cougar in the process of taming a dolphin so he can graduate from swimming around a pond of knowledge to sailing the high seas of understanding. I love writing gay things now!

 

[Terma]

Maybe the coolest part - because I've normally had trouble with various auditory cues and inability to distinguish conversations in a crowd (whatever that's called again) - is that I can listen to pieces of music and much more easily filter toward individual instruments or singers. Essentially it increases your music transcription abilities, and clearly multitasking abilities.

I've written this like 10 times, but... You can write new music or reinterpret music more creatively and much more easily, almost like a wave is playing in your head and you can just shape it to your liking in real-time, though not quite literally. As if you hear all or most of the notes you want to hear at the same time (like pressing all the keys you like on a piano at once) and you just pick them out and create variations of song parts as you go - improvisation abilities. It even sounds like an organ, piano or synthesizer in my head. As if you can hear several songs at one, or even create several songs, or rather as if you're creating one song from a combination or selection of simultaneously playing waves representing the different musical/tonal possibilities.

Repetition of song parts is so much more effective and fulfilling when they're overflowing with variation. Of course that's why you'd listen to 10 different live interpretations of a song on youtube. Everything is so clear, but not hard-edged - all the mental transitions are soft, much less brisk than say, surfing in the ocean; maybe more like the flight of an usually majestic bird. The filtering is always an approximation, but it works great. Perfectionism is the enemy of organic creativity. You just focus in on the things you want to discover and the sun shines on them.

(Don't ask me for proof, but I believe pregnenolone and DHEA - maybe via IGF-1, and probably several other of the other substances and things - are helping my vocal chords recover a little, just enough to put a vocal line down to communicate to someone that won't make them scratch out their ears; I mean there was no way I could come remotely close to that before - I'm not a singer here)

 

[Terma]

Minor points:

Magnesium malate is also a good form of magnesium, but I've never been able to find a pure powder form. If anyone knows somewhere that exists, that would be great. I plan to give magnesium beta-hydroxybutyrate a try soon.

Warning: When using caprylic acid oil together with oral cannabinoid, don't go over 1tsp-1tbsp the first time(s) so you can gauge your reaction. The gut slows down dramatically from oral cannabinoid and excess caprylic acid will burn a couple hours later if there's too much. I'm used to it so I can handle it somewhat, but if you've never done that you're gonna have a bad time. There might be something similar for histidine because it increases stomach acid, though that can be useful in itself.

This protocol is the entire difference between talking to someone nervously afraid of saying the wrong thing, versus talking to someone just because you genuinely feel like talking to them and enjoy the subject matter.

 

[Terma]

"Ah ***t, I got L-histidine in my eye! What do I do?" (said by no one before in the history of man)

 

[Terma]

I believe there is such a thing as a pure emotional orgasm. Because I just had one, and one for the next 3 days.

LOTS of topical pregnenolone + DHEA (best in oil carrier apparently), cannabos, caprylic acid, methylfolate, histidine, beta-alanine, magnesium aspartate, calcium citrate, potassium bicarbonate + ascorbic acid, pyritinol, a couple B vits, some great french singers, sushi (including eggs), white sugar, whey powder and B12 and a few other things the night before, and some really cute pictures from the internet - but I just ran out of Taurine unexpectedly.

I can tell you for certain that upping the dose on the steroids past the comfort limit can have some desirable effects ;3. Remember: we are explorers ;3

 

[Hitchens]

Great read, Dr. Robert Lanza's Beyond Biocentrism. Having lost my fiancee this past year it bridged a gap between, NDE stories, hospice care workers, and quantum theory. Delusory or not,

 

[Terma]

Sorry to hear that. We lost a dear family member this year (awful circumstances). Well I guess there are no great circumstances for this.

I'll look that up (except like I told someone in another post, I'm a short & sweet type so I tend not to do books anymore :P, but I'll check it out - never heard of it).