Social Ostracism Causes Damage To Physical And Mental Health; As Strong Or More Than Bullying

ReSTART

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Source: http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/2372732214549753

Ostracism means being ignored and excluded. Like bullying, ostracism causes pain and distress. Its targets either attempt compensatory behavior, aimed at being likeable and included, or they retaliate, provoke, and aggress. Qualitative interviews suggest that frequent exposures to ostracism make targets become depressed, exhibit helplessness, and engage in suicidal ideation and/or attempts. Unlike bullying, ostracism need not be persistent or unwanted, is difficult to monitor and penalize, and negatively affects basic human needs for acknowledgment and meaning. Research on ostracism reveals its characteristics, compares its consequences with being bullied, and suggests implications for public policy.

Ostracism is more insidious than bullying. People can ostracize others unnoticed and with relative impunity. Ostracism hurts as much or more than bullying, yet because it is characterized by the absence of attention and acknowledgment, it is difficult to monitor and regulate (Williams, 2001). In addition, individuals who endure long-term exposure to ostracism in schools (Saylor et al., 2012; Saylor et al., 2013) and the workplace (O’Reilly, Robinson, Banki, & Berdahl, 2014) show more severe downstream consequences than they do to bullying.

Examining real-world ostracism and bullying, a recent U.K. study indicates ostracism’s power. A survey on bullying among 35,000 students between the ages of 11 and 18 (Benton, 2011) suggests that the most emotionally damaging type of bullying is “being left out.” Pitting ostracism and bullying against one another, in an effort to determine which is worse, researchers administered the Bullying and Ostracism Screening Scale (BOSS; Saylor et al., 2012) to 1,076 children averaging 12.6 years of age (Carpenter, Nida, Saylor, & Taylor, 2012). Children who had been ostracized displayed significantly greater need-threat than children who had been bullied. Also without exception, children who had experienced neither bullying nor ostracism had the lowest levels of need-threat, whereas those who had experienced both consistently reported the highest levels of threat—suggesting ostracism and bullying each contribute independently.
 

dq139

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I've been bullied and ostracized all my life because of my severe stuttering..let me tell u that being ostracized and ignored is heaven compared to having to worry everyday about possibly having to fight someone or get abused for no reason....at least being ostracized (being left alone) means u can relax and be in your own world were u feel comfortable....bullying and verbal abuse is highly stressfull to deal with i know from experience..it filled me full of rage anger anxiety and insecurity for most of my life.
 

Sobieski

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I've been bullied and ostracized all my life because of my severe stuttering..let me tell u that being ostracized and ignored is heaven compared to having to worry everyday about possibly having to fight someone or get abused for no reason....at least being ostracized (being left alone) means u can relax and be in your own world were u feel comfortable....bullying and verbal abuse is highly stressfull to deal with i know from experience..it filled me full of rage anger anxiety and insecurity for most of my life.

I'm really sorry to hear your experiences. If it means anything at all, I sincerely hope you're on the path to happiness in life.
 

dq139

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I'm really sorry to hear your experiences. If it means anything at all, I sincerely hope you're on the path to happiness in life.

Thank you for the the kind words I appreciate it alot...Im 26 now and hope some day if I can cure my severe social anxiety and stuttering (hopefully the peat diet can help) I can live a normal life I can be proud of.
 

DaveFoster

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I've been bullied and ostracized all my life because of my severe stuttering..let me tell u that being ostracized and ignored is heaven compared to having to worry everyday about possibly having to fight someone or get abused for no reason....at least being ostracized (being left alone) means u can relax and be in your own world were u feel comfortable....bullying and verbal abuse is highly stressfull to deal with i know from experience..it filled me full of rage anger anxiety and insecurity for most of my life.
Definitely. Forced exposure to others (as with compulsory public schooling) deeply perturbs developmental processes, and we say evidence for this with school shooters, the majority as minors.
 
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Peatful

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I've been bullied and ostracized all my life because of my severe stuttering..let me tell u that being ostracized and ignored is heaven compared to having to worry everyday about possibly having to fight someone or get abused for no reason....at least being ostracized (being left alone) means u can relax and be in your own world were u feel comfortable....bullying and verbal abuse is highly stressfull to deal with i know from experience..it filled me full of rage anger anxiety and insecurity for most of my life.
I bet your spirit is strong and your character noble.
Stutterers have my respect...meaning you have mine @dq139 .
 

AretnaP

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I've been bullied and ostracized all my life because of my severe stuttering..let me tell u that being ostracized and ignored is heaven compared to having to worry everyday about possibly having to fight someone or get abused for no reason....at least being ostracized (being left alone) means u can relax and be in your own world were u feel comfortable....bullying and verbal abuse is highly stressfull to deal with i know from experience..it filled me full of rage anger anxiety and insecurity for most of my life.

One thing I definitely disagree with Peat on is his overly-positive view of humans and human nature.
 

cyclops

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Definitely. Forced exposure to others (as with compulsory public schooling) deeply perturbs developmental processes, and we say evidence for this with school shooters, the majority as minors.

Kids need to be exposed to other children though no? What would a better setup look like?
 

DaveFoster

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Kids need to be exposed to other children though no? What would a better setup look like?
Voluntary participation. Certain kids (particularly those with autism and developmental disorders) need extra familial support and often long-term behavioral and psychotropic treatment (ideally with hormonal therapies), and unless they're sufficiently disabled, they often go unnoticed or their mild behavioral problems minimized, written off or misdiagnosed and given psychostimulants and the like.

Many of these kids have unstable lives at home as well, and their parents often suffer from mental illness and high levels of work stress, so you can't treat the kid as an atomized phenomenon; you have to involve the family, child and his environment (as with school), and rather than assuming that the kid enjoys school, you can simply ask him if he enjoys participating, but no one ever asks children if they like school. Nobody cares about kids, except in this disassociated, ruthlessly authoritarian and abstract, "We know what's best for them." It's systematic sociopathy.

Montessori schools (or more broadly charter schools) offer more personalized curriculums, and that's why many wealthy or educated people prefer these schools. It all stems from the ideology that humans have an innate deficiency (they're inherently evil, as with Original Sin and all that), and thus we need rigid systems to correct behavior. Normally, we have both social ostracism and punitive feedback with complementary assistance and aid (to help the child), but with the codified rigidity in people's belief structures who participate in these systems, there's no silver lining: only the cold, revolving door of pass or fail. You either participate in an identical way, or you fail with the goal to merely push children forward through the system. There's no ejection, and minimal provisions for children who do not mesh well with the system. These schools originally churned out factory workers, nothing more, and now they're beyond irrelevant. It's analogous to Dr. Peat's criticism of marketing, to treat people "as the market." "Children" have sadly become a mere idea.
 
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dq139

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Voluntary participation. Certain kids (particularly those with autism and developmental disorders) need extra familial support and often long-term behavioral and psychotropic treatment (ideally with hormonal therapies), and unless they're sufficiently disabled, they often go unnoticed or their mild behavioral problems minimized, written off or misdiagnosed and given psychostimulants and the like.

Many of these kids have unstable lives at home as well, and their parents often suffer from mental illness and high levels of work stress, so you can't treat the kid as an atomized phenomenon; you have to involve the family, child and his environment (as with school), and rather than assuming that the kid enjoys school, you can simply ask him if he enjoys participating, but no one ever asks children if they like school. Nobody cares about kids, except in this disassociated, ruthlessly authoritarian and abstract, "We know what's best for them." It's systematic sociopathy.

Montessori schools (or more broadly charter schools) offer more personalized curriculums, and that's why many wealthy or educated people prefer these schools. It all stems from the ideology that humans have an innate deficiency (they're inherently evil, as with Original Sin and all that), and thus we need rigid systems to correct behavior. Normally, we have both social ostracism and punitive feedback with complementary assistance and aid (to help the child), but with the codified rigidity in people's belief structures who participate in these systems, there's no silver lining: only the cold, revolving door of pass or fail. You either participate in an identical way, or you fail with the goal to merely push children forward through the system. There's no ejection, and minimal provisions for children who do not mesh well with the system. These schools originally churned out factory workers, nothing more, and now they're beyond irrelevant. It's analogous to Dr. Peat's criticism of marketing, to treat people "as the market." "Children" have sadly become a mere idea.

From my experiences, I've learned that this society is no different from anyother animal social group like wolves or monkeys...especially with young men any abnormality or weakness will be recognized and either attacked or ostracized (if the target is willing to fight back)....the strong and healthy survive & the humans with any health or mental problems get to live a hell on earth life that basically has no meaning. In ancient time the weak or unhealthy would just be killed off or starved. In this society we are kept alive by laws protecting us.

It really is still a do or don't do kill or be killed no sympathy world in 2018...we are getting better with helping others but human animal nature is to let the weak or unhealthy be on their own or die off.
 
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Many of these kids have unstable lives at home as well, and their parents often suffer from mental illness and high levels of work stress, so you can't treat the kid as an atomized phenomenon; you have to involve the family, child and his environment (as with school), and rather than assuming that the kid enjoys school, you can simply ask him if he enjoys participating, but no one ever asks children if they like school. Nobody cares about kids, except in this disassociated, ruthlessly authoritarian and abstract, "We know what's best for them." It's systematic sociopathy.

Montessori schools (or more broadly charter schools) offer more personalized curriculums, and that's why many wealthy or educated people prefer these schools. It all stems from the ideology that humans have an innate deficiency (they're inherently evil, as with Original Sin and all that), and thus we need rigid systems to correct behavior. Normally, we have both social ostracism and punitive feedback with complementary assistance and aid (to help the child), but with the codified rigidity in people's belief structures who participate in these systems, there's no silver lining: only the cold, revolving door of pass or fail. You either participate in an identical way, or you fail with the goal to merely push children forward through the system. There's no ejection, and minimal provisions for children who do not mesh well with the system. These schools originally churned out factory workers, nothing more, and now they're beyond irrelevant. It's analogous to Dr. Peat's criticism of marketing, to treat people "as the market." "Children" have sadly become a mere idea.

We're little more than cattle for the people who set up these systems. Fortunately for the rich they can afford to be put out to pasture.
 

mt_dreams

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If science cared about these issues, they would reform the school structure.
not to mention the ideas are tough to grasp. The real world runs on exclusion & rejection. By not teaching these concepts & why they are happening to children, we risk them not being adequately able to handle the realities of life. It seems tougher to tackle ostracism. Bullying is quite easy to explain, especially when it's not physical. ostracism hits more to the character of the individual, which is directly related to esteem.

Weirdly enough regarding humans being born into original sin. When I was younger, and not really versed in religious symbolism, I thought that meaning was mathematical as in we are all born into time (or the perception of time). it still makes more sense than the official meaning.
 

Mukem

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From my experiences, I've learned that this society is no different from anyother animal social group like wolves or monkeys...especially with young men any abnormality or weakness will be recognized and either attacked or ostracized (if the target is willing to fight back)....the strong and healthy survive & the humans with any health or mental problems get to live a hell on earth life that basically has no meaning. In ancient time the weak or unhealthy would just be killed off or starved. In this society we are kept alive by laws protecting us.

Where do you live, the third world?
 

jamies33

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I've been bullied and ostracized all my life because of my severe stuttering..let me tell u that being ostracized and ignored is heaven compared to having to worry everyday about possibly having to fight someone or get abused for no reason....at least being ostracized (being left alone) means u can relax and be in your own world were u feel comfortable....bullying and verbal abuse is highly stressfull to deal with i know from experience..it filled me full of rage anger anxiety and insecurity for most of my life.
Have you tried cyproheptadine? Or any endeavour to lower serotonin at all? I ask because cypro was Ray's response to my own stuttering inquiry, and he is familiar with a "cured" stutterer in Paul Stamets. Psilocybin mushrooms and cypro agonise 5HT1a, which lowers serotonin... have you tried eliminating starch, or adding gelatin to protein meals?
 

dq139

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I bet your spirit is strong and your character noble.
Stutterers have my respect...meaning you have mine @dq139 .
Have you tried cyproheptadine? Or any endeavour to lower serotonin at all? I ask because cypro was Ray's response to my own stuttering inquiry, and he is familiar with a "cured" stutterer in Paul Stamets. Psilocybin mushrooms and cypro agonise 5HT1a, which lowers serotonin... have you tried eliminating starch, or adding gelatin to protein meals?

The only thing I have taken to lower serotonin is tyrosine and bcaas..I will look into all of which u mentioned, thank u...starch has been my main crab source, potatoes particularly. I live in north east USA so I can't get fresh fruit all year round
 

Lolinaa

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Where do you live, the third world?
No need to live in 3rd world countries for that, I live in Europe, in France and I have been bullied badly in one of my former job, it all started with a woman not liking me and who spoke to others (very immature) people behind my back and as it was a place with lots of stupid people they follow her, it was such a crazy time in my life that I wouldn't wish it to anybody.
There are a lot of insecure people who take pleasure in acting nasty to others. And as I did not understand what was happening to me I took it very personally and suffered.

I empathize @dq139. Sending you hugs.

PS: just wanted to add the Manager was on my side, but I still quit because we were too nice and polite for these nasties. That's why its important to learn about boundaries and put limits quickly.
 
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dq139

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No need to live in 3rd world countries for that, I live in Europe, in France and I have been bullied badly in one of my former job, it all started with a woman not liking me and who spoke to others (very immature) people behind my back and as it was a place with lots of stupid people they follow her, it was such a crazy time in my life that I wouldn't wish it to anybody.
There are a lot of insecure people who take pleasure in acting nasty to others. And as I did not understand what was happening to me I took it very personally and suffered.

I empathize @dq139. Sending you hugs.

PS: just wanted to add the Manager was on my side, but I still quit because we were too nice and polite for these nasties. That's why its important to learn about boundaries and put limits quickly.

Thank u for understanding! And yeah definately, you learn to put people or "animals" in their place or else you will be tormented everyday. You get what u put up with so to speak.
 

Hugh Johnson

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I've been bullied and ostracized all my life because of my severe stuttering..let me tell u that being ostracized and ignored is heaven compared to having to worry everyday about possibly having to fight someone or get abused for no reason....at least being ostracized (being left alone) means u can relax and be in your own world were u feel comfortable....bullying and verbal abuse is highly stressfull to deal with i know from experience..it filled me full of rage anger anxiety and insecurity for most of my life.
For what it's worth, Elman was highly successful in curing stutteing with hypnosis. Not 100%, but typically he cured it.
 
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