Can't get out of DP/DR and anhedonia

[Tidal]

I am sick of experiencing 24/7 depersonalization and anhedonia. The only thing to ever give some glimmer of remission was coming off of amitriptyline (which caused my dp/dr) and gave me a week long window of remission from everything - including dysautonomia and temporarily allowed me to feel my stomach again and nausea.
I've tried recreating this by increasing histamine with kutaj or inducing specific cytochrome enzymes. No luck.
I would kill to know what was actually happening in the brain during this period. I also had flu symptoms when this window was happening and I have an autoimmune disease and can't catch colds now. That came about at the exact same time as anhedonia whilst on fluoxetine.

If it is all down to receptor desensitization then surely inhibiting protein kinase C would fix it but it doesn't.

Tried so many things I don't know what to do anymore

 

[DenizkaRedizka]

Hey, I'm with you. I also suffer from derealization and depersonalization for about three years. And he also took fluoxetine for 4 months. I don't know how to fix it. I wish you strength and perseverance!

 

[InChristAlone]

Dysregulated nervous system from trauma.

 

[Vileplume]

Endotoxin, and the white tongue characteristic of it, guarantees anhedonia for me.

When the white tongue goes away, anhedonia vanishes.

How's your digestion? Tongue clear?

 

[Tidal]

Dysregulated nervous system from trauma. View attachment 41242

So how do you fix it? Amitriptyline caused the depersonalization and it probably did mess with the hpa axis somehow

 

[InChristAlone]

So how do you fix it? Amitriptyline caused the depersonalization and it probably did mess with the hpa axis somehow

Somatic experiencing. Learning to be aware of your body, like feeling your butt on your chair, even giving yourself a tight hug while you sit there. If it feels scary then you should do this slowly. Start with just a small amount of being aware of your body like how your foot feels. And also being mindful to not control your breathing allowing it to regulate itself. There'any ways to get regulation back, the nervous system wants to be regulated so any kind of scary feelings will start coming up as you do this and you need to be able to handle these feelings. Go slowly. Slow and steady never pushing into anything that causes too much overwhelm. Can't force it.

 

[Tidal]

Somatic experiencing. Learning to be aware of your body, like feeling your butt on your chair, even giving yourself a tight hug while you sit there. If it feels scary then you should do this slowly. Start with just a small amount of being aware of your body like how your foot feels. And also being mindful to not control your breathing allowing it to regulate itself. There'any ways to get regulation back, the nervous system wants to be regulated so any kind of scary feelings will start coming up as you do this and you need to be able to handle these feelings. Go slowly. Slow and steady never pushing into anything that causes too much overwhelm. Can't force it.

I am aware of my body, I just feel like all the vibes have gone from the world around me

 

[cs3000]

I had both to a intense degree acutely induced. It took about 3 years to diminish, now barely any just remnants. was very intense so with the right approach if mild/moderate it might take less time. if not well it's the way that worked either way

My #1 advice would be "you have to leave it for it to leave you".
it's about fading its momentum over time with re-focus, even this thread triggers to add momentum to it.

you can see this as opportunity to gain re-focus intention/ability. each time you start to ruminate about the emotional state/attention shifts to it again is a new opportunity to return to something else with new INTENTION, to be here/be focused on something instead.


It's anxiety based & can fuel itself with your focus on it.
the more you focus on it the more it sticks around. reading up on it, trying to solve it using info/finding like other stuff is the wrong approach for this one i think. i mean i guess you could happen to land on something that works chemically but going for this drives it in further until you do (if you do). (going for stuff that works to reduce anxiety in general is probably better if going this way e.g high sugar intake to prevent cortisol spiking duration if small intestine is in good shape, eating enough calories consistently, general stuff maybe aspirin if tolerated, heavy metal test might be worthwhile, but i think its secondary approach for dp/dr)

So alternatively primarily it requires patience from understanding it takes a while but does fade (if approached well), & to train your brain to recognize when you're focusing on it, with daily established intention to return to any other focus in this moment. (don't ruminate about how something feels / seems just re-direct these thoughts again, focus is on something for its own sake)

re-directing thought trains about it that just lengthens it, dropping threads forums vids about it etc. returning to closed eyes & a couple intentional deep breaths then thinking of what you're doing next, watching or listening to funny stuff even if not feeling it as fully as before (e.g TMP podcast) & returning back to it at the times your attention gets pulled away, master finding great movies shows even if they're resonating at 20%,
writing down seeing & solving other problems instead with next steps bit by bit, whatever is happening in the moment now cooking washing dishes etc zoom back into it and repeat, anything that helps switch focus. snapping fingers "right what am i doing now/next". re-establish new activity / focusing on something happening this moment in its own context

every time you do that it's a+1 win. you can gamify it this way. the priority is to focus on here anyway because that's living, the other stuff is distraction. then over time the brain circuits associated with the old way are atrophying & fade away as the better way is established

 

[cs3000]

-

i'd say about 2 years for majority of it to be faded away on the overall, this way*, for me personally once i dialed in this perspective

 

[Tidal]

It isn't anxiety based, it's a new baseline which never shifts. Not even a little.

No amount of trying to ignore this will help when it literally governs my conscious experience of the world and how I perceive everything. I've tried to and it's just impossible.

It's very clear to me that something isn't functioning properly in my brain, be it NMDA receptors or something else and I NEED to fix it.

I just don't know how to and the lack of information about this is honestly staggering

 

[maxonz]

lithium orotate helped me calm down and get out of a state of anxiety i had been in for awhile recently. Just 5 mg in the evening.

 

[cs3000]

It isn't anxiety based, it's a new baseline which never shifts. Not even a little.

No amount of trying to ignore this will help when it literally governs my conscious experience of the world and how I perceive everything. I've tried to and it's just impossible.

It's very clear to me that something isn't functioning properly in my brain, be it NMDA receptors or something else and I NEED to fix it.

I just don't know how to and the lack of information about this is honestly staggering

i experienced it as a baseline to experience also, induced chemically. so yeah i know its physiologically induced. but it being physiological doesn't mean it has to be static until you find the perfect specific angle - for some things yes - but your way of being also changes your brain structures especially for something like this .

if you continually focus on it as experience you are physically strengthening those structures & re-activating it. if you're constantly focused on it you won't get gaps and you wouldn't even be able to notice them. it might not feel the same as anxiety but that's its domain. rumination & focus on it extends it / triggers it even this thread can act towards that. yes its physiological but also psychological combined as a trigger/extension, no that way is not passively ignoring it - its an ongoing active intentional reprogramming of the structures of your brain. with conscious awareness intention & re-focus. i went through this long enough to gain conscious understanding of the way it works & found an approach that worked

if ur looking for a solution from someone who got past it it's there, (i'm saying i had both intense DP/DR and faded the vast majority of it - it didn't go from a supplement or specific biological angle i found, it went intentionally over time from what i described) , anyway if u want to stop looking to land on a specific angle in the future well u could take on this way and see how well things might improve with time approached like this instead

 

[TheSir]

It isn't anxiety based, it's a new baseline which never shifts. Not even a little.

No amount of trying to ignore this will help when it literally governs my conscious experience of the world and how I perceive everything. I've tried to and it's just impossible.

It's very clear to me that something isn't functioning properly in my brain, be it NMDA receptors or something else and I NEED to fix it.

I just don't know how to and the lack of information about this is honestly staggering

Have you gotten a HTMA? This should shed light into your problem. Meanwhile, any kind of grounding mental/meditative/praying activity will do wonders, as will Buteyko. DP/DR has pretty good prognosis, with most cases going away over time.